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标题: issue同主题写作第五类 8月20-21日 [打印本页]

作者: tesolchina 时间: 2017-8-11 12:49:31 标题: issue同主题写作第五类 8月20-21日

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2017-8-20 19:46 编辑

5) Leadership (8<111,149>, 16<50, 86, 114, 115, 139>, 62, 69, 104<107>, 123<128>)

今、明两天练习第五类issue题，请在以上题目中选一道练习写提纲（包括开头段和中间段的主题句）。今天的学习重点是段落间句子的连贯性。英语里有两个词Coherence和Cohesion，意思有区别，但是这里不细说。连贯性是文章和杂乱无章的文字的关键性区别，因此确保自己的文章的连贯性事关你的文章的质量。

视频链接
今、明两天除了要写第四类issue提纲外，还请大家参与对连贯性的分析。在看完视频讲解后，挑选一段范文（或者自己在欧美英语杂志、报纸上的议论文）的一段话和自己习作的一段话来分析连贯性是如何实现的。

今天是第七次同主题写作，整个8月共有12次，也就是说活动刚刚过半。今天的视频我采用了新的制作流程，先用Audacity录制音频，然后剪切编辑，再放入Camtasia里播放并录制屏幕，希望这样做出来的效果比之前的视频要流畅一些。制作视频虽然比较花时间，但是，如果做得好的话，可以反复使用，让很多很多人收益，这样前期的投入也是值得的。作为老师，我不太喜欢重复的劳动，而希望多花时间在开拓性的工作上，因此希望通过制作视频来减少重复自己。这项工作才刚刚起步，很高兴能借助寄托这个平台，接触到部分有心学习英语写作的同学，希望我们都能从这次活动中收益，因此希望大家对我的教学材料包括视频和练习多提意见。

接下来几次活动，我建议从以下几方面着手改进：
1）加强对习作的批改和点评-这件事比较费时，所以我还需要思考如何提高效率，尤其是如何将批改的结果积累和转化成教材；
2）鼓励版友之间尤其是微信小群内的互动- 有没有可能设计一些小的练习和活动由组长带领大家在小群或大群里玩？
3）重点关注版友在构思作文时出现的困难和偏差，加强对选取观点、视角、例证和理由的训练和指导；
4）推出练习帮助版友提升和改进语言表达能力，比如练习打字、模仿范文句子、同义转换等等。

视频教程配套讲义

[attach]644113[/attach]

作者: tesolchina 时间: 2017-8-20 00:19:41

占楼写综述

作者: 东扯扯 时间: 2017-8-20 10:57:54

本帖最后由东扯扯于 2017-8-20 16:02 编辑

50) Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Intro
The Government who has the responsibility for the development and harmony of society is required to make decisions and formulate policies mainly in three aspects—namely foreign affairs, resources distribution and livelihood issues. Given the fact that people do not have a comprehensive understanding about the first two cases and they cannot reach a consensus even on livelihood policies which they are closely associated with, I agree that government officials should make a final decision based on their own judgment instead of blindly follow the will of the public who are likely to lack long-term vision.

Ts1
Foreign affairs are inevitable for a country to face, which is so crucial that the Government need to depend on their own judgement with long-term vison rather than refer to the people unquestioningly.
e.g. sovereignty issues; international affairs such as economic cooperation and cultural interaction
Ts2
In addition to the politic issue, resources distribution is likewise of paramount importance and it is well-qualified officials of the government but the public who can consider it holistically.
e.g. funding distribution for researches; educational resources distribution; natural resources allocation
Ts3
While decision-makers are obliged to consider properly the voice of the public who are directly associated with livelihood issues, they should still take it as reference and rely on their own judgement to make a sagacious decision instead of blindly adopting people’s diverse and inconsistent advice.
e.g. rich people want more private clinics regardless of cost, while indigent ones desire public hospital and well-covered health insurance; similar conflict between public & private school; house issues

Ts3
While decision-makers are obliged to consider properly the voice of the public who are directly associated with livelihood issues, they should still take it as reference and rely on their own judgement to make a sagacious decision instead of blindly adopting people’s diverse and inconsistent advice. That is to say, farsighted government officials are supposed to integrate the public’s opinions with actual conditions and full consideration and finally make decisions and formulate policies based on their own professional judgement on such livelihood issues. If the Government unquestioningly follow individual’s will, they cannot make any decision at all, since that people from different background have dissimilar needs and it is almost impossible to reach a consensus. For example, upper-class people desire more private clinics regardless of cost, while indigent ones only want affordable public hospitals and well-covered health insurance. Similar cases such as public and private schools and house issues also put the government into a dilemma. Only government officials glean information from the public and then make a decision by their own judgement, can these knotty problems be well tackled.

Coherence & Cohesion Analysis
Model Paragraph
To begin with, I strongly believe that government officials should consult the public frequently and systematically before introducing important policies. For one thing, the government officials should always take into account the people’s opinions when developing relevant policies in order to better meet the needs of the people. For example, before the Hong Kong government decides to tighten the ban on smoking in public space, it has run a public consultation for over 3 months to collect people’s opinions on this issue. A better understanding of what people think about the issue can inform the policy-making process. In addition, hearing people’s voices on the proposed policy will further legitimize the policy and make it easy for the government to later enforce the policy. The ban of smoking, for example, would be much easier if the society has reached a consensus about the issue.

其实在看别人的文章和自己写作时都会下意识的注意cohesion和coherence，看下来也知道是否连贯流畅，是如何做到的，但真的要细细去挖具体怎么连贯的，去列lexical chains时就有点痛苦，不知道怎么去拆解这些。所以这篇model paragraph其实心里已经能把握它的C&C，但是实在不会像Simon那样列。。。就不瞎列了

点评楼下

首先，写了全文，赞一个。以及谢谢你的点评。

接下来，先按照格式点评一下。
1）提纲的框架是否合理？
框架没有问题

2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
感觉ts1touch id例子不是很恰当，这个技术是科技公司把军方的技术应用到日常设备以及政府对军事保不保密是单方面决定的，和民众的关系不大。ts3没有例子，但对应的道理论证也有点单薄。

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
个人认为，可以增加complex sentences的使用，这样看起来会比较简洁且连贯一些。比如intro的前两句话可以合并起来。同时可以考虑让句式丰富点，比如最后两句都是用while的句式，略显单调。当然其实问题不大。

p.s. 第一段中mundane的用法感觉怪怪的，可能不太对，这个词通常用作贬义且形容事物，你可以查一下，个人认为换成normal people可能会更恰当点。还有些细节上的我猜可能是打错了，比如Ts1中的w/o bcz和ts2中的prospective和后面的for government count on，ts3中第一句最后两个单句间缺了连接词，end没有adj的用法换成final/ultimate可能是你想表达的？
关于你指出的我的语法问题，我觉得应该是没有错误，Google里也不乏有这样的表述，不过你自己也使用了。（Ts2第二句）

看的比较匆忙，有说的不对的还请指正。

作者: 前意识的斑点 时间: 2017-8-20 12:27:09

本帖最后由前意识的斑点于 2017-8-20 12:30 编辑

issue 50
Government, which oversees important issues of a country, is one of the most powerful systems today. Power also means responsibility. Thus, critics hold different opinions upon the mechanism, which the government is based on. Some people argue that the government should follow the will of mundane people, while I think it all depends on the nature of certain issue. In the technology and global issues, government should not blindly follow the public’s ideas, while the government should take public’s idea into account for the issues related to the public service.

According to exhaustive data, the government officials will know about the technology field better than mundane individuals. Sometimes for a country’s benefit, only government officer can know the top military technologies. After decades later, this technology might be open to the public. Thus, it is impossible for the public to make any meaningful decision. The touch id, for example, is now widely utilize in individuals’ cell phone identification technology. It was used as a military identification decades ago. If the government released this technology without because the public asked for it, the country’s military advantage might be gone. Therefore, when it comes to technology field, the government should make clear judgment independently.

What’s more, the government officers will harbor broader prospective about global issues than the mundane citizen. Sometimes, it is hard for individuals to hold a stable and clear view on certain issues. After hearing the Diaoyu island event, a lot of Chinese citizen started destroying products from Japan. A middle-aged even ended up paralyzing only because he bought a Toyota automobile. In fact, those so called anti-japan behaviors are not going to have any global effect at all. Thus, it is impossible for the government count on those irrational citizens.

Even though, encountering technology field alongside with global issues, the government should not blindly follow the public’s wishes, the government still need to hear the voice from the public when it is related to public service. The end goal of public service is to improve individuals’ living conditions. It is important for the government to collect the citizens’ complaints or compliments on public issues, which could demonstrate the strong field and weakness of the government.

In conclusion, the government should not follow the opinions of the public about global events and technology. However, it is important to gather ideas from the individuals when they are related to the citizens’ benefits. If the government fails to make judgement clearly, it will be a disaster for the whole country.

我又痛苦的写了一篇文章，感觉真的好难展开，

下面是来分析一段我在经济学人看的文章
In 1965, a 47 year-old

lawyer

复制代码

in southern France, made the deal of a lifetime. Charmed by an apartment in Arles, he persuaded the

widow

复制代码

living there that if he paid her 2500 francs a month until she died, she would leave it to him in her will. Since she was already 90, it seemed like a safe bet. Thirty years later

Mr Raffray

复制代码

was dead and the widow,

Jeanne Louise

复制代码

, was still going strong. When she eventually passed away at 122, having become the world's oldest person, the Raffray family had paid her more than twice the value of the house.

回复上一楼的，我感觉写的挺好哒，感觉思路好清晰，虽然写的同一个问题，但感觉你写的更有逻辑性，如果可以希望你也来给我的逻辑评平，
感觉总体很好，就是语法错误注意下，比如Given the fact that people do not have a comprehensive understanding about the first two cases and they cannot reach a consensus even on livelihood policies which they are closely associated with, people是复数不可以a understading 应该是understandings(⊙o⊙)哦~

作者: wanghaitao19939 时间: 2017-8-20 13:22:50

本帖最后由 wanghaitao199391 于 2017-8-20 13:36 编辑

issue 16/50/86/114/115/139

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
开头段：
Which criterion should be given more importance when we talk about the judgement of government officials, relying on their own opinion or unhesitatingly listening to the requirement of the people they serve? Someone thinks the government officials are public servants while others would like to see a more resolute official has his/her own judgement towards things, with the public’s will relegated to a less important concern. Both of the views are reasonable in some cases, I think that they are not mutually exclusive.
中间段主题句：
1.Firstly, I acknowledge that government officials are elected by the people they serve and therefore officials should behave in accordance with the benefit of their citizens.
2.However, officials sometimes should make decisions based on their own judgement, that is to say, sacrificing the will of people for the precedence of individual authority.

分析连贯性：《经济学人》杂志文章节选
https://www.economist.com/blogs/ ... 17/08/bannon-fodder
Steve Bannon is ousted as the president’s chief strategist
He may yet prove more effective outside the White House

THE statement was short and bland:“White House Chief of Staff John Kelly and Steve Bannon have mutually agreed today would be Steve’s last day. We are grateful for his service and wish him the best.” As with most such statements, this one concealed more than it revealed. According to President Donald Trump, there was nothing mutual about the separation: he had decided to remove his nationalist chief strategist. Mr Bannon’s camp insisted that in fact their man had resigned 11 days ago and that the events of Charlottesville had delayed the announcement. Signs that the relationship between the two men was not as harmonious as it used to be had emerged on Tuesday, when the strongest defence of Mr Bannon that Mr Trump could muster was to call him a “friend”, and “not a racist”, but warned that “we’ll see what happens with Mr Bannon.”
...
His time at the White House was not smooth. He clashed with what he called “globalists” in the administration, which seemed to encompass all those who did not share his yearning to limit legal immigration and his belief that the West was under siege. Negative stories about H.R. McMaster, the national security advisor who booted Mr Bannon from the national security council’s principals committee, began to appear on Breitbart. He had no shortage of internal enemies: one unnamed official told Politico, “No one liked him. People didn't know what he did other than stab his colleagues in the back.”Though Mr Bannon entered government vowing to turn the Republicans into the party of the working and middle classes, he and his boss have no signature policy achievements after eight months in office. Instead, Mr Bannon proved adroit at making enemies. Many—particularly on the left—will be glad to see him go.
我写的：
In the report, the author recommends that the daily use of a nutritional supplement abstract from fish will effectively reduce colds and therefore prevent the absenteeism caused by cold. To strengthen his/her recommendation, the author takes a report arguing that high fish consumption in nearby East Meria lead to only once or twice times of cold treatment every year. Additionally, although cold is the most common excuse of absences from campus and workplace, the author need more evidence to support the effect of fish consumption and its reduce of absenteeism.
为什么这段看着很cohesion？因为它是我写的一个argument的开头段，感觉argument很容易就能写出这么连贯的感觉来，Issue却忽视了这个，变成胡写一通。真切感受到了连贯性，以后要注意。

作者: mzlgjg 时间: 2017-8-20 15:41:47

本帖最后由 mzlgjg 于 2017-8-20 20:48 编辑

62.Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Frame: leaders are created by demands of people placed on them, environmental conditions and leaders’ own personality.

TS: Leaders, managing groups large or small, are usually complex entity of product of factors both external and internal. Demands of people placed on them may stand out as the most essential, but there are actually more factors exerting on leaders than that. The environment conditions and leaders’ own personality and skills are also dispensable in determining how a leader comes into being.

TS1: Demands of people on leaders are the driving force of their existence.
The waves of revolution during the 18th and 19th century France have given rise to several famous leaders like Robespierre and Blanqui. Demanded by people’s desire for ideal life, these leaders led the French people seeking for reform and better social systems.

