16) Some people believe that in order to be effective, political leaders must yield to public ...
:p 美国现在通过同性婚姻法了呢 非常谢谢老师 本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-10-6 22:01 编辑
明天见小绿版主要商量一下如何在版面上推一些点评的活动。现在的想法是所有人都练同一套题，issue和argument各一篇。写完之后要求修改一次，看看之前的错误问题能否得到改善。根据之前的修改记录，目前已经整理出了一些常见的问题，可以专门发一个帖子。作为在点评后给大家参考的资源。比如看到某个问题，就不必多费唇舌，只需要指向那个帖子的某个代码即可。
我还想了解一下对于这些不同的问题，大家的反应如何。这里的反应包括，第一自己如果犯了这个错误，原因在哪里；第二知道自己犯了这个错误后有没有能力解决；第三是有没有能力在别人的文章中发现这个错误。我目前针对每种错误都有至少10个例子。可以针对每一种错误分别做一个简短的视频。让大家看完视频后，做一些相关的练习和问卷调查。
具体明天和小绿再讨论。希望10月10日（本博客开通一周年）开始推出一个系列的活动。
tesolchina 发表于 2015-10-6 21:55 static/image/common/back.gif
明天见小绿版主要商量一下如何在版面上推一些点评的活动。现在的想法是所有人都练同一套题，issue和argumen ...
大赞老师功德无量。看到您的博客前，我买了3,4本作文书，打算死磕。后来跟您的博客比较后，决定以您的博客为主复习。因为我下月要考了，时间比较紧，而您的方法思路清晰、入手快、效率高，比较节省时间。 王老师好，非常感谢您的这篇博客，以及您 对于GTER们不厌其烦的指导。我因为在职考G，准备的时间非常紧迫，一直没有顾上写作文呢。不过一直在默默地看您的博客，学习思路和语言。还有十天就考了，准备花大量时间来研究下您的思路、范文和提纲。
我的托福作文上月考过，25分，但独立作文只拿到FAIR，综合作文是GOOD。托福作文基本没有准备过，裸考的。GRE的作文明显难度要大很多，我还需要再好好学习和准备。
如果能考个自己满意的分数，回来汇报下；如果不好，我就遁了~~~~~~
Argument 101 示范
There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities.Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted
有同学考场上遇到这道题，现在回忆了一下，点击这里查看他的回忆和我的点评。以下是我写的示范。
The conclusion that people should move to small towns for longer and healthier lives is based on the comparison of two cases- Leeville and Masonton. A number of assumptions about why Leeville businesses reported fewer instances of sick leave, Leeville has fewer physicians and residents of older ages have been made and need to be examined critically in order to decide if the argument is valid.
It seems to be assumed in the argument that fewer days of sick leave taken by workers in Leevile indicate that people there enjoy better health. Yet, there might be other interpretations of the fact. For example, perhaps the businesses in the small town have more relaxing attendance policies. As result, workers could take a few days off when they are sick without formally applying for sick leaves. If this is the case, the number of sick leave reported by the businesses in Leeville may not accurately reflect the general health conditions of the Leeville residents. Also, due to the fact that fewer physicians are available in Leeville per resident, it probably takes more time and money to see a doctor, thereby deterring some people from taking sick leaves. Workers in Masonton might take more sick leaves simply because the businesses Masonton provided better health insurance coverage for its employees.
It is further assumed that Leeville has lower physician-to-residents ratio because people there are healthier and do not need as many physicians. This assumption may not hold as other explanations for the lower ratio might be more reasonable. As mentioned earlier, it is possible that Masonton businesses spend more money on health insurance for employees, thereby creating a stronger demand for physicians in the city. On the supply side, perhaps more physicians choose to work in Masonton due to the higher income level, higher standard of living and better infrastructure for health care. With better access to physicians and other health care resources, perhaps Masonton residents would enjoy better health and longer lives than those in Leeville.
The third assumption is that the higher average age of Leeville residents necessarily means that residents there can live longer lives. Perhaps Leeville is a town more friendly to older people for a number of reasons. For one thing, it is possible that the town offers cheaper nursing homes for the elderly, thereby attracting more older people to move in. It is also possible that due to limited job opportunities available in Leeville, most younger people have left the town, leaving behind the older residents and driving up the average age. We need to collect more information about why the average age of Leeville residents is older to decide if Leeville offers a better environment for living long lives.
