雪Q的作文帖,欢迎来给出您宝贵的意见哦~~~

葛佳UID: 2725332

10 生活习惯  Because people are too busy doing many different things，they can do few things well 070303

With develop fast speed of life nowadays, the competions become more and more intense than that in the past time. In addition, the population explodes unprecedented increasing rapidly. However, the number of the available jobs supply limited far beyong to the expand people. It is frequently happens that the employees are fired by their employers in the currently conditions. Thus, people have to do a lot of things to survive under the moutainous pressure. They are busy doing many different things during their working time. Some people assume that many of them can do few things well. However, as for me, I disagree that point. My reasons are as followings.

For the one hand, it is necessary to do a lot of things so that people would likely to achieve their goals. Many different things are preconditions for the later we will.
From the many different things, even though it is chanllenges for us, we can learn various experiences and skills which are crucial for us to obtain achievements and to be success. Take me for example, in last year, I was designed
to be volunteer for the old men in our communities. To began with, it is big chanllenge for me because I have never do such things before. In my family, my parents always take care of me who is their single daughter.
For the task began day on, I collected a lot of imformation on the internet everyday. And I also find some psychology materials, healthy diets and take exercising in scientific ways which must be suitable for the senior men. When I went there, I teached them how to have healthy meal such as take more cabbages which is good for their heart, have more potatoes which decrease the rate of get disease like bronchitics. In short, I had do many different things for the senior men. After this activity, the senior men regard me as one of their best friends. At the same time, I have learned how to take care of other people and some knowledge about healthy which I have already told my grandparents and parents. See, it is not only do many different things but also we could learn variety of precious experiences. Futhermore, we can do well when we do many different things.

For the other hand, many different things are preconditions for do well things. As we know, we have to prepare numerous things to make significant events before they start. It is easy sample that we can see in our daily life. The business man should do many different things before them make a huge trade with their cooperations. In the first place, the empolder shang must considerable plan to
built comercial buildings. Then, the developer should investigate which is best place when they operation their store. The place is option in the center in the city when they plan to build shopping mall. In addition, they need negotiate the price in the land with the land owners. Last but not least, the empolder shangs would invite sound designer who can design the ecomonic and unility building. The complete plane is finished after long terms to ready which they had already do many different things. Only if we do many different things, we can complish our final goal.

From what we discussed above, it is foundmantal do many different things for do well. What is more, the many different things are precondition to do well things. In order to achive the success. we have to a large number of different things.

phoebeDUID: 2846496

例子写太长了，而且是自己的例子，不是很好
In addition出现两次，可以换其它词代替。
The business man should do many different things before them make a huge trade with their cooperations. 是before them吧？？？

It is easy sample that we can see in our daily life.我觉得应该是it is an easy sample
the empolder shang must considerable plan to  built comercial buildings.是considerably吧？？？
Last but not least 好像在一本bullshit字典里有的，建议不要用
is best place when they operation their store.？？？？operate吧？？？？
觉得很多句子都很罗嗦，可以用一个单词就搞定的东西就不要用从句了。。。。。
我搜肠刮肚想出了这么多

grandyangUID: 2730087

在附件中

葛佳UID: 2725332

11 环境 The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity. 070811
综合： TPO115 J4 j/ |$ z$ U/ N% D9 ^3 G5 j: P7 B


With the modern technology developed rapidly, we use energy all-persvasive to operate our life. The engine of car, machines working or cooking for our dinners everyday all need to exhausted energy in different ways. Thus, the speed of energy diminished is far beyong we can obtain the energy from exploite the source in the world. As far as I concerned, it is high time for us to consider to encourage energy conservation. What is best way to save the limited energy? Is only by increasing prices of gasoline effective way to store the energy? For my perspection, I disagree the point. My reasons are as following.

