【辉太郎杀G大队】7/15 作业by Applemango

ApplemangoUID: 2661244

20The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

"The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 duing the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."

In this argument, the editor suggests that the council of Balmer Island should limit the number of the rentals of six local moped and bicycle rental companies in summer so as to reduce the moped accidents. To support this claim the editor points out that the population of the Island expands during the summer season. He also cites other evidence that the neighboring island of Torseau imitated the number of rentals last year and the number of accidents decreased. Careful examination of these supporting evidences, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to the editor’s claim.

To begin with, the argument relies on what might be a false analogy between the Island of Balmer and Torseau. In order for the success of Torseau to serve as a model that Balmer should emulate, the editor must assume that all relevant circumstances of the two islands are essentially the same. However, this assumption is unwarranted. Possibly, the argument overlooks the possibility that the reducing accidents of Torseau result from other concerns besides put limitations on the rentals. Perhaps the reconstructed road merited to the decreasing accidents. Or, perhaps the safety consciousness of the residents increases.

Next, even if the effect of limiting number of rentals were as great as the editor claims, the argument still fail t convince us that it is necessary for Balmer to follow such limitation during the summer season. We are in the absence of the specific reason that the increasing population can directly result in a rise of accidents. Perhaps the majority of the increasing population is consisted of tourists from other places, and they travel the Island in shuttle bus or just on foot. Without ruling out all other reasons to prove the direct relationship between the rise of population and the rise of accidents, it is unfair to conclude that Balmer should introduce the similar limitation to reduce the accidents.


Even assuming that the rising population directly lead an obvious rise in accidents because more people tend to rent mopeds and pedestrians in summer, the editor provides no clear evidence that the mopeds of the six rental companies provides account for the majority mopeds in the island. It is highly possible that, there are 10 times more mopeds owned by the residents. Thus, only restricting the number of rentals of each 6 companies from 50 per day to 30 per day seems ineffective and limited.

In sum, the editor cannot justify his suggestion of reducing the accidents by imitating the number of rentals of 6 local rental companies on the basis of the scant evidence provided in the argument. To bolster the suggestion the editor must provide better evidence that: (1) the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents of Torseau is a result of imitating the number of rentals; (2) the rising population relatively lead to a rising of moped accidents; (3) the total number of the mopeds and the information of the owners of Balmer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


207"Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."

1.
Rituals and ceremonies 是从文化中衍生出来的，让人们有归属感。
2.
不同的宗教活动清楚地区分了不同的文化。人们可以籍此界定自己的文化身份
3.
但这些活动更多是肤浅的，在全球化的背景下人的多元文化身份更加复杂。R&C就不再容易identify参与者的文化身份。
4.
不能否认，也有文化没有通过这些活动存活下来。

The speaker claims that rituals and ceremonies are indispensable for defining a culture or for group of people to identify themselves. I agree with this assertion insofar as the main aim of ritual and ceremony is to keep cultural identity. However, I disagree with the speaker’s claim that the only way for people to identify themselves is the performance of ritual and ceremony.

Admittedly, rituals and ceremonies are kinds of customary which help strengthen people’s sense of belonging. They are generated through the long history, performed and repeated by the social members and giving a feeling of home. The Japanese ancestor worship consists of elaborate funerals and many commemorative rites at home, temple and the gravesites. Almost every Japanese family has an altar to mourn for the dead. And during the annual ancestral ceremony, namely the Bon, people will return to their parental homes to memorize all their ancestors who, they firmly believe, will return to their home during Bon period. In many neighborhoods, people even dance to traditional Japanese folk music, celebrating this special observance. These rituals and ceremonies, undoubtedly, gather the whole family to make them feel the spiritual connection to the deceased family members, thereby ensuring the continuity of family lineage.