TS2: Not only are demands important but also the environmental conditions should allow for the leader to apply his aspiration.
Roosevelt led America to be the center of the world's politics and economy thanks to the Second World War destroyed Europe. The New Deal and the following revival of American economy were the both successful only under this background.

TS3: Apart from external factors discussed above, the internal factors of leaders can’t be ignored.
Niels Bohr was a wise scientist, for a lot of physicists working in his group who actually looked down upon one another’ s theory was cohered by Bohr and they both fulfilled their talents.

连贯性分析TS3:
Apart from external factors discussed above, the internal factors of leaders can’t be ignored. To make a group of people cohere to each other and fight for one ultimate goal, leaders should skillfully employ different talents of his people and avoid potential conflicts. Otherwise any group would collapse and leader would also vanish into none. As the leader of Copenhagen School, Niels Bohr was a wise scientist, for a lot of physicists working in his group who actually looked down upon one another’ s theory was cohered by Bohr and they both fulfilled their talents. They together created the initial quantum mechanics. Without Bohr’ s moderate temper and skill in managing people’s pride, the achievement of modern physics frame might have to wait for longer time.

老师的范文63TS1分析
Without being tested by demands for leadership, people often assume leadership positions by demonstrating strong communication skills that are important for dealing with situations in which they have to lead others to solve problems. In the field of academic researches, for example, senior researchers have to communicate their research findings and the vision about how the discipline would advance clearly and persuasively to the fellow researchers in order to take up leadership positions such as editors of top journals and chairpersons of the academic societies. They also need to demonstrate their willingness to listen to other members of the research community and understand their ideas and concerns about the field. Such strong communication skills would enable them to become leaders in the field and help others to meet the challenges.

点评5楼同学的提纲
开头段不错，不过我感觉frame不是很具体，你的两个TS基本上就是重述了一下题目的两种观点，不过这两种观点怎么取舍，应该明确一下你的准则，要不然就显得有一些空泛。而且没看到例子啊....
coherence的分析我觉得挺好的，没什么问题。

作者: amber_123 时间: 2017-8-20 17:27:56

本帖最后由 amber_123 于 2017-8-21 11:15 编辑

Model essay

Leadership is vital for the success of any enterprises, whether it is in the field of business, education or public administration. It is argued that, in order to prevent power abuse and revitalize the organizations, those in the leadership positions should quit their jobs after a certain number of years.  I think this proposal will not benefit businesses and educational institutions as leaders in these fields need many years to build their reputation and earn trust from the stakeholders.  Nevertheless, it is important for government officials to serve for a limited number of years only.

Consider the leadership in business world first. With the separation of ownership and management in modern corporations, it is important for the stockholders to trustthe managers of the businesses.  But to earn the trust of the stockholders often takes a relatively long period of time.  The managers will need to demonstrate their competence as leaders through years of services and accumulate more experience while working with the staff to develop the best strategic plans for the long-term development of a company.  Once the manager reaches the top management, s/he will become a valuable asset that the company cannot afford to lose.  If s/he has to leave the position in five years, the company will have to start over the process of cultivating a leader all over again.  Therefore, to save money for the investors of the company, this rule should not apply.

With the increasing corporatization of higher education, the same logic also applied to the leadership of universities. As a president of a university, one has to spend years developing intimate knowledge about the industry of higher education and building his/her network with the key people in the circle.  S/he will need to promote the university aggressively at a global scale and raise money for different projects and programs that can help the university to stay competitive.  This is a very challenging job and if a university is lucky enough to find someone who can do the job well, it makes little sense to let him/her go in 5 years. This is why the leaders of universities often hold their positions for years.

Nevertheless, the proposed rule should apply to government officials who do need to leave their jobs after certain years. One may argue that just like corporate CEOs and university presidents, it also takes years for a government official to learn to do his/her job well and build his/her reputation.  This is true to some extent. But it is important to bear in mind that “government, even in its best form, is a necessary evil” as it takes away certain amount of freedom from the citizens in order to preserve peace and order.  As a result, the power of the government officials have to be limited through the institutional arrangement that any officials, no matter how competent or reputable they are, have to step down after a certain number of years.  The risk of having a dictator justifies the cost of reducing the tenure of a capable leader.

In conclusion, I believe that the proposed rule should not be applied to the fields of business and higher education. But for the government leaders, they should definitely leave their positions after a certain number of years.

着色的过程令人眼花缭乱，可能结果有点混乱。这个lexical chain的辨别还是有些难度的，希望老师讲多一点例子。

issue 16/50/86/114/115/139

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

People, by the advantages of rapidly developed technologies, have bigger influence on government than before. Government could hear people’s voice through various ways like internet, telephones and letters. However, when making decisions, government officials mustn’t easily be influenced by people’s opinions. Instead, they must think independently in order to facilitate the development of the society. Law officers need to protect the seriousness of laws. Education officials should assure the appropriateness of teaching contents. Economy officials are supposed to make efforts to protect agriculture.

To begin with, law officials must keep independent and sagacious to assure the seriousness of laws. Several months ago, a man in China killed a government employee purposely in order to protect his mother from being abused by them. He, according to the law, should be sentenced to prison for a long time or death. However, the public showed huge sympathy for him because he was protecting his mother. People’s will was so strong on the internet that law officials couldn’t ignore them. However, if officials break the law to gain satisfaction from people, it would be a disaster for the whole society. Anyone who successfully manipulates people’s will could crime and escape from the punishment. Law officials should rigidly keep the seriousness of laws to punish crimes and protect the society.

In addition, education officials should properly arrange learning contents for students regardless of the parents’ wish. A number of parents always want their children to learn more. They send prekindergarten kids to education institutions to learn mathematics. They arrange numerous after school courses for the primary school students like dance, handwriting, English and art. They, at the same time, also wish that school could add more classes for students, so they can learn more and be better prepared for the future. One of the responsibilities of education officials is to appropriately evaluate the learning abilities and needs of different-age students. They should arrange courses with apt contents and difficulty in consistent with scientific principles other than the wish of parents. If too much pressure is given to students, it might come out with an adverse consequence compared with parents’ wish.

Last but not least, besides the fields of law and education, it’s similar in the field of economy that government officials must maintain a balance between agriculture and other economy components in order to help develop the country healthily. As we all know, technology economy is more profitable than agriculture. Fewer people, as a result, are working in the less profitable field. However, it, though less beneficial, is very important, without which humans may face a problem of starving. Economy officials should make policies to prize people making a living in agriculture by giving them technical support and reducing their taxes. Through maintaining proper percentage of agriculture, officials keep economy healthy and do a favor for future development.

To draw a conclusion, I believe government officials should remain independent and wisdom in making decisions. Law officials must protect the seriousness of laws and avoid the influence of people’s will. Education officials need to assure the rationality and scientificity of contents in textbooks. Economy officials must balance agriculture and other economy components.

作者: 丽丽酱香饼 时间: 2017-8-20 17:35:23

本帖最后由丽丽酱香饼于 2017-8-21 17:38 编辑

issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in powershould step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree ordisagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure toaddress the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used tochallenge your position.

Intro

People in power can make great influence onothers and decide the direction of the enterprise under their lead What companied with such power is the possibility of power abuse, which could destroy aperson, a company or even a country. So, there is the argument about restraining leadership with a limit tenure in five years, whether it is in education system,business field or governmental agency. I agree with the original intention ofthis proposal, but this rule should allow for different flexibility indifferent professions.

For leader of government like the presidentand administer, five years tenure is a good regulation to prevent the risk of dictational tendencies. But it could perform better with the permission of one reelection to support the decent leader.

Eg1 George Washington; Abraham Lincoln

Eg2 encourage of long-term project like landrevolution

OP: because the reelection depend onpeople, centralization and excess of power could be reduce

As for education, there is no deny that it takes hundred years to rear people. So the school principals need much more than fiveyears to achieve their education deployment.

Eg1: educational concept need consistency foryears to accomplish

Eg2: five years is too short to buildpublic praise for school

The same logic also applied to the managersof companies. The steady leadership is the base of sound collaboration and stable hearts of employees.

Eg1: success of a company roots in longperiod corporation

Eg2: change of manager will impact the peace and order in the company organization.

连贯性练习：老师同题目范文

Consider the leadership in business world first. With the separation of ownership and management in modern corporations, it is important for the stockholders to trust the managers of the businesses. But to earn the trust of the stockholders often takes a relatively long period of time. The managers will need to demonstrate their competence as leaders through years of services and accumulate more experience while working with the staff to develop the best strategic plans for the long-term development of a company. Once the manager reaches the top management, s/he will become a valuable asset that the company cannot afford to lose. If s/he has to leave the position in five years, the company will have to start over the process of cultivating a leader all over again. Therefore, to save money for the investors of the company, this rule should not apply.

感想：

有所进步~~~

读了一些素材，有想法和思路了~

困惑：

遣词造句真的太费时了，，，想不到可以替换的词句，不知道地道的表达。。。

关于文章立意，ets是如何评分呢？要立意深刻还是只要讲清楚就好呢？

建议：

还是希望老师能附上视频配套的文本，总是停下截屏或抄录，效率不高(✿◡‿◡)

我来点评其他网友

楼层：6

1）mzlgjg网友提纲的框架是否合理？

第一个主题句可以再详细具体一点

第二点，Environmentalcondition 是不是也是一种demand？ Demand of environment？

2）网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？

第二个Roosevelt的例子，有了background才有New Deal吧？感觉因果关系不大合适

第三个Bohr的例子，没有提到他是leader

3）网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？

指意不明 there areactually more than that， What more than what？

搭配不当 Are leadersentity of factors?

作者: 芥弥 时间: 2017-8-20 18:56:00

本帖最后由芥弥于 2017-8-20 19:41 编辑

issue 104/107
To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Given the complexity of personalities, social scientists are always looking for determinant features and characters of an effective leader. Some contend that a public official need to have high moral standards and comply with ethical rules properly in order to be an effective leader. In my opinion, whether high moral standards serves to be an requirement for an effective leader depends on which aspect of life these rules should be applied to. In public sphere, officials must adhere to high moral standard in order to win support and trust from the teams and the general public. Yet, in private sphere high moral standard is not a necessary requirement for leaders since they are playing different social roles rather than a leader in their private life. While there might be some scepticisms that this inconsistency may cause public distrust for these leaders, I believe that attitudes and behaviors of public leaders in private sphere should be excluded from the media coverage since these are their own privacy.

TS1
There is no doubt that in public sphere a high moral standard and strict self-discipline should be a must for a public official to win public support and trust in order to become an effective leader.
e.g. role model for inferiors, integrity, probity, honesty when cooperation
e.g. set the standard for other leaders through competition, less bribery, less nepotism, win recognition

TS2
However, while officials should serve as a moral examplar in public life, this rule does not apply to their attitudes and actions in private life since they have different roles to fulfill other than public leaders.
e.g. as a family member, more concern of the benefit of the family instead of the whole community, as long as not involved in public affairs
e.g. roles as an ordinary citizen, concern personal interests more than public good

TS3
Some might challenge this position by claiming that the inconsistency of behaviors in public and private spheres might induce negative impression towards the leaders from the public. Nevertheless, public officials have the rights to keep their private acts from the media coverage so long as these behaviors do not violate the law.
e.g. report other family members' info,love affairs, violate personal privacy (so long as do not involve public affairs)
e.g. difference btw public and private spheres

Coherence Analysis

Model Paragraph

[attach]644094[/attach]

Practice

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点评8楼

1）提纲的框架是否合理？
框架很清楚。

2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
P1 But it could perform better with the permission of one reelectionto support the decent leader.感觉可以去掉，讨论的重点是是否应该有tenure，而非tenure时长；
P2 两个例子在我看来更像是two steps in reasoning

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
倒数第二句whether一整个句子在后面很奇怪，最后一句最好点明specific circumstances有哪些

PS：可能是因为网页的原因，一些单词中间的空格消失了，阅读不是很方便。

作者: bigheiniu 时间: 2017-8-20 20:41:01

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

开头:
When talking about the relationship between the people and the goverment, some people consider the government as tools implementing residents' will. However, I disagree with this opinion, because hardly can people consider every possible results of a policy, instead they just care about themsevles. Besides, there many conflict voice in the society, any incline towards one side will split people.

分论点
1. On the one hand, People just concern themselves' property which cause the policy insular and myopic.
e.g. the economy policy popular in China, printing more money so that everybody is rich.
e.g. government have set some moral paragon to lead the citizen.
2. Next, Simply follow people's will will split the country.
e.g. in America, tearing down the sculpture of slave owner in south states, even about Lincoln.

3. On the other hand, in order to contrain government's power, public official should follow people's need.
e.g. soth korean presidents's scandal for corruption galvanize people's distruss towards the government, so the government quickly resign the presidents and set a professional team to check the presidents corruption.

第一个主题段:
On the one hand, People just concern themselves' property, which will make the policy insular and myopic. The policy government make should consider the future influence and all the kinds of people in this country. For example, in the 1970s, the bad economy situation in China make people have a will that why not print more money so that everybody is rich, and can buy the food to stop starvation. This is myopic opinion that it omits the basic axiom in economy and the quantity of production. So if the government just follows this will, not only can people still suffer the starvation, but the economy in China will be interrupted terribly. Thus, without considering the potential bad influence, people's will has its innate drawbacks, and the government should not simply follow it.
==============================
Coherence & Cohesion Analysis
To begin with, the attention from the public after a scandal does not necessarily focus on the right issue. Take the Clinton scandal and impeachment for example. With the release of Starr report, the Clinton scandal has attracted the national and even international media attention. But the majority of American people seem to find it more interesting to talk about whether or not President Clinton had sex with Monica Lewinsky. They would even get into the debate over whether oral sex would count as sex. But the real issue that should capture public attention is whether or not the President had lied and still deserved the trust of American people. With the media always interested in reporting sensational news, the Clinton scandal failed to focus public attention on the right issue and therefore was not very useful for the development of American politics.

