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[i习作temp] 0910AW 同主题写作第二期 ISSUE13 by galloper A13蘅芜雪 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-5-31 21:32:08 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
ISSUE13.
"Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct."

Confronting with the situation that many lesser-known languages are extinct, some people insist that measurements should be taken to prevent such trend. Though languages partly represent humanity culture and history, however, one should take tradeoffs when deciding whether to make efforts to keep such languages, that is, saving every extinct language is unnecessary for sometimes the value of them is not worth the effort.

Language weighs much in the process of culture continuity and thus it has great value to be kept and researched. Language is such a mirror that reflects both the past and the future of the nation because it contains the history, from which the past development can be referred, and marks the characteristics, ones that can help to understand the current philosophy, of the nationality. Archeologists of all time try to entangle some history puzzles not only by studying cultural relics, but also by some existing language treasures like folks, epics, written history and etc. Such function of representing culture and history is irreplaceable. That’s why oral history is treasured now because a language, if being extinct, takes not only a way of communication, but also the history and culture of a nationality away. To keep cultural pluralism in the era of globalization, it’s the responsibility of one government to keep its extinct language from disappearance.

Language functions most in process of communication and thus if such function is replaced well by others, it’s not always necessary to keep it alive. Cultures and languages, like species, conform to the nature law as well. As a result, some languages that were eliminated by such law because of their ill profitability didn’t worth the effort to save them. Lain, for example, is such a language that was flourish in mid century and then was gradually extinct. It’s said that Latin was required course for students centuries ago because it was regarded as aristocratic language and authentic Bible was written in it. However, complex structure and appearance of other more profitable languages contributed to its finally perishing. Though studying Latin has the great meaning in research the history and Christian culture, it’s unnecessary for the government taking efforts to make Latin back to life because it’s was replaced by French and so, further, it’s not practical for the public nowadays. For those, being acquired by researchers who mean to study such certain culture is enough. Doomed to be extinct by the process of history, such language doesn’t worth, or even is unavailable, to survive by government efforts.

In the era of globalization, lesser-known language, one that presents cultural weak momentum, often has a weak financial background. As a result, improvement of the situation of lesser-known language often needs the economic support. Facing dilemma like this, taking actions to improve the financial situation rather than language condition may be more benefit. Research shows that most lesser-known languages exist in Africa and India, where the governments are baffled with the bad live condition and the problem of inadequate food. Under such circumstances, the wise action to keep the language, which at the same time keeps domestic culture, is to improve the further development of the nation and thus being able to offer economic aid for such measurement. Through deep analyze into the essence why some languages are getting lesser-known, a more complete solution should be provided before hasty taking actions to prevent the languages being extinct.

To sum up, concern about protecting language diversity is essential since it equals to culture diversity to some extent. However, government agencies must decide how best to use their limited resource to maximize profits or public welfare, no matter from material or cultural aspect. Thus, it’s not necessary for government to shoulder responsibilities to prevent every lesser-known language from becoming extinct.
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发表于 2009-6-10 15:47:14 |只看该作者
1# 蘅芜雪
A32批A13

Confronting with the situation that many lesser-known languages are extinct, some people insist that measurements should be taken to prevent such trend. Though languages partly represent humanity culture and history,(;) however, one should take tradeoffs when deciding whether to make efforts to keep such languages, that is, saving every extinct language is unnecessary for sometimes the value of them is not worth the effort.(没有点出你第四段的论点)
Language weighs much in the process of culture continuity and thus it has great value to be kept and researched. Language is such a mirror that reflects both the past and the future of the nation because it contains the history, from which the past development can be referred, and marks the characteristics, ones that can help to understand the current philosophy, (这句话插在这里不大通,放在后边吧)of the nationality. Archeologists of all time try to entangle some history puzzles not only by studying cultural relics, but also by some existing language treasures like folks, epics, written history and etc. Such function of representing culture and history is irreplaceable. That’s why oral history is treasured now because a language, if being extinct, takes not only a way of communication, but also the history and culture of a nationality away. To keep cultural pluralism in the era of globalization, it’s the responsibility offor吧) one government to keep its extinct language from disappearance.(不错不错)

Language functions most in process of communication and thus if such function is replaced well by others, it’s not always necessary to keep it alive. Cultures and languages, like species, conform to the nature law as well. As a result, some languages that were eliminated by such law because of their ill profitability didn’t worth the effort to save them.TS建议放在段首) Lain, for example, is such a language that was flourish in mid century and then was gradually extinct. It’s said that Latin was arequired course for students centuries ago because it was regarded as aristocratic language and authentic Bible was written in it. However, complex structure and appearance of other more profitable languages contributed to its finally perishing. Though studying Latin has the great meaning in researching the history and Christian culture, it’s unnecessary for the government takingto take efforts to make Latin back to life because it’s was replaced by French and so, further, it’s not practical for the public nowadays. For those, being acquired by researchers who mean to study such certain culture is enough. Doomed to be extinct by the process of history, such language doesn’t worth, or even is unavailable, to survive by government efforts.

