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发表于 2010-10-8 23:18:29 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
处女作,大家狠拍

1008Has Technology made children less creative than they were in the past 080504

The enormous influence of the technology put on the education is inevitable and obvious in most of the aspects. However, as it comes to its affect on the development of the creativity of children, educators have not reached a consensus. From my point of view, despite of some shortcomings, when used properly, technology benefits the creativity essentially from a dialectical perspective.

First, technology provides an important access to creation and facilitates it to come true. Technology for us is what sword for our ancestor, which actually is no more than a tool. A sword would not prevent the primitive from forging sharper sword or inventing guns, while technology is that helps people realize their aspiration. Was there no technology of inner combustion machine how could we imagine that Wright Brothers could sour under the sky and make a symbolized breakthrough in the history of mechanism? Especially, in the modern society, when simple creation has been rare and most of the creation requires a deep understand of the former technology, technology has gained more necessity.

Additionally, latest technology always serves as an aspiration for original idea. We need go further than the popular words "Namo Tech". a couple years ago, it was still a new technological term, which however has served as a basic material for the inventors to create a myriad of new products in almost all realms of our life, like Namo brush, Namo clothes or even name denture. Viewed in this fashion, no one could deny the importance of technology for creation.

While, we could not lose sight of the fact that misusing some kinds of technology would really damage our creativity especially our children from a laziness . In Japan, children in primary school are not allowed to use calculators in preventing a loss of mental vitality. Certain software such as CATIA or UG, would make the design of a machine more conveniently and quickly, however it always follow the procedure and best design would never come out of that constant program. People should always use their brains to solve problems in spite of submitting to the computer.

In sum, although technology sometimes would offer us a way to shirk contemplation by ourselves, its benefits actually outweigh the imperfection. Educator should concentrate more on how to make the most of it to cultivate the creativity of our children instead of banning it presumptuously.
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IBT Zeal

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发表于 2010-10-11 00:56:56 |只看该作者
1# zhaoding1014

1008 Has Technology made children less creative than they were in the past 080504 & V6 J- X' W/ g. l1 h2 V

The enormous influence of the technology put on the education is inevitable and obvious in most of the aspects觉得这句话头重脚轻的感觉呢~. However, as it comes to its affect on the development of the creativity of children, educators have not reached a consensus. From my point of view, despite of some shortcomings, when used properly, technology benefits the creativity essentially from a dialectical perspective.这句不错

First, technology provides an important access to creation and facilitates it to come true(没看懂是啥成分0 0). Technology for(to) us is what sword for(to) our ancestor后面两句和这句的内在联系我貌似没大懂啊 which actually is no more than a tool. A sword would not prevent the primitive from forging sharper sword or inventing guns这句是贬义?, while technology is that helps people realize their aspiration这句是褒义?(前面比喻是类比,这个变对比了吗?我没大看明白). Was there no technology of inner combustion machine how could we imagine that Wright Brothers could sour under the sky and make a symbolized breakthrough in the history of mechanism? Especially, in the modern society, when simple creation has been rare and most of the creation requires a deep understanding of the former technology, technology has gained more necessity.后面的论述比较有说服力

Additionally, latest technology always serves as an aspiration for original idea. We need go further than the popular words "Namo Tech". a couple years ago, it was still a new technological term, which however has served as a basic material for the inventors to create a myriad of new products in almost all realms of our life, like Namo brush, Namo clothes or even name denture. Viewed in this fashion, no one could deny the importance of technology for creation.觉得说的挺好的,就是没带上children! p# b+ E% @7 N1 h- t

While, we could not lose sight of the fact that misusing some kinds of technology would really damage our creativity especially our children from a laziness . In Japan, children in primary school are not allowed to use calculators in preventing a loss of mental vitality. Certain software such as CATIA or UG, would make the design of a machine more conveniently and quickly, however it always follow the procedure and( thus转折下) best design would never come out of that constant program. People should always use their brains to solve problems in spite of submitting to the computer.4 A& T, x( b- H& {; X& m- s

In sum, although technology sometimes would offer us a way to shirk contemplation by ourselves, its benefits actually outweigh the imperfection. Educator should concentrate more on how to make the most of it to cultivate the creativity of our children instead of banning it presumptuously.