红色: 连接词
绿色: lexical chain => scandals
背景色: signaling noun => attention 抽象到具体

attention -> 下定义 national and international attention -> 具体化描述人们的关注点 -> 延续之前的具体人们开始辩论他的关注点 -> 引入另一个概念, 还是具体 deserved the trust from American people.

作者: 丽丽酱香饼 时间: 2017-8-20 20:48:59

芥弥发表于 2017-8-20 18:56
issue 104/107
To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and mo ...

谢谢点评~
格式问题以前没注意呢，是从word复制过来的原因吧，以后我检查一下再上传~
第二段我是想用分析而不是举例的方法呢，不知道是否充分

whether这句是参考的老师这个例句Leadership is vital for the success of any enterprises, whether it is in the field of business, education or public administration.
我是想表达，In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in powershould step down after five years.你觉得怎么写更好呢？

还有就是我确实是想说，对每个领域都规定一个五年的tenure不合适，不跑偏吧~(@^_^@)~

作者: 芥弥 时间: 2017-8-20 21:59:52

丽丽酱香饼发表于 2017-8-20 20:48
谢谢点评~
格式问题以前没注意呢，是从word复制过来的原因吧，以后我检查一下再上传~
第二段我是想用分 ...

嗯，用分析的话我觉得是可以的，你提纲那里写的是e.g.所以我就以为你是要用来举例的啦。

whether那个句子...老师既然这么写了，我...我自己写的话professions后面直接跟such as就列举几个就可以啦。

我觉得你的框架很清楚的，但是我想说的是P1最后一句提到的五年这个时长还有reelection，在我看来并没有这么重要，要是我的话不会写这一部分。

：)

作者: HelloC424 时间: 2017-8-20 22:12:06

issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Intro:
From my perspective, I partially agree with the argument's statement that leader of every areas should be replacement every five years. To scrutinized my opinion, I am going to illustrate from three different areas: business, education and the political system. Leaders of business area and educational system may not have to step down in a short five years, while for the political system such as government , the leaders on the top should , in my opinion, be elected again.

Ts1: First, leaders of business do not have to be replaced in five years after he or she accede. Business man need a relatively long period to accumulate his or her reputation in this competitive society. They also have to develop human resources to aid the whole corporation works more effectively and efficiently. And it is not an easy work that can be accomplished in five years.

Ts2: Then, leaders of education should not step down every five years. Education is a long-time thing and need the educationist to inherit experiences from predecessors and make some innovations to benefit the schools and the students. Only when a educationist casts about a long-period and feasible plan and practices it in this long time insistently, the effect and achievement will be seen. If the leader such as principal of a school changed in a short time, the plan will never be completely practiced and not mentioned the development of students of the schools.

Ts3:However, leaders on the top of the government may need to be changed periodically. As we all known that every leader including president in most countries of the world carry out tenure system because it can, to some extent, keep the clarity of democracy and freedom. It also can limit the president's power in case of he or she abusing the power so that it is beneficial for the political system and the country's development.

In conclusion, in certain areas, for instance, in business or education, leaders may not have to step down as quickly as five years, while in other areas such as political, people in power should be changed in a short period such as five years.

分析段落后面补。

我的问题：语句比较简单，没有什么例子，字数少，要通过练习多写一点。

点评楼上：
题目：政府不应该单纯靠人们的期望而是应该有自己的判断。
作者态度：同意－－应该有自己的判断
论点1：人们只关心自己的利益导致政策目光短浅。
论点2：简单跟从人们的意愿会分裂国家（不是很理解）
让步：为了限制政府权力，政府应该跟随人们的意愿。

问题：
1.开始段写的比较模糊，希望可以写的更加与题目本身贴合，我刚开始还以为是不同意题目观点，有些混乱。
2.有一些小小的语法错误
3.从三个主题句来看，应该是部分同意题目观点，不是完全同意。
4.论点2的topic和例子我觉得不是很贴合，因为好像没有分裂，只是内战，而且黑奴问题不是平等的人民意愿问题，是一个比较复杂的历史文化问题，内战并不一定是不好的，但是在这个论点的情况下作者认为是贬义的。

作者: 卿本悠悠 时间: 2017-8-20 22:25:34

本帖最后由卿本悠悠于 2017-8-20 22:50 编辑

7、In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.（8/111/149）

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种，through classification of key term(s) in the issue statement。按照题目给定的内容，将profession分成business, politics (together with government), education三类论述。

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
The stipulation according to which the powerful in any profession should step down after five years is a wide-ranged consensus and has lots of apparent benefits. The periodical change of significant positions in any vocations, like business, politics and education, although the difference in working content, has helped in professional development, the talent attraction and better resource allocation.

主题句1
As the importance and necessity of decisiveness and adventurous spirit, the powerful in business have a responsibility to step down to a more ambitious successor after five years.
具体例子或细节
--decisiveness. New successor tends to more likely to take some resolute decision and reform the old custom.
--adventurous spirit. Being a powerful person for a long time will gradually wear his adventurous spirit away.

主题句2
Like but more essential than businessman, those in power in politics will lead to severe consequences towards the national and whole country if their power are permanent and unrestricted without the stepping down after five years.
具体例子或细节
--emperors in ancient times, even the most praised and memorable ones, had done some bad-influenced things.
--the state leaders of some countries, like North Korea and Saudi Arabia.

主题句3
Not so far-reaching influence as politics, but play a pivotal role in the society, from the low-educated to the well-educated, is the powerful in education, as they directly effect on the next generation.
具体例子或细节
--principals, bring new resources and reforms.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
最后一部分除了校长，暂时没想到教育方面的高层之类的例子，希望能够予以补充。

范文中间段分析（段落间句子连贯性分析）
选自8/111/149题范文的第三段
With the increasing corporatization of higher education, the same logic also applied to the leadership of universities. As a president of a university, one has to spend years developing intimate knowledge about the industry of higher education and building his/her network with the key people in the circle. S/he will need to promote the university aggressively at a global scale and raise money for different projects and programs that can help the university to stay competitive. This is a very challenging job and if a university is lucky enough to find someone who can do the job well, it makes little sense to let him/her go in 5 years. This is why the leaders of universities often hold their positions for years.

我来点评其他网友
楼层：7楼

1）amber_123网友提纲的框架是否合理？
框架与题目切合，属于第3类分类方式。但是按照老师的提纲格式来写会更清晰。
2）amber_123网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适。但是感觉PIE model中的information有点多，相比起来elaboration显得比较少。
3）amber_123网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
mustn’t这个用法不合适。seriousness of laws感觉不是很好。

作者: Angelyyy 时间: 2017-8-20 23:01:15

03/03/2014
The Embargo of Cuba: Time to Go- Becker
The US embargo of Cuba began in 1960, a year after Fidel Castro turned this island toward communism. It was extended to food and medicines in 1962, the same year as the showdown with Russia over the installation of missiles there. The embargo has prevented American companies from doing business with Cuba, and discouraged tourism to Cuba. The American government also tried with quite limited success to prevent other countries from trading with Cuba.

In general economic embargoes are undesirable because they interfere with free trade among countries. Yet a case could be made for an embargo against Cuba. Castro not only allowed Russian missiles to be installed in Cuba, just 90 miles from Florida, but was also actively trying to interfere in other countries by sending troops and so-called advisers. The aim of the embargo was to impose economic hardship on Cuba that would force Castro to drop these international actions, and possibly even lead to the toppling of his government and the end of communism in Cuba. Castro did stop his international adventurism, but he and communism remained firmly entrenched for decades.

16.Some people believe that in order to be effective, political leaders must yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise. Others believe that the most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

TS:How to maintain a relatively high effect is a debatable issue.Especially for the political leaders,they should consider about how to ensure the overall stable of the society.As far as I am concerned,on the cases related close to the happiness and daily lives of people,leaders should are persuaded to listen the advice from the public.When it comes to the executives of the law,leaders must be solid impassive and persist to their principles.

ts1: For the first part,let me explain why I think it is dispensable for the leaders make compromise to their people. As for the work really close to the people’s daily lives,leaders should listen to them and make promotions
-For example,public equipment is always being revised and the designers tried their best to provide the convenience for the public.I remember once at the subway in Beijin,I saw the introduction of the newest lower-path designed especially for the disabled people,which is constructed after a series of suggestions of the citizens,received compliments mostly.However,the design before which are condemned for the most time,built only by the isolated purpose.Thus,the leaders are persuaded to listen the suggestions from the people when it comes to the decisions related very close to their daily lives.

ts2 On the other hand,people would challenge if all the things should be discussed with the public,how to ensure the efficiency as well as the stableness of society?There no doubt that when it comes to the laws,leader should be as impartial as possible and stick to the principles.
-Take the case of education of example,if both children at the same age,but one comes from a decent family with power and pecuniary advantages,the other comes from an totally impoverished family.They involved in an crime case and both were arrested,however,as for the venality,the one from the better family received less punishment.If the equality of law reflected like this,I don’t think there is any need to have it.As a result,the leader should persist to their principles and be solid impartial to the executives of the law.

ts3 Last but not least,I’d like to qualify my explanation.Even though stick to the principle of law is of advantage of the most time,there are exceptional cases.For example,the resource of people is not always equal,actually,is not equal for most time.To be specific,the chances for people vary a lot.Unfortunately,when the inequality caused a poor boy to defend himself by attacking the one who bullied him.This situation,for the sake of the ethos,we need to give a chance to him,instead of escaping the penalty,but less.

分析主题段1
For the first part,let me explain why I think it is dispensable for the leaders make compromise to their people. As for the work really close to the people’s daily lives,leaders should listen to them and make promotions.For example,public equipment is always being revised and the designers tried their best to provide the convenience for the public.I remember once at the subway in Beijin,I saw the introduction of the newest lower-path designed especially for the disabled people,which is constructed after a series of suggestions of the citizens,received compliments mostly.However,the design which was condemned for amount of time,built only by the isolated purpose.Thus,the leaders are persuaded to listen the suggestions from the people when it comes to the decisions related very close to their daily lives.

我用红色标出来了逻辑词，用黄色标出来了key word
我觉着还算coherence

作者: 心玉夕颜 时间: 2017-8-21 00:40:29

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

In democratic society, government officials are elected by constituency who support their political position and ideas. In other words, people live in democratic society wield their rights to fulfill sociel responsibility by voting for senators they support. However, politics is not as simple as it seems. The rights to legislate, to acturally run a government, to make political decisions are controled by government officials. Therefore, the balance of power between public and political elites is a tricky thing for every country.

TS1:The power of political leaders and their fellows is enfranchised by their people, but once given the mighty power of run a country, politicians are easily prone to abuse their power to satisfy their desires rather than people's welfare.
Information: Power can produce money.
Elaboration: many politicians cannot refuse the lure of corruption. Desicions made by corrupt politicians usually are not beneficial to most of people's well-being, but benefit a small part of immoral and illicit people.

TS2: Dictatorship is the result of political leaders making decisions only on their own judgment.
Information: In feudal society, people's well-being only relied on whether their emperors or kings were capable of ruling.
Elaboration: nobody can deny their power unless military uprising breaks out.
Nowaday, democracy is a much more superior and advanced political system which is instituted to confine leaders' power. So, if government officials in democratic system rely on their own judgement and ignore the will of the people, it will become another form of dictatorship.

TS3: Normal people don't have the ability of dealiing with political and social problems.
Information: Complete and absolute democracy will also lead to chaos.
Elaboration: If people have the right to decide their social welfare, there is no doubt that they will enhance their welfare while ignoring the heavy burden of economics. Therefore, economic and politic elites are needed to balance and weigh the advantages and disadvantages of every policies they make.

范文：
To begin with, I strongly believe that government officials should consult the public frequently and systematically before introducing important policies. For one thing, the government officials should always take into account the people’s opinions when developing relevant policies in order to better meet the needs of the people. For example, before the Hong Kong government decides to tighten the ban on smoking in public space, it has run a public consultation for over 3 months to collect people’s opinions on this issue. A better understanding of what people think about the issue can inform the policy-making process. In addition, hearing people’s voices on the proposed policy will further legitimize the policy and make it easy for the government to later enforce the policy. The ban of smoking, for example, would be much easier if the society has reached a consensus about the issue.

分析：
1、通过conjunction来连接每一个information和elaboration
2、government对policy的制定与people的想法之间的关系来连接整个段落的逻辑顺序。

作者: freefm 时间: 2017-8-21 10:58:23

7楼AW
1. 英文里三个以上列举是A, B, and C。
2. couldn't 等在书面语里一般拆开写，can not or could not
3. if officials break the law for gaining satisfaction from people，似乎应该用to gain，表目的
4. it’s the similar situation，it is in .......

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Many historians would contend that the will of the people is the collect lead of the nation, while some hold the other way. The statement put more weight on the officials’ judgments rather than the will of the public, leaving an impression of absolute canon to me, which calls in doubt for the complexity of the issue.

In the first place, when it comes to national policy, it is obvious that government officials have a more comprehensive and visionary picture than the people who are usually limited to their career or their own cognition. Examples, national construction, national railway blueprint, military construction. In this case, government officials should make decisions basing on their own understanding of the matters.