First and the most, increasing the prices of gasoline will not decrease using the gasoling. Even the prices are soar up, most of people who need use the energy such as divers, worker or even ordinary people would also use the energy as usual. Take the electrical factory for example, the workers should use a large number of the coal to generate electricity so that it not only operates machinces but also is indespesable products for our life. Without electricity, we can not continue to work. What’s worse, the manufactures will increase the price of their product sale to customers. The phenomeno caused the comstomers would pay more prise to the energy and decrease economic development. Hence, the increasing price would not solve the problem the energy conservation.

Secondly, we should convert the renewable energy in other ways which is  the most effective way to save our substantial resourse. The gasoline, coals or ores can not use again. In additionm, it was formed for long time in the earth and the quantity is merely limited. In order to maintain engine to our life, we need discover other renewable source. For example, the wind, water, hydrogen gas are umlimited in the world. The fanatic idea is that use such renewable energy to generate. Furthermore, the envioramental energy can be in recycle ways and will not pollute our enviroment. Therefore, the renewable resources are efficient to encourage energy conservation

However, admittedly, the price increasing, to some extence, has limited us use the energy little less than that in past time. However, a close inspection of the argument would reveal how flimsy it is. It will not get rid of root in the consumption energy.

From what we discussed above,A healthy environment has served as inspiration over the centuries and millennia. On all continents creative people have drawn from the positive effects of natural beauty to produce effects that nature has on their work. Furthermore, nature is the focal point of many works. Therefore, a healthy environment becomes a prerequisite for we live on the earth.

葛佳UID: 2725332

2# phoebeD

我发现我审题有点问题了

题是问

做不好事情 是因为  做很多不同的事的

ella_dylUID: 2595060

4# 葛佳
10.7独立作文已改，请查收

葛佳UID: 2725332

TPO 11 综合

According to the lecture, the passage says that the reasons caused the literature develop declining. However, the professor think the passage is not convincing and holds that the current condition would not prevent the literature to expand.

In the first place, the professor casts doubt on the point of the passage that only literature provied the intellectual understanding our languege. However, the professor believes that there are many other kind of products like science writing, history, political analysis and so on. They can also stimulate the imagination.

Secondly, the passage claims that the people spend the less time with literature that lead to the culture is decreasing. On the contrary, to buttress his instance, the professor believes that a large number of culturally valuable material are presented in other ways such as music, movie. In today’s culture, many forms express more directly  in contemporary than the literature does.

Last but not least, the passage assumes that there are less readers to support the essays by the writters. Contrastly, the professor emphasizes that modern literature tends to more difficult to understand. In addition, there is no evidence to prove that the earlier generations of readers would have a lot of today’s literature.


这个寄托限制太多了， 一个小时不能发3个帖子。 昨天没有发成。 今天补上

葛佳UID: 2725332

10.8 作业
12 技术与进步  The purpose of television should be all educative, not entertain. 0902220 \2 Z3 H5 L6 r* i( H


The world today is moving at a faster and faster pace. Technology is being developed at an unprecedented speed. The 21st century is bound to be very different from the previous one. Watching the television is becoming part of our daily life. Some people discussed that the purpose of television should be all educative, not entertain. From my perceptions, I disagree with that point. My reasons are as following.

In the first place, watching the television is one of relaxing ways. And it releases our pressure, due to the daytime working, we become exhausted. It is not necessary change into educational programs. For example, when I research some thing for fun and in a depression, I need to relax. The comedy fit me taste perfectly. The comedy better is that this kind of film always delivers positive information which can inspirit me, as it’s nothing doctrine to teach seriously like documentaries or tragedies and so on. Watching the comedy make me laugh and forget trouble. Hence, the educational programs are not indispensable cover all of programs in the television.

Furthermore, television programs are supposed to conclude variety comments. The viewers are not only children, teenagers, but also senior audiences. Only with wealthy programs are suit for widely range of audiences tastes. Take young children who aged 1 or 2 years old example, they may do not know educational program. And they just need listen classical music or play games to enhance their immature physical development. So it is in vain for the child. The entrainment programs also teach people to develop ability to appreciate for the artists’ creation.

