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标题: 【独立写作】alexcui作业贴 [打印本页]

作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-23 20:46:41     标题: 【独立写作】alexcui作业贴

本帖最后由 alexcui 于 2012-12-26 13:18 编辑

10.25作业[[attach]197097[/attach]
作者: mengliuqd    时间: 2012-8-24 21:06:52

呼哧改完了,等不到你的17就只能先改20了 不然被秋版发现没及时改别人作业可要处罚的
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-24 22:16:08

mengliuqd 发表于 2012-8-24 21:06
呼哧改完了,等不到你的17就只能先改20了 不然被秋版发现没及时改别人作业可要处罚的


tpo 17 综合写作,抱歉我交晚了

The professor in the lecture argues that the growth of human population and agriculture has not caused harm to birds in United States. But, the reading passage goes against the opinion. The lecture casts doubt on the reading passage by using several points.
First, according to the professor in the lecture, the urban development truly provides larger habitats for other types of birds. More and more birds are likely to live in the cities than before. This contradict what the reading passage indicates, because in the reading passage, as human populations and settlements continue to expand, bird’s natural habitats will continue to disappear. There is no information mentioned about the situation in cities.
Second, the professor in the lecture believes that one of new type of corns is introducing into the agricultural activities.  This type of corns can produce more corns for unity land than it was. No more land will be used for agricultural activities. On the contrary, the reading passage contends that the growth of agriculture will result in the further destruction of bird habitats.
Third, in the lecture, the professor says that human are aware of the harmful effect from the using of chemical pesticides. So they try to use new type pesticides that are much less poisons and grow pest resistant crops that have no negative influence on birds , which refutes the points in the reading passage. In the reading passage, the use of chemical pesticides would lead to the population of bird’s decline, since pesticides are poisons and prevent birds from reproducing successfully.


作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-24 22:30:48

8月24号的独立写作,请大家指正


The best way to learn about a foreign country is to read the newspapers and magazines from that country.

With the development of globalization, people are more likely to learn about a foreign country. So what it the best way to acquire information of foreign countries has been discussed. Someone prefers reading the newspapers and magazines, while others prefer living in foreign countries or watch TV for personal experience. In my opinion, I definitely agree the people who want to live in aboard or watch TV for information about that country. Reasons listed below will firmly support my post.

First of all, living in the country enhances us be familiar with local people, society and culture. As we all know, the reason why people know their hometown deeply is the place is the motherland for people, who was born here and has been here for many years. So if people want to learn about a foreign country, living in that country is one of the greatest choices for them. Under this situation, you can go shopping with local people, and play games with name, even live with them. Take my own as an example, I have been in Australia for two years, I almost do everything with local people, like studying, playing and so on. As a result I formed a clear image about the difference between Australia and my hometown, which is never be obtained from newspapers and magazines.

Second, watching TV is another convenient way to absorb relative information about a foreign country. Since there are so many programs about foreign countries, people are offered huge information can choose. One of the famous programs named Discovery, which broadcasts various areas about a foreign country. In this TV program, it introduces almost every country around the world with the special culture in there or the uncommon events happening there. In general, those who cannot afford the fee for living in a foreign country may divert to this way, which costs little, but still gains as much information as possible for you need.

Last not the least, reading the newspapers and magazines from that country leads to some bias. As it is known to all, the article or the pictures which are in the newspaper and magazines may include writers' own judgments. This would has influence on others, especially the one who eager to learn about this country.

To sum up, considering the reasons mention I imply that instead of reading newspaper and magazines from that country, it is more suitable to go there or watch TV program which provide a attractive sight of foreign countries.



作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-24 22:32:31

tpo17 综合写作
The professor in the lecture argues that the growth of human population and agriculture has not caused harm to birds in United States. But, the reading passage goes against the opinion. The lecture casts doubt on the reading passage by using several points.
First, according to the professor in the lecture, the urban development truly provides larger habitats for other types of birds. More and more birds are likely to live in the cities than before. This contradict what the reading passage indicates, because in the reading passage, as human populations and settlements continue to expand, bird’s natural habitats will continue to disappear. There is no information mentioned about the situation in cities.
Second, the professor in the lecture believes that one of new type of corns is introducing into the agricultural activities.  This type of corns can produce more corns for unity land than it was. No more land will be used for agricultural activities. On the contrary, the reading passage contends that the growth of agriculture will result in the further destruction of bird habitats.
Third, in the lecture, the professor says that human are aware of the harmful effect from the using of chemical pesticides. So they try to use new type pesticides that are much less poisons and grow pest resistant crops that have no negative influence on birds , which refutes the points in the reading passage. In the reading passage, the use of chemical pesticides would lead to the population of bird’s decline, since pesticides are poisons and prevent birds from reproducing successfully.


