argument169@@A dream@@by小小amy

小小amyUID: 2541111

169The following appeared in a letter from a department chairperson to the president of Pierce University.

"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area根据. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire staff目的, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire措施. Although we cannot expect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent措施结果 because, if their spouses have a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our offers其根据."

The letter is well organized, but the logic is not tight linked. To attract the most gifted teachers and researchers to Pierce University and raise the morale of the entire staff, it seems very reasonable to offer a job to the spouse of each new faculty member in the little town, but this is a drop in the bucket after analyzing.

The study shows if the professors’ spouse were in the same town, they would be happier so the university offers jobs to the employees’ spouses. The school concerns the happiness of stuff, is to make sure they will work harder. However, as technology and traffic are developed nowadays, people may live far away from work places. Husbands and wives who live apart may not all are unhappy. Moreover, professors with sincere responsibility and real academic ability would not be affected in school performance for spouses not at town. In other words, Pierce University’s faculty morale will still be enhanced though it doesn’t provide extra jobs, if qualified new employees come forward and take their offers.

Suppose the happiness does influence the work of the new faculty member and the school offers jobs to their spouse, will this measure really draw attentions from those people the school expected? Pierce University located in a small town, more effort should put on other aspects to attract good teachers. For instance, the comprehensive quality of students should be higher, school hardware facilities should be up to date and faculty salary should be raised to a new level. If these steps were taken comprehensively, the enthusiastic of teaching stuff would surely climb. Therefore, the purpose of attract the most gifted teachers and researchers and improving the teaching atmosphere will be better attained.

As the author concerned, not all offers will be viewed as an ideal job offer which may leads conflicts between the couples. This is against the original goal to make them happy. The school should also take the professions of the spouses into account. Money will be double spent in case those spouses are not working for the school. This equals the university hires one new member at a cost twice higher. Besides, this privilege opens to new employees only, obviously unfair to the old faculty. There is a possibility complains will be spread among them, which will hurt the morale of the stuff. Considered factors here, it is hard for the school to achieve its goal and spent its money well.

All in all, Pierce University should think over other measures according to the complexion. The reason and measure the author cited is not logically supporting the final intention to well faculty the school and boost the morale.

cherry_916UID: 2621641

The letter is well organized, but the logic is not tight linked. To attract the most gifted teachers and researchers to Pierce University and raise the morale of the entire staff, it seems very reasonable to offer a job to the spouse of each new faculty member in the little town, but this is a drop in the bucket（不错！） after analyzing. 我觉得开头应该写的客观一些，注意一些用词方面

The study shows if the professors’ spouse were in the same town, they would be happier so the university offers jobs to the employees’ spouses. The school concerns the happiness of stuff,？？ is to make sure they will work harder. However, as technology and traffic are developed nowadays, people may live far away from work places. Husbands and wives who live apart may not all are unhappy. Moreover, professors with sincere responsibility and real academic ability would not be affected in school performance for spouses not at town. ？In other words, Pierce University’s faculty morale will still be enhanced though it doesn’t provide extra jobs, if qualified new employees come forward and take their offers.

Suppose the happiness does influence the work of the new faculty member and the school offers jobs to their spouse, will this measure really draw attentions from those people the school expected? Pierce University located in a small town, more effort should put on other aspects to attract good teachers. For instance, the comprehensive quality of students should be higher, school hardware facilities should be up to date and faculty salary should be raised to a new level. If these steps were taken comprehensively, the enthusiastic of teaching stuff would surely climb. Therefore, the purpose of attract the most gifted teachers and researchers and improving the teaching atmosphere will be better attained.

As the author concerned, not all offers will be viewed as an ideal job offer which may leads conflicts between the couples. This is against the original goal to make them happy. The school should also take the professions of the spouses into account. Money will be double spent in case those spouses are not working for the school. This equals the university hires one new member at a cost twice higher. Besides, this privilege opens to new employees only, obviously unfair to the old faculty. There is a possibility complains will be spread among them, which will hurt the morale of the stuff. Considered factors here, it is hard for the school to achieve its goal and spent its money well.

All in all, Pierce University should think over other measures according to the complexion. The reason and measure the author cited is not logically supporting the final intention to well faculty the school and boost the morale.

逻辑错误没有找出来的：
1、        The chairperson fail to consider the possible difference between the B and P university, it doesn’t mean that P has the same effective activities like B   
2、        The chairperson fail to consider other factors that influence the professors’ decision.
3、        The chairperson fail to consider the P University has the capability of offering the employment to the spouse of all the new faculty.