The final assumption made in the argument is that Leeville and Masonton are typical communities that can represent the small towns and large cities that the readers have to choose for where to live. This assumption may not hold true as large cities and small towns across the US can be very different in terms of environment, infrastructure and economic development. The characteristics of Leevile and Masonton in terms of age of population, physician-to-resident ratio and number of sick leaves may not be found in other small towns and big cities. A comparison of two cases can hardly support the general conclusion reached at the end of the argument.
Overall speaking, the assumptions discussed above should be carefully examined in light of more evidence and information to decide if the conclusion is reasonable. 王老师您好，最近一直在看您的教程，写了一篇全文，想请您有时间帮忙看看有哪些问题，应该从哪些方面加强。
ISSUE 01
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Whether our ability of think creatively will deteriorate or not depends on differences of the fields technologies are applied in. In ordinary life, it may hold true that we are losing our ability to think independently. In the field of science and technology, people will not lose the opportunities to think by themselves. For the ones who study the process of thinking , technologies also cannot replace human in critical thinking.
Thanks to the development of technologies, our life is becoming more and more convenient. We can reach our family easily with our mobile phones, we are freed from onerous housework by washing-machines. Meanwhile, time to make decisions by ourselves are becoming less and less. For example, decades ago, families enjoy their weekends in many ways, they went out for hiking, they read in the libraries, they played basketball. But now, with powerful recreation function of iPads and TVs, more families choose to spend their spare time at home, watching movies or playing games. In other words, they just enjoy the entertainment these electronic devices bring us without finding out what else they could do to make their children happy.
Fortunately, our jobs keep us thinking all the time. For the scientists and engineers who are responsible for developing technologies, there is no doubt that they rely more on their own thinking than that of machines. While create a new device, engineers will surely use existing software or facilities to bring their imagination into reality. For example, during the initial design phase, technicians usually draw the prototype out in digital design software and compared with the time without this technology, this process will save much time revising the material models. However, the strongest competence of a designer is not the skills to use such software, but the ability to bring his imagination into reality, and this procedure cannot be accomplished without his own thinking.
Similarly, for people who devote themselves to the study of the process of thinking, such as philosophy or sociology, technologies are also indispensable. In analyzing the surveys and statistics, computer software are always the most efficient methods. But they never focus on these software itself, they pay more attention on how these numbers can be applied to a theory and no software could replace these professionals in digging the relations out.
In a word, in recent years, technologies have changed our life completely. It may hold true that we are depending more on different machines in ordinary life. However, during our work time, no matter how functional these tools can be, the principle problems can only be solved by our critical thinking.
bit_liang 发表于 2015-10-8 09:14 static/image/common/back.gif
王老师您好，最近一直在看您的教程，写了一篇全文，想请您有时间帮忙看看有哪些问题，应该从哪些方面加强。 ...
Whether our ability of think creatively will deteriorate or not depends on differences of the fields technologies are applied in. 第一句话的句子结构就有问题啊 然后意思也不是很清楚 你先改了第一句 我再往下看吧
tesolchina 发表于 2015-10-8 12:11 static/image/common/back.gif
Whether our ability of think creatively will deteriorate or not depends on differences of the fiel ...
ISSUE 01
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Whether our ability to think creatively will deteriorate or not depends on which field technologies are applied to. In ordinary life, it may hold true that we are losing our ability to think independently. In the field of science and technology, people will not lose the opportunities to think by themselves. For the ones who study the process of thinking , technologies also cannot replace them in critical thinking.
Thanks to the development of technologies, our life is becoming more and more convenient. We can reach our family easily with mobile phones, we are freed from onerous housework by washing-machines and we can see the photos if we want from digital cameras. Meanwhile, time for making decisions by ourselves are becoming less and less. For example, decades ago, families enjoy their weekends in numerous ways, they went out for hiking, they read in the libraries, they played basketball in the stadium. But now, with powerful recreational function of iPads and TVs, more families choose to spend their spare time at home, watching movies or playing games. In other words, they just enjoy the entertainment these electronic devices bring us without finding out what else they could do to make themselves or their families relaxed.
Fortunately, our jobs keep us from losing ourselves in these small screens. For the scientists and engineers who are responsible for developing technologies, there is no doubt that they rely more on their own thinking than that of machines. While create a new device, engineers will surely use existing software or facilities to realize their thoughts. For example, during the initial design phase, technicians usually draw prototypes out in digital design software. Compared with the traditional designing method, this process saves much time revising the material models. However, the competitiveness of a designer is not reflected from skills to use such software, but the ability to bring his imagination into reality, and this procedure cannot be accomplished without his own thinking.