作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-24 22:52:30

mengliuqd 发表于 2012-8-24 21:06
呼哧改完了,等不到你的17就只能先改20了 不然被秋版发现没及时改别人作业可要处罚的

感觉有点问题,自己刚贴的TPO17和独立写作均不见踪影,然后昨天的独立写作也被版主删除
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-24 23:36:09


请大家拍砖(同时庆祝我终于可以上传WORD文件了)

[attach]187798[/attach]


作者: 秋雨荆州    时间: 2012-8-24 23:50:01

alexcui 发表于 2012-8-24 22:52
感觉有点问题,自己刚贴的TPO17和独立写作均不见踪影,然后昨天的独立写作也被版主删除


i'm sry,不是版主删的;P是系统最近老是出问题~
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-24 23:54:45

秋雨荆州 发表于 2012-8-24 23:50
i'm sry,不是版主删的是系统最近老是出问题~

没关系,没关系,是我太心急了,妄下判断了, 谢谢你帮我处理了问题,
作者: 訢宇    时间: 2012-8-25 01:52:23

本帖最后由 訢宇 于 2012-8-25 01:57 编辑

同学,你的作文我改好了,但是我现在不能发附件,有木有其他方法我把Word文档发给你,全文粘贴看着好奇怪。另:我只改了独立,综合怎么写我都还没怎么看……嗯,我争取周日之前把综合给你改好~哦,还有我的作文被系统吞掉了,发出来马上通知你~
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-25 07:25:47

訢宇 发表于 2012-8-25 01:52
同学,你的作文我改好了,但是我现在不能发附件,有木有其他方法我把Word文档发给你,全文粘贴看着好奇怪。 ...

太感谢了,2点了还在改我的作业,系统吃作业找秋雨荆州,我也遇到过这个问题,然后不能出word是因为你是新手上路,多留言一旦变成寄托新兵就可以啦。。我的邮箱654044180@qq.com。。。然后我晚点会修改你的作业,互相学习,互相进步。。谢谢啦
作者: 訢宇    时间: 2012-8-25 09:27:41

修改已发送~作业依然被吞中TTATT
作者: 訢宇    时间: 2012-8-25 14:36:35

我的作文终于发出来了,满脸血= =https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3310389[/url]
作者: SYNCIA    时间: 2012-8-25 18:32:57

[attach]187913[/attach][attach]187912[/attach] 已批改。 多交流~ 我的作业贴:https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... =1399644&extra= 另外,因为TPO综合我没做,明儿考试,所以,我主要看了一下楼主文章的框架思路提了点意见。
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-26 12:30:57

訢宇 发表于 2012-8-25 14:36
我的作文终于发出来了,满脸血= =【IBT写作小组】訢宇备考帖 https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewt ...

不好意思,昨天去参加托福考试了,回来累坏了,晚上还去加班,没有及时修改,请原谅。[attach]188039[/attach]

[attach]188039[/attach]
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-26 12:54:03

SYNCIA 发表于 2012-8-25 18:32
已批改。 多交流~ 我的作业贴:https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1399644&extra= 另 ...

[attach]188040[/attach]
昨天去考试,现在才修改,按照你的文章,25号的考试应该不是问题,25号的写作并不难
作者: kelly.zheng    时间: 2012-8-29 18:28:34

改晚了,不好意思啦~~~
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-29 20:13:17

kelly.zheng 发表于 2012-8-29 18:28
改晚了,不好意思啦~~~

没有关系,真心谢谢你写的评语
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-29 22:00:41

[attach]188503[/attach]
29号作业,欢迎大家来拍砖
作者: 訢宇    时间: 2012-8-30 21:43:58

已改,请过目~
[attach]188607[/attach]
另,我的作文可能要拖一拖了,最近特别忙,我都已经没有颜面去组里占座了……总之,更新了会通知楼主哈~提前谢过!
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-30 21:47:39

訢宇 发表于 2012-8-30 21:43
已改,请过目~

另,我的作文可能要拖一拖了,最近特别忙,我都已经没有颜面去组里占座了……总之,更新了 ...

