TOEFL集结号 暑期突破小组 作文第七次作业 by Amber

Amber0926UID: 2555355

今天的题目感觉好难啊！
syllabus*：
1.总述两队人马意见分歧
2.人类是土地的开发者和社会的主宰者，所以优先满足人类的发展很合理。
3.频临动物的保护和土地的使用关联不大，所以在此方面谈土地问题无意思。
4.总结观点并认为对于有限的土地资源要更好传承先辈造福后辈。

For most of the time, we are always on the arduous journey in seeking for the answer of this question: how could we allocate the scare land better after all? The most of people hold the opinion that endangered animals should enjoy much more land than human being, for they be on the point of extinct circumstances, which definitely need more land urgently. Contrary to the opinion of those people, is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that it is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.

To begin with, Human is the master of the whole society, so we can take it for granted that people use more land than save land for endangered animals. Land problem is always great concern to nation whenever in the past or in current time. We can take pay attention to these: in the 18th century, the famous Western Movement in the States was definitely a brilliant victory for American history; in early days of new china, people who moved to the northeast was also a landmark for the constructions of our motherland. All of those reveals that on one hand, people demand more and more land to content themselves; on the other hand, they have enough ability to exploit more and more land to satisfy human's increasing requirement. So we are the dominator and main explorer for the scarce land, which is served for the development of human beings firstly quite reasonable.

Moreover, in order to protect endangered animals, we just save land for them as an effective manner seems ridiculous. A multitude of people live under the illusion that
better solving problem of endangered animals, better save more land to them. In fact, best solution of endangered animals depends on the environmental protection and sensible human actions to animals. So land problem seems little influence for endangered animals. In short, there is little relationship between land usage and endangered animals.

Based on all the facts previously stated, we could safely draw the conclusion that it is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals. Meanwhile, we should better protect and utilize this precious gift---the scarce land from our ancestors, only in this way can we pass it on to our next generation successfully.

枕头和书UID: 2578813

For most of the time, we are always on the arduous journey in seeking for the answer of this question: how could we allocate the scare land better after all? The most of people hold the opinion that endangered animals should enjoy much more land than human being, for they be on the point of extinct circumstances, which definitely need more land urgently. Contrary to the opinion of those people, is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that it is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.(几个句式用的挺好，)
7
`To begin with, Human is the master of the whole society, so we can
take it for granted（值得我学习） that people use more land than save land for endangered animals. Land problem is always great concern to nation whenever in the past or in current time. We can take pay（动词连用了）
attention to these: in the 18th century, the famous Western Movement（西进运动是这么说的吗） in the States was definitely a brilliant victory for American history; in early days of new china, people who moved to the northeast was also a landmark for the constructions of our motherland. All of those reveals that on one hand, people demand more and more land to content （satisfy 更好些）themselves; on the other hand, they have enough ability to exploit more and more land to satisfy human's increasing requirement. So we are the dominator and main explorer for the scarce land, which is served for the development of human beings firstly quite reasonable.4 e* `+ j1 M; n+ f5 g$ l

kMoreover, in order to protect endangered animals, we just save land for them as an effective manner seems ridiculous. A multitude of people live under the illusion that（用得好）
7 C. J) S+ B& @# U. X0 rbetter solving problem of endangered animals, better save more land to them. In fact, best solution of endangered animals depends on the environmental protection and sensible human actions to animals. So land problem seems little influence for endangered animals. In short, there is little relationship between land usage and endangered animals.
Based on all the facts previously stated,（值得借鉴） we could safely draw the conclusion that it is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals. Meanwhile, we should better protect and utilize this precious gift---the scarce land from our ancestors, only in this way can we pass it on to our next generation successfully.
语言掌握的很好，很多地方值得学习。
红色的代表的是词用的有误。

thatllUID: 2538832

RFor most of the time, we are always on the arduous journey in seeking for the answer of this question: how could we allocate the scare（应该是scarce吧） land better after all（问1：这里after all是什么意思，“毕竟”在这里好像不太像哈，“究竟”的话应该是on earth吧？）? The most of people（直接改为Most如何？） hold the opinion that endangered animals should enjoy much more land than human being（是不是改为human beings）, for they be on the point of extinct circumstances（是不是表示“因为他们处在灭绝的边缘”？改为for they are on the brink of extinction）, which definitely need more land urgently. Contrary to the opinion of those people,（这个逗号我感觉上还是省去比较好，呵呵，吹毛求疵了） is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that it is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.
注：恩，很标准但不缺新意的开头，特别是一上来就是一句很形象的表达来引出问题，然后正反两面观点亮相，顺便带出了自己的观点。很好的开头！

To begin with, Human is the master of the whole society（应该nature比较好吧，呵呵，society一般是指人类社会吧）, so we can take it for granted that people use more land than save land for endangered animals. Land problem is always great concern to nation whenever in the past or in current time（好像没有这个表达吧，是不是改为in modern times）. We can take（多余） pay attention to these: in the 18th century, the famous Western Movement in the States was definitely a brilliant victory for American history; in early days of new china（China）, people who moved to the northeast was also a landmark for the constructions of our motherland. All of those reveals that on one hand, people demand more and more land to content themselves; on the other hand, they have enough ability to exploit more and more land to satisfy human's increasing requirement. So we are the dominator and main explorer for the scarce land, which is served for the development of human beings firstly quite reasonable（这最后的语法我好像没太看懂）.
注：这一点提出的观点就是人类是整个自然的master，那人类有需求也有能力优先享用有限的土地。给出了Western Movement和中国开发大东北。合理！

Moreover, in order to protect endangered animals, we just save land for them as an effective manner seems ridiculous（这里的语法跟上面最后一句一样，主语从句可以省略句首的that么？）. A multitude of people live under the illusion that （应该前面有the吧）better solving problem of endangered animals, （这里也有the吧）better save more land to them. In fact, best solution of（一般我们都用to） endangered animals depends on the environmental protection and sensible human actions to animals. So land problem seems little influence for endangered animals. In short, there is little relationship between land usage and endangered animals.
注：这一段的论据就是濒危动物和土地不太有关系。关于这一点我觉得好像缺少一点说服力，动物灭绝很大一部分是由于人类破坏了他们的habitat，也就是他们的栖居地被破坏，我想这也是这个issue的本意所在。所以你在这里一下子否定了这两者之间缺少太多的关系也就等于否定了这个issue的合理性。呵呵。

Based on all the facts previously stated, we could safely draw the conclusion that it is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals. Meanwhile, we should better protect and utilize this precious gift---the scarce land from our ancestors, only in this way can we pass it on to our next generation successfully.
注：结尾很漂亮，句式也挺优美！

附注：
after all：
1.  Despite everything, nevertheless, as in The plane took off half an hour late but landed on time after all.
2.  After everything else has been considered, ultimately, as in Mary has final approval of the guest list; after all, it's her wedding.

注：红色是值得学习的地方，蓝色是我觉得有待商榷的地方，粉红色是我的评注。