Secondly, plenty of national plans take decades, even centuries, to result in realistic benefits or economical revenue. Oftentimes, it is hard for citizens to escape their local and limited perspective to consider all general and long-term factors. Examples, Nuclear plants meet a lot of obstacles from residents.

On the other hand, government officials cannot be indulgent in the personal purposes and regardless to the interest of the majority of the society, which means they should follow the will of the people. Such as the self-ego, personal interest…..

Admittedly, it is impossible to example all the circumstances, but, from the discussion above, what we can summary is that whether the government officials follow their own judgement or the will of the people is depending on the specific matter and the circumstances. According to different cases, government officials can make their decisions either from their own understandings of the situations or listen to the voice of the public, or strike a balance from the two aspects.

作者: Morfire 时间: 2017-8-21 11:32:06

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

有参考老师范文

There are pros and cons about to what extent government should take citizens’ opinions into account and follow normal people’s instructions. In my opinion, though government, paid by its own people, should consider and consult taxpayers’ willingness, in order to make the development of the country more cogent and forthcoming, it needs the rights to make and carry out its own policies since general people are not that well-informed of certain disciplines and for many cases, they can hardly receive an agreement.

To begin with, officers in government are especially trained to serve the country. In other words, they are professional in managing the government functions. However, folks are prone to overlook those special abilities and knowledge, viewing them as pieces of cake. If government only follow what people say, the country might be weakened because they usually do not have a foresight in terms of country long-term development. For example, government owns many research institutions. Researchers there, well informed by profound knowledge, are capable of giving the optimal advise. Hence, citizens are supposed to trust their government to rely on their own officers and lead the country alone.

Second, demands of the public are often diverse, even though people are talking about a certain issue. While they can hardly bring about a scheme that satisfies everybody with endless argument, the government can terminate the controversy by enforcing its own plan, which is authorized and people who stand on the other side, if not pleased, will accept it eventually. Because when government come up with a project, it has nothing to do with prejudice, but is only about what is the best for the majority. Therefore, government should have the right to impose its own judgement.

Even though people ought to let their government have the freedom to rely on its own judgment, when it comes about people’s own welfare and well-being, it is necessary for government to listen to citizens’ proposals. The relationship between government and people is based on contracts, which means since government is paid by citizens, it has the responsibility to assess their opinions in light of democracy. If a government never listen or care about the public, it inevitably falls into autocracy. Hence, things like welfare and salary, which are significant elements of people's lives, are needed to be seriously taken into account with people’s requirements. Otherwise, like what had happened in the past, government forced people to sacrifice their leisure time and wages to so-called bigger blueprint, which resulted in economic deterioration.

In conclusion, admittedly it is important to let government make its own decisions in cases that people are not so well-informed and can not reach an agreement. Nevertheless, to build a democratic country and fulfill the needs of people, government should still consult the general people.

作者: amber_123 时间: 2017-8-21 11:40:49

freefm 发表于 2017-8-21 10:58
7楼AW
1. 英文里三个以上列举是A, B, and C。
2. couldn't 等在书面语里一般拆开写，can not or could ...

1collect or collective?
2basing-based
3中间段第一和第二段理由people limited to their careers感觉重复了
4中间段第二段例子nuclear plans这个例子有点争议，支持own judgement应该找个大家都认为是正向的例子，nuclear plans可以被认为是政府判断不利的证据
5regardless of
6中间段第三段，作者的观点是政府官员应该听从公众意见，那么他的理由“government officials cannot be indulgent in the personal purposes and regardless to the interest of the majority of the society”，感觉这个理由不太站得住脚，可以换一个更坚固的理由
7关于开头段，王老师的视频教的是1 thesis sentence+3 topic sentences,这里没有topic sentences。此外，thesis sentence可以更直接清楚一点，呼应整篇文章的观点。

作者: 很_简单 时间: 2017-8-21 12:44:01

Nevertheless（连接词）, the proposed rule（指代前文中的5年下台论点） should apply to government officials who do need to leave their jobs after certain years. One may argue that just like corporate CEOs and university presidents（前文的例子）, it also takes years for a government official to learn to do his/her job well and build his/her reputation（逻辑上的conherence）.??This is true to some extent. But（连接词） it is important to bear in mind that “government, even in its best form, is a necessary evil” as it takes away certain amount of freedom from the citizens in order to preserve peace and order.??As a result（连接词）, the power of the government officials have to be limited through the institutional arrangement that any officials, no matter how competent or reputable they are, have to step down after a certain number of years.??The risk（指代前文中的论点） of having a dictator justifies the cost of reducing the tenure of a capable leader.??

作文提纲

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

开头段
In comtemperary society, government always play a role which serve the people who pay tax to them. Thus, they should maintain the tax payers interests which also garantee the government's authority. In order to serve the people better, some may say that rely on government officials' own judgment will help more. But others argue that one must unquestiontingly carry out general people's will because they are who the government serve. In my opinion, we should simply divide the opinions into to opposite position. We should consider it more exhaustively.

主体段
Firstly, as for development of military, government officals who rely on their own judgment because goverment officals can not always consult general people for suggestion.
Some project shoud keep secret in order to have a further development.

Secondly, in technology and science field, government also should rely on their own judgment because general people do not have much information to consider the specific field. In these field, mecessary information is of importance to make a right decision such as providing investment or fundings.

Thirdly, although in the military and technology fields, government should depend on themselves to make decision, they may seriously consider general people's appeal in the areas important to people's livelihood in order to serve them better.

作者: wanghaitao19939 时间: 2017-8-21 13:08:01

issue 104/107
To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards. 想成为一名有效力的领导则,政府官员必须坚守最高的伦理和道德标准。
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
开头段：
A leader is elected by people, so it is important for him/her to serve the citizens who voted. The personalities of leaders have already become a hot topic of discussions. Some people assert that an official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards in order to show an example for others. From my perspective, people with high standard of moral will be more possibly to be good leaders, while those high moral and ethical should not necessarily achieve effectiveness. In some cases, high moral principals sabotage a leader’s effectiveness when they refuse to compromise.
中间段：
TS1.Maintaining high ethical and moral standards can promote a leader’s trust because we are inclined to believe in those who have good personalities and support them. In other words, their effectiveness is usually thought as persuasive as their characters. If a political official is accepted by the citizens, their political goals are more likely to get.
Eg.President Roosevelt gained popularity from his New Deal and contribution during the World War Two.

TS2.However, the high moral standards does not guarantee the effectiveness of a leader, in the same way, the non-possession of high moral is not undoubtedly relate to incompetent.
Eg.this is especially obvious when a country is under emergency. The warring states period in Chinese history is famous of fighting with each other for more resources. The first emperor of Qin Dynasty is the ultimate winner of all these wars, while in history he is described as a cunning and extravagant guy, merciless towards anyone who dear to hinder his action.

TS3.Some may argue that without high moral qualities, the leader will be despised and overthrown. But it is usual that people would put up with a morally despicable leader if his/her moral defects don’t jeopardize the people’s interests.
Eg. The first emperor of Qin Dynasty enjoys a lot of fame due to his reunion of China. The ruin of Qin Dynasty is actually caused by abusing citizens.

TS4. Last, sometimes, adhering to the highest moral standards backfires, because some of the standards, such as integrity and honesty, placing the national interest in jeopardy.
Eg. If President Roosevelt did not withhold militarily secret during the World War Two, the Anti-Fascist League would not win the War, and the world would be trapped by depravity.
分析范文
https://www.economist.com/news/l ... as-no-grasp-what-it
Donald Trump has no grasp of what it means to be president
U-turns, self-regard and equivocation are not what it takes

DEFENDERS of President Donald Trump offer two arguments in his favour—that he is a businessman who will curb the excesses of the state; and that he will help America stand tall again by demolishing the politically correct taboos of left-leaning, establishment elites. From the start, these arguments looked like wishful thinking. After Mr Trump’s press conference in New York on August 15th they lie in ruins.

作者: 拒绝失学 时间: 2017-8-21 17:10:49

69. Some people believe it is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public. Others believe that the public has a right to be fully informed.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

Intro
Every country will be confronted with a lot of issues, both external and internal, and some of these affairs may be quite thorny. Indeed, it is always controversial among the people whether the government should conceal some information in order that keep the society in order. It seems to me that the two sides base their claim on different foundations, one focusing on the consequence, another on the justifiability of the deed itself. Therefore, in order to analyze such a question in a further way, let us clarify whether their claim can be verifiable regarding their assumptions.

Ts1
The supporters of the claim that the government should withhold information from the public may fear that if the information is revealed, then the whole society will be chaotic.
e.g. earthquake; the rising of house prices
However, no one can predict the consequence accurately. So, it is not tenable to base our decision on the consequence.

Ts2
On the other hand, such an assumption is invalid, since it ignores the power of education.
e.g.: gay marriage, the concept of public sphere

Ts3
On the other hand, those who claim that no matter what will happen, the government should make the information public may maintain that no one can be sure that he can solve the problem, including the government, and maybe the general public would hold a possible solution. In fact, this is exactly the reason why we cherish the freedom of speech and publication.
e.g.: Mill <on liberty>

Ts2
On the other hand, such an assumption is invalid, since it ignores the power of education. If we put a further consideration on the claim, we would find that it is because we assume that people will be overwhelmed by fear and passion, thus lacking the ability of reasoning, that we reach the conclusion that the society will be chaotic once we reveal the information. Yet, rationality is not something inborn but acquired. That is to say, no one can think in a right way without education. It is generally thought that education can lessen the gap between people and inject an atmosphere of equality into the society. Take an issue like gay marriage for example. In the past, we used to be loath to homosexual people. Nonetheless, thanks to education and thorough debates, we are getting increasingly familiar with such a group of individuals. Specifically, we should strive to construct a public sphere, even in a form of media, where we can share respective opinions and debate equally. In such a way, the whole society can form shared value and information, thus contradicting the assumption that people lacks rationality.

分析
The expansion of empty administration has some up sides. By showing universities are willing to keep up with the latest management fads and fashions, they gain credibility in the eyes of business and government. Empty administration makes some members of the university feel good about themselves. \\ But empty administration also comes at a significant cost. It is expensive, it is disheartening, and often it diverts universities from their core tasks. Instead of educating students, doing research and contributing to broader society, universities end up developing policies, ticking boxes and trying to climb up rankings.

作者: 猜cc 时间: 2017-8-21 17:32:02

本帖最后由猜cc 于 2017-8-21 19:55 编辑

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

大纲采用的是分类法，讨论衡量public will的三种方法存在的问题。

The will of people, also called general will, is a concept put forward by Rousseau, a philosopher in the Enlightenment, to fight against authoritarian and to ensure the freedom of the individual. It refers to the decision or opinion agreed by all the society or by the preponderance. However, it's more of an ideal state, because we can hardly know every people's view about every single public issue, and it's also harder for all the people to reach a consensus in every matter. In reality, what we usually use to measure the will of the public is voting, investigation or survey and the most popular viewpoints on the Internet. Considering that these three ways are always misleading, I back the recommendation that government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than enforcing the public will without questioning.

TS1: The decisions made by voting can be unreliable because the procedure remains lots of flaws.
1.1 sometimes many people wouldn't participate in voting. American presidential election in 2016, 55% voted, about30% supporting Trump.
1.2 it's often the case that voters barely know about the candidates. In China, the election of the deputy to the National People's Congress. In America, people only know candidates from TV debates. It just shows their screen image and public speaking skills.
1.3 voters change their standpoint very easily, like getting some bribery from the candidate.

TS2: The answers collected through investigations and surveys may also be deceptive sometimes because investigations are not well representative of the majority and the survey’s format can get wrong answers from people.
Investigation: only engage with a small number of people. Not very often used.
survey: assumes that there is no other possibilities except the choices it gave and also suppose that people will be honest in their answers; it's also unfriendly for those poor-educated people, because of the abstract questions.

TS3: Those popular expressions on the Internet would be more obfuscating because of the silencing effect of the social media.
Any people who dare to say something different will be criticized or even be condemned by irrational and impulsive Internet users.

感想和困惑：
我现在是一边倒的观点，不知道这样符不符合instruction的要求，因为我在构思的时候本来还想到了第四种衡量公意的方法，就是经过公共领域中理性、开放、完全的探讨之后，公众达成一致的意见，这种情况下的公意政府应该执行。这样就是3正一反，但又不知道应不应该加进去以及怎么加进去。

分析的范文：
经济学人8.19文章Reviving traditional culture——Making history，The Communist Partyis trying to redefine what it means to be Chinese文章节选：
……China is undergoing a cultural renaissance, much of it government-sponsored.
For most of its history the Communist Party wanted to smash China’s past, not celebrate it. Duringthe Cultural Revolution in the 1960s and 1970s it sought to overturn the “four olds”: old customs, old culture, old habits and old ideas. Temples, mansions and tombstones were ravaged, along with any artifacts or people associated with the bourgeois way of life. Small wonder that Communist ideology lost its appeal. The blistering pace of change in recent decades has kindled an anxiety that China is suffering from moral decay and a concomitant yearning for a revival of ancient values. The government is harnessing those feelings, using ancient rites and customs to spread favored values.
Since coming to power in 2012 Xi Jinping, the president, has intensified efforts to build what he refers to as “cultural confidence”. In an extraordinary denial of its legacy, the Communist Party has taken to presenting itself as “the faithful heir” of traditional Chinese culture. “Our civilization has developed in an unbroken line from ancient to modern times,” Mr Xi declared in 2012. In January the government sought to codify its attempts to “preserve” traditional culture by outlining a vast array of policies that local and national officials should advance.
Individual elements of the policy to promote “the integration of leisure life and traditional cultural development” sound rather benign. Taken together, however, they constitute an attempt to infuse daily life with a sanitized and government-sanctioned version of Chinese culture. The intention, as in so much that Mr Xi does, is to secure the enduring power of the Communist Party.