没事,工作忙也没有办法啊
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-8-31 23:37:30

[attach]188727[/attach]
8.31号的文章
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-1 12:13:39

[attach]188743[/attach]
TPO18 综合写作
作者: yayayyya    时间: 2012-9-2 08:18:13

不好意思 改晚了
另外这是我的作文贴 拜托啦
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1436068-1-1.html
作者: lee大乐    时间: 2012-9-3 00:30:29

已改,共勉

作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-4 16:17:14

[attach]189083[/attach]
晚了,不好意思

作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-4 17:03:55

本帖最后由 张君临001 于 2012-9-4 17:22 编辑
alexcui 发表于 2012-9-4 16:17
晚了,不好意思


https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1438515-1-1.html
这是我的0903的,麻烦多多指教
[attach]189089[/attach]你的已经修改,一点建议
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-5 21:03:50

张君临001 发表于 2012-9-4 17:03
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1438515-1-1.html
这是我的0903的,麻烦多多指教
你的已经修改,一点 ...

[attach]189181[/attach]
以后就找你了
作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-5 22:00:12

alexcui 发表于 2012-9-5 21:03
以后就找你了

被你发现了,30分钟写不出来
囧~
作者: wuxiang0220    时间: 2012-9-5 22:37:52

已改,不好意思,晚了
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-6 15:10:53

张君临001 发表于 2012-9-5 22:00
被你发现了,30分钟写不出来
囧~

稍微心里平衡点了,看完你的文章在看自己的,想哭的心都有了
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-6 18:57:42

[attach]189277[/attach]
对自己同组的朋友有点不好意思,因为自己工作,作业总是晚交,不好意思了
作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-6 22:18:59

alexcui 发表于 2012-9-6 18:57
对自己同组的朋友有点不好意思,因为自己工作,作业总是晚交,不好意思了

我来改了~


作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-6 22:19:40

alexcui 发表于 2012-9-6 18:57
对自己同组的朋友有点不好意思,因为自己工作,作业总是晚交,不好意思了


我来改啦~
稍后送上~


作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-6 22:20:03

张君临001 发表于 2012-9-6 22:18
我来改了~

嘿嘿,i am waiting
作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-6 22:50:33

alexcui 发表于 2012-9-6 22:20
嘿嘿,i am waiting

[attach]189291[/attach]
共勉~:victory:
作者: wp3026557    时间: 2012-9-6 23:14:21

已改,多交流~~

作者: yyj.1988    时间: 2012-9-6 23:17:51

请过目!
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-8 10:50:48

[attach]189417[/attach]
。。。。很坦诚的告诉大家,我的9.6作业在这,然后我懒懒的前天干完活就死都不想动了,自己都感觉很罪恶,请拍砖
作者: frozensmile    时间: 2012-9-8 15:14:02

alexcui 发表于 2012-9-8 10:50
。。。。很坦诚的告诉大家,我的9.6作业在这,然后我懒懒的前天干完活就死都不想动了,自己都感觉很罪恶, ...

[attach]189427[/attach]
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-8 20:52:55

frozensmile 发表于 2012-9-8 15:14

泪奔,看完你的评语~~~~~~
作者: mingneng    时间: 2012-9-8 20:54:55

汗啊
作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-8 23:45:15

[attach]189458[/attach]
lalala~
改完了~
恭喜楼主功力日日精进~
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-9 13:07:19

张君临001 发表于 2012-9-8 23:45
lalala~
改完了~
恭喜楼主功力日日精进~

可惜也不是30分钟完成的,总感觉没思路,然后写写就疲倦了。
作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-9 16:52:17

alexcui 发表于 2012-9-9 13:07
可惜也不是30分钟完成的,总感觉没思路,然后写写就疲倦了。

握爪啊~
最近我这边也有点松散的说~
来来~帮我也改改啦~
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... xtra=#pid1776202405
作者: yyj.1988    时间: 2012-9-9 17:26:00

传的晚了,不好意思。。。请见谅!
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-13 00:09:21

[attach]189808[/attach]
很想知道我是作业及时还是实际上交晚了
作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-13 07:05:06

alexcui 发表于 2012-9-13 00:09
很想知道我是作业及时还是实际上交晚了


我要闭关修炼几天,所以近几日不写作文了
你的修改我待会儿奉上
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-13 08:15:34

