0910AW 同主题写作第一期 ISSUE13 by xiayin

xiayinUID：2458839

TOPIC: ISSUE13 - "Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken



Conferences on languages at the brink of extinction are held intermittently, proposing that everyone is responsible for the loss of a fraction of civilization in the world.
Tired of jejune words, we should be rational aware of the situation on our languages so as to make a difference.

There are reasonable reasons for a language comes to an end. A language can be defined as endangered when fewer and fewer people speak or use them. The fading of a language, also a proportion of a culture, might be viewed as the victim of wars. It is common phenomenon in African zones where regional conflicts are always likely result in massacre. With the downfall of a region, a unique language disappeared without trace. Peace, seemingly the most important factor for the existence of a language, actually ranked after Culture. There are plenty of times when ancient China is invaded by minorities in the north. Mongollia and Nuzhen, for example are ambitious races who are eager to monitor the grand land of China. They did manage to overtake the throne of the king by force, however, the culture of Han, language included, was never eliminated. On the contrary, even the invaders can hardly deny the fancy of the original culture. A strong culture base is sufficient enough to guarantee the existence of the states’ tongue.


Globalization manifests itself as a killer of language nowadays. For the convenience of communication and understanding of each other, states make great efforts to adjust to the world, at the same time, frequently used languages, english ,are widely spread, mixing or even replacing the aboriginal ones. The same explanation for this phenomenon is stated. Culture, the base of the language, should be strong enough to ensure the inheritance.

What really matters is not the language itself but the culture it carries. Bearing this in mind, we no longer consider the scaring statistics as an alerting matter. Even if we wage large campaigns for the words we are not familiar and not interested, we can barely achieve a satisfactory of knowing a meaning of a symbol while losing the whole picture. What should be really emphasized is the literature and other meaningful carriers reflecting a special custom, thinking method of a culture.

The code of Hammurabi, known as the first written law found, is a heritage worth delving into. On the carved stone is a marginalized language called Akkadian, which is now still confined to scholars and priests working in temples. It can never come to your eyesight without The code of Hammurabi is found, and it indicates that it is the splendid culture in the language, rather than the language itself, is valuable to the world. The code, reflecting kings’ methods to rule the nation, is a well-preserved written the culture. Historians, archeologists and maybe some other researchers can reap a lot from it.

Eager as we are to protect our languages, no matter the governments or the grass-root organizations, it is more important to know what the stress is, comparatively. The answer is culture, a factor that really counts as for the diversity of the world, and of the history.

   

XOXLOLUID：2309408

Conferences on languages at the brink of extinction are held intermittently, proposing that everyone is responsible for the loss of a fraction of civilization in the world.
Tired of jejune words(这句什么意思？）, we should be rational（rationally) aware of the situation our languages so as to make a difference.

There are reasonable（两个reason，虽然词性不一但最好换个词吧） reasons for a language comes（coming) to an end. A language can be defined as endangered when fewer and fewer people speak or use them. The fading of a language, also a proportion of a culture, might be viewed as the victim of wars. It is common phenomenon in African zones where regional conflicts are always likely result in massacre. With the downfall of a region, a unique language disappeared without trace. Peace, seemingly the most important factor for the existence of a language, actually ranked after Culture. There are plenty of times when ancient China is(was) invaded by minorities in the north. Mongollia and Nuzhen, for example are ambitious races who are eager to monitor the grand land of China. They did manage to overtake the throne of the king by force, however, the culture of Han, language included, was never eliminated. On the contrary, even the invaders can hardly deny the fancy of the original culture. A strong culture base is sufficient enough to guarantee the existence of the states’ tongue.[peace & strong culture base 这两个提得很好，很original. 但是论证和论据之间注意下顺序和条理。］


Globalization manifests itself as a killer of language nowadays. For the convenience of communication and understanding of each other, states make great efforts to adjust to the world, at the same time, frequently used languages, english ,are（is) widely spread, mixing or even replacing the aboriginal ones. The same explanation for this phenomenon is stated. Culture, the base of the language, should be strong enough to ensure the inheritance.

