同主题写作ISSUE之【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】——ISSUE143 TASK BY 米饭袜子

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

When considering the relationship bwteen a kite and the string fastened to it,we could easily understand it is the seemingly anoying string that assist the kite fly higher rather than just astrict it.In fact,the theory can be adopted when it comes to the artists and critics as well.

Some may hold the same view that “criticism tends to undermine and constrain the artist's creativity" as the topic above reasoning out “artists should pay little attention to their critics”.For art productions are always born with the sensibility deep in the artist’ s heart while one of criticism's goals is the pursuit of a rational basis for art appreciation ,it appears that they aren’t in accordance with each other,however,chances that combine them to realise value maximization for society are greater,that is ,if artists make a amalgamation in their “creativity” and critics’ “ rational cricicism”,instead of choosing to pay attention or ignore,maybe art can “fly higher”. It is simple to catch the conflict between art and criticism alongside,so I’d like to mainly throw light on the unity of them.

Art ,to some extend,is on grounds of a kind of creative action or interaction with bold imagination，peculiar hyperbole，which on the basis of liberty and emotion,but limits ,may stem from criticism ,are necessary sometimes to lead artists’painstaking care to a lasting value.For instance,the Graffiti rising at the end of 60s in the U.S.At the very begining it’s painted everywhere such as walls, underground,ect.thus arousing criticism,and is even treated as a sort of criminal by the local government,also critics refuse to name it art but rubish infecting the environment.As a matter of fact, as long as there is plans, suitable selection of venues, items,and contents of significance Graffiti is a kind of pollution will not be true!Actually,Graffiti nowadays has developed into another branch of art with vivid figures,profound sense as well as well-organised teams whose works are painted on walls in many cities as a part of the local sights named “Graffiti walls” and its status that one of the most popular street art in the U.S. in mordern times has proved its success..In this case,no matter the criticism from critics or even the injunction from the government ,in fact,serve as a propeller .What’s more important ,the development of Graffiti depend on its afterworlds accepting the criticism about its chaos and babbittry in its early days according to the precondition “as long as”mentioned above,namely the unity.

Again,if we regard criticism as a kind of rational thinking ,besides the one aspect of the combination,as I just stated on the surface,the further relationship between sencse and sensibility in art can become another form of integration.

In our ordinary life,there maybe such situation that a girl wanted to marry a yong man while her parents argued against,for the man’s poverty and low educational attianment.Then,sense for reality and sensibility for love debated in the girl’s mind,and she selected the latter.Forty years later,the then gilr led a happy life. It looks as if sense was defeated,however,why don’t we take the essence in the girl’s choice into account that it is the analysis on the man’s character,potential ability,ect., going on uncounciously through their contacts,that help her choose the best.And the process is a rational one.

That is to say,based on the instance above,sensibility is ,in a way,the prolongation of sense itself ,in other words sence act as elements in enlarging sensibility.Returning to art,just take Performing Arts for a example. Too "rational" performance may seem stereotyped characters;,neverthless too "emotional"
may be exaggerated at the same time even jump out of the scope of the role of identity and isolate from the overall script. Only the rational analysis of the performance at all levels firstly can make the emotional level, the difference between inside and otside the character, as well as changes in the rhythm of movement "have degrees" ,moreover,can improve the expression in actors’ emotion.

In conclusion,it is possible that most of people suppose artists and critics are contradictory as their characteristics each representing sensibility and sense,I think it is better to unite them from two aspects discussed ,after all,either artists or critics look forward to a bright future for art benefiting society.

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

妈呀，写得自己思维紊乱
及其啰嗦，但为了凑点字数木办法啊，再加上自己句子复习很滞后。。。。。。抓。。。。。。。
即将改我作文的筒子，辛苦啦！~！！！！！对不住啦！！！！

