ARGUMENT
1
The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."
正文
Grounding on the experience, indicating that the stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with healthy lives, and then the hypothesize that there are many such residents in Plainsville because that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs and the local health club has more member, and another factor that local schoolchildren are required to participate in a program related to regular exercise at an early age, the author concludes that they should build the next new store in Plainsville. However, the sequitur is not thoroughly well-reasoned.
The author is falling to consider other possible alternatives to contributing to sales. People who are highly concerned with leading healthy lives usually do sports regularly, but people who are interested in sports may not care about leading healthy lives. It is likely that the vice president thinks that the customers who buy running shoes and exercise clothing must be concerned with healthy lives. The sales are at all-time highs means that the sales are increasing, but it does not necessarily mean that sales remain at a high level. It is possible that there is a sports meeting there recently. Residents are enjoying the sports meeting and therefore they are more interested in sports than before. Perhaps they are just interested in doing sports, what stimulates the sales of running shoes and exercising clothing, and they are not interested at health-related products at all. In addition, there may be scenic mountains in Plainsville, and the local government starts promoting tourism, and mountaineering sports fans gathered there, so the sales increase. There is no evidence that the residents are highly concerned with healthy lives.
The local health club which nearly closed due to lack to business is just the evidence that most residents did not care about exercise five years ago. It is reasonable to deduce there were few members at that time. It would be relatively easy for the club to increase the number of members by a large margin. Though the weight training and aerobics classes are always full, we do not know how many classes the club has and how many members a class can contain. Maybe the number of members is little, and can be ignored when comparing with the whole population of Plainsville. Assumed that there are a lot of members, it is possible that they just want to develop the strength and size of skeletal muscles, what means they do not care about healthy lives.
No one knows whether Plainsville’s schoolchildren like regular exercise and how long the program will last. We also do not know their parents’ attitude to healthy related products, what decides whether they will pay for the products or not.
In conclusion, I tend to agree that the residents may take more sports than before. However, there is no evidence that the residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives and thus they will buy health-related products. The vice president should evaluate other possible alternatives.
[url=]Grounding on the experience[/url][wx1]
, indicating that the stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with healthy lives, and then the [url=]hypothesize[/url][wx2] that there are many such residents in Plainsville because that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs and the local health club has more member, and another [url=]factor[/url][wx3] that local schoolchildren are required to participate in a program related to regular exercise at an early age, the author concludes that they should build the next new store in Plainsville. However, the sequitur is not thoroughly well-reasoned.
The author [url=]is falling[/url][wx4] to consider other possible alternatives [url=]to[/url][wx5] contributing to sales. People who are highly concerned with leading healthy lives usually do sports regularly, but people who are interested in sports may not care about leading healthy lives. It is likely that the vice president thinks that the customers who buy running shoes and exercise clothing must be concerned with healthy lives.[url=] [/url]The sales are at all-time highs means that the sales are increasing,[wx6]
but it does not necessarily mean that sales remain at a high level. It is possible that there is a sports meeting there recently. Residents are enjoying the sports meeting and therefore they are more interested in sports than before. Perhaps they are just interested in doing sports, what stimulates the sales of running shoes and exercising clothing, and they are not interested [url=]at[/url][wx7] health-related products at all. In addition, there may be scenic mountains in Plainsville, and the local government starts promoting tourism, and mountaineering sports fans gathered there, so the sales increase. There is no evidence that the residents are highly concerned with healthy lives.
这一段看到了这个例子不完善的一方面,实际上也可以说买运动衣运动鞋的人也不一定爱运动,中间红色标出的句子,我想人家说了at all-time highs,就是指长期销量好。因此最后一个举例攻击也就不太恰当。
The local health club which nearly closed due to lack to business is just the evidence that most residents did not care about exercise five years ago. It is reasonable to deduce there were few members at that time. It would be relatively easy for the club to increase the number of members by a large margin. Though the weight training and aerobics classes are always full, we do not know how many classes the club has and how many members a class can contain. Maybe the number of members is little, and can be ignored when comparing with the whole population of Plainsville. Assumed that there are a lot of members, it is possible that they just want to develop the strength and size of skeletal muscles, what means they do not care about healthy lives. (这也算健康的一部分,可以说和健康食品什么的没有必然联系)
[url=]No one knows [/url][wx8] whether Plainsville’s schoolchildren like regular exercise[url=] and [/url][wx9] how long the program will last. We [url=]also do not know[/url][wx10] their parents’ attitude to healthy related products, what decides whether they will pay for the products or not.
这个地方你可以说那个项目只代表政府或学校的意志,不代表当地居民如何如何
In conclusion, I tend to agree that the residents may take more sports than before. However, there is no evidence [url=]that[/url][wx11] the residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives and thus they will buy health-related products. The vice president should evaluate other possible [url=]alternatives[/url][wx12] .
全篇结构清晰,内容比较全面,但如果能够把意思表达得更明确些就更完美了。结尾处要表达出你对结论的看法比较好。表达比较流畅,继续努力啊
[wx1]不知可否如此用On the ground of successful experience