However, the parents are force to control their children watching program. Because there are persuasive violence or soap opera program which have negative for innocent children thoughts. To certain extent, it is not necessary only purpose to educational program.

To sum up, different kinds of people watch different programs. We need enjoy the television on balance. For teenager, they need education program due to they can not identify which is helpful or useless.  For the other hand, adults need variety types of television. Thus, the purpose of television should not all change into the education.

lynn27UID: 2774627

10年10月8日 周五：
1 T2 |6 C$ Z- ]2 B7 @0 |独立：* {  h% `- f* V- j- r6 R  A4 u: ]4 _
12 技术与进步 Has Technology made children less creative than they were in the past 080504


....？？？你的作文题目怎么。。。

葛佳UID: 2725332

9# lynn27

不好意思， 弄错了。 你先看这篇吧。 今天就只写这篇了。

lynn27UID: 2774627

呵呵，改完了。

phoebeDUID: 2846496

:lol The world today is moving at a faster and faster pace(increasingly faster). Technology is being developed at an unprecedented speed. The 21st（建议用twenty first） century is bound to be very different from the previous one. Watching the（不用the，因为前面没出现过television） television is becoming part of our daily life. Some people discussed that the purpose of television should be all educative, not entertain（entertaining）. From my perceptions（这句可去掉有点啰嗦）, I disagree with that point. My reasons are as following. * x$ u# [  i$ I, x
4 t; G" c* J) e7 j5 l) w
In the first place, watching the（靓女。。。） television is one of （the）relaxing ways. And it releases our pressure, due to the daytime working, we become exhausted. It is not necessary change into educational programs. （这句很突然啊，或者我不是很了解是什么意思）For example, when I research some things for fun and in a depression, I need to relax. (不是很理解，你是想说research some interesting things 和In a depression吧？？要平行结构啊）The comedy fit me taste perfectly（taste perfect，感官动词）. The comedy better is that（这里语法是不是错了?) this kind of film always delivers positive information which can inspirit（inspire吧？） me, as it’s nothing doctrine to teach seriously like documentaries or tragedies and so on(and so on被老外列为骗字数的垃圾词组了。。。）. Watching the comedy make me laugh and forget trouble. Hence, the educational programs are not indispensable cover all of programs in the television.（这里冠词的使用也是错了啊,而且语法也是）9 i, x. P3 U( p. C- l/ J. o
# m8 q/ Y! ]1 T/ V! Y9 p7 K' Y" Y
Furthermore, television programs are supposed to conclude variety（of） comments.（冠词冠词 ）The viewers are not only children, teenagers, but also senior audiences. Only with（为什么要有with？） wealthy programs are suit for widely range of audiences tastes. Take young children who aged 1 or 2（不要用数字，除非你要写99999999这种大数，不然就会被认为是词汇不过关，总之是一个印象问题啦） years old example, they may do not know（unfamiliar with会好一点） educational program. And they just need listen classical music or play games to enhance their immature physical development. So（尽量别用so，有很多东西可以代替的） it（it是指代什么的？在句首就用代词要很小心，让人一看就知道指代啥） is in vain for the child. The entrainment programs also teach people to develop ability to appreciate for the artists’ creation（creations)这句觉得怪怪的，建议改改.&  m) m  t. `* }' p