点评16楼：
结构还有待完善：
1.首段没有给出对recommendation的明确态度，只是在末尾点出关系很复杂。是不是可以稍微总结下你的三个分段的主题句，提炼出你的基本态度。比如你认为官员到底应不应该完全执行public will，你是考虑到哪些因素才有这样的结论。
2.中心句1政治家容易滥用权力，中心句2极权是政治领导者只依赖自己决定的结果，中心句3普通人没有处理政治问题的能力。1和2似乎讲的是一样的问题，1，2，3整体上有点自相矛盾。
3.中心句还可以再精炼，再贴合主题一点。比如你现在首段提出来讨论的是公众和政治精英的复杂关系，那第一段中心句其实可以改成politicians are prone to abuse power, which will do a great harm to public welfare.

补昨天的建议：
1. 觉得现在大家的点评热情没有之前那么高了，老师能否适当增加一些福利给每次认真点评的同学，以此鼓励大家点评？比如每次贴出上次点评认真的ID，上榜几次可以获得老师的针对性意见，这种针对性意见可以是综合个人之前写的文章，指出一些问题和建议等。
2. 老师对提纲的修改能否分一个等级，ABC这种，总之就是可以让大家知道哪些已经比较完善，适合写成全文，哪些逻辑上还有一定问题需要修改，哪些有严重偏题需要重新构思等等。

作者: bio-L 时间: 2017-8-21 20:59:24

本帖最后由 bio-L 于 2017-8-22 21:41 编辑

issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

1. 老领导可以继续的一般情况
老领导容易出一系列的问题，比如腐败corruption，而新的领导可以带来好的思想。
影响:规定不适应的情况领导能力出众，没有合适的替代者
2. 动荡的情况
需要新领导， ensure 发展和创新。
但是在一些时候反而需要老领导：维持稳定时比如政治经济等
。
3. 在不同领域的情况
政治，随时在变，经济，随时在变。新领导可以让经济跟上潮流，让政治符合人心
education（效果慢）
4. 总结：有必要退位，但分情况
  因为事态发展，人的思想不一定跟得上。但没必要硬性规定五年退位，因为不同的时候可能有不同的需求，不同的行业决定不同的退位时间。

To argue that in  any domain people must  resign after 5 years in power, others may proffer  many reasons. However, in different conditions of candidates, domains or companies and countries, we may have the specific and varied choice whether a leader should still stay or not.

Nevertheless, the proposed rule should apply to government officials who do need to leave their jobs after certain years. One may argue that just like corporate CEOs and university presidents, it also takes years for a government official to learn to do his/her job well and build his/her reputation.  This is true to some extent. But it is important to bear in mind that “government, even in its best form, is a necessary evil” as it takes away certain amount of freedom from the citizens in order to preserve peace and order. As a result, the power of the government officials have to be limited through the institutional arrangement that any officials, no matter how competent or reputable they are, have to step down after a certain number of years.  The risk of having a dictator justifies the cost of reducing the tenure of a capable leader.

Moreover, we should consider the consume ability of students as well. If we could penetrate students to study in other country, it is reasonable. But if we can't, the requiring may jeopardize students who are not so rich. It is because they may live in a hard condition in other country and feel frustrating to their daily. Then they have no mood to study and their score becomes shameful. Or they would choose to work after learning, it also impedes them to concentrate their notice on study and jeopardize their learning effect.

对于issue 8，我分conditions的原因很简单:分领域找不到例子……

点评20楼：
对于the risk，我认为不是cohesion的。
框架没有指出哦，不过应该是分类讨论的吧。首段啰嗦了，应该是一句话概括完题目要求，再表达自己的观点，并将主旨句表述在首段中哦。这样写会容易（展开）些。
开头第一句的which从句可用of  代替，第二句的which 前加“，”更好点，因为指代的是一句话。

作者: GoldenString 时间: 2017-8-21 21:05:49

62 .Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
提纲：第二种引进新conceps
TS:When talking about the leaders who mean the most standout people in one certain field, we all want to know the secret of becoming leaders. I don't argue that leaders are totally decided by the demands that placed on them. In most cases , what enables people to be leaders is their  strong communication skills, suitable qualifications and extensive experiences.

ts1:Strong communication skills are of great necessity to become a leader. Take the president who is the leader of one country as an example.First of all, in the daily work ,the president should communicate with various departments to deal with all kinds of the official affairs .Besides, keeping a close contact with people,delivering thoughts to people and listening to the voice of people are of great importance to be a qualified leader of one country who is willing to do practical things for people.What's more, the president  who stands for the whole country must master excellent diplomatic skills to communicate with other countries for the international exchange and corporation. It goes without saying that such strong communication skills would qualify people for leaders in the fields.

ts2:Apart from the Strong communication, leaders also need enough relevant learning and training to own suitable expertise and extensive experiences that are significant to qualify them for leaders.
eg:Most presidents are graduated from the law school or the business school where they learn a lot of laws and regulations and how to manage the public finance.
Meanwhile, they have worked as representives who take part in all kinds of the country's affairs and decision-making.
They also have served in the public sector where enable them to have chances to have experience of dealing with the similar positions.

Michelangelo，an outstanding leader in the art field during the Italian Renaissance.
training to acquire perfect drawing skills and expertise.( Dranging eggs Story)

ts3:Compered with strong communications , suitable qualifications and extensive experiences,  demands that people place on leaders are not a necessary factor of being leaders. whether the demands placed on leaders are necessary or not depends on the fields of leaders. For example, during the presidential election , people are willing to vote for those who can satisfy their demands for a leader who will develop economy and lower unemployment. Nevertheless, in the field of art, one becomes a leader before meeting the demands that placed on him most because of his suitable qualifications and expertise, such as Michelangelo.

老师范文段连贯性分析：
<On the other hand>,    {  there are exceptional circumstances in which ordinary people may become  (leaders ) while trying to address the ( demands)    at the moment.  }
On September 11, 2001, after three planes were hijacked and crashed to WTO twin towers and the Pentagon, the passengers of United Airline Flight 93 revolted against the hijackers and successfully diverted the airplane from the route to Washington D.C. where the hijackers planned to crash the airplane to the White House. We do not have details about the passengers’ heroic acts but it is safe to believe that some courageous passengers and crew members had responded to the emergency (demands)    for ( leadership ) after knowing the terrorist attacks that had happened earlier that day.
  These ordinary men and women became (leaders of a historical anti-terrorist ) mission without any prior training and experiences.
{Their (leadership ) was created by the (demands) placed on them and will be remembered in history.  }

点评五楼：
1）作者提纲还可以，调理清晰有序。
2）作者例子觉得挺丰富的，但是你那个外界环境决定领导者地位的例子用了美国在第二次世界大战后开始领导全球称霸我觉得不够完善！为什么美国会因为第二次世界大战后开始其领导地位，以及罗斯福新政为什么只有在那个背景下才可以成功，这个你没有讲。
3）作者语言没有什么太大差错，就不过多评价了~

作者: 长长的冬瓜糖 时间: 2017-8-21 21:13:29

丽丽酱香饼发表于 2017-8-20 17:35
issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in powershould ...

同学请问你是看的什么素材呢？感觉现在列提纲没思路然后有了一个思路想不到具体可以支撑的例子~谢谢！~

作者: 天行九歌 时间: 2017-8-21 21:40:10

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Whether or not unquestioningly carry out the will of the people,and to what extent the government officials should rely on their own judgements,in my opinion,this all depends on the different situation and could not be considered equally .I’d like to take three aspects that government is in charge as an illustration. If it’s for the military purpose,it may be understandable that government behave according to their own judgement.However,when it comes to the economics and education,the civil’s voices must be taken care very seriously.
First of all,military strength is directly connected with the country’s fate,and many policies need to be conducted without the whole country’s awareness.For instance,in the marginal area,there are always trades or conflicts happening frequently,the soilders who guard the coast line and land border not only to maintain the peace there,but also have to consider how will their behavior affect the international situation of our relationship with other country and our position and appeareance to the other country.Thus,it’s natural for them to get order directly from the center of our country without the people’s permission,because people usually know less about the central instructer’s secret(as a result of keep country’s secret from the foreign country).
Nevertheless,economics situation will largely influence the people’s life and the jobs that are available to them,it’s indispensible for them to vote for the related important government policy.People’s life style and their living standard is hardly distant from the government’s policy,since people need to give taxes to the country,and the price and currency’s value is decided by the financial policy,meanwhile the economics’ situation will directly influence the occupation available to the people.Take an example of the big bust happened in the 2008，people’s life is largely influenced by that stake,the whole nation urges the country to make suitable policy to face this risk,which reduce the bad condition and appeal the people’s loss.
In addition,education is the most important part in determining how the country will develop and cultivating talented people for the country,thus could be unignorable for the consideration of people’s opionion.For example,in China,the test for the whole country’s student to get access to the university is regared as one of the most important thing for the Chinese education.However,as a result of the old policy of the last century,several of them are not suited to the current condition but the government leader knows little about this.At that time,people’s opinion plays an important role in the change of the old policy,such as changing the percentage of the grades of certain subject in the whole test,or increase some other aspects,from this angle,people’s opinions really assist the government to make decisions.
In conclusion,for some aspects of the government policy,people’s perspectives and opinions are unforgettable and sometimes may be decisive,while for other aspects,it’s important for the government to make their own decision and not be disturbed by the people’s view.But,admittedly,it’s always significant to give people a plausible reason for their policies

作者: MaggieLLLLLL 时间: 2017-8-21 22:24:48

16. Some people believe that in order to be effective, political leaders must yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise. Others believe that the most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

In today’s democratic world, the role of political leaders has never been more critical as it guides people the way when more and more free thoughts have emerged. Some consider leaders who can compromise to general public’s opinions as great and with high efficiency, while others applaud leaders who can stick to certain principles without wavering. From my own perspective, those two views are all partially correct because a good political leader should maintain the balance between adhering to certain principles and taking into account the public interests.
TS1: A good leader shall never neglect his or her people’s voices. After all, ensuring citizens’ welfare should always be put as one of the top priorities. The importance of listening to the public: e.g. Hong Kong’s ban of smoking

TS2: However, blindly follow what general public think could arouse some problems when most of the citizens lack the proper knowledge, experience and information to make comprehensive judgements. E.g. GM food

TS3: Unfortunately, there may be chances that the public opinions are actually contradicts with the specific principles, in that case the political leaders should consider the specific issue carefully and find the balance with the help of other institutions under the legal framework. After all, the most basic principle should be to bring the better good to its citizens and people.
E.g. the Roosevelt New deal: economists

作者: TaylorW 时间: 2017-8-21 22:26:16

本帖最后由 TaylorW 于 2017-8-21 22:56 编辑

issue 62 leaders are created by demands

Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

TS： The fact that a leader’s name is always imbedded with certain historical events he/she strived leaves us an typical impression that it is the demands made one a leader .There is no wonder that demands challenge people and offer chances for potential ones to be leaders. While the statement seems to suggest that circumstances can make anyone a leader by simply place the demands on him/her. Such implication overlooked the very factor that a one process certain qualities to become a leader.

Pt1: The demands that are placed on him/ her challenge one to be a leader.
- During the great depression, Roosevelt carried out The Roosevelt New Deal and saved the U.S from bankruptcy.
- During industrial revolution, with horse-drawn cabs cannot fit people’s demand, Karl Benz invented the first motorized vehicle.

Pt2: However, the statement seems to suggest that anybody can become a leader if demands are placed on him or her, which is unwarranted.
-Among thousands of sprinters who wants to break the world record but there is only one Bolt who became a legend.
-Among millions of people there was only one person, Martin Luther King, who stood up for slaves.

Pt3: One must possess certain qualities to make a leader.
-Roosevelt has talents in biology, history, laws and military. He keep reading and acquire knowledge as a habit before saving the American economy.
-Karl Benz worked as an apprentice, a construction worker before he start his first business but end up as broke. However he didn’t give up. He became the leader of the cars empire.

我的中间段及连贯性分析

Pt1: To start with, the demands that are placed on him/her provide a certain circumstance for the potential person to be elected as a leader. In the early 19th century, American involved in a horrible economic crisis, the great depression. Roosevelt, the politics who can always turn around the bad situation, won the election. During his presidency, he came up with the Roosevelt New Deal which offered the America a second chance to revive. Roosevelt didn’t came from crowd, he was a governor before election. The crisis just give him a chance to be the leader. However the leader proved himself for times before huge crisis breaks, and it is the crisis engrave his name in history. Same story happened in business. During industrial revolution, horse-drawn cabs can no longer satisfied people's demand on transportation. Karl Benz and his motorized vehicle came into people's sight. Soon he became the leader of Cars Empire. While what beyond people's mind is that Karl Benz had his prototype for car seven years ago before that. So the demand never made a leader, it challenge a qualified individual to be a leader.