张君临001 发表于 2012-9-13 07:05
我要闭关修炼几天,所以近几日不写作文了
你的修改我待会儿奉上

孩纸,你肿了?
作者: wuxiang0220    时间: 2012-9-13 08:48:35

已改,互相交流
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-13 13:21:43

wuxiang0220 发表于 2012-9-13 08:48
已改,互相交流

文章很早就写过了,现在感觉越写越疲惫。也不知道咋了
作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-13 19:04:05

alexcui 发表于 2012-9-13 00:09
很想知道我是作业及时还是实际上交晚了

这个我没写,不好改。
我就是想抓一抓口语所以先放放写作
作者: tom_cybamic    时间: 2012-9-13 19:48:13

[attach]189881[/attach]
已改,多交流~
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-13 20:13:05

张君临001 发表于 2012-9-13 19:04
这个我没写,不好改。
我就是想抓一抓口语所以先放放写作

口语我也是心病
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-13 20:26:50

[attach]189882[/attach]
写的不咋的,请大家原谅
作者: 和尚的梳子    时间: 2012-9-14 08:43:18

0913 已修改
[attach]189914[/attach]
下面是我的 求批改
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1447989-1-2.html
作者: 神探夏洛克    时间: 2012-9-14 08:46:59

修改好了。[attach]189915[/attach]
作者: tom_cybamic    时间: 2012-9-15 12:34:20

麻烦下次在独立写作小组上附上你的作文链接吧,其他人还得搜索你的帖子才能找到文章~
最好就把作文放在一个固定的地方,不然找的有点费劲喔~我还得时不时登陆看看你是否上传了文章~不太方便呵~
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-15 17:57:40

tom_cybamic 发表于 2012-9-15 12:34
麻烦下次在独立写作小组上附上你的作文链接吧,其他人还得搜索你的帖子才能找到文章~
最好就把作文放在一个 ...

OK
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-15 17:58:23

tom_cybamic 发表于 2012-9-15 12:34
麻烦下次在独立写作小组上附上你的作文链接吧,其他人还得搜索你的帖子才能找到文章~
最好就把作文放在一个 ...

[attach]190070[/attach]
9.14
作者: Yornan    时间: 2012-9-15 20:04:45

提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽
作者: tom_cybamic    时间: 2012-9-16 09:24:57

[attach]190104[/attach]
已改~
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-19 09:08:00

[attach]190386[/attach]9.18
作者: Julia蜗牛    时间: 2012-9-19 20:21:09

好像又改的眼花缭乱了...什么时候才能排版的好点捏...原谅我吧~~~~自己看都觉得各种罗嗦~~~:mad:


作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-19 20:28:44

Julia蜗牛 发表于 2012-9-19 20:21
好像又改的眼花缭乱了...什么时候才能排版的好点捏...原谅我吧~~~~自己看都觉得各种罗嗦~~~

实际上你改的挺好的,真是谢谢了,如此的认真负责
作者: ZoeX    时间: 2012-9-20 00:25:37

本帖最后由 ZoeX 于 2012-9-20 00:29 编辑

不好意思改晚了,之前我以为你把链接帖子作业贴那里的……
[attach]190468[/attach]
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-20 08:44:25

ZoeX 发表于 2012-9-20 00:25
不好意思改晚了,之前我以为你把链接帖子作业贴那里的……

没事,我下次直接贴给你就是
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-20 13:43:25

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... p;page=9&extra=
9.19号作业
作者: Chel_sea    时间: 2012-9-20 15:38:12

已改~
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-21 20:58:34

[attach]190600[/attach]9.20
作者: 日落战托福    时间: 2012-9-21 21:12:34

楼主, 你是用什么软件改的?APP?还有怎么上传附件啊
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-21 21:27:57

日落战托福 发表于 2012-9-21 21:12
楼主, 你是用什么软件改的?APP?还有怎么上传附件啊

亲爱的,多发言,多提问,多学习,只有在论坛这么做,才能有更多的积分,才能升级,才能到了一定的级别,可以发附件。才可以如神一般存在着。譬如:秋雨
作者: 日落战托福    时间: 2012-9-21 21:42:07

Do you agree or disagree: The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees'

“The talents are the most important strategy “is a frequently used saying. However, some people contradicts that other fields in company strategy , such as elaborate financial budget, impressive marketing and comprehensive after-sale service, also have crucial roles. As far as I am concerned, this view is far too simplistic to neglect the efficiency and few errors that are from skillful employees I strongly stand by the position that improving the skill of company's employee is the most significant investment.

