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When the benefit of(between) the overall and individual interest [U]have a conflict[/U](就是conflict) , [U]many people should select themselves, which is granted as selfish[/U](表达有问题 which带的是什么) ; on the contrary, other people chose the overall benefit and abandon individual interest, which is always adorned as the altruism. As far as I am concerned, human being, as an ingredient of the society, should emphasize the overall and give up individual interest when they have some clash.
注意了 文章的主体是society 在你这里变成了individual!! 太绕了能不能直接给观点(个人意见)
Society is made up of different ingredients which are all indispensible for the society progress and human being evolvement.(看到这里,我的感觉就是太多which从句,应该灵活一点) Everyone seem(s) to [U]be nothing for [/U](什么意思??固定搭配??) others superficially, otherwise, an individual behavior and action may effect or change all society destination. For example, during the extremely times, SARS is very dangerous and detrimental contaminating illness. For(??) work through this doom, everyone should obey the populace interest when individual has obtained the illness, he/she should be willing to accept the therapy even be quarantined by doctor which will reduce the damage to the least. If everyone think for themselves and bring the illness everywhere, it will make the disaster more furious and severe even endanger more and more other people lives and health.(例子是不是应该简洁一点,突出重点) Moreover, the overall prosperity and wealth dependent on everyone endeavor instead of only some people. (怎么没有论证??)If people all think so, the society will stable and could not progress.
如果你的ts 是Society is made up of different ingredients which are all indispensible for the society progress and human being evolvement. 你的论证没有很好的围绕这个展开 indispensible体现在什么地方??
In addition, when there is conflict between individual and overall(the society), we should choose the overall interest instead of the individual. Because the populace interest more important than individual’s in some conditions.(why?这是common sense还是中国人的common sense?) [U]Such as the soldiers, the scholars, the doctors, the leaderships et al[/U] .(删) If the solider chose the individual, who will protect country from invading in the barrier of their homeland; if the scholars always pursue their own interest how can they have time and energy to further their research during the conflict exist; if the doctors have not the spirit of devoted to their medical enterprise, how can people lives healthy and robust; if the leadership just pursue their own benefit and even bribed, how the whole society maintain the stable and disciplined.例证不等于论证
However, human being have [U]accepted many lessons [/U](吸取教训的意思?那from后面也不对啊) from their individual interests. Nowadays, our society have many complicated problems and troubles; the creature around us are facing extinction and endangerment, people resource become more and more bare and insufficient for our further development because people have not make good use of these prosperity; people' environment become more and more unprofitable for living and bring about many complex situation and problems. We should retrospect what we have done for our own individual interests instead of considering the world as whole body. We should learn something from these lessons and have right direction. (这好像是因为人们为了眼前利益 而不是个人利益啊??)
To sum (up), we should put its own overall before the well-being of its individual citizens, if a society is to thrive and progress. When there is some conflict between them, we should select the populace benefit. which is the only way for the society to further more fluently and effectively
论证不好 我再仔细看看 |
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