Similarly, for people who devote themselves to the study of the process of thinking, such as philosophy or sociology, technologies are also indispensable. In analyzing the surveys and statistics, computer software are the most efficient methods. But they never focus on the software itself, they concentrate on how these numbers can be applied to a theory and no software could replace these professionals in digging the relations out.
In a word, in recent years, technologies have changed our life completely. It may hold true that we are depending more on different machines in ordinary life. However, during our work time, no matter how functional these tools can be, the principle problems can only be solved by our own critical thinking. bit_liang 发表于 2015-10-8 14:37 static/image/common/back.gif
ISSUE 01
你的第二段 整段没有提到solve problem 写了很多关于生活如何方便 却没有回应题目中的关键词
希望其他同学也引以为鉴
另外这个句子的表达也有问题time for making decisions by ourselves are becoming less and less.
写成 we spent less time ... 今天第一天写全文，前几天按照老师的方法练习了开头段。我托福作文还好考了28分，但基本考试都是根据自己经历乱扯一通，可能对考官胃口，没有大的语法上的错误。但是对看中逻辑的GRE作文还是蛮畏惧的。希望老师能拨冗帮我看一下。
这篇文章大概计时25分钟，中间停停写写，确实还不太熟。后来回去看了看老师范文，又在段落结尾加了句话。而且全文没写结尾。
argument 14
The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
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An article suggests that a company recruit people without needing much sleep to achieve better performance based on a study involving 300 subjects. We need to consider the assumptions on sleeping data of all employees other than executives, sleeping conditions of executives in other industries and causes of better performance.
To begin with, it is assumed that all employees can achieve better performance other than executives. We need to bear out this assumption by considering general staffs or workers' workload. For instance, general staffs, like designers, salesman and secretaries in advertising companies, might be tied up with a long list of tasks everyday. Consequently, they could be extremely exhausted at night. Hence, for general workers, deprivation of sleeping would make them even harder to work efficiently.
Also, it is assumed that this result of study can extend to other industries. However, it does not necessarily hold. For some big companies like Huawei, a Fortune 500 electric equipment tycoon in China,some of their top executives even have to fly to several cities during one week. In that case, it is evident not feasible to sleep less than 6 hours per day, because they need more sleep to be refreshing. Therefore, without further information about executives’ lifestyles in other industries, this suggestion might be treated with caution.
Moreover, the article implicitly assumes that less sleep of executives results in better performance of the company. Actually, a third dominant factor might determine both executives' sleeping and a company's higher profit. For example, the advertising company might get a salvo of orders because of economic recovery. As a result, all the employees have to work until midnight in order to complete their tasks. Designers have to produce their advertising schemes and executives must look into and revise those schemes, leading to their less sleeping. Hence, more orders matter. However, if a economic turmoil then hits the company who continue to recruit people with less sleep, it would make the situation worse, because the company shrugs off real causes behind the ostensible relationship between less sleep and higher profit. tobinz 发表于 2015-10-8 22:34 static/image/common/back.gif
今天第一天写全文，前几天按照老师的方法练习了开头段。我托福作文还好考了28分，但基本考试都是根据自己经 ...
首先 argument的内容相对固定 建议发习作前先比对我的范文或提纲 找出差异 再有针对的提出问题
其次你第二段开头的it is assumed that all employees can achieve better performance other than executives 没有说清楚题目表达的意思
第三举例的时候没有必要提华为这么具体的公司
最后你明显漏了很多重要的point 比如reported needing和need之间的区别
本帖最后由 tobinz 于 2015-10-9 08:07 编辑
tesolchina 发表于 2015-10-9 06:46 static/image/common/back.gif
首先 argument的内容相对固定 建议发习作前先比对我的范文或提纲 找出差异 再有针对的提出问题
其次你第 ...
谢谢您。我回去好好研读您的范文，再思考！开始觉得只要挑出三个错误就好，现在感觉应该先说主要错误。 tesolchina 发表于 2014-12-30 08:13 static/image/common/back.gif
57 The main benefit of the study of history is to dispel the illusion that people living now are sig ...
厉害 tesolchina 发表于 2015-2-24 00:54 static/image/common/back.gif
4) Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or refor ...
I like your points and evidence listed in this issue article. But I still have a concern about whether it is appropriate to use words like "sex" or even "oral sex" in a GRE essay?{:meng:}