In addition, rituals and ceremonies mark the clear distinction between different cultures. Without clear identification, different nations are just like the manufactured goods of globalization.
It is easy for people to tell the Christian culture through its characterized rituals such as baptism, wedding and obsequies and the Islam culture through its Muslim rituals like Friday mosque service and fasting during the month of Ramadan. In the era of globalization, the way of living has severely changed and highly assimilated, while some rituals and ceremonies stay distinctive and help preserve cultural identify.

However, we have to face up to the fact that, sometimes ritual and ceremony are merely superficial, and they can never be the core which maintains the identity of people. The globalization has stimulated the worldwide economic development, but it also led the losing identities in Asian and African societies. And the few preserved are pale to guarantee the uniqueness of the culture itself. Sometimes, ritual and ceremony are even performed in the name of native culture and are utilized as means to attract more culture vultures. The Confucius Birthday Rituals supported by China in recent years have been considered an advertisement for tourism as no core remains under the cover.

Finally, without practicing its own rituals or ceremonies, there’s still several cultures survive and people weren’t aware of who they were under such circumstance. Jewish Culture has been preserved through mass persecution of Egyptians, the Muslims, Germans and Russians, even the traditional Jewish religious practice was banned since the Babylon Empire. It is the Hebrew language and belief in their God encouraged the Jewish to strive for survivor. And this example has enlightened us that apart from ritual and ceremony, people can still find the way to recognize their cultural identity.

In sum, ritual and ceremony are the key to retain cultural identify. However, the nature of ritual and ceremony as superficial weaken their role to reveal the core social cultures. Furthermore, those religious activities are not the only means of preserving cultural identity.

sindyttUID: 2661721

20The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

"The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 duing the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
In this argument, the editor suggests that the council of Balmer Island should limit the number of the rentals of six local moped and bicycle rental companies in summer so as to reduce the moped (and pedestrians) accidents. To support this claim the editor points out that the population of the Island expands during the summer season.(这句话最好写完整，要不逻辑有问题。人口增加和作者的suggestion没有必然联系) He also cites other evidence that the neighboring island of Torseau imitated (模仿？) the number of rentals last year and the number of accidents decreased. Careful examination of these supporting evidences, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to the editor’s claim. （好句子~）
To begin with, the argument relies on what might be a false analogy between the Island of Balmer and Torseau. In order for（这个搭配从来没见过。。。）
the success of Torseau to serve as a model that Balmer should emulate, the editor must assume that all relevant circumstances of the two islands are essentially the same. （展开一下）However, this assumption is unwarranted. Possibly, the argument overlooks the possibility that the reducing accidents of Torseau result from other concerns besides put limitations on the rentals. Perhaps the reconstructed road merited to the decreasing accidents. Or, perhaps the safety consciousness of the residents increases.这段其实论证了两个错误：1.T镇的事故下降不一定是limination导致的。2.错误地类推了B镇。所以论证的时候最好分开说，感觉两个逻辑错误纠缠在一段里，虽然每句话都对，但总觉得论证地不够清晰。
Next, even if the effect of limiting number of rentals were as great as the editor claims, the argument still fail to convince us that it is necessary for Balmer to follow such limitation during the summer season. We are in the absence of the specific reason that the increasing population can directly result in a rise of accidents. Perhaps the majority of the increasing population is consisted of tourists from other places, and they travel the Island in shuttle bus or just on foot. Without ruling out all other reasons to prove the direct relationship between the rise of population and the rise of accidents, it is unfair to conclude that Balmer should introduce the similar limitation to reduce the accidents.这段跟队长提纲里不一样嘛，你攻击的不是人口增多和事故频繁这个点，而是承认了它，攻击脚踏车的限制能否减少事故，也就是说是不是有其他可能性导致事故。论证很好，可是举例太少了。再加一个Or perhaps会显得更加饱满。所以在最后总结时，第二个点需要修改一下。

