〓dies in flames， reborn from the ash〓作业ISSUE7 By Alex_2009

Alex_2009UID: 2616286

7 "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
what: video camera
written records

Due to the rapid social advance, the development of information technology, video camera came to our daily life, and has brought some change to our lifestyle. The speaker claims that the video camera has become more important than traditional written records in document as a result of its accurate and convincing record of modern life. However, to my way of thinking, the speaker overstate the influence of it, the emergence of video camera is just a supplement to traditional records, in order to meet people’s additional needs of modern life.

Admittedly, video camera is indeed advanced in several aspects. A video camera is a camera used for electronic motion picture acquisition, providing an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life. If we want to explain the nature phenomenon such as hurricane, tsunami or eruption of volcanic, by written records, we can only imagine them through our feelings from the words. Different people have different descriptions. But through video camera we can get an immediate observation directly and authentically from a screen. It can also be used in surveillance and monitoring tasks where unattended recording of a situation is required for later analysis. Such as the small cameras set in the elevator of the commercial building or the gate of ATM house, if there is a criminal case happens, camera records could help the police to know the details of that moment although they were not there. The video camera provides several terms to make up the shortage of traditional written records to content modern people’s desire.

Nevertheless, video camera is not so functional that it can supplante traditional written records, there are still some parts of people’s life it is useless. For example, in a debate competition, with video camera we can record their graphics and words, but we cannot record their thinking process which maybe more brilliant and abundant than their words. With written records we can describe the process vividly with lots of visual words and different kinds of rhetorical devices. Considering record the statistic and numerical information, such as to figure out the total loss of a city after an big earthquake, if we use video camera, we should set it all over the city with a large number, even though their thousands of pictures records which is hard and complex for estimating. Yet words can describe the loss in several aspects far more clearly. In these parts video camera has not catch up with traditional written records.

Furthermore, video camera still can not be used so widely as written records in modern society. Firstly, it is very expensive that a small quantity of people can afford to possess one in today’s life level especially in developing countries. And written document is a far more convenient method of recording in many occasions. For instance, it is better for students to use written form than to use a video camera to record the point in the class, and with written records students could review classes’ points just with a note book. Video camera works on the base of electricity. If we go out for a long time, it won’t be so convenient or even a encumbrance for us.

In sum, people’s life has been changed a lot and still changing by the development of technology, as time goes on, there will be a lot of new things invented to meet the needs of human beings. However, some traditional things like written records of documentation have last for a long time in history and seem irreplaceable or even last for ever.

Alex_2009UID: 2616286

It's ok, 狠狠的拍吧~~~

貌似结尾有点问题。。

ddcmj519UID: 176326

嗯？。。好吧。。明天再来看~

ddcmj519UID: 176326

Due to the rapid social advance, the development of information technology, video camera came to our daily life, and has brought some change to our lifestyle. The speaker 不要用这类字眼，据我所知貌似只有toefl的综合写作会用这调调。更何况这里也没用speaker。claims that the video camera has become more important than traditional written records in document as a result of its accurate and convincing record of modern life. However, to my way of thinking, the speaker overstate the influence of it, the emergence of video camera is just a supplement to traditional records, in order to meet people’s additional needs of modern life. （为啥我情不自禁的联想起来托福的作文开头- -！）

Admittedly, video camera is indeed advanced in several aspects. A video camera is a camera used for electronic motion picture acquisition, providing an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life.  重复用句外加这个定义其实还是没什么实质性的用处。。If we want to explain the nature phenomenon such as hurricane, tsunami or eruption of volcanic, by written records, we can only imagine them through our feelings from the words. Different people have different descriptions. But through video camera we can get an immediate observation directly and authentically from a screen. It 指代不清并且这里意思转的太突然，建议加关联词。can also be used in surveillance and monitoring tasks where unattended recording of a situation is required for later analysis. Such as the small cameras set in the elevator of the commercial building or the gate of ATM house, if there is a criminal case happens, camera records could help the police to know the details of that moment although they were not there. The video camera provides several terms to make up the shortage of traditional written records to content modern people’s desire.