句式很好,用词也丰富多变~
但是觉得例证没有特别紧扣题目,貌似论述了很多科技好处,论述的也很好,但是和孩子的关联有点小,和过去的对比有点少~

8日的作文后来你和我补分一组了,期待回改~
dreams never fade

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板凳
发表于 2010-10-11 07:29:37 |只看该作者
这两天在赶一个教授的COVER LETTER,晚上前一定认真修改你的作文。再次表示感谢!! 2# S酱

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地板
发表于 2010-10-11 23:59:13 |只看该作者

自己按各路专家又进行修改的。。。

本帖最后由 zhaoding1014 于 2010-10-12 00:14 编辑

Has Technology made children less creative than they were in the past


No one could deny the enormous influence of the technology put on the education, which is inevitable and obvious
in modern society. However, as it comes to its affect on the development of the creativity of children, educators have not reached a consensus. From my point of view, despite of some shortcomings, when used properly, technology benefits the creativity essentially from a dialectical perspective.


First, technology provides an important access to creation and facilitates our dream to come true, which is essential to cultivate and maintain children’s creativity. Technology to us is what sword to our ancestor.. The advent of sword had not fostered the laziness of creating, quite the opposite, it encourage the primitive to make best of it and even invent the gun later. Under the assistance of technology, humans could test and develop their original idea. Was there no technology of inner combustion engine how could we imagine that Wright Brothers could soar under the sky and make a monumental breakthrough in the history of mechanism? Especially, in the modern society, when simple creation has been rare and most of the creation requires a deep insight of the related technology, technology has gained more necessity.

Additionally, latest technology always serves as an inspiration for original idea for the young. We need go no further than the prevalent term "Nano Tech". A couple years ago, it was still a new scientific terminology, which however has served as a basis for the inventors to create a myriad of new products in almost all aspects of our life, like Nano brush, Nano clothes or even a Nano denture. Viewed in this fashion, no one could deny the importance of technology for creation.

While, we could not lose sight of the fact that misusing some kinds of technology would really damage our creativity especially our children from the lazinessto think.
When I studied in university, certain software, like CATIA or UG, would make the design process very convenient and quick. However, such software blocks us to build models in our brain and try to solve problems in a creative way. Besides, best design would never be calculated by lines of stereotyped program. In Japan, children in primary school are even not allowed to use calculators in preventing a loss of mental vitality. Tools designed to help our children to ‘think’, would definitely jeopardize them in forging creativity.


In sum, although technology sometimes would offer us a way to shirk contemplation, its benefits actually outweigh the imperfection. Educator should concentrate more on how to make the most of the technology to cultivate the creativity of our children instead of banning it presumptuously.



自评:
“写作不COHERENTLY,用词不ACCURATELY!”下次写时首先要注意审题,各段各句要有明显的逻辑联接。TS要明显扣题!

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发表于 2010-10-12 00:00:27 |只看该作者
1009Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is a waste of time and money because customers already know what they want.


As for a kind of media, no invention has ever received more praise and abuse than advertisement. When it comes to the value of the advertisement, there is no consensus among the mass depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern. Does advertising only waste our time, for we seem to know what we want and where to purchase them? From my point of view, despite of some negative cases, advertisement benefits not only the merchants but also the consumers and even the whole country sometimes.


First of all, advertisements offer us a convenient access to the product we need. An advertisement for the customer is what a window to a house. From this open window, products could be introduced and understood by the people much more quickly and easily than before. What is more, in the modern society when the internet is so universal all round the world,. precise advertisements are of more necessity to direct us which product to choose. Were there no things like advertisement, how could we imagine ‘Ebay’ or ‘Amazon’ could come into being?