What really matters is not the language itself but the culture it carries. Bearing this in mind, we no longer consider the scaring statistics as an alerting matter. Even if we wage large campaigns for the words we are not familiar and not interested, we can barely achieve a satisfactory of knowing a meaning of a symbol while losing the whole picture. What should be really emphasized is the literature and other meaningful carriers reflecting a special custom, thinking method of a culture.(好句！）

The code of Hammurabi, known as the first written law found, is a heritage worth delving into. On the carved stone is a marginalized language called Akkadian, which is now still confined to scholars and priests working in temples. It can never come to your eyesight without The code of Hammurabi is found, and it indicates that it is the splendid culture in the language, rather than the language itself, is valuable to the world. The code, reflecting kings’ methods to rule the nation, is a well-preserved written the culture. Historians, archeologists and maybe some other researchers can reap a lot from it.（这里突然给个例子有点奇怪）

Eager as we are to protect our languages, no matter the governments or the grass-root organizations, it is more important to know what the stress is, comparatively. The answer is culture, a factor that really counts as for the diversity of the world, and of the history.

dacongfanUID：2644717

Conferences on languages at the brink of extinction are held intermittently, proposing that everyone is responsible for the loss of a fraction of civilization in the world.
Tired of jejune words, we should be rational应该是rationally aware of the situation on our languages so as to make a difference.

There are reasonable reasons有重复的感觉，能不能换掉reasonable for a language comes to an end. A language can be defined as endangered when fewer and fewer people speak or use them. The fading of a language, also a proportion of a culture, might be viewed as the victim of wars. It is common phenomenon in African zones where regional conflicts are always likely result in 两个谓语的错误，are和result in massacre. With the downfall of a region, a unique language disappeared without trace. Peace, seemingly the most important factor for the existence of a language, actually ranked after Culture. There are plenty of times when ancient China is invaded by minorities in the north. Mongollia and Nuzhen, for example are ambitious races who are eager to monitor the grand land of China. 这句的时态是不是可以用过去式They did manage to overtake the throne of the king by force, however, the culture of Han, language included, was never eliminated. On the contrary, even the invaders can hardly deny the fancy of the original culture. A strong culture base is sufficient enough to guarantee the existence of the states’ tongue.


Globalization manifests itself as a killer of language nowadays. For the convenience of communication and understanding of each other, states make great efforts to adjust to the world, at the same time, frequently used languages, english ,are widely spread, mixing or even replacing the aboriginal ones. The same explanation for this phenomenon is stated. Culture, the base of the language, should be strong enough to ensure the inheritance.

What really matters is not the language itself but the culture it carries. Bearing this in mind, we no longer consider the scaring statistics as an alerting matter. Even if we wage large campaigns for the words we are not familiar and not interested, we can barely achieve a satisfactory of knowing a meaning of a symbol while losing the whole picture. What should be really emphasized is the literature and other meaningful carriers reflecting a special custom, thinking method of a culture.

The code of Hammurabi, known as the first written law found, is a heritage worth delving into. On the carved stone is a marginalized language called Akkadian, which is now still confined to scholars and priests working in temples. It can never come to your eyesight without The code of Hammurabi is found, and it indicates that it is the splendid culture in the language, rather than the language itself, is valuable to the world. The code, reflecting kings’ methods to rule the nation, is a well-preserved written the culture. Historians, archeologists and maybe some other researchers can reap a lot from it.