Admittedly, the notable companies always boast their excellent financial budget, gorgeous marketing, and powerful after-sale service which enable them to precede others. To some extent, all the factors I mentioned are very essential to the company. However, without skillful employee who can integrate them, the company cannot be organised properly. This is common to us, some of the companies are equipped with extreme hardware facilities when they establish. Because of lacking skillful employee to operate those facilities, all the staffs are out of work and a company is going to collapse.

One of the benefits from training is to improve the efficiency of work. Take my own experience as an example. Three years ago, there was a new accounting information system introducing to my job. At the first beginning, I was totally confused by the system, because I had no idea to operate it accurately. Under this situation, I was required to take part into seven-days training courses which was organised by the company. After that, I became familiar with the system, working more efficiently than before.
下面这句读的别扭。
Another benefit that is provided by investing for promoting the skills of employees is fewer errors during work. As we all know, reducing the incidence of error is of great consequence to the success of the company. The best way to achieve this is to give competent and better training to the employees. The more high quality trainings were given to employees, the less error likely they will make in their job. What’s more, the less error made leads to be free of the daily hard work. With extra time, people can specialize in their sections as well as routine ones. Google would be one of the companies who are famous for offering custom training for employee in order to ensure the improvement of their skills. As a result of that, Google specialized in the hi-tech areas due to a myriad of the talents with fewer errors.

In a nutshell, considering the reasons I mentioned above, there is no doubt that instead of others strategy, like marketing, budget, customer service, investing in the human resource in order to improve the skills of the employee would be the most important decision for the company.

楼主词汇和语法好强,几乎没什么错误。
个人感觉含有绝对词的问题一边倒是不是有风险?求讨论。因为这种问题没有对和错。

作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-21 22:24:10

日落战托福 发表于 2012-9-21 21:42
Do you agree or disagree: The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its ...

这是写作,不是论文,只有说的有理有据就行。
作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-21 23:22:24

亲爱的,long time no see,等我923考完回来和你交流经验哦
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-21 23:48:52

张君临001 发表于 2012-9-21 23:22
亲爱的,long time no see,等我923考完回来和你交流经验哦

加油,加油~~
作者: 欣荷    时间: 2012-9-22 10:09:15

Do you agree or disagree: The most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees'

“The talents are the most important strategy “is a frequently used saying. However, some people contradicts that other fields in company strategy , such as elaborate financial budget, impressive marketing and comprehensive after-sale service, also have crucial roles. As far as I am concerned, this view is far too simplistic to neglect the efficiency and few errors that are from skillful employees (不知道你表达的是什么意思 I strongly stand by the position that improving the skill of company's employee is the most significant investment.

Admittedly, the notable companies always boast their excellent financial budget, gorgeous marketing, and powerful after-sale service which enable them to precede. To some extent, all the factors I mentioned are very essential to the company. However, without skillful employee who can integrate them, the company cannot be organised properly. This is common to us, some of the companies are equipped with extreme hardware facilities when they establish. Because of lacking skillful employee to operate those facilities, all the staffs are out of work and a company is going to collapse. 这句话能不能再简练一些呢,比如说, it is a common phenomenon that, even though some companies  are initially built up with sophisticated hardware facilities, they eventually failed to collapse because of lacking skillful employee to enable to operate those facilities.

One of the benefits from staff training is to improve the efficiency of work. Take my own experience as an example. Three years ago, there was a new accounting information system introducing (introduced) to my job. At the very first beginning, I was totally confused by the system, because I have no idea to operate it accurately. Under this situation, I was required to take part into seven-days (seven-day) training course which was organised by the company. After that, I became familiar with the system, working more efficiently than before.

Another benefit that is provided by investing for promoting the skills of employees is fewer errors during work. As we all know, reducing the incidence of error is of great consequence to the success of the company. The best way to achieve this is to give competent and better training to the employees. The more high quality trainings were given to employees, the less likely they will made errors in their job. (这句话写的很好哦)What’s more, the less errors made leads to be free of the daily hard work(感觉这句话表达的不是很恰当,你想表达的是工作错误少的话,可以结余时间,那么可不可以说 shorten the time to finish their tasks 之类). With extrasaved time, people can specialize in their sections as well as routine ones. Google would be one of the companies who are famous for offering custom training for employee in order to ensure the improvement of their skills. As a result of that, Google specialized in the hi-tech areas due to a myriad of the talents with fewer errors.