The advertising also assists the merchants to gain reputation of the brands and augments the profit ever since it emerged. A good advertisement could demonstrate a company’s financial strength and credit ratings which is highly related to the profit. A Taiwan company had used to invite Baizhi Zhang as their spokesperson. However, when ‘Yanzhao Gate’, a scandal of Zhang, happened, the company suffered a serious economic losses and had to rehire Taiwan famous model ‘Gig S’ as the new spokesperson to retrieve the loss.


The advertisement also serves as an essential part of the chain in business operation. By selling the advertisement fees, governments or companies could earn money to do organize greater events and eventually benefit the people and develop the economy. We need to go no further than the Olympic game. It used to be an event that no country wanted to hold, because it would cost a huge amount of money. However, since 1896, after Peter Ueberroth introduced the advertisement to the game, it has developed one of the most profitable businesses in the world. In this way, events like the ‘Shanghai Expo’ or some philanthropy could go smoothly which brings more impressive moments to our life.


In sum, although sometimes over-exaggerated and false advertising misleads us and illegal virtuous advertising campaign hurts the interest of the consumers as well as the companies, advertising, which offers information for the customers and helps the qualified company stand out, actually plays a pushing role in a market economy by all means. As everything is a double-edge sword, advertising is no exception. What we should focus now is how to regulate the way we use it.

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发表于 2010-10-12 11:41:09 |只看该作者
1011 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life.

From ancient Olympics to modern competitions, from the NBA court to our backyard play, sports have never failed to fascinate us and arouse passion. People speak that sports could bring vitality to their bodies and maintain them in the best state. However, I say, sports act more than a game, but lessons teaching people about life.

The ‘first lesson’ of sports is the courage to face the challenge in competitions. As the Olympic motto goes, competitors should always pursue a ‘higher, stronger and swifter’ results. In the practice, we try our best to make every movement is precise and scientific, while in the competition, we spare no effort to defeat the counterparts and win. Were there no sports in this world, I could not imagine how the life could have so much passion. Just as Maradonainstructed his team is this year’s World Cup: ‘Sweat of twenty days brings you the glory of a whole life.’

Second, no one could deny that almost all the success in sports relies on a good teamwork. Sports teach us that, to win a game, we should trust our teammates, protest and make chance for them as well as make sure that everyone could do its best. Remember even Jordan could not gain the championship ring unless Pippen and other excellent team members joined. Deep down, even some sports which seems only concerning the sportsman itself, have to thank to the whole team, including the coach and assistants. For instance, the success of Liu Xiang, the first Asian who wins the Men’s 110 Race, represents not only his talent and hardworking, but also the accumulation of generations of struggling for this medal.

Sometimes, sports teach us something beyond the sports itself, but about spirit like respect, integrity or human right. To those who have lagged behind far away but still persist to reach the finish line in the long run, we clap for them; to those who cheat in the competition, we feel discreditable for them; and to those show respect and love even to their competitors, we admire them. In an Olympic fencing competition, after the Chinese player had thrust the adversary to blood and fall over, to our surprise, the player stopped attacking until her enemy stand up and pick up the sword again. ‘A thrust at that time may ruin her whole sports life’, explained the woman. Somebody say she is stupid, but to her, sports are not only to win but a spirit of ethics.

As for me, there is no such thing more than sports that could bring me more happiness and movement. From the sports, I learn to strive to do the best of myself, to fight with friends and maintain a strong spirit of my ethics. Maybe, that is the reason why Michael Jordan says ‘I love this game.’

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发表于 2010-10-12 11:44:30 |只看该作者
1009 综合
TPO13

In the lecture, criticism is expressed concerning the affection of development of fossil commercial activities happened in recent years. According to the reading material, however, it is claimed that the increasing fossil commerce would block the access of the public as well as the scientists to the fossil and miss out or even destroy the valuable data when the fossils are disinterred. The speaker contradicts this point of views by listing three corresponding arguments respectively as follows.

