ARGUMENT143【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK II ---Alex_2009

Alex_2009UID: 2616286

在analytical & critical & effective & academic writing 的前提下，whatever you like is right。——草木也知愁

In this argument the writer claims that the recent article on corporate downsizing from a national newspaper gives a misleading impression and is contradicted by a recent report on the United States economy. To support his/her opinion, he/she point out three reasons to refute the article base on the report. These reasons seem well-presented, but if we close scrutiny of each fact, we will find none of them lend credible support to his/her opinion.
(开头尝试了离开模板，按自己的思路写，感觉有点舒畅，而且貌似写的也不是那么烂)

(第一段铁定攻击最重要的错误)
First and foremost, the fact that since 1992 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated does not consider whether the job suitable for the workers downsized by the corporation. It’s entirely possible that the increased jobs are the common ones like washing dishes in the hotel or other part-time jobs for people who don’t have a special skill. In addition, the job increase doesn’t necessarily indicate that the job can meet the need of the American. On one hand, as we know, it is entirely possible that the population also get a corresponding growth while the job increased over time. On the other hand, the so-called increased jobs is not only offered to the workers who lost their jobs in the American society, many graduates and other people who have a special skill can go shares the opportunities being employed. Hence, this factor about the job increase should be better presented.

Second, the writer failed to provide the average time spent by the unemployed to find another job. We can not rule out the possible that they took a long time to get the job for living as a result of the depression of economy. Besides, he/she merely referred to an abstract phrase “many of those” instead of precise figure. Without an accurate figure or percentage of the unemployed who find another job, the writer can not convince us to support his/her proposition.

Finally, the writer assumes that many new jobs are in the industries tend to pay above-average wages to illustrate these new jobs are highly paid for the competent workers. Yet, he/she offers no evidence to substantiate this assumption. He/she should provide a detail to present this point. Moreover, the writer still cannot rule out the possibility that many laid-off workers do face serious economic hardship before they find a new job base on the facts he/she cites.

In sum, the writer’s claim is not well supported. To convince us, he/she should provide more clear evidence to contradict rebut the article. Such as to take precise figure or percentage instead of abstract phases like “far more”, “ many of those” and “the vast majority of” to support the writer’s claim efficiently.

PassonChenUID: 2614331

In this argument the writer claims that the recent article on corporate downsizing from a national newspaper gives a misleading impression and is contradicted by a recent report on the United States economy. To support his/her opinion, he/she point out three reasons to refute the article base on the report. These reasons seem well-presented, but if we close scrutiny of each fact, we will find none of them lend credible support to his/her opinion.
(开头尝试了离开模板，按自己的思路写，感觉有点舒畅，而且貌似写的也不是那么烂)

(第一段铁定攻击最重要的错误)
First and foremost, the fact that since 1992 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated does not consider whether the job suitable for the workers downsized by the corporation. It’s entirely possible that the increased jobs are the common ones like washing dishes in the hotel or other part-time jobs for people who don’t have a special skill(这种情况不符合常理）. In addition, the job increase doesn’t necessarily indicate that the job can meet the need of the American. On one hand, as we know, it is entirely possible that the population also get a corresponding growth while the job increased over time. On the other hand, the so-called increased jobs is not only offered to the workers who lost their jobs in the American society, many graduates and other people who have a special skill can go shares the opportunities being employed. Hence, this factor about the job increase should be better presented.（好）

Second, the writer failed to provide the average time spent by the unemployed to find another job. （一语中的）We can not rule out the possible that they took a long time to get the job for living as a result of the depression of economy. Besides, he/she merely referred to an abstract phrase “many of those” instead of precise figure. Without an accurate figure or percentage of the unemployed who find another job, the writer can not convince us to support his/her proposition.

Finally, the writer assumes that many new jobs are in the industries tend to pay above-average wages to illustrate these new jobs are highly paid for the competent workers. Yet, he/she offers no evidence to substantiate this assumption. He/she should provide a detail to present this point. Moreover, the writer still cannot rule out the possibility that many laid-off workers do face serious economic hardship before they find a new job base on the facts he/she cites.

In sum, the writer’s claim is not well supported. To convince us, he/she should provide more clear evidence to contradict rebut the article. Such as to take precise figure or percentage instead of abstract phases like “far more”, “ many of those” and “the vast majority of” to support the writer’s claim efficiently
文章批评得有力。语言表现得比较的细致到位。只是感到句式没有太多变化。

PassonChenUID: 2614331

我好像一般写不了多少字。想到的内容又差不多。
给点建议行不

Alex_2009UID: 2616286

自己改一遍，先占楼~~~

winning1030UID: 2538401

In this argument the writer claims that the recent article on corporate downsizing from a national newspaper gives a misleading impression and is contradicted by a recent report on the United States economy. To support his/her opinion, he/she point（points）out three reasons to refute the article base (based)on the report. These reasons seem well-presented, but if we make a close scrutiny of each fact, we will find none of them lend credible support to his/her opinion.
(开头尝试了离开模板，按自己的思路写，感觉有点舒畅，而且貌似写的也不是那么烂)

(第一段铁定攻击最重要的错误)
First and foremost, (based on) the fact that since 1992 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, (the writer) does not consider whether the job(jobs) (are) suitable for the workers downsized by the corporation.(语法有问题，consider的主语应是人，从句里面无谓语) It’s entirely possible that the increased jobs are the common ones like washing dishes in the hotel or other part-time jobs for people who don’t have a special skill. In addition, the job increase doesn’t necessarily indicate that the job (jobs) can meet the need of the American. On one hand, as we know, it is entirely possible that the population also get a corresponding growth while the job increased over time. On the other hand, the so-called increased jobs is not only offered to the workers who lost their jobs in the American society, many graduates and other people who have a special skill can go shares the opportunities being employed. Hence, this factor about the job increase should be better presented.

Second, the writer failed to provide the average time spent by the unemployed to find another job. We can not rule out the possible(possibility) that they took a long time to get the job for living as a result of the depression of economy. (这一次点没有展开，找工作花的时间很长怎么就不能支持作者的观点呢？没有给出解释)Besides, he/she merely referred to an abstract phrase “many of those” instead of precise figure. Without an accurate figure or percentage of the unemployed who find another job, the writer can not convince us to support his/her proposition.

Finally, the writer assumes that many new jobs are in the industries tend to pay above-average wages to illustrate these new jobs are highly paid for the competent workers.（还是没有展开，要解释为什么） Yet, he/she offers no evidence to substantiate this assumption. He/she should provide a detail to present this point. Moreover, the writer still cannot rule out the possibility that many laid-off workers do face serious economic hardship before they find a new job base on the facts he/she cites.（很突兀，考虑下移到上面一段去，因为找工作耗时太长，所以可能会引起在找到工作前的经济困难，或者等等。。。其实，我不太明白我所理解的和楼主的意思是否一致，如果理解错了，请指正）

In sum, the writer’s claim is not well supported. To convince us, he/she should provide more clear evidence to contradict rebut the article. Such as to take precise figure or percentage instead of abstract phases like “far more”, “ many of those” and “the vast majority of” to support the writer’s claim efficiently.

楼主的文章很流畅~！但是最重要的意见是，没有详细的分析和展开~


该死。。。又没颜色。。。