[YB-1]7月9日作业 by3071001007 第一次写，还望大家给点意见

3071001007UID: 2662009

第一段简单复述一下材料的内容，简单指出错误。
第二段针对全国性调查展开，指出全国性调查不应简单的替代地方的情况，并对调查的权威性提出质疑。之后让步假设调查结论适用于地方，指出其与自己种植蔬菜人数的增长也不构成简单的因果关系。
第三段针对杂志热卖提出质疑，不多说了。
第四段对作者提出的增加所卖种子种类的意见提出质疑，写的比较少。
最后一段总结一下
感觉像是高考作文加长版，语句太弱智了，可能以后要多背点东西。字数也不太够。个人的第二篇A，第一次发上来，反正大家狠拍就是。


TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
WORDS: 376
TIME: 02:11:40
DATE: 2009/7/9 22:53:35

In the memo, the author take it granted that the local consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables, and suggest that the Green Thumb Gardening Center increase their vegetable seeds store to meet the need. It is obvious that the author make some mistakes in the argument, and the suggestion is also lack of powerful evidence.

Firstly, the national survey was used to indicate that the consumers are not satisfied with the available vegetables. It's obviously lack of persuasion to fit the whole nation's situation into the local town, let alone we still not aware of the authoritativeness of the survey. Let's suppose that the survey is objective and also suit the situation in the local town, it will also not necessarily lead to an increase of the seed saling, because not all the family have the condition to plant vegetables. To make the center believe it, the author need to provide more specific evidence to convince them.

Secondly, the author mentioned the increasing saling of Great Gardens magazine to prove that the consumers show a lot of interests in planting vegetables by their own. There may be some useful information about vegetable planting, but how do we know that the buyers are all interested in this part. There maybe some other reasons why they buy the magazine, such as prize-giving sales, or other attractive sections. To say the least, if all the costumers are interested in planting their own vegetables, we all know that interest does not necessarily lead to action, whether the seeds will be sold well is still hang in doubt.

The arguer also make a mistake that he takes it granted the Center have to stock more kinds of seeds to meet the need, but he has no evidence to prove that the consumers need all kinds of seeds. Actually we only eat some certain kinds of vegetable in our life, so it hard to say that all kinds of vegetable seeds will sell well.

To sum up the point of views mentioned above, we have to say that the author make an immature suggestion, and it needs to proven by more logical examples and argues that the consumers raelly have a increasing need for vegetable seeds.

3071001007UID: 2662009

顶顶

gig927UID: 2556746

In the memo, the author take it granted that the local consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables, and suggest that the Green Thumb Gardening Center (can)increase their vegetable seeds store to meet the need. It is obvious that the author make（makes） some mistakes in the argument, and the suggestion is also lack of powerful evidence.

Firstly, the national survey was used to indicate that the consumers are not satisfied with the available vegetables. It's obviously lack of persuasion to fit the whole nation's situation into the local town, let alone we still not aware of the authoritativeness of the survey. Let's suppose that the survey is objective and also suit the situation in （of）the local town, it will also not necessarily lead to an increase of the seed saling（sale）, because not all the family have the condition to plant vegetables. To make the center believe it, the author need（needs） to provide more specific evidence to convince them.

Secondly, the author mentioned the increasing saling （sale）of Great Gardens magazine to prove that the consumers show a lot of interests in planting vegetables by their own. There may be some useful information about vegetable planting, but how do we know that the buyers are all interested in this part. There maybe some other reasons why they buy the magazine, such as prize-giving （我查到的这个词意思是学校的颁奖？这里是不是不恰当？）sales, or other attractive sections. To say the least, if all the costumers（consumers） are interested in planting their own vegetables, we all know that interest does not necessarily lead to action, whether the seeds will be sold well is still hang in doubt.（从To开始的这句话有问题，if和后面貌似没找到如果。。应该。。的关系，而且whether后面那句话应该用，and whether连接起来）

The arguer also make a mistake that he takes it granted the Center have to stock more kinds of seeds to meet the need, but he has no evidence to prove that the consumers need all kinds of seeds. Actually we only eat some certain kinds of vegetable in our life, so it hard to say that all kinds of vegetable seeds will sell well.

To sum up the point of views mentioned above, we have to say that the author make an immature suggestion, and it needs to （加个be）proven by more logical examples and argues that the consumers raelly （really）have a increasing need for vegetable seeds.

作者整体论证思路还是很不错的，写完后最好自己贴到WORD中先进行一番修改，这样可以避免以后自己打字时出现的很多错误