The first point of lecture, the speaker points out, is that this fossil trade has not restrained the interest of the public for fossils. On the contrary, the commercial trade would give a greater exposure of fossils to the public. To demonstrate this view, she illustrate that it offers chance for the low level institutes, such as primary school or small liberty to purchase some less-expensive fossils. This is entirely opposed to the writer’s expectation.

Also, doubt are casted on the idea that the fossil trade would obstruct the science research on the fossil held in the reading material. The lecturer cites that all fossils, before recognized as real fossils, actually have to be proved by the scientists. Did the scientists not fully examine and analyze a fossil how we common people could say it is valuable or not? So the scientist have not missed a single opportunity to do research. This is another part where listening contradicts the reading.

Finally, the attitude is also challenged that the collectors, who is untrained or uninterested in protecting the evidence related to the fossils usually destroy the scientific data when they dig the fossils, which serves as a crucial statement in reading material. The speaker argues that damage might make by some collectors, however, if were there such collectors, because of a lack of professional institute, many fossils would not be found at all. ‘Something is better than nothing!’

To conclude, the lecturer expresses criticism on that commercial fossil activity would jeopardize the welfare of the public and affect scientific research which is the central standpoint of the reading by pointing out the incomplete thoughts of the writer. By denouncing the writer’s three sub points and related evidences respectively, she claims that the benefits of fossil trade would outweigh the drawbacks.

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发表于 2010-10-12 12:01:51 |只看该作者
1011综合

TPO 14

In the lecture, doubles are described concerning the evaluation of the salvage logging. According to the reading material, it is claimed that salvage logging benefits the seminal trees as well as the economy. However, the speaker contradicts this point of views by listing three corresponding arguments respectively as follows.

The first point of lecture, the speaker indicates, is that burnt trees would not hinder the development of the new trees, because they would soon decay to make space. Actually, the debris of the trees could enrich the soil. Otherwise, if we did salvage logging, there would have not sufficient nutrient soil for the bud of new trees. This point is entirely opposed to the writer’s expectation.

Also, doubt are casted on the idea that the thriving of insects depended on the dead trees would do harm for the recovery of the forest. The lecturer points out that admittedly, the debris of the dead trees would be a wonderful habitant for the insects. However, there is no evidence that these insects would impair the trees. She cites as the fact that trees and insects have lived in harmony for hundreds of years, they would not be mutually exclusive to each other. In addition, she notes that those insects are the food sources for birds, which is vitally important for the forest in the long run.

Finally, the attitude is also challenged that the salvage logging would improve the economy, which serves as a crucial statement in reading material. The speaker argues that such business is quite small and could not last longer. Besides, to carry the logging out of a devastated area often requires helicopters or other very expensive tools, so the cost may outrage the revenue thus making no profits at all. What is more, the new job chance is temporary and might be often offered to the outlanders who are more skillful.

To conclude, the lecturer expresses criticism on that the salvage logging would do good to the forest and economy, by pointing out the incomplete thoughts of the writer. By denouncing the writer’s three sub points and related evidences respectively, she claims that the drawbacks of fossil trade would outweigh the benefits.

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发表于 2010-10-12 18:57:00 |只看该作者
1011