In a nutshell, considering the reasons I mentioned above, although there is no doubt that instead of (删)others strategy, like marketing, budget, customer service play vital roles in managing a company , investing in the human resource in order to improve the skills of the employee would be the most important decision for the company.

总体感觉你思路清晰,观点明确,用词比我的更为丰富,句子结构也有多样性,写的很好,只是有些地方可能表达的有些不太明确,然后开头 你那个too to 结构我有点晕。
同时,谢谢你帮我修改,哈哈。

作者: 张君临001    时间: 2012-9-23 22:07:15

考试归来,千言万语一句话, 信竹子机经,拿下托福。
预测神准
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-9-24 10:50:23

张君临001 发表于 2012-9-23 22:07
考试归来,千言万语一句话, 信竹子机经,拿下托福。
预测神准

既然你都这么说了,那我就收下了
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-10-27 20:36:46

不好意思,因为周末加班,所以晚了[attach]192651[/attach]
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-10-27 21:08:29

张君临001 发表于 2012-9-23 22:07
考试归来,千言万语一句话, 信竹子机经,拿下托福。
预测神准

考的怎么样?

作者: feihong76    时间: 2012-10-27 21:14:25

1026批改稿
[attach]192657[/attach]

为梦想加油!

作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-10-27 21:28:02

feihong76 发表于 2012-10-27 21:14
1026批改稿

我感觉用词很少。其实我不追求那种特别sophisticated的词,但要感觉整体通顺,关于你提出的例子那个问题,的确用mark zuckerberg要好很多
作者: feihong76    时间: 2012-10-27 21:35:03

alexcui 发表于 2012-10-27 21:28
我感觉用词很少。其实我不追求那种特别sophisticated的词,但要感觉整体通顺,关于你提出的例子那个问题, ...

以我第一次考试的经历来看, 不用追求词汇的华丽, 只要句子通顺, 看上去有道理就行了

楼主加油啊!!!
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-10-27 21:41:55

feihong76 发表于 2012-10-27 21:35
以我第一次考试的经历来看, 不用追求词汇的华丽, 只要句子通顺, 看上去有道理就行了

楼主加油啊!!!

对,就是这样的
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-10-28 11:03:10

[attach]192664[/attach]10.27作业,请大家看看
作者: 海上的月亮    时间: 2012-10-28 23:43:04

[attach]192709[/attach]  已修改。
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-10-31 19:54:00

[attach]192788[/attach]10.30作业
作者: Darren_Van    时间: 2012-11-1 10:22:19

[attach]192835[/attach]
别忘了改我的哟~https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1456179-1-1.html
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-11-1 13:51:04

Darren_Van 发表于 2012-11-1 10:22
别忘了改我的哟~https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1456179-1-1.html

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... =1456179&page=2 昨天给你撒
作者: 星城    时间: 2012-11-1 14:18:58

10.31的作业呢~
顺便给下我的地址https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... xtra=#pid1776324964
作者: Darren_Van    时间: 2012-11-1 19:49:33

alexcui 发表于 2012-11-1 13:51
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1456179&page=2 昨天给你撒

sorry···没看到~~~
作者: Darren_Van    时间: 2012-11-1 19:56:15

本帖最后由 Darren_Van 于 2012-11-1 19:58 编辑

多谢修改~
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-11-1 20:04:24

[attach]192848[/attach] 10.31作业
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-11-1 20:06:22

星城 发表于 2012-11-1 14:18
10.31的作业呢~
顺便给下我的地址https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1471043&pid=17 ...

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... xtra=#pid1776325980
作者: elisawuliang    时间: 2012-11-1 20:32:35

提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-11-1 20:43:55

星城 发表于 2012-11-1 14:18
10.31的作业呢~
顺便给下我的地址https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1471043&pid=17 ...

[attach]192853[/attach] 已经改好。欢迎交换意见
作者: 星城    时间: 2012-11-1 21:52:30

已修改~[attach]192858[/attach]
作者: alexcui    时间: 2012-11-1 22:47:19

星城 发表于 2012-11-1 21:52
已修改~

恩,你说的我觉得挺有道理的,只有一个例子,但时间不够了。。比较悲催
作者: 星城    时间: 2012-11-2 00:00:56

alexcui 发表于 2012-11-1 22:47
恩,你说的我觉得挺有道理的,只有一个例子,但时间不够了。。比较悲催

有收获就好,刚开始改文章,可能不够专业
话说我重新修改了下自己的作文,你能给些建议吗?[attach]192863[/attach]




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