Nevertheless, video camera is not so functional that it can supplante traditional written records, there are still some parts of people’s life it is useless. 这句话要表达什么意思？没懂。外加没有连词的两个短句怎么不断开--For example, in a debate competition, with video camera we can record their graphics and words, but we cannot record their thinking process which maybe more brilliant and abundant than their words. With written records we can describe the process vividly with lots of visual words and different kinds of rhetorical devices. Considering record the statistic and numerical information, such as to figure out the total loss of a city after an big earthquake, if we use video camera, we should set it all over the city with a large number, even though their thousands of pictures records which is hard and complex for estimating. Yet words can describe the loss in several aspects far more clearly. In these parts video camera has not catch up with traditional written records.

Furthermore, video camera still can not be used so widely as written records in modern society. Firstly, it is very expensive that a small quantity of people can afford to possess one in today’s life level especially in developing countries. And written document is a far more convenient method of recording in many occasions. For instance, it is better for students to use written form than to use a video camera to record the point in the class, and with written records students could review classes’ points just with a note book. Video camera works on the base of electricity. If we go out for a long time, it won’t be so convenient or even a encumbrance for us.

In sum, people’s life has been changed a lot and still changing by the development of technology, as time goes on, there will be a lot of new things invented to meet the needs of human beings. However, some traditional things like written records of documentation have last for a long time in history and seem irreplaceable or even last for ever.

语言还算顺畅，还有很大的提升空间~
结构也算清晰，但是内容就不够深入了，以上基本都是例子的堆砌，诚然，这样是比较容易上手，但是真正自己的思考该如何体现，所以我觉得这题看似简单。。其实还是很烦滴。。因为简单直白的东西，大家都倾向与去把这两样东西的属性拿来对比而少了些实质性深入的思维。这个重要性，需要从这俩被创造出的目的到个人应用到社会到历史角度全方位的想想，哪个重要？而不是这样例子例子例子。例子举得很好，但是没能点出例子背后的实质就比较悲哀了。所以我把这篇算做toefl作文。按照toefl的标准分数应该不低，但是G的话，大概就3.5分左右。

ddcmj519UID: 176326

当然有可能是我自己的理解有点过激。。

有问题 咱在讨论吧~
加油~

Alex_2009UID: 2616286

谢谢，哈哈，我觉得说的很到位，这两天被抓去没日没夜的干苦力，现在回归，谢谢cmj.

winning1030UID: 2538401

Due to the rapid social advance, the development of information technology, video camera came to our daily life, and has brought some change to our lifestyle. The speaker claims that the video camera has become more important than traditional written records in document as a result of its accurate and convincing record of modern life. However, to my way of thinking, the speaker overstate the influence of it, the emergence of video camera is just a supplement to traditional records, in order to meet people’s additional needs of modern life.

Admittedly, video camera is indeed advanced in several aspects. A video camera is a camera used for electronic motion picture acquisition, providing an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life. If we want to explain the nature phenomenon such as hurricane, tsunami or eruption of volcanic, by written records, we can only imagine them through our feelings from the words. Different people have different descriptions. But through video camera we can get an immediate observation directly and authentically from a screen. It can also be used in surveillance and monitoring tasks where unattended recording of a situation is required for later analysis. Such as the small cameras set in the elevator of the commercial building or the gate of ATM house, if there is a criminal case happens, camera records could help the police to know the details of that moment although they were not there. The video camera provides several terms to make up the shortage of traditional written records to content modern people’s desire.