From ancient Olympics to modern competitions, from the NBA court to our backyard play, sports have never failed to fascinate us and arouse passion. People speak(say) that sports could bring vitality to their bodies and maintain them in the best state. However, I say, sports act more than a game, but lessons teaching people about life.
The ‘first lesson’ of sports is the courage to face the challenge in competitions.(这句最好成:Facing the challenge in conpetitions is the "first lesson" sports teach us.) As the Olympic motto goes, competitors should always pursue a ‘higher, stronger and swifter’ results. In the practice, we try our best to make every movement precise and scientific, while in the competition, we spare no effort to defeat the counterparts(counterparts是相对物的意思。。这里用rivals) and win. Were there no sports in this world, I could not imagine how the life could have so much passion. Just as Maradonainstructed(这里最好用inspired) his team is this year’s World Cup: ‘Sweat of twenty days brings you the glory of a whole life.’
Second, no one could deny that almost all the success in sports relies on a good teamwork. Sports teach us that, to win a game, we should trust our teammates, protest and make chance for them as well as make sure that everyone could do its best. Remember even Jordan could not gain the championship ring unless Pippen and other excellent team members joined. Deep down, even some sports which seems only concerning the sportsman itself, have to thank to the whole team, including the coach and assistants. For instance, the success of Liu Xiang, the first Asian who wins the Men’s 110 Race, represents not only his talent and hardworking, but also the accumulation of generations of struggling for this medal.
Sometimes, sports teach us something beyond the sports itself, but about spirit like respect, integrity or human right. To those who have lagged behind far away but still persist to reach the finish line in the long run, we clap for them; to those who cheat in the competition, we feel discreditable for them; and to those show respect and love even to their competitors, we admire them. In an Olympic fencing competition, after the Chinese player had thrust the adversary to blood and fall over, to our surprise, the player stopped attacking until her enemy stand up and pick up the sword again. ‘A thrust at that time may ruin her whole sports life’, explained the woman. Somebody say she is stupid, but to her, sports are not only to win but a spirit of ethics.
7 G9 }# ^: c; U9 d ; N  E& X" O) z
As for me, there is no such thing more than sports that could bring me more happiness and movement. From the sports, I learn to strive to do the best of myself, to fight with friends and maintain a strong spirit of my ethics. Maybe, that is the reason why Michael Jordan says ‘I love this game.’
整体挺好的,结构也很好。用词更准确一些更好,在套用更多的句式。

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发表于 2010-10-12 23:16:56 |只看该作者
In the lecture, doubles are described concerning the evaluation of the salvage logging. According to the reading material, it is claimed that salvage logging benefits the seminal trees as well as the economy. However, the speaker contradicts this point of views by listing three corresponding arguments respectively as follows.5 D. C, d* h- s7 }" P2 F% X
# {# ?  p; w  j2 c! [$ y. C
The first point of lecture, the speaker indicates, is that burnt trees would not hinder the development of the new trees, because they would soon decay to make space. Actually, the debris of the trees could enrich the soil. Otherwise, if we did salvage logging, there would have not sufficient nutrient soil for the bud of new trees. This point is entirely opposed to the writer’s expectation.
6 x( q( H' y; T2 @
( w9 y' H/ j0 e" g1 z, R" `Also, doubt are casted on the idea that the thriving of insects depended(depending) on the dead trees would do harm for the recovery of the forest. The lecturer points out that admittedly, the debris of the dead trees would be a wonderful habitant for the insects. However, there is no evidence that these insects would impair the trees. She(he) cites as the fact that trees and insects have lived in harmony for hundreds of years, they would not be mutually exclusive to each other. In addition, she notes that those insects are the food sources for birds,(好像没说是FOOD吧,我听得好像是这些也是鸟虫的栖息地)argues that such business is quite small and could not last longer. Besides, to carry the logging out of a devastated area often requires helicopters or other very expensive tools, so the cost may outrage the revenue thus making no profits at all. What is more, the new job chance is temporary and might be often offered to the outlanders who are more skillful.2 F% {7 ~1 n' {1 }$ N! p6 F& c
6 d1 U' ?) r4 X. `2 h/ I
To conclude, the lecturer expresses criticism on that the salvage logging would do good to the forest and economy, by pointing out the incomplete thoughts of the writer. By denouncing the writer’s three sub points and related evidences respectively, she claims that the drawbacks of fossil trade would outweigh the benefits.

同学你写得才是真的好,值得学习,挺好的词我借去用了,谢谢




8# zhaoding1014

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