0910G 同主题写作第7期 Argument101/Issue221 NLT小组 第一次修改后 By TIGER

wjldmjUID: 2632023

221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."

From the statement , we can be informed that the speaker holds the viewpoint that people in different historical period are similar . I admit that people in various historical period are more or less the same especially in human nature , and there is great benefit to know ourselves to study history . However, I contend more compared just finding the similarity of human by the study of history , that we can also acknowledge our differences from evolving and processing of civilization , which can be at least the same beneficial .
And what is more , not only to know human themselves, but also , studying history brings other significant benefits as well .

First of all , studying history can lead us to the parallels of human beings from past to nowadays . Some certain of problems currently ,even different in level and style from history, however , are more or less the repeating to itself ,such as the pursuit and dispute of equality , contention of politics, wars and the dynasty subrogation .By studying these , we learn that basic of human nature --our desire and motive ,as well as indulgence and introspection --has presenting alike over centuries . Further more ,through learning ourselves deep , we can deal with problems more wisely and effectively. For example , from the history , we are warned that simple communism is certain of idealize and it is fool to found this kind of society right now , due to the human nature , has its aspect of greed and selfishness , which we have to accept and acknowledge. And also , the history teach us that it is inexpedient to attempt to legislate morality ,because human nature resist having their moral choice forced upon them ,or there will be arising the familiar appeal
that " human rights and freedom are suffering downtrodden".

However , we have to acknowledge that human beings and their society are in evolving and changing by reanalyzing our history . The living conditions , individual values, cultures ,the main problems and challenges of society are dramatically different among different historic periods . For a instance ,comparing by fighting against slavery hundreds years ago ,the purpose that we pursuit human rights are distinct nowadays , it is conceivable context that several sociology experts and education experts are sitting together , discussing if the education in university should be free or not . In addition , From researching the history , and the differences ,we learn what is right to do ,so that we change and improve our living conditions .For example , we found country leaders before World War Two thought about more the defense policies and military strategies by researching World War One . Nevertheless, the thing that human beings thought more nowadays is about how to reduce the storing for wars as least the deadly weapons and keep a world-wide harmony by reading the wars before .

What's more , we can not ignore that excepting for just knowing what human beings are ,the likeness and the differences ,we get the significantly precious scientific and knowledge wealth ,by the study of history . For example ,disease record are researched to be used to deal with the similar varieties. Crimes record are also beneficial for psychology . Ecologist are tending to research the fossil ,then to notice us what is the most important in protecting our living environment and resisting disaster by the simulation of history . No one can deny these benefits are also noteworthy by the study of history .

In conclusion ,history is like a magic mirror ,we can know ourselves by studying our yesterday. However, fortunately , we can also see our improvement . Both the similarity and evolvement are beneficial ,admonishing us and encouraging us respectively . In addition, the history provides us with precious knowledge and culture heritage ,waiting us to study more ,and learn more.


101
The following appeared in a memo from the president of a company that makes breakfast cereals.

In a recent study, subjects who ate soybeans at least five times per week had significantly lower cholesterol levels than subjects who ate no soy products. By fortifying our Wheat-O cereal with soy protein, we can increase sales by appealing to additional consumers who are concerned about their health. This new version of Wheat-O should increase company profits and, at the same time, improve the health of our customers.

In this argument , the author cited a recent study presenting that the people who ate soybeans more than five times every week shown considerable lower cholesterol levels than that have no soy products . Then author advises that their breakfast cereal Wheat-O should be improved with soy protein , due to the reason that they can rise their sales from the potential customers who care more about their health . And finally , the author makes the conclusion that the new type of Wheat-O would raise their business profit ,and be benefit for their customers' health as well . However, this argument is unconvincing because it suffers from several critical flaws in logic .

To begin with , the study cited by the author shows that people ate soybeans had lower cholesterol levels that that ate no soy products , however , even to presume that the source and the statistics of this survey is authentic , there is yet no direct evidence to prove that these people with lower cholesterol levels is just because they ate soy , and that who has high level of cholesterol attributing to ate no soy products .There is possibility that the subjects who had lower level of cholesterol is because their better physical condition ,or age ,or other reasons but not eating soybeans. Without presenting detailed and direct evidences to show the linkage between decreasing cholesterol levels and eating soybeans, the argument fails to convince from its basis .

Further more, even to admit that eating soybeans has its benefit in decreasing cholesterol levels , nevertheless, what the ingredient that the author advises to use for fortifying their products is soy protein . Firstly , no evidences is presented to prove that the soy protein has the same effect in benefiting people 's health , the natural foods may have the noteworthy differences with artifical foods. Secondly ,because the new ingredient may be neutralized by some other components of Wheat-O ,so the new products may not as salutary as soybeans . Without deep and strict research for soy proteins and its final effect as being the ingredient in Wheat-O , the author's statement is suffering fallacies in reasoning and not logical .

Finally, to say on the side of business,
the author contends that the new type of food will increase their sales ,as well as company profits , which looks like personal opinion without sufficient market research and rational analyzing . There is the possibility that the main customers of Wheal-O focus mostly on the taste of this products ,not the effect in health , so that the new type of Wheal-O may also suffering the risk of sales decreasing . In addition , to add soybean proteins into Wheal-O will inevitably increase the cost of the product , so now no reasons from this argument can show that the profit of the company will be increased from the new type of products. All these two statements in business field from this argument is not convincing due to the lack of market research and strict analysis .

To sum up , the author fails to address several weak areas that lead to a unconvincing conclusion . To strengthen the argument , not only direct evidence should be presented to show that the Wheal-O with the ingredient -soy protein will be helpful in decreasing the cholesterol level of people and finally be beneficial in health , but also market research and rational analysis should be cited to prove that the new product will increase the sales as well as the profits of the company .

liuyigongUID: 2591358

首先发上argument的修改

liuyigongUID: 2591358

这个是issue的修改，关于你的最后一个论点我总是觉得有点牵强，所以写进去了，建议你可以看看同主题里对于study of history的解释。