In the era of globalization, lesser-known language, one that presents cultural weak momentum, often has a weak financial background. As a result, improvement of the situation of lesser-known language often needs the economic support. Facing dilemma like this, taking actions to improve the financial situation rather than language condition may be more benefit(这个词没有adj词性). Research shows that most lesser-known languages exist in Africa and India, where the governments are baffled with the bad liveliving condition and the problem of inadequate food. Under such circumstances, the wise action to keep the language, which at the same time keeps domestic culture, is to improve the further development of the nation and thus being able to offer economic aid for such measurement. Through deep analyzeanalyzing into the essence why some languages are getting lesser-known, a more complete solution should be provided before hasty taking actions to prevent the languages frombeing extinct.
To sum up, concern about protecting language diversity is essential since it equals to culture diversity to some extent. However, government agencies must decide how best to use their limited resource to maximize profits or public welfare, no matter from material or cultural aspect. Thus, it’s not necessary for government to shoulder responsibilities to prevent every lesser-known language from becoming extinct.(一个政府会面对every lesser-known …么?一般只会面对很少的几个,应该指出什么样的language不值得保护(虽然正文提及了),而什么样的值得保护)

总结感觉文章写的还是很好的,先介绍重要性,然后论证有些语言的自身缺陷导致不值得保护和在某些贫穷国家中政府更应该考虑经济的发展文章思路清晰,论证有力!

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板凳
发表于 2009-6-10 21:15:35 |只看该作者
A31小培批A13
Confronting with the situation that many lesser-known languages are extinct, some people insist that measurements should be taken to prevent such trend. Though languages partly represent humanity culture and history, however, one should take tradeoffs when deciding whether to make efforts to keep such languages, that is, saving every extinct language is unnecessary for sometimes the values of them are not worth the effort.(后面有提到政府,但手段提到的是个人)
Language weighs much in the process of culture continuity and thus it has great value to be kept and researched. Language is such a mirror that reflecting both the past and the future of the nation because it contains the history, from which the past development can be referred, and marks the characteristics, ones that can help to understand the current philosophy, of the nationality(这句话不太通顺吧). Archeologists of all time try to entangle some history puzzles not only by studying cultural relics, but also by some existing language treasures like folks, epics, written histories and etc. Such function of representing culture and history is irreplaceable. That’s why oral history is treasured now because a language, if being extinct, takes not only a way of communication, but also the history and culture of a nationality away. To keep cultural pluralism in the era of globalization, it’s the responsibility of one government to keep its extinct language from disappearance.(应为动词吧)
Language functions most in process of communication and thus if such function is replaced well by others, it’s not always necessary to keep it alive. (主题句吗)Cultures and languages, like species, conform to the nature law as well. As a result, some languages that were eliminated by such law because of their ill profitability didn’t worth the effort to save them. Lain, for example, is such a language that was flourish in mid century and then was gradually extinct. It’s said that Latin was a required course for students centuries ago because it was regarded as aristocratic language and authentic Bible was written in it. However, complex structure and appearance of other more profitable languages contributed to its finally perishing. Though studying Latin has the great meaning in researching the history and Christian culture, it’s unnecessary for the government taking(to take) efforts to make Latin back to(应为take back吧)life because it’s was replaced by French and so, further, it’s not practical for the public nowadays. For those, being acquired by researchers who mean to study such certain culture is enough. Doomed to be extinct by the process of history, such language doesn’t worth, or even is unavailable, to survive by government efforts(这句很漂亮).
In the era of globalization, lesser-known language, one that presents cultural weak momentum, often has a weak financial background. As a result, improvement of the situation of lesser-known language often needs the economic support. Facing dilemma like this, taking actions to improve the financial situation rather than language condition may be more beneficial. Research shows that most of lesser-known languages exist in Africa and India, where the governments are baffled with the bad live(living) condition and the problem of inadequate food. Under such circumstances, the wise action to keep the language, which at the same time keeps domestic culture, is to improve the further development of the nation and thus being able to offer economic aid for such measurement(句子写的过于复杂了). Through deep analyzing into the essence why some languages are getting lesser-known, a more complete solution(啥意思) should be provided before hasty taking actions to prevent the languages from being extinct.
To sum up, concern about protecting language diversity is essential since it equals to culture diversity to some extent. However, government agencies must decide how best(删去) to use their limited resource to maximize profits or public welfare, no matter from material or cultural aspect. Thus, it’s not necessary for government to shoulder responsibilities that preventing every lesser-known language from becoming extinct.

1.        第二段的主题句不明显
2.        让步也不是很明显
3.        楼主有些句子写得过于复杂了,影响理解

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RE: 0910AW 同主题写作第二期 ISSUE13 by galloper A13蘅芜雪 [修改]
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