; b* h/ T- x; G* K6 z- o9 bHowever, the parents are force to control their children watching program.（家长被逼去控制他们的小孩？） Because there are persuasive violence or soap opera program which have negative for innocent children thoughts. To certain extent, it is not necessary to only purpose to educational program.9 n2 |) O( W. e6 x
; m5 s+ Y; \( ^+ `; \* i
To sum up, different kinds of people watch different programs. We need enjoy the television on balance（我学了）. For teenager（teenagers）, they need education program due to they can not identify which is helpful or (not)useless.  For the other hand(for 什么hand这个，建议不要用，因为这种东西一出就要出两个，前面一个hand，后面一个hand）, adults need variety types of television（programs）. Thus, the purpose of television（programs )should not all change into the education.
我觉得冠词的使用虽然是小问题，但有时候小处见大，所以要从小处做起。例如单复数，a an这些都是。
见过有好几个东西使用重复了，建议去搞多点同意转化的。
我没有帮你看例子贴不贴切这些东西啊，因为我觉得现阶段，写作最主要的是    逻辑>语法>单词。。。。。但逻辑不是文章内容的逻辑，是句子与句子间的逻辑，每个句子都紧密相连，代词指代明确才是最重要的东西
恩。。。你要请我东西:lol

葛佳UID: 2725332

The world today is moving faster and faster pace. And twenty first centuries is bound to different from the previous. People’s value is indeed affected by mountainous media dramatically. One of most makeable Medias is advertising. And all-pervasive advertisements have covered widely range which from dressing to diet, from speech to perspective.  However, there will be springing up heated a discussion about whether advertising is a waste of time and money. In my opinion, advertising is one of special products for our life and it is indispensable in reality rather than waste of money.

In the fist place, advertisements are particular knowledge to people. The reason is that advertisements convey practical information in order to improve our quality life. Watching the advertisement, we can see successful man, beautiful and sexy women who are attractive with devil slender and anger face, appealing delicious food which enlarges people appetite or even some sanitation of healthy common sense.  From them, we obtain desire to be success and stimulate our emotion.  Hence, the advertising will give us especial feeling which we can not find on our textbook.


Furthermore, advertisements are expression of art creation. In modern life, many people become mechanic because of fast speed of life. Access to watching the advertisement, we get relaxing and release our pressure. In addition, the significant benefit is own to regain ability to appreciate creation of art. Due to describing abstract and using art skill, colorful advertising define beauty which is kind of art. Take advertizing of Toyota car as an example, car with perfect appearance and useful function. No one deny the designer is excellent for art.

However, we admit that, to some extent, the advertizing exaggerate products in commercial way. Sometimes, we have already known the unity of product which is saying in advertising such as which medicine cure what symptom of patients. What is worse, in order to attracting customers, merchants use false information to innocent customers. As far as I concerned, thousand of young ladies who pursue slender are hurt because of using false medicine which are in persuasive advertising.

To sum up, we can not blame the advertising is waste of money and time. Because it is kind of art and contribute beauty for us. The advertising makes our life more meaningful.

S酱UID: 2883188

According to the lecture, the passage says（换个词，这个感觉不够正经0 0，states啊claims或者其他啥的） that the reasons caused the literature develop（development名词） declining. However, the professor think 换个词，这个感觉不够正经0 0）the passage is not convincing and holds that the current condition would not prevent the literature to expand（没懂，文章有提到么？）.

In the first place, the professor casts doubt on the point of the passage that only literature provied the intellectual understanding our languege.（有点语病） However, the professor believes that there are many other kind of products（用词不当，学科不能用这个，subjects什么的） like science writing, history, political analysis and so on. They can also stimulate the imagination.

Secondly, the passage claims that the people spend the（去掉） less time with literature that lead to the culture is decreasing（语法错误）. On the contrary, to buttress his instance, the professor believes that a large number of culturally valuable material are presented in other ways such as music, movie. In today’s culture, many forms express more directly  in contemporary than the literature does."

Last but not least, the passage assumes that there are less readers to support the essays（换个词，这个不是作品是论文） by the writters. Contrastly, the professor emphasizes that modern literature tends to more difficult to understand. In addition, there is no evidence to prove that the earlier generations of readers would have a lot of today’s literature.（没懂，文章有提到么？）

抱歉来很晚～貌似语法错误有很多，需要加强点语法和用词～
我的在94楼～

cyanidinUID: 2897934

葛佳你好~我是应该给你改作文的人~~不过。。。我不知道我应该改哪篇啊？