2009进军美利坚作文8.24 我是..

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

不多不少正好250个字….自己简单改改单词. 辛苦了.

The passage demonstrated that Marco Polo as a worldwide traveler who had been to China has some doubts. And the speaker in the lecture refuted the perspective in the article by adopting more details and evidences.


First of all, Marco Polo had never been to China due to not using any Chinese for name of location from the passage. The speaker acclaimed that Persian was the first to make place and location names with their languages and it is reasonable for Marco Polo to adopt from Persian instead of using Chinese. Hence, the idea concerning the direction name was not effective enough to be supported.


Meanwhile, even if Marco Polo did not bring any Chinese tea culture in his books, it cannot show he did not visit China. The speaker refuted that tea drinking was popular in the South of China; Marco Polo may appear in the North part, where was not a tea drinking culture area.

Finally, the article supported its viewpoint through the fact of no Marco Polo's name on both Chinese and Mongols' record; so he had never been appointed to be a governor. Therefore, Marco Polo had not traveled to China. However, the speaker put her views that it is part of Chinese and Mongols culture not to keep people's real name in history. Hence, Marco Polo may use other name when he was being a governor of Yang Zhou. In the end, the speaker totally refuted the main idea from the passages with more evidences.

liuxiaoyinUID: 2631993

The passage demonstrated that Marco Polo as a worldwide traveler who had been to China has some doubts. And（用but，是转折） the speaker in the lecture refuted the perspective in the article by adopting more details and evidences.

First of all, Marco Polo had never been to China due to not using any Chinese for name of location from the passage. The speaker acclaimed that Persian was the first to make place and location names with their languages and it is reasonable for Marco Polo to adopt from Persian instead of using Chinese.感觉这句语法有点不对,adopt names in persian instead of Chinese. Hence, the idea concerning the direction name was not effective enough to be supported. 还有点点没说到，persian是当时中国对外贸易的语言~~~~

    Meanwhile, even if Marco Polo did not bring any Chinese tea culture in his books, it cannot show he did not visit China. The speaker refuted that tea drinking was popular in the South of China; Marco Polo may appear in the North part, where was not a tea drinking culture area.

Finally, the article supported its viewpoint through the fact of no Marco Polo's name on both Chinese and Mongols' record; so he had never been appointed to be a governor. Therefore, Marco Polo had not traveled to China. However, the speaker put her views that it is part of Chinese and Mongols culture not to keep people's real name in history. Hence, Marco Polo may use other name when he was being a governor of Yang Zhou. 落了一个点，他的名字可能被史官漏掉了。In the end, the speaker totally refuted the main idea from the passages with more evidences.这句可以去掉，我们老师说综合写作不用总结~~~~

总评：很好很流畅~~~~内容说得挺全了，呵呵。就是教授讲课和转述文章内容的时态我认为都用一般现在时就好，因为你通篇都是过去时，我也没给你改。

还有，谢谢你给我的点评阿，我再改改

wondersmiths2UID: 2609756

The passage demonstrated(为什么用过去式呀？) that Marco Polo as a worldwide traveler who had been to China has some doubts. And the speaker in the lecture refuted the perspective in the article by adopting more details and evidences.

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First of all, Marco Polo had never been to China due to not using any Chinese for names of locations from the passage. The speaker acclaimed that Persian was the first(什么？) to make place and location names with their language and it is reasonable for Marco Polo to adopt from Persian instead of using Chinese. Hence, the idea concerning the direction name was not effective enough to be supported. (第一个理由是说那个时代Persian很流行，所以Marco Polo用这些地名)
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Meanwhile, even if Marco Polo did not bring any Chinese tea culture in his books, it cannot show he did not visit China. The speaker refuted that tea drinking was popular in the South of China; Marco Polo may appear in the North part(应该是大部分时间住在北方), where was not a tea drinking culture area. 2 }) E. q9 ?# J) W3 x  U7 S7 a3 h

Finally, the article supported its viewpoint through the fact that no Marco Polo's name on both Chinese and Mongols' records;(为什么用分号) so he had never been appointed to be a governor. Therefore, Marco Polo had not traveled to China. However, the speaker put her views that it is part of Chinese and Mongols culture not to keep people's real name in history. Hence, Marco Polo may use other name when he was being a governor of Yang Zhou.(还有可能丢失了)In the end, the speaker totally refuted the main idea from the passages with more evidences.

总体不错，就是说理由时不够简洁，字数一般只要150-225就可以了，你这个有点长了。