Nevertheless, video camera is not so functional that it can supplante （？）traditional written records, there are still some parts of people’s life it is useless. For example, in a debate competition, with video camera we can record their graphics and words, but we cannot record their thinking process which maybe more brilliant and abundant than their words. With written records we can describe the process vividly with lots of visual words and different kinds of rhetorical devices. （例子有点问题，难道文字可以记录思想？怎么记录？思想是指他们的内在的思考过程吗？）Considering record the statistic and numerical information, such as to figure out the total loss of a city after an big earthquake, if we use video camera, we should set it all over the city with a large number, even though their thousands of pictures records which is hard and complex for estimating. Yet words can describe the loss in several aspects far more clearly. In these parts video camera has not catch up with traditional written records. （其实我在想，video里面可以有解说员的，可以说出损失数量等等，不一定要用图片表示）
Furthermore, video camera still can not be used so widely as written records in modern society. Firstly, it is very expensive that a small quantity of people can afford to possess one in today’s life level especially in developing countries. And written document is a far more convenient method of recording in many occasions. For instance, it is better for students to use written form than to use a video camera to record the point in the class, and with written records students could review classes’ points just with a note book. Video camera works on the base of electricity. If we go out for a long time, it won’t be so convenient or even a encumbrance for us.

In sum, people’s life has been changed a lot and still changing by the development of technology, as time goes on, there will be a lot of new things invented to meet the needs of human beings. However, some traditional things like written records of documentation have last for a long time in history and seem irreplaceable or even last for ever.

语言很流畅，例子也很好。看了cmj的评价，我觉得我也在你的水平，例子堆砌，没有挖实质，所以我不知道怎么评了。我觉得你写的这篇挺好的，很流畅。
紫色是好的例子，黄色是好的观点。

Alex_2009UID: 2616286

Due to the rapid social advance, the development of information technology, video camera came to our daily life, and has brought some change to our lifestyle. The speaker claims that the video camera has become more important than traditional written records in document as a result of its accurate and convincing record of modern life. However, to my way of thinking, the speaker overstate the influence of it, the emergence of video camera is just a supplement to traditional records, in order to meet people’s additional needs of modern life.

Admittedly, video camera is indeed advanced in several aspects. A video camera is a camera used for electronic motion picture acquisition, providing an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life. If we want to explain the nature phenomenon such as hurricane, tsunami or eruption of volcanic, by written records, we can only imagine them through our feelings from the words. Different people have different descriptions. But through video camera we can get an immediate observation directly and authentically from a screen. It can also be used in surveillance and monitoring tasks where unattended recording of a situation is required for later analysis. Such as the small cameras set in the elevator of the commercial building or the gate of ATM house, if there is a criminal case happens, camera records could help the police to know the details of that moment although they were not there. The video camera provides several terms to make up the shortage of traditional written records to content modern people’s desire.

Nevertheless, video camera is not so functional that it can supplante traditional written records, there are still some parts of people’s life it is useless. For example, in a debate competition, with video camera we can record their graphics and words, but we cannot record their thinking process which maybe more brilliant and abundant than their words. With written records we can describe the process vividly with lots of visual words and different kinds of rhetorical devices. Considering record the statistic and numerical information, such as to figure out the total loss of a city after an big earthquake, if we use video camera, we should set it all over the city with a large number, even though their thousands of pictures records which is hard and complex for estimating. Yet words can describe the loss in several aspects far more clearly. In these parts video camera has not catch up with traditional written records.

Furthermore, video camera still can not be used so widely as written records in modern society. Firstly, it is very expensive that a small quantity of people can afford to possess one in today’s life level especially in developing countries. And written document is a far more convenient method of recording in many occasions. For instance, it is better for students to use written form than to use a video camera to record the point in the class, and with written records students could review classes’ points just with a note book. Video camera works on the base of electricity. If we go out for a long time, it won’t be so convenient or even a encumbrance for us.

In sum, people’s life has been changed a lot and still changing by the development of technology, as time goes on, there will be a lot of new things invented to meet the needs of human beings. However, some traditional things like written records of documentation have last for a long time in history and seem irreplaceable or even last for ever.