寄托天下
查看: 1156|回复: 2

[未归类] 【5.6月份 互改作文cracking ibt essay! wydv9 第12次作业】 [复制链接]

Rank: 1

声望
1
寄托币
34
注册时间
2009-4-20
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2009-5-25 18:55:38 |显示全部楼层
第12次作业

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High schools should allow students to study the courses that students want to study.


Some experts, whose mainly direction in education, have pointed that the competition of countries depends on that of the talents whose majors may be computer science, management and so on.
Such prediction may send us a signal that whoever you are, to be talented and knowledgeable is a must to adapt to society, which raises a question about the selection of courses in high schools: how to make decisions to invigorate your potential ability. In my opinion, we should let the students go ahead for what they adore, for what they know better and what they are interested in.

Firstly, I'd like to make a quotation from one of the classics: interest starts all. So for those who can select courses by their willing, needless to say, interest must play an important role on his study. Interest can present him a so-called instant success, for once a person is interested in something, he will boast a strong passion for that, which will undoubtedly make him more dynamic to devote himself into his research or everything else.

Besides, the choice of students will also have an impact on the arrangement of the faculty members of school. The reason is that
teacher do not need to prepare all kinds of courses but only for what he or she is interested in as well. such consequence will spare the teachers a lot of time to do whatever they want to do: to pay emphasis on his or her own academic papers or something about research, to care about more of students except for only the academic performance, or even to enjoy a wonderful time with his or her families.


Last but not least, statistics have showed that concentrating on one thing may lead people to success more rapidly, and easily. One can devote all his time and energy to one thing instead of distributing them to all. To do a best is much better than to do all better.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
281
注册时间
2007-11-8
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2009-5-31 11:43:39 |显示全部楼层

RE: 【5.6月份 互改作文cracking ibt essay! wydv9 第12次作业】

Some experts, whose mainly direction in education, have pointed that the competition of countries depends on that of (去掉)the talents whose majors may be(majored in因为上面用过whose ...换个说法) computer science, management and so on.) a6 s" A: |1 A
Such prediction may send us a signal that whoever you are, to be talented and knowledgeable is a must to adapt to society, which raises a question about the selection of courses in high schools: how to make decisions to invigorate your potential ability. In my opinion, we should let the students go ahead for what they adore, for what they know better and what they are interested in. 5 [6  X9 K
; u! f' `1 J! K7 f' h+ o/ d
Firstly, I'd like to make a quotation from one of the classics: interest starts all. So for those who can select courses by(可以用based on) their willing, needless to say, interest must play an important role on his study. Interest can present him a so-called instant success, for once a person is interested in something, he will boast a strong passion (boast是不是不妥啊)for that, which will undoubtedly make him more dynamic to devote himself into his research or everything else.
Besides, the choice of students will also have an impact on the arrangement of the faculty members of school. The reason is that 8 ?# w% }% V3 O# r5 K$ x
teacher do not need to prepare all kinds of courses but only for what he or she is interested in as well(啰嗦吧). such consequence will spare the teachers a lot of time to do whatever they want to do: to pay emphasis on his or her own academic papers or something about research, to care about more of students except for only the academic performance, or even to enjoy a wonderful time with his or her families.
5 E  S5 C' q- Z9 h" {. @" V$ y: c, q

Last but not least, statistics have showed that concentrating on one thing may lead people to success more rapidly, (逗号去掉)and easily. One can devote all his time and energy to one thing (devote to可以改成concentrate on)instead of distributing them to all. To do a best is much better than to do all better.

总体感觉:
楼主的词汇很丰富,但似乎欠妥,多读些原文和例文应该会提高更快;
前两段的似乎与下文有所偏差,也离题较远;
还有标点符号要认真啊,嘻嘻。。第一次给别人改作文,不知道对不对,互相帮组吧!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 1

声望
0
寄托币
54
注册时间
2009-5-29
精华
0
帖子
0
发表于 2009-5-31 22:28:31 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 fzfz20090627 于 2009-6-1 23:33 编辑

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-959713-1-1.html

使用道具 举报

RE: 【5.6月份 互改作文cracking ibt essay! wydv9 第12次作业】 [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
【5.6月份 互改作文cracking ibt essay! wydv9 第12次作业】
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-956999-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部