Even assuming that the rising population directly lead an obvious rise in accidents because more people tend to rent mopeds and pedestrians in summer, the editor provides no clear evidence that the mopeds of the six rental companies provides account for the majority mopeds in the island. It is highly possible that, there are 10 times more mopeds owned by the residents. Thus, only restricting the number of rentals of each 6 companies from 50 per day to 30 per day seems ineffective and limited.（个人认为噢。。。这个攻击点选择的不太好。）
In sum, the editor cannot justify his suggestion of reducing the accidents by imitating（limiting）
the number of rentals of 6 local rental companies on the basis of the scant evidence provided in the argument. To bolster the suggestion the editor must provide better evidence that: (1) the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents of Torseau is a result of imitating the number of rentals; (2) the rising population relatively lead to a rising of moped accidents; (3) the total number of the mopeds and the information of the owners of （in） Balmer.



评语：一个小时以内写完的文章，能有这水平，真是佩服呀~~~语言富有变化，结构清晰。好好向队长学习~~~~
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
207"Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."
1.
Rituals and ceremonies 是从文化中衍生出来的，让人们有归属感。
2.
不同的宗教活动清楚地区分了不同的文化。人们可以籍此界定自己的文化身份
3.
但这些活动更多是肤浅的，在全球化的背景下人的多元文化身份更加复杂。R&C就不再容易identify参与者的文化身份。
4.
不能否认，也有文化没有通过这些活动存活下来。
The speaker claims that rituals and ceremonies are indispensable for defining a culture or for group of people to identify themselves. I agree with this assertion insofar as the main aim of ritual and ceremony is to keep cultural identity. However, I disagree with the speaker’s claim that the only way for people to identify themselves is the performance of ritual and ceremony.
Admittedly, rituals and ceremonies are kinds of customary which help strengthen people’s sense of belonging. They are generated through the long history, performed and repeated by the social members and giving a feeling of home. The Japanese ancestor worship consists of elaborate funerals and many commemorative rites at home, temple and the gravesites. Almost every Japanese family has an altar to mourn for the dead. And during the annual ancestral ceremony, namely the Bon, people will return to their parental homes to memorize all their ancestors who, they firmly believe, will return to their home during Bon period. In many neighborhoods, people even dance to traditional Japanese folk music, celebrating this special observance. These rituals and ceremonies, undoubtedly, gather the whole family to make them feel the spiritual connection to the deceased family members, thereby ensuring the continuity of family lineage.
In addition, rituals and ceremonies mark the clear distinction between different cultures. Without clear identification, different nations are just like the manufactured goods of globalization.
It is easy for people to tell the Christian culture through its characterized rituals such as baptism, wedding and obsequies and the Islam culture through its Muslim rituals like Friday mosque service and fasting during the month of Ramadan. In the era of globalization, the way of living has severely changed and highly assimilated, while some rituals and ceremonies stay distinctive and help preserve cultural identify. （这两段的例子都很好~~~）

However, we have to face up to the fact that, sometimes ritual and ceremony are merely superficial, and they can never be the core which maintains the identity of people. The globalization has stimulated the worldwide economic development, but it also led the losing identities in Asian and African societies. And the few preserved are pale to guarantee the uniqueness of the culture itself. Sometimes, ritual and ceremony are even performed in the name of native culture and are utilized as means to attract more culture vultures. The Confucius Birthday Rituals supported by China in recent years have been considered an advertisement for tourism as no core remains under the cover.
Finally, without practicing its own rituals or ceremonies, there’s still several cultures survive and people weren’t aware of who they were under such circumstance. Jewish Culture has been preserved through mass persecution of Egyptians, the Muslims, Germans and Russians, even the traditional Jewish religious practice was banned since the Babylon Empire. It is the Hebrew language and belief in their God encouraged the Jewish to strive for survivor. And this example has enlightened us that apart from ritual and ceremony, people can still find the way to recognize their cultural identity.
In sum, ritual and ceremony are the key to retain cultural identify. However, the nature of ritual and ceremony as superficial weaken their role to reveal the core social cultures. Furthermore, those religious activities are not the only means of preserving cultural identity.

评语：很不错的论点，我一直不知道这篇文章怎么写，队长的思路很不错~~