TOEFL暑期集结号作文 第1次作业 by 出来吧葡萄

出来吧葡萄UID: 2658129

Do you agree or disagree? Playing computer games is wasting time; children should not be allowed to play them.
1.确实有很多儿童因为玩电脑游戏而荒废学习,但并不一定归咎于电脑游戏本身。
2.客观地说，电脑游戏可以训练儿童的反应能力，思维能力。通过协调游戏和学习的关系，甚至可以锻炼自制力。
3.儿童的自我约束力比较弱，需要家长社会的协调限制。只要得到较好的掌控，限制未成年儿童玩过于暴力的游戏，适当的游戏对儿童是有好处的。

There is usually a social contradiction towards computer games, especially on the topic whether children should be allowed to play them. From my viewpoint, though it has indeed brought about disadvantages, computer games should not be totally restricted for children.

Admittedly, with the increasing development of computer games, a serious social problem comes into our sight. Many children indulge themselves in the games thus waste a lot of time, resulting in the failing away in study and even getting out of the normal life. There are also adolescents who imitate the plot in the games to apply some violate actions in their real lives, of course leading to much hurts to others.

By considering these cases, it might be necessary to prevent children from playing computer games. However, when we take a further consideration about this issue, it is not all that difficult to find that not all children are controlled by games; there indeed exist ones who study and live well while being kind of experts in plying games. What we need to take into account is whether the computer game is the only factor that is responsible for those children's obviation.

Objectively speaking, PC games are of certain advantages which might be applied to stimulate children's particular skills. For example, teamwork is sometimes required in playing games. And making decisions is also an essential factor in playing some strategy games. By cooperating with others or generating strategies, children would actually improve their abilities in these realms. And others capabilities such as rapid response and balanced capacity would also benefit the play's participants. Furthermore, children could even develop their self discipline by coordinate between studying and gaming.

Thus, the attention of the parents or the whole society should be put much more on the regulation of the children, conducting them in a proper way to contact PC games. Of course for those violate ones, entire restriction is obviously necessary. It might be kept in mind that conduction is a favorable way to solve such a social problem concerning children or adolescents.

Simply put, children should not be prevented from playing PC games. While properly instructed, they could obtain special benefits whey they enjoy their spare time sitting at the computers.

asn_12UID: 2583270

Do you agree or disagree? Playing computer games is wasting time; children should not be allowed to play them.
1.确实有很多儿童因为玩电脑游戏而荒废学习,但并不一定归咎于电脑游戏本身。; N( H% q7 }; [( n
2.客观地说，电脑游戏可以训练儿童的反应能力，思维能力。通过协调游戏和学习的关系，甚至可以锻炼自制力。
3.儿童的自我约束力比较弱，需要家长社会的协调限制。只要得到较好的掌控，限制未成年儿童玩过于暴力的游戏，适当的游戏对儿童是有好处的。# d9 e+ ]; ~' G7 ?3 U6 y" ?2 R
5 M6 Z" n! ^9 J" j& ?% C- n& Q
There is usually a social contradiction towards computer games, especially on the topic whether children should be allowed to play them. From my viewpoint, though it has indeed brought about disadvantages, computer games should not be totally restricted for children.
1、about改为some应该比较好吧
2、restrict for不好，首先没有这个搭配，应该是restrict to，而且restrict是限制而不是禁止，你应该表达的禁止的意思吧
3、没有完全点题，问的是玩游戏是浪费时间，儿童应该被禁止对吧？
Admittedly, with the increasing development of computer games, a serious social problem comes into our sight. Many children indulge themselves in the games thus waste a lot of time加个which会比较好吧 resulting in the failing away in study and even getting out of the normal life. There are also adolescents who imitate the plot in the games to apply some violate actions in their real lives, of course leading to much hurts to others.
1、thus改为and then感觉会较好，有些递进的意思
2、result in failure in study
3、even getting out of the normal life不太明白
4、个人感觉如果把这个作为论据的话，游戏就真的不能玩了。
By considering these cases, it might be necessary to prevent children from playing computer games. However, when we take a further consideration about this issue, it is not all that 删掉difficult to find 加out that not all children are controlled by games我不清楚这种用法是否地道; there indeed exist ones who study and live well while being kind of experts in plying games. What we need to take into account is whether the computer game is the only factor that is responsible for those children's obviation.
1、there are also some children have not disturbed by computer games, what's more, they can not only playing as an expert, but also do well in normal study
Objectively speaking, PC games不清楚能否这样表达cyber games可以表示电子游戏电子竞技，也可以表达游戏 are of certain advantages which might be applied to stimulate children's particular skills. For example, teamwork is sometimes required in playing games. And making decisions is also an essential factor in playing some strategy games. By cooperating with others or generating strategies, children would actually improve their abilities in these realms我才你想表达的是对以后的好处而不是仅仅在游戏领域里吧？. And others capabilities such as rapid response and balanced capacity would also benefit the play's participants. Furthermore, children could even develop their self discipline by coordinate between studying and gaming.