yuyu7yayaUID: 2461700

格式：
红色 不足之处
紫色 有争议，我没能完全理解。也许你是对的
绿色 拼写和语法错误 自己改哈
蓝色 很好瓦

When considering the relationship bwteen a kite and the string fastened to it, we could easily understand it is the seemingly anoying string that assist the kite fly higher rather than just astrict it. In fact, the theory can be adopted when it comes to the artists and critics as well.
开头很简洁清晰哦！
Some may hold the same view that “criticism tends to undermine and constrain the artist's creativity" as the topic above reasoning out “artists should pay little attention to their critics”. For art productions are always born with the sensibility deep in the artist’ s heart while one of criticism's goals is the pursuit of a rational basis for art appreciation, it appears that they aren’t in accordance with each other, However,
chances that combine them to realise value maximization for society are greater, that is ,if artists make a amalgamation in their “creativity” and critics’ “ rational cricicism”, instead of choosing to pay attention or ignore, maybe art can “fly higher”. It is simple to catch the conflict between art and criticism alongside, so I’d like to mainly throw light on the unity of them.
因为将艺术家的创造力和批评家的批评结合起来能够生成价值最大化，所以说，二者的结合是有益的。我觉得前两段可以合为一段，因为都是在破题嘛。
Art ,to some extend, is on grounds of a kind of creative action or interaction with bold imagination，peculiar
hyperbole，which on the basis of liberty and emotion, but limits ,may stem from criticism ,are necessary sometimes to lead artists’ painstaking care to a lasting value. For instance, the Graffiti rising（rise） at the end of 1960s in the U.S. At the very beginning, it’s painted everywhere such as walls, underground, ect, thus arousing criticism, and is even treated as a sort of criminal by the local government, also critics refuse to name it art but rubish infecting the environment. As a matter of fact, as long as there is plans, suitable selection of venues, items, and contents of significance, Graffiti is a kind of pollution will not be true! Actually, Graffiti nowadays has developed into another branch of art with vivid figures, profound sense as well as well-organised teams whose works are painted on walls in many cities as a part of the local sights named “Graffiti walls” and its status that one of the most popular street art in the U.S.（这两句能合成一句说吗，句子多了感觉比较罗嗦……） in mordern times has proved its success. （我总觉得它不是个完整的句子……）In this case, no matter the criticism from critics or even the injunction from the government, in fact, serve as a propeller.（是说批评家和政府的批评其实是一种有效的刺激吗.）
What’s more important, the development of Graffiti depend on its afterworlds accepting the criticism about its chaos and babbittry in its early days according to the precondition “as long as” mentioned above, namely the unity.
这段讲，艺术家的创作是充满了想象夸张，很自由很情绪化的。而批评家的那些建议却能够让艺术家的创作得以延续，取得永久的价值。用涂鸦的例子做个说明。但我觉得那个涂鸦的例子论述的没有力度。应该是，在60年代的时候，批评家们明确的指出涂鸦是需要在合适的地点，深刻的主题下才能够更加艺术，更creative；而在这之后艺术家接受了批评家的观点，调整了自己的创造模式，然后在现代社会取得了成功。应该是这样一个逻辑线，但是我觉得你这段的逻辑线并不清晰，只是说批评家和政府反对那种杂乱无章的粗俗的涂鸦，但却没有说批评家如何引导artists’ painstaking care to a lasting value.

Again, if we regard criticism as a kind of rational thinking,（批评并不都是rational think的结果哦，也有很情绪的时候） besides the one aspect of the combination, as I just stated on the surface, the further relationship between sencse and sensibility in art can become another form of integration.（Sense 和 sensibility不能直接就归给批评家和艺术家吧。有些艺术家两者兼具，收放有度，而有些批评家缺乏理智，喜欢凭感觉去评估。）
In our ordinary life, there maybe such situation that a girl wanted to marry a yong man while her parents argued against, for the man’s poverty and low educational attianment. Then, sense for reality and sensibility for love debated in the girl’s mind, and she selected the latter. Forty years later, the then gilr led a happy life.（这个the有存在的必要么？） It looks as if sense was defeated, however, why don’t we take the essence in the girl’s choice into account that it is the analysis on the man’s character, potential ability, ect., going on uncounciously through their contacts, that help her choose the best. And the process is a rational one.
类比是不错啦，在
Sense 和 sensibility这个理论被认同的情况下。但是貌似比较罗嗦，精简一下语言比较好。
That is to say, based on the instance above, sensibility is ,in a way, the prolongation of sense itself ,in other words sence act as elements in enlarging sensibility. Returning to art, just take Performing Arts for a example. Too "rational" performance may seem stereotyped characters, neverthless too "emotional" may be exaggerated at the same time even jump out of the scope of the role of identity and isolate from the overall script. Only the rational analysis of the performance at all levels firstly can make the emotional level, the difference between inside and otside the character, as well as changes in the rhythm of movement "have degrees" , moreover, can improve the expression in actors’ emotion.
In conclusion, it is possible that most of people suppose artists and critics are contradictory as their characteristics each representing sensibility and sense, I think it is better to unite them from two aspects discussed, after all, either artists or critics look forward to a bright future for art benefiting society.

1 文章很大一部分在论证Sense 和 sensibility的关系。但是Sense 和 sensibility不能直接就归给批评家和艺术家吧。有些艺术家两者兼具，收放有度，而有些批评家缺乏理智，喜欢凭感觉去评估。这个理论缺乏稳定性，漏洞比较大，自圆其说的难度比较大吧。
2文章其实只有一个主论点，就是认为批评家的批评对与artists is useful.但没有分论点支持哦。例子和论述好像直接就奔着 artist should pay attention to critics’ words 去了。没有逻辑框架的论证，个人认为，其实等于没有论证。
3有些句子，嗯……，比较罗嗦。再精简精简？
4注意在标点符号后要空格在写单词，不然的话在word里面检查拼写和语法错误会拉出很多小红线和绿线哦。

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

改地好认真~感动一个~JJ提的建议和意见都很很很很对，这篇I的最大特点就是啰嗦！！！
然后捏~至于这个论点，纯属我当时太想发挥点儿啥所致，更深层的原因是看了老大的分析举着自个儿应发散出去，但显然很不成功，漏洞百出。
嗯嗯，筒子们滴还木改，改去改去~

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

刚又仔仔细细看了一哈。说明三点昂：
1、举涂鸦的例子是想说明艺术家的作品虽然是建立在大胆夸张和想象的基础上的，有很大自由度，但有时需要批评家给予规范，而这些规范就出自评论
2、说sense&sensibility是为了阐释AC间的深层的UNITY，本意不想赋予其绝对的含义。八过用英语表达出来显然让人误解了
3、那个所谓的类比，其实我一直怀疑其存在的必要性，甚至举着会因其而跑题，jessi说已然很难让人明白那段的含义了，所以再精简。。。。。。。。

至于那个开头，我倒是举着是废话。。。。。。。。。。。

另，写I的时候是不是要考虑自己论点的普遍性？？
问问问问问。。。。。。。。

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

自己up一哈，最后那个问题木的人回答。。。。。。。