新闻连贯性分析：

Britain Calls on EU to Move Brexit Talks Forward
VOA
LONDON —
Brexit minister David Davis called on the European Union on Sunday to relax its position that the two sides must first make progress on a divorce settlement before moving on to discussing future relations.
After a slow start to negotiations to unravel more than 40 years of union, Britain is pressing for talks to move beyond the divorce to offer companies some assurance of what to expect after Britain leaves the EU in March 2019.
This week, the government will issue five new papers to outline proposals for future ties, including how to resolve any future disputes without "the direct jurisdiction of the Court of Justice of the European Union (ECJ)", Davis said.
"I firmly believe the early round of the negotiations have already demonstrated that many questions around our withdrawal are inextricably linked to our future relationship," Davis wrote in the Sunday Times newspaper.
"Both sides need to move swiftly on to discussing our future partnership, and we want that to happen after the European Council in October," he wrote, saying the clock was ticking.
EU officials have said there must be "sufficient progress" in the first stage of talks on the rights of expatriates, Britain's border with EU member Ireland and a financial settlement before they can consider a future relationship.

That has frustrated British officials, who say that until there has been discussion of future ties, including a new customs arrangement and some way of resolving any future disputes, they cannot solve the Irish border issue or financial settlement, two of the more difficult issues in the talks.
"There are financial obligations on both sides that will not be made void by our exit from the EU," Davis wrote. "We are working to determine what these are - and interrogating the basis for the EU's position, line by line, as taxpayers would expect us to do." He said the Brexit ministry would "advance our thinking further" with the new papers next week.
On the role of the ECJ, Davis said Britain's proposals would be based on "precedents" which do not involve the "direct jurisdiction" of the court, which is hated by many pro-Brexit ministers in the governing Conservative Party.
EU officials say the court should guarantee the rights of EU citizens living or working in Britain after Brexit.
"Ultimately, the key question here is how we fairly consider and solve disputes for both sides," Davis wrote.

我来点评其他网友
楼层： 25

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
作者提纲先补充了leader的定义，然后赞同了demand的重要性，然后分类三个角度strong communication skills, suitable qualifications and extensive experiences展开成为leader的因素
我觉得这个角度阐述路子很宽不像我局限在demand和leader是否有必然性之间论证很受限这个思路对我很有启发同时我也比较担心这个思路会不会因为对demand论证少转而论证strong communication skills, suitable qualifications and extensive experiences而被认为跑偏。因为如果题目说only demand成就了leader这样开展文章是绝对没问题的。希望老师能给予意见因为我很看好作者这个思路特别宽好写。而且这个思路对其他题目也有启发性。
2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
例子都合适的只有Dranging eggs Story这个不清楚是不是打错字了如果是画鸡蛋的故事不是Michelangelo 是 Leonardo Da Vinci 而且这个故事不知道在老外那边知名度有没有中国高

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
语言言简意赅思路清晰没有语言问题手动点赞！

作者: 国产耗子 时间: 2017-8-21 22:29:58

经济学人文章
TWELVE years ago Hurricane Katrina exposed the flood defences in New Orleans as a cruel joke. The floods unleashed by the storm marinated people's homes in fetid seawater and rendered much of the city uninhabitable for months. Since then, local and federal officials (the floodbanks that protect the city are designed by, built by and paid for by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers) have mostly been focused on making the low-lying, bowl-shaped city less vulnerable to a repeat of that catastrophe. Though the new hurricane defences have barely been tested so far, they are thought to be far superior to those that failed in 2005.

However, the focus on hurricanes seems to have led officials to neglect a far more pedestrian threat. Earlier this month, the city was sorely tested by thunderstorms, which hit New Orleans on just about any summer afternoon. On August 5th, around 25 centimetres (10 inches) of rain fell in just over three hours, flooding several neighbourhoods. Days after the flooding, with more rain forecast, Mayor Mitch Landrieu admitted that most flood defences were inactive, prompting John Bel Edwards, the governor of Louisiana, to declare a state of emergency. Schools closed; citizens were advised to leave their cars on higher ground where possible.

The episode highlights the inadequacy of the city’s ancient flood defences and the negligence of its officials in looking after them. New Orleans is still protected by a system of screw pumps invented by Albert Baldwin Wood just before the first world war. These pumps allowed the city's swamplands, most of which had previously been too wet to build upon, to be settled during the 1920s. Today, most of the pumps are still powered by steam turbines that operate on a frequency abandoned by most utilities around the time of World War II.
Though ancient, the pumps should prevent thunderstorms, if not hurricanes, from turning into existential threats. ......

提纲：issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

When it comes to high-tech area, Public are not as professional as government.
-军事／外贸／外交

It is not easy to satisfy most of the people they serve.
-众口难调，民意难一致
-民意不一定明智

Government is working for their people, they should hear the suggestion and feeling from people and then make decision.
-当政府失职，有权弹劾：韩国总统

点评27楼：
这三个方面分的好棒，思路赞！语言基础也很好，我要好好学习：）

作者: 战G进行时 时间: 2017-8-21 22:38:32

本帖最后由战G进行时于 2017-8-21 22:43 编辑

Leadership
issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
In any field, there are a few people standing on the peak and controlling the power. Some socialists claim that those powerful people should be replaced every five years. In my opinion, in business and politics, the people in power should be kept in their position if they do not make great mistakes, while the chairman in education should step down after five years.
主题句1 In business, it is better for the corporation not to replace those in power every five years.
具体例子或细节
Example 1: managers are intangible assets for a corporation. It takes years to cultivate a good manager.

主题句2 Similarly, powerful people in government should not step down after five years.
具体例子或细节
Example 1: keep the sustainability of policies.

主题句3 It is helpful for the promotion of education quality to replace the president of a school especially a university or a college.
具体例子或细节
Example 1: infuse new blood to the education

中间段写作分析
“In literary field, the advancement of literary works is inseparable from precedent achievements. For instance, Nietzsche, the well-known philosopher and critic, proposes his famous theory of tragedy based on comprehensive analysis of Greek culture, especially its tragedies. He uses Dionysus and Apollo in Greek myths to name his philosophical concepts, the former meaning catharsis and the latter symbolizing temperance. It is also true when it comes to literary works that past achievements are necessary to promote the development in certain field. John Bunyan is famous for his allegory The Pilgrims Progress, in which the vanity fair is an important scene where everything can be transacted. Thackeray borrows the name of “Vanity Fair” from Bunyan’s work as the title of his work, which perfectly suits the theme of his novel. Therefore, the past achievements in literary works is beneficial to the flourishment of literature.”
当时自己写的这一段以举例为主，逻辑性相对没有那么强。

Model Paragraph Analysis
[attach]644476[/attach]

点评9楼

1）提纲的框架是否合理？
框架很清楚，很合理。

2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
很合适，很有说服力

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
基本不存在问题，框架结构比较成熟

作者: ChiuChiKwan 时间: 2017-8-21 22:51:23

本帖最后由 ChiuChiKwan 于 2017-8-21 22:56 编辑

62.Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Frame: leaders are created by demands of era, leader’s ability and leaders’ own personality.

TS:  As an old saying goes, a hero is nothing but a product of his time. However, is a leader determined by the demands that are placed on her or him completely? As far as I am concerned, the appearance of leaders not only depends on the demands that are places on them,  which is called external condition, but also their ability and personalities, which means their personal charm or internal condition.

TS1: Demands of environment on leaders are the driving force of their existence.
Sun Yat-sen, who fought against the Qing dynasty, is a great leader. In his era, most of nations were going to develop capitalism while China still sticked to feudal system, which is out of date. As we know, those who submit will prosper, those who resist shall perish. Thus, he led people to fight for new China and ousted the monarch.

TS2: On top of external factor, the internal factors are essential as well. One factor is ability. A society without a talented leader is acephalous.
As we know, a president is selected by people. But why people choose him? Because they trust the leader have ability to lead them to build a better nation and a better society.

TS3: Another in need is personality. A leader not only have the ability to lead people to complete big tasks, but also have personality to  unite people and make the team or community more coherent.

In the period of Zhenguan, the reign of Tang dynasty, emperor Tangtaizong not only have ability to rule the nation, but also have great personality. He was willing to listen to others, especially loyal and wise secretries, such as WeiZheng, Zhangsun Wuji and so on.

连贯性分析TS1:
   Demands of environment on leaders are the driving force of their existence. With the demands and pressure from environment, someone need to stand out to lead people to finish the task. Otherwise, the only consequence is doom.Take Sun Yat-sen as an illustration, chances are that if he lived in a peaceful era, he would be an excellent doctor but not a great leader. It is the era and people that need him, call him and drive him a great leader. As we know, those who submit will prosper, those who resist shall perish.  Only revolution and reform took place could China develop. Thus he followed the trend of times and led people to fought against the Qing dynasty, which ended the period of feudal system in China. Thus, it is the demands of environment produce heroes.

文章分析
      Will UN sanctions have any real effect on N.Korea?（节选）

The 15-member UN Security Council unanimously approved new sanctions against North Korea on August 5, the seventh set of UN sanctions imposed on the country since it conducted its first nuclear test in 2006. The latest sanction measures include banning exports of coal, iron, lead and seafood products, which are reported to represent one-third of the country's total exports.

The resolution is "the single largest economic package ever" imposed on North Korea, and also "the most stringent set of sanctions on any country in a generation," according to US Ambassador to the UN Nikki Haley. According to the US, North Korea's nuclear program requires a huge amount of resources, so in the past the country failed to use its export revenues to improve people's lives. In this sense, the tough sanctions on North Korea will restrain it from obtaining resources, creating economic pressure to force it to give up the nuclear program.

Nevertheless, it remains unknown what the actual impact of the new sanctions will be and whether they can achieve the desired results. Moreover, North Korea's economic development over the past few years indicates that its economy seems to have changed, showing relatively strong economic resilience and a certain degree of "endogenous" momentum.

点评5楼同学的提纲
   Frame 不错啊！但是仔细想了之后，觉得是不是人民的要求和环境的要求会有重复之处呢？从连贯性的角度来说，运用了承上启下（external 和 internal）也用了第三种方法，不断地用不同的词来解释同一个意思，整体还是很棒的！值得学习！

作者: RACHanonym 时间: 2017-8-21 22:59:28

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Keyword: unquestioningly
I chose the second method to consider the issue in different contexts.
TS:
A government official who takes people’s will into action without doubt is not a wise one. The first thing that government officials ought to conduct is to learn what their people truly want. After that, officials can start to analyze how the status quo would be improved regarding people’s will. Knowing what to change and how to act, officials evaluate the worth of enacting new policies depending on their judgments, which is the decisive point of serving citizens well.

ts 1:
It is fundamental for government officials to establish a pool of problems bothering people to be solved.
e.g. : I want to use a principal serving students as an example. The principal of a secondary school has a mailbox for collecting students’ voices such as the cutting lunch costs, raising funds for a club, and reporting misbehaviors of a teacher. To serve students better, he first realizes what they need.

ts 2:
Considering problems above the table, government officials should think about ways of dealing with the issues.
e.g. : President Trump, after knowing that the rate of unemployment is rising up, drafted strategies to create massive job openings by moving manufacture factory back to the states.

ts 3:
These two steps are not enough for government officials. The most crucial step is making decisions whether to change or not hinging on pros and cons of enacting policies. Officials with critical thinking can have reasonable evaluations.
e.g. : If government officials are unquestioningly obedient to people, they would be regarded as good officials in people’s eye but not wise. A government has its annual budget and plan. If officials always stick to carry out people’s will, they would do poorly in controlling budgets in human resources and financial costs, which ultimately harms the future of the government and people.

中间段分析：
<How to stop neo-Nazis from mobilizing on the street: lessons from Europe>
That said, it can be particularly difficult to distinguish between fascists and non-fascists, as there are growing ranks of online provocateurs who claim to flirt with fascist ideology in an ironic manner. But this ambiguity dissipates as neo-Nazi groups organize onto the street. It’s easy to spot a neo-Nazi, when they shout Nazi slogans, deny the Holocaust, and carry Nazi insignia—as they did in Charlottesville.

点评31楼：
1）提纲的框架是否合理？
合理，有分类的讨论。建议：第二点是不是可以更递进一些？

2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适可以再多一些描述

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
很直白没有问题

作者: Joker—XYZ 时间: 2017-8-21 23:03:30

本帖最后由 Joker—XYZ 于 2017-8-22 11:00 编辑

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种，分类讨论，具体来说：1.民众正确 2.民众不客观3.民众角度经验有限

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
The relationship between government officials and people they serve is a hot topic. It is argue that government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve. In my opinion,citizens' practical experience can helps to solve some problems, but sometimes they may be blind because their own interests or points,government officials still need to have their own judgments to find the best solution.

主题句1
Sometimes citizens have a better solution for practical problems in daily life.
example:Chinese government canceled roaming charges for cellphones because citizens' opposition.

主题句2
However,citizens naturally analyze problems from their own point of view,in contrast,government officials can consider the problems impartially.

example: Some people blame doctors for failures of operations even though the doctors had tried their best and the diseases were out of control.

主题句3
In addition,citizens may only get solutions from individual views ,government officials can consider problems from society aspect.
example:Graduates are struggling to find a job,government promotes starting up business to release the employment pressure.

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑

开头的主旨句是否太啰嗦，用词可能比较简单。

1.conjunction
2.Reference
3.lexical chain
4.Signalling noun
Consider the leadership in business world first. With the separation of ownership and management in modern corporations, it is important for the stockholders to trust the managers of the businesses. But to earn the trust of the stockholders often takes a relatively long period of time. The managers will need to demonstrate their competence as leaders through years of services and accumulate more experience while working with the staff to develop the best strategic plans for the long-term development of a company. Once the manager reaches the top management, s/he will become a valuable asset that the company cannot afford to lose. If s/he has to leave the position in five years, the company will have to start over the process of cultivating a leader all over again. Therefore, to save money for the investors of the company, this rule should not apply.