Thus, the attention of the parents or the whole society should be put much more on the regulation of the children, conducting them in a proper way to contact PC games. Of course for those violate ones, entire restriction is obviously necessary. It might be kept in mind that conduction is a favorable way to solve such a social problem concerning children or adolescents.
k
keep就好
9 [" i" B3 P+ A1 |  n$ c) Y
Simply put, children should not be prevented from playing PC games. While properly instructed, they could obtain special benefits whey they enjoy their spare time sitting at the computers.
楼主遗漏了一个大问题，就是Do you agree or disagree? Playing computer games is wasting time。因为你一直在讨论应该怎样对待儿童玩游戏的问题
以上仅是我的看法，因为我的水平也有限，所以还请你辩证的参考，另外如果我说的比较直，还请葡萄同学见谅

thatllUID: 2538832

Do you agree or disagree? Playing computer games is wasting time; children should not be allowed to play them.
1.确实有很多儿童因为玩电脑游戏而荒废学习,但并不一定归咎于电脑游戏本身。
2.客观地说，电脑游戏可以训练儿童的反应能力，思维能力。通过协调游戏和学习的关系，甚至可以锻炼自制力。
3.儿童的自我约束力比较弱，需要家长社会的协调限制。只要得到较好的掌控，限制未成年儿童玩过于暴力的游戏，适当的游戏对儿童是有好处的。

There is usually a social contradiction towards computer games, especially on the topic whether children should be allowed to play them. From my viewpoint, though it has indeed brought about disadvantages, computer games should not be totally restricted for children.

• 这个观点会不会有偏题之嫌？没有回答是否wasting time这个问题哎。

Admittedly, with the increasing development of computer games, a serious social problem comes into our sight. Many children indulge themselves in the games thus waste a lot of time, resulting in the failing away in study and even getting out of the normal life. There are also adolescents who imitate the plot in the games to apply some violate actions in their real lives, of course leading to much hurts to others.

• 有fall away这个说法么？是不是fall behind啊。
• get out of？
• 1.  Emerge or escape from, as in I hate to get out of bed on cold mornings or He'll be lucky to get out of this mess.
• 2.  Go beyond, as in The cat had climbed into the tree; she'd gotten well out of my reach.
• 3.  Evade or avoid, as in He tried to get out of answering their questions, or Please get out of the way so we can pass.
• 4.  Elicit or draw out something from someone. For example, I can't get a straight answer out of him, or Getting a contribution out of her is like pulling teeth.
• 5.  Get rid of something, remove, as in Get these cats out of the house, or I can't get this melody out of my head.
• 6.  Extract from, obtain from. For example, You can get a lot of juice out of these oranges, or She got little or nothing out of this investment. It is also put as get the most out of, meaning "use to the greatest advantage," as in He gets the most out of his staff.

By considering these cases, it might be necessary to prevent children from playing computer games. However, when we take a further consideration about this issue, it is not all that difficult to find that not all children are controlled by games; there indeed exist ones who study and live well while being kind of experts in plying games. What we need to take into account is whether the computer game is the only factor that is responsible for those children's obviation.

• 这一段我觉得你最后应该具体道破说明还有什么因素，不能把问题丢给读者，那样才能更好的说明这个确实不应该是游戏本身的错。
  

Objectively speaking, PC games are of certain advantages which might be applied to stimulate children's particular skills. For example, teamwork is sometimes required in playing games. And making decisions is also an essential factor in playing some strategy games. By cooperating with others or generating strategies, children would actually improve their abilities in these realms. And others capabilities such as rapid response and balanced capacity would also benefit the play's participants. Furthermore, children could even develop their self discipline by coordinate between studying and gaming.

Thus, the attention of the parents or the whole society should be put much more on the regulation of the children, conducting them in a proper way to contact PC games. Of course for those violate ones, entire restriction is obviously necessary. It might be kept in mind that conduction is a favorable way to solve such a social problem concerning children or adolescents.

Simply put, children should not be prevented from playing PC games. While properly instructed, they could obtain special benefits whey they enjoy their spare time sitting at the computers.

注：本文很大的一个问题就是完全忽视了题目中的第一问，那就是游戏是否浪费时间?

zongwwwUID: 2330777

我也觉着你的waste time没写，有点偏

出来吧葡萄UID: 2658129

2# asn_12
修改很认真，谢谢
那个be kept是被动语态

出来吧葡萄UID: 2658129

3# thatll
很有用的意见，谢谢
那个是fail away，不是fall away

出来吧葡萄UID: 2658129

4# zongwww
谢谢你的修改，关于思路的意见很好，很受用。我一直在用灵格斯，但是感觉很多词很网络，不敢用

DriftKingUID: 2664045

帮顶