Eager as we are to protect our languages, no matter the governments or the grass-root organizations, it is more important to know what the stress is, comparatively. The answer is culture, a factor that really counts as for the diversity of the world, and of the history.
个人觉得楼主的文章结构不是特别的清晰。而且文中有不少的语法错误。看的出楼主很想试着去用一些高级的词汇，但是我个人觉得要在了解了这些词汇的用法之后才可以应用自如。建议楼主多看看economist等等的文章来加强语感。纯属个人建议，呵呵。

hahalalaUID：2613918

Conferences on languages at the brink of extinction are held intermittently, proposing that everyone is responsible for the loss of a fraction of civilization in the world.
Tired of jejune words, we should be rational aware of the situation on our languages so as to make a difference.
There are reasonable reasons for a language comes to an end. A language can be defined as endangered when fewer and fewer people speak or use them. The fading of a language, also a proportion of a culture, might be viewed as the victim of wars. It is common phenomenon in African zones where regional conflicts are always likely result in massacre. With the downfall of a region, a unique language disappeared without trace.
Peace, seemingly the most important factor for the existence of a language, actually ranked after Culture.There are plenty of times when ancient China is invaded by minorities in the north. Mongollia and Nuzhen, for example are ambitious races who are eager to monitor the grand land of China. They did manage to overtake the throne of the king(the throne 本意有王位的意思，可删掉of the king) by force, however, the culture of Han, language included, was never eliminated. On the contrary, even the invaders can hardly deny the fancy of the original culture. A strong culture base is sufficient enough to guarantee the existence of the states’ tongue.
Globalization manifests itself as a killer of language nowadays. For the convenience of communication and understanding of each other（建议改成in order to communicating with others more convenient）, states make great efforts to adjust to the world, at the same time, frequently used languages, english ,are widely spread, mixing or even replacing the aboriginal ones. The same explanation for this phenomenon is stated（这句话是不是改成it demonstrates that language ,as the carrier of culture, is greatly affected by culture as well更好一点？）. Culture, the base of the language, should be strong enough to ensure the inheritance.
What really matters is not the language itself but the culture it carries. Bearing this in mind, we no longer consider the scaring statistics as an alerting matter. ( 这句话我不太明白咩~) Even if we wage large campaigns for the words we are not familiar and not interested, we can barely achieve a satisfactory of knowing a meaning of a symbol while losing the whole picture. What should be really emphasized is the literature and other meaningful carriers reflecting a special custom, thinking method of a culture ( 棒！）.
The code of Hammurabi, known as the first written law found, is a heritage worth delving into. On the carved stone is a marginalized language called Akkadian, which is now still confined to scholars and priests working in temples. It can never come to your eyesight without The code of Hammurabi is found, and it indicates that it is the splendid culture in the language, rather than the language itself, is valuable to the world. The code, reflecting kings’ methods to rule the nation, is a well-preserved written the culture. Historians, archeologists and maybe some other researchers can reap a lot from it（这个例子挺好的~~但是我认为作为全文的一部分，你处理的不够好哦~，另外这么长一大段有充字数的嫌疑哦~）.
Eager as we are to protect our languages, no matter the governments or the grass-root organizations, it is more important to know what the stress is, comparatively. The answer is culture, a factor that really counts as for the diversity of the world, and of the history.

【茕茕改文心得】
首先，从文章中可以看出你的词汇量相当丰富，语言基础好~~我要向你学习~你也继续加油哦~
其次，个人认为本文的一大亮点是你用了整体观思考问题，注意到了语言和文化之间的重要联系，同时对这个问题的论证也较充分。
但是，我还认为有一点不足哦~文章结构应该再优化一下：
你提出There are reasonable reasons for a language comes to an end。然后举出了四点——越来越少的人使用、战争、文化、全球化，但是只重点论述了文化方面。建议可以采取以下结构：
1、越来越少人使用———从内在因素具体论证
2、战争———具体论证（也可以扩展到政治领域）
3、全球化———具体论证（不只是文化方面，还有经济、教育、政治等等）
简单论证完上述三点后，递进一下，谈文化对语言的重要性。。。

嗯嗯~~以上是我的个人看法，有不对的地方要告诉我啊~欢迎相互交流。。。https://bbs.gter.net/thread-959285-1-1.html
另外，由于前一段期末考试，没有及时看你的文章十分抱歉哈~