0910AW 同主题写作第一期 ISSUE13 by [ni]wshp90

wshp90UID：2509845

issue第一篇也来了哦！  恳请牛人多多指教噢！！！

ISSUE 13
Many of the world's lesser-known language are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.


For the first, languages are not only the methods of communication but primary expressions of esthetic cultures and intangible culture heritage, also the identifying of individuals and groups. Languages all appear after a long term of evolution and long generations' wisdom gather together. It is enormous and hard course. Thus, obviously, immeasurable expenditure and human ingenuity will be saved by virtue of maintain the already existing languages rather than recreate one. So we can easily draw a conclusion that maintaining a language is the best way to save Explicit costs and Implicit costs.
Then, in the realm of culture, language is in a vital position for the following presentation. Each language is a unduplicated expression of overt intelligence gathering. The extinction always results in the irrecoverable loss of unique cultural, historical and ecological knowledge. In another word, it can be foreseen that if only one language is used on the whole earth, it will be disastrous to the language of cultural heritage. For instance, there will leave less evidence to understanding the original patterns of structure and function of human language and human prehistory as well as a loss of ethnic indentify.
In view of such serious situation the endangered languages have been encountered, simply put, the central government should be responsible for the direction and supervision of public affairs including this issue. First of all, let's see why languages, especially for the lesser-known ones, have to fight for retaining? The situations maybe caused by external forces such as military, economic, religious, and cultural or education subjugation. For example, the vehement esthetic conflict between Nazi Germany and Jews. The Jewish language almost disappeared along with Jewish Holocaust. This language might only be used by the Holocaust survivors and the situation can be more terrible because those survivors are too fear to use it. Another piece, the sectarian violence in India, Hindu extremists attacking Moslems, which can often seen in many movie works. On the other hand, it may also be caused by internal forces, such as a community's negative attitude towards its own language. Besides, the lesser-known language extinguishing simply due to the number of the user is too small, such as Icelandic etc. Finally, driven by fierce globalization, the disappearance of lesser-spoken language is speeding up at astonishing speed.
To sum up, suitable measures should be taken to stop language globalization and the final beneficiaries are not only the local government or the indigenous people but also the whole Intangible Heritage of Humanity. It calls stronger controls over protect the national language for the government and more serious punishment for the indigenous people who discard their own language.

echo0805UID：2646075

For the first, languages are not only the methods of communication but primary expressions of esthetic cultures and intangible culture heritage, also the identifying of individuals and groups. Languages all appear after a long term of evolution and long generations' wisdom gather together. It is enormous and hard course. Thus, obviously, immeasurable expenditure and human ingenuity will be saved by virtue of maintain the already existing languages rather than recreate one. So we can easily draw a conclusion that maintaining a language is the best way to save Explicit costs and Implicit costs.
（一般第一段只要把你的主要观点提出，再把以下各个段落的主题句概括一下就可以。你这一段话中心思想不是很明确。也有点太发散了，概括性不强。简洁一点比较好）
Then, in the realm of culture, language is in a vital position for the following presentation. Each language is a unduplicated expression of overt intelligence gathering. The extinction always results in the irrecoverable loss of unique cultural, historical and ecological knowledge. In another word, it can be foreseen that if only one language is used on the whole earth, it will be disastrous to the language of cultural heritage. For instance, there will leave less evidence to understanding the original patterns of structure and function of human language and human prehistory as well as a loss of ethnic indentify. （这一段比较集中论述，但是不够深入，字数才100字，听前辈们说，每一段都要有200字以上是比较好的。个人观点哈）
In view of such serious situation the endangered languages have been encountered, simply put, the central government should be responsible for the direction and supervision of public affairs including this issue. First of all, let's see why languages, especially for the lesser-known ones, have to fight for retaining? The situations maybe caused by external forces such as military, economic, religious, and cultural or education subjugation. For example, the vehement esthetic conflict between Nazi Germany and Jews. The Jewish language almost disappeared along with Jewish Holocaust. This language might only be used by the Holocaust survivors and the situation can be more terrible because those survivors are too fear to use it. Another piece, the sectarian violence in India, Hindu extremists attacking Moslems, which can often (be)seen in many movie works. On the other hand, it may also be caused by internal forces, such as a community's negative attitude towards its own language. Besides, the lesser-known language extinguishing simply due to the number of the user is too small, such as Icelandic etc. Finally, driven by fierce globalization, the disappearance of lesser-spoken language is speeding up at astonishing speed.（这一段的中心是什么？开始时说政府应该负责，后面你论述的举例的是导致语言消失的原因，建议一个段落只论述一个主题，集中论述才更有说服力）
To sum up, suitable measures should be taken to stop language globalization and the final beneficiaries are not only the local government or the indigenous people but also the whole Intangible Heritage of Humanity. It calls stronger controls over protect the national language for the government and more serious punishment for the indigenous people who discard their own language.（要惩罚不使用本土语言的吗？我怎么觉得不通啊，大家都有使用某种语言的权利啊，只能说是倡导大家用吧，惩罚太过了吧，嘿嘿）
(总体来说，语言流畅，用词多样，值得我学习，但是感觉逻辑关系不是很清晰，比较中文式的思路。每个段落里的主题不明确，这个据新东方老师说是很重要的。呵呵，水平有限，说的不好的地方望海涵！加油:loveliness:)