我来点评其他网友
楼层： 32

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理。结构清晰。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适。第三个例子可以更具体一点。

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？

挺好的。

作者: 长长的冬瓜糖 时间: 2017-8-21 23:15:07

完整题目

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种分不同情况考虑，在基础设施建设如建博物馆还是playground等问题上应该基于people's will，在指定法律国家发展方针上应该rely on official's judgement,但是official 也不能做的太过，否则会导致支持率下降

开头段全文：Few people can deny the significant role government officials would play in the development of a country and the well-being of the citizens living in it. Then, when these officials have to make major decisions, whether should they do it based on their own judgment or should they unquestioningly carry the will of their citizens? In my opinion, it should be determined on a side-by-side basis. That is, to make decision of the construction of infrastructures in a society, the officials should follow more to citizens' will, while concerning issuing laws, they should rely on their own judgement. However, even in this situation, government officials should not rely on their mind absolutely without hearing the voice from the common

主题句1
Firstly, when comes to the construction of infrastructure, government officials should listen more to citizens' will in order to meet people's need to the most extent.
具体例子或细节
imagine situation: the citizens in one city would prefer playground to do exercise while the government build an art museum only based on their own judement, which would not be favored by people.

主题句2
In other circumstances, such as issuing laws or making strategies for the development of society, government officials should rely more on their own judgement to make a justified one.
具体例子或细节
1. tax law; some people not want to pay tax; cannot carry out this will
2. imagine example: an agricultural society has to change to an industrial one; some people not want to; damage their interests; however, cannot follow their will

主题句3
However, this does not mean that those government officials can make their decisions without hearing people's voice, which might lead to a low government approval rating.
具体例子或细节
罗斯福连任4届都被刺杀了，别提不听从民意~（这个例子下去查下怎么表达）

作者: 长长的冬瓜糖 时间: 2017-8-21 23:15:21

本帖最后由长长的冬瓜糖于 2017-8-21 23:27 编辑

完整题目

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种分不同情况考虑，在基础设施建设如建博物馆还是playground等问题上应该基于people's will，在指定法律国家发展方针上应该rely on official's judgement,但是official 也不能做的太过，否则会导致支持率下降

开头段全文：Few people can deny the significant role government officials would play in the development of a country and the well-being of the citizens living in it. Then, when these officials have to make major decisions, whether should they do it based on their own judgment or should they unquestioningly carry the will of their citizens? In my opinion, it should be determined on a side-by-side basis. That is, to make decision of the construction of infrastructures in a society, the officials should follow more to citizens' will, while concerning issuing laws, they should rely on their own judgement. However, even in this situation, government officials should not rely on their mind absolutely without hearing the voice from the common

主题句1
Firstly, when comes to the construction of infrastructure, government officials should listen more to citizens' will in order to meet people's need to the most extent.
具体例子或细节
imagine situation: the citizens in one city would prefer playground to do exercise while the government build an art museum only based on their own judement, which would not be favored by people.

主题句2
In other circumstances, such as issuing laws or making strategies for the development of society, government officials should rely more on their own judgement to make a justified one.
具体例子或细节
1. tax law; some people not want to pay tax; cannot carry out this will
2. imagine example: an agricultural society has to change to an industrial one; some people not want to; damage their interests; however, cannot follow their will

主题句3
However, this does not mean that those government officials can make their decisions without hearing people's voice, which might lead to a low government approval rating.
具体例子或细节
罗斯福连任4届都被刺杀了，别提不听从民意~（这个例子下去查下怎么表达）

第一个主体段（分析连贯性）
Firstly, when comes to the construction of infrastructure, government officials should listen more to citizens' will in order to meet their need to the most extent. It is no secret that the direct beneficiaries of the infrastructures in our society, such as museums, playgrounds and music halls, are residents living in the city. It is those people that know what they really want and what they really need. For example, if the majorities of the people in a city are health-conscious and would do regular exercises each night, what their real demand is a community playground where they can take a walk after a meal, or dance with their peers in leisure time, or run several cycles in order to keep fit. However, if the government officials in this city do not notice this demand and instead invest numerous financial budget into building an art museum for a purported benefit of enriching citizens' life, people would never favor nor really benefit from this construction, which would be a waste of money.

作者: 安歌 时间: 2017-8-21 23:18:32

128) Some people argue that successful leaders in government, industry, or other fields must be highly competitive. Other people claim that in order to be successful, a leader must be willing and able to cooperate with others.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

While craftsmanship requires traits such as diligence and determination, leadership, is an art that require the ability of cooperation. Leaders, whether in government, industry or in other fields like public institutions, should be able to unify team members by working along harmoniously with them and by means of which, creates an environment of cooperation among members of the team.
Leaders in government should be willing to cooperate with others. As head of the state, government leaders are responsible for attending to various state issues. In order to carry out certain policies successfully, s/he must work along with heads of departments including department of finance, public health, security, etc. In circumstances when head of governments cannot cooperate well with other officials or institutions, not only will the public watch an amusing fight between these public figures, but the policies or regulations cannot be put into operation as well, making the society take the loss.
Leaders in business must be willing and be able to cooperate with others. A good business leader is an expert at setting up connections. To run a successful business, leaders should be able to make use of various resources. This requires them to cooperate with others, including other companies or institutions. In addition, a good business leader should be able to make the best of his/her employees. Finding the most suitable person for certain position, s/he must cooperate with his/her staffs in order to make good performances. …
Leaders in other fields including public institutions must be able to cooperate. NGOs such as Grass and Roots need to cooperate with governments and industries in order to promote their green ideas and to improve the environment by encouraging broad participation. …
In conclusion, as for leaders, no matter in government, industry or other fields, those who are willing and be able to cooperate can be successful.
分析连贯性
Consider the leadership in business world first. With the separation of ownership and management in modern corporations, it is important for the stockholders to trust the managers of the businesses. But to earn the trust of the stockholders often takes a relatively long period of time. The managers will need to demonstrate their competence as leaders through years of services and accumulate more experience while working with the staff to develop the best strategic plans for the long-term development of a company. Once the manager reaches the top management, s/he will become a valuable asset that the company cannot afford to lose. If s/he has to leave the position in five years, the company will have to start over the process of cultivating a leader all over again. Therefore, to save money for the investors of the company, this rule should not apply.

作者: keaixiaotang 时间: 2017-8-21 23:27:33

16.Some people believe that in order to be effective, political leaders must yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise. Others believe that the most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented

Before the political leaders make a decision, it’s wise for them to listen to the public at first and collect their opinions. Because the objection of the government is to serve the people. They need to analyze different groups’ profits and make a good balance between them. However, when making a decision, the political leaders should commit to a particular principle and objective instead of yielding to public opinion and abandoning principle just for the sake of compromise. Because by doing that, it’s not only more effective to deal with one thing, but also make the political leaders more authoritative. What’s more, if the political leaders do a good job using that way, it will make them more reliable and then improve their authority.

Democracy is very important in a country. If the political leaders do a good job in democracy, it will help them to implement the policy. Listening to public opinion before making a decision is necessary.
Eg. In order to improve the traffic jam, Beijing make a vehicle restriction rule which sets that a car with a particular license number can not be driven out in a particular area. Before implementing that rule, the political leaders listened to the public.

If political leaders yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise every time. Their authority will be diminished. It is not helpful for them to implement the policy. By doing that, maybe it is effective to deal with one thing. But the results will not necessarily good for the public. Because there are different groups who represent different profits which might be contradict with each other. Then the political leaders should yield to which group? Yielding to one group, and then changing to another? There will be a chaos.

Political leaders are people who have been chosen out of outstanding people. We should believe their ability to make a right decision. It will be more effective for them to collect the public’s opinion and then make a decision which committed to a principle and objectives. That’s what they are working for. If they actually do a good job, that will help improve the mutual-trust between them and the public。

王老师范文找cohesion

In democratic society, government officials are often held responsible for their decisions related to their office duty. If they failed to perform their duties and satisfy their constituencies, they may lose the next election. Therefore, some people believe that government officials should make their decisions according to the will of the people
instead of making their own judgments over different issues. In my opinion, government officials should always consult the public opinions when formulating important policies. Nevertheless, it is not reasonable to carry people’s will unquestioningly because over important issues people are often divided and poorly informed. Therefore, government officials should do their jobs by taking into account various factors and let the people decide if they did a satisfactory job overall in the next election。

困惑：1.找不到素材例子怎么办？2.老师您这次所讲的cohesion 是不是也是同义指代的一种？

作者: A.E.extrovert 时间: 2017-8-21 23:30:20

本帖最后由 A.E.extrovert 于 2017-8-21 23:33 编辑

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Should government officials rely on their own judgment or unquestioningly carry out people’s will ? From my points of view, the answer of the question should depend on what kinds of problem they are concerning about. For the problem referring to the whole national interest, the government should take the main responsibility to make the decision while in the terms of some livelihood issue, government officials’ judgments should fully rely on the will of people.Besides, the government and the public can also discuss and deal with problems together.

The government officials have their own idea when the issue refer to the whole national profits.The public sometimes can not be rational, irritate by media or some other institute with harmful idea to the society
E.g. Brexit vote, war decision

Also the government should give fully respective to people’s will when the problem closely related to livelihood of ordinary people as the officials may can not experience the life that people are going through.
E.g.The price of electricity, daily resources consumption.

However, as for some polity implements, the government and public can handle it together ensuring the right and suitable choose are decided.
E.g. president vote.environment protection.

Example:
Nevertheless, it is unrealistic to expect the government officials to follow people’s will blindly because people are often divided over important social issues. For example, gay and lesbian marriage has been a hot issue in the United States in recent years. While more and more Americans have become tolerant of homosexual couples, there are still a significant group of conservatives who oppose fiercely the idea of gay and lesbian marriage. Given the deep disputes over the issue, it is not possible for the government to “carry out people’s will” because there is no consensus in the society on this issue. The government will always be against certain people’s will no matter what it does. Ultimately, the government officials have to make their own judgments taking into the account the public opinions, the laws as well as the overall public interests

作者: 天地1沙鸥 时间: 2017-8-21 23:45:42

本帖最后由天地1沙鸥于 2017-8-21 23:46 编辑

issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

方法1和3
Step down means to relinquish their power and we should view from different perspectives scientists/ politicians/ merchants

我的提纲如下
TP：
With the increasing popularity of a superior series showed on TV, the House of Cards, where the actors behave viciously abusing the political power. Here comes a heated debate on whether those who are in power should step down after certain years? As far as I am concerned, sharing the power of the dominating people alternatively after several years deed makes senses in some areas like politics. While in the contrary， the power should not transfer in some other areas like science, business.

TS1
First of all, it is absolutely indispensable for politicians to follow the rules that changing the dominating people after certain years to keep the governments from corruption and bribes.
Example: the president of USA, must obey the basic rule that could not be in position over 8 years to forbid them foster their own organizations to interfere the democratic decisions.
Reason: if sufficient flexibility exists in the politics, especially for changing the positions of the leaders, the dictatorship could be escaped and then the chances for corruption could also be avoided as a result.

Cohension红色同类词蓝色为逻辑词
First of all, it is absolutely indispensable for politicians to follow the rules that changing the dominating people after certain years to keep the governments from corruption and bribes. As we all know, those bureaucrats who master a certain area or aspects over a long period would be likely to foster the monarch. Under this circumstance, there is a larger chance of creating the ground of bribes as the inferior bureaucrats tend to cater to the leaders. On the contrary, if sufficient flexibility exists in the politics, especially for changing the positions of the leaders, the dictatorship could be escaped and then the chances for corruption could also be avoided as a result. For example, the president of USA, must obey the basic rule that could not be in position over 8 years to forbid them foster their own organizations to interfere the democratic decisions.

TS2
However, the reality is that those who are in power to constanly dominate the science area may be more benefical.
Example: Enstain had long been the 权威 in physics, who contributes alot to the physics improvement
Reason: Because the science outcomes are based on the former foundation, therefore those who are the leaders is more likely to find out the larger breakthrough and then rapidden the progress of science.

TS3
In addition, there is an indispensible need for the experienced dominating people to last their power in businesses.
Example: the Apple company, which repalce the original CEO Jobs by others, suffer a hard time.
Reason: Companies should keep a consistent style over a long period and avoid sharp change to escape from disturbing the customers
感觉还是需要对逻辑连接词进行进一步强化，不是很明显

作者: 芸乔 时间: 2017-8-21 23:52:49

本帖最后由芸乔于 2017-8-22 00:14 编辑

issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Intro
In regard to the power, the tenure and the corruption, the vitalization are usually related. The statement assigns that leaders should not be in his/her tenure for more than five years in the field of business, education and government. However, I tend to argue that the limited tenure in the government is essential while the requirement of the period of tenure should be more flexible.

TS1
In the field of business, some of the leaders have tightly connected with the name or brand of the company, and it would be arbitrary to demand he/she to quit after five years. In this case, the change of leadership may raise doubts as to the new leaders reliability and capability.
Eg. Steve Jobs & Apple, Bill Gates & Microsoft, Jack Ma & Alibaba
Insights and experience

TS2
If we switch our attention to the field of education, the compulsory period of leadership is not advisable.
Eg. time for a reasonable educational system

TS3
Nevertheless, in the world of politics, the proposed argument should apply to the government officials.
Compelling reason: policies not consistent
Eg. avoid corruptions, revitalization

不知道例子是否得当，一些短语的用法是否正确

分析老师范文issue 50
Nevertheless, it is unrealistic to expect the government officials to follow people’s will blindly because people are often divided over important social issues. For example, gay and lesbian marriage has been a hot issue in the United States in recent years. While more and more Americans have become tolerant of homosexual couples, there are still a significant group of conservatives who oppose fiercely the idea of gay and lesbian marriage. Given the deep disputes over the issue, it is not possible for the government to “carry out people’s will” because there is no consensus in the society on this issue. The government will always be against certain people’s will no matter what it does. Ultimately, the government officials have to make their own judgments taking into the account the public opinions, the laws as well as the overall public interests.

分析自己的段落：
If we switch our attention to the field of education, the compulsory period of leadership is not advisable. Principals, responsible for the development of the university, ought to have enough experience in building up a sounded educational system. In order to promise the smooth operation of a system, he/she has to spend years in raising money, attracting celebrated scholars, applying to an advanced educational system and modifying it, which takes much longer than five years. If an ambitious principal is demanded to leave his/her position in five years, many ideas would not be systematically and effectively implemented. Therefore, if the leaders of the university are insightful, the tenure should be extended for the better development of the university.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
点评21楼：
Issue 104/107
To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.

整体结构很好，有一些用词可以润色，显得更正式一点。
开头段不说了，写得挺明确的。

中间段：
TS1.最后一句：If a political official is accepted by the citizens, their political goals are more likely to get.
Goals 可以用 achieve 或attain

TS2.However, the high moral standards does(改为do) not guarantee the effectiveness of a leader, in the same way, the non-possession of high moral is not undoubtedly relate to incompetent. (relate不用被动) 最后应该是名词incompetence?
例子里面提到秦始皇是winner of all these wars，但是上文没提到是哪些war，估计阅卷人也不懂，这个例子可以写得更好一些。

后面两个例子没有太多建议。层主对罗斯福很了解啊~例子都用得挺不错的~~

作者: xiulin2015 时间: 2017-8-22 00:01:57

Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

In my opinion, government officials must contemplate over the will of people who consists of the society and makes contributions to the community when making the policies and its implementation. Ignoring the will of people and relying on government officials’ own judgement would usually lead to the perfidy to governance. It would be worse if government acts against the will of people for the sake of their own interests and the conflict between government and its people would come up with an unstable economic and political situation. Even when government needs to sacrifice people's short-term interests to secure national security and ensure the nation's long-term goal, it is necessary to negotiate with interest bodies of the society and seek for the common standings.
T1 The loyalty to government is established on the mutual grounds with its people. Ignoring the will of people but replying on officials’ own judgement would usually result in the perfidy to the governance. If we look into current Trump government, the citizens in United States are very disappointed to its lacking of common grounds with its people and creating barrier to the nation’s liberal policies such as Mexican Wall. The resentment to the racist and liberalists have been worsened than the previous governments and Trumpism becomes the negative word to its nation and its image as the greatest nation in the world has been deteriorated seriously.
T2 The disconnection with the people’s wills would come up with unstable economic and political scenario and weaken its sustainability. the cultural revolution in Chinese history is the disaster to the nation’s development.
T3 It is necessary for the people to understand the nation’s long term goal and officials seeking opportunities to talk mutually on the common standings

quoted from AIdaily on August 21

There is a good reason that liberals focus extra attention on minorities, since they are the most likely to be disenfranchised. But the only way in a democracy to meaningfully assist them — and not just make empty gestures of recognition and "celebration" — is to win elections and exercise power in the long run, at every level of government. And the only way to accomplish that is to have a message that appeals to as many people as possible and pulls them together. Identity liberalism does just the opposite, and reinforces the alt-right’s picture of politics as a war of competing identity groups. ( the cohesion of paragraph is centered on the liberals and identity liberalism and clarification on how liberals and identity liberalism work; the coherence is strengthened by the conjunctions such as since, but, and. Specifically to say, it used the repetition of "the only way” to emphasis and elaborate on the way liberals works and make the “opposite" way to “liberalism". )

作者: powerfulbean 时间: 2017-8-22 00:02:42

本帖最后由 powerfulbean 于 2017-8-22 00:07 编辑

issue 62 leaders are created by demands

Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我采用第三种，从不同角度解释观点的正确性。

Intro
Some people believe that leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them, but this claim should be carefully scrutinized. In most cases, the leaders are selected by others because of their skills, talents, or strong abilities, they are often placed on demands after becoming leaders. Nevertheless, in certain exceptional circumstances, people can become leaders in response to the demands like emergencies.

TS1
In academic field, those who become leaders of certain fields is because of their brilliant achievements of the fields, they have the ability to push the researches ahead.
Eg. In the Computer Science field, many new concepts ,which are not immediately used by others at that time, are found by the researchers following leaders who are fond of developing new theories. To be exactly, Machine Learning is now one of the most popular techniques, but it was actually firstly put forward in last century. The leader of it are not demand by the software industry, but now he becomes one of the most famous masters in Machine Learning.

TS2
In the daily life, such as during the work, the leaders become leaders are because of their professional management skills.
Eg. In the IT industry, a product manager need be familiar with many techniques, including development, test, demand or other things,.
Eg Also, the leader of teachers have more teaching skills.

Ts3
As we all know, when facing problems or emergencies, ordinary people are demanded to be leaders because there are no other choices.

Coherence & Cohesion Analysis
Model Paragraph
In addition to communication skills, leaders also have to receive relevant training to acquire the professional qualifications and expertise that are necessary for the leadership positions. Referring to the examples of leaders in academic research field again, it is clear that anyone interested in joining an editorial board of a top journal or becoming the chairperson of an academic association must, in addition to holding a PhD in relevant fields, have published influential papers in the field and accumulated extensive administrative experiences. Usually with such publication records and relevant experiences, the person will be able to get the jobs as the leaders. In other words, taking the leadership roles in an institution does not necessarily relate to the demands for leadership.

Ts3感觉例子没太想好，但是感觉老师的例子很棒。

作者: Dover999 时间: 2017-8-22 00:03:19

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

It’s really delighted to see that democracy has replanted monarchy within the past hundreds of years in many places. However, democracy doesn’t mean that the government officials should always obey to the will of people. We know that the government has three branches, namely congress (the legislative system), president (the leader), the courts (the judicial branch). These three branches are relatively independent or we call it shares checks and balances. More specifically, each one of the three branches can’t hold all the power for itself. Hence, it’s is only the public people who determine the future of a state. Let me talk about it in detail.
TS1
The individual or some certain group trends to acts out their own interest. So in this case, usually they neglect the whole interest.
TS2
Besides, the public people sometimes are lack of specific knowledge. Hence, when it comes to decide the oriental of development of science and technology, it is mainly decided by the government officials. For example, the funds are usually decided by the NSF.
TS3
Though the government have enough experience to govern the country, they have to listen to their people for their succession.

This issue seems not difficult to work out in the first sight. However, the supporting examples are not easy to find.

作者: telepathyivan 时间: 2017-8-22 00:03:45

issue 16/50/86/114/115/139

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
In regard to constructing a democratic society, government officials are elected to represent and perform people’s will. When it comes to make decisions, they have to balance the proportion of their own judgement and people’s opinion. Some people argue that government officials have to unquestioningly follow the will of people they serve because they become who they are as the result of people’s support and they are just representatives. However, I maintain that government officals should consult people’s opinions and make reasonable judgement, taking many other factors into consideration. Therefore, a stable, democratic and progressive society can be expected.

To begin with, government officals need to consult pulic opinions about things closely related to their everyday life.
Eg.Infrastructure

Moreover, leaders in government should make judgements based on many other aspects like long-term benefits when it comes to direct the future of nation.
Eg. Roosevelt New Deal

In addtion, heads of government should never follow people’s opinions blindly because they are selected not to simply serve as a loud hailer but people who can stand higher to guide others.
Eg. Media manipulate people.
明天补后面的连贯性和他人评价

作者: sweepyou 时间: 2017-8-22 01:05:47

本帖最后由 sweepyou 于 2017-8-22 01:31 编辑

69:
Some people believe it is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public. Others believe that the public has a right to be fully informed.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

用了第三种框架（应该是），分别讨论了普通民众和精英（专业人士）获得信息的必要性，第三段为让步段（参考了老师的），认为和国土安全相关的机密信息应当被保密一段时间。
TS: In order for effective political participation for the public, both the common citizens and elites, information should be accessible by all the stakeholders in most cases. Admittedly, some classified information could be withheld for a certain time.

ts1:
For every common citizen, full access to information is the prerequisite to well-performed political participation.

-Unlike ancient Greek or Rome, most modern democratic countries adopt the framework of representative democracy. In this circumstance, citizens not fully informed are inclined to be led blindly by those in power.
e.g. During the president election, if not fully informed about the candidates, voters tend to make their judgement based on propaganda and slogans, but not the politician's real capability.

-Especially, in authoritarian countries, the governors and elites tend to withhold information for their own interest; Therefore, in order to participate in political issues, the citizens need to strive for the right get access to information.
e.g. During environmental impact assessment, without pertinent information, citizens are not able to protect their quality of life.

ts2:
For elites, such as scholars and professionals, being well-informed is beneficial for their decision-making in certain areas.

-Unlike professionals, like scholars, doctors or attorneys, political leaders don't have the say in certain fields. It's necessary for professionals to get access to certain information

ts3:
Admittedly, for some information concerning security, it should not be accessible to all the common people, but only to a few political leaders and certain specialists. Nevertheless, after a certain period it still needs to be declassified.
e.g. The U.S. government's hunt for Bin Laden

Cohesion分析：是在The New York Times看到的一篇，I voted for Trump and I sorely regret it
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/17/opinion/sunday/i-voted-for-trump-and-i-sorely-regret-it.html

Yet after more than 200 days in office, Mr. Trump’s behavior grows only more reprehensible. Meanwhile, his administration has no significant legislative accomplishments — and no apparent plan to deliver any. Wilbur Ross’s Commerce Department has advanced some sensible and appropriately incremental changes to trade policy, but no long-term agenda has been articulated. Senators Tom Cotton and David Perdue’s recently proposed legislation offers a sound basis for reforming immigration policy, but seems to have no prospects and has received comparatively little attention. The administration inexplicably downgraded infrastructure and corporate tax reform — issues with potentially broad-based support — to pursue a warmed-over version of Paul Ryan’s Obamacare repeal, which ended, predictably, in a humiliating failure.
整段都是在说施政过程中“预想的”事情和实际发生的事，通过时间对比体现连贯性。

点评22L：
你选择的例子正好是我一开始想到的，比如earthquake但我觉得难以论证就放弃了。而你用的驳论法很有说服力，也是难度很大的一种写法。
开头段：开头段稍微有点模板化，可以适当简略省出时间来写干货，或者在首段引入一些之后可能出现的概念解释。

之后ts2,3为什么开头都是on the other hand?

另外，根据回应关键字的原则，每段ts最好都带上关键字诸如well informed，对于新出现的关键字，比如education, freedom of speeh, 需要指出和题目关键字之间的关系。

1,2段整体的感觉就是例子和论证比较有说服力，但和题目的关系不够紧凑，最终没有说明到底要不要信息公开；ts3的长句需要再整理一下，有点不够简明。

作者: justicekl 时间: 2017-8-22 10:00:34

model essay:
To begin with, I strongly believe that government officials should consult the public frequently and systematically before introducing important policies. For one thing, the government officials should always take into account the people’s opinions when developing relevant policies in order to better meet the needs of the people. For example, before the Hong Kong government decides to tighten the ban on smoking in public space, it has run a public consultation for over 3 months to collect people’s opinions on this issue. A better understanding of what people think about the issue can inform the policy-making process. In addition, hearing people’s voices on the proposed policy will further legitimize the policy and make it easy for the government to later enforce the policy. The ban of smoking, for example, would be much easier if the society has reached a consensus about the issue.

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Government is a big organization to help the civilian to achieve the common goal and better life. Thus, it’s not doubt that the government should hear some the ideas from their people and try to help them to live better lives. However, this is not to mean that government should listen to the all ideas from people and follow them without other judgement.In my opinion, while consider about some of the people’s thought ,the government should make the final decision by itself because the government is always the specialized authority. What’s more? The people themselves have deverse ideas and can not achieve a consensus and their ideas may be too arbitary and short-sighted.

TS1:Government is always the specialized authority.
Reason: Government consisted of almost the most talented people in politics around the country,so the specialized knowledge forms the foundation for them to make a right decision while the people ideas are from different people with different level and quality.
People choose a pack of elite to form a government as an organization because they trust them and their knowledge.Making decision is what government should do and is what people espect them to do.
TS2: Second, people from different background seem impossible to make the same decision because everyone is selfish and wants to gain the most profit for their own.
Ex:For example,considering about the problem of restrict the use of the cars, some people don’t think it’s necessary because cars provide them with a lot of convenience and comfort for their commute everyday. However, some people feel disgusted about too many cars sticking on the road without a move in a long time.You can’t achieve a consesum by the diverse ideas
This is to say, to carry out the people’s will is not a practical implement in modern society.
TS3: I don’t mean that we should not take into acount the diverse ideas from different kinds of people.As a genuine government , it should consider about all kinds of people from different class and make a final decision that satisfy all people . This is a hard problem for all the officers, the elite who form the government. Some politics and regulation should be introduced to make should they can hear the voice from the people and hear the people’s ideas without abusing their prevelige. And the government should be monitored by other institution such as the Procuratorate,media and so on.In this way, the government can achieve a great success and thus our people’s lives.

In conclusion, we should rely on the judegments from the government because they are more specialized and the ideas from people are too diverse and unsophisticated. However, before making its decision, government should consider thoroughly the all kinds of ideas from people through some approach such as vote. Only in this way, the government can fulfill/do its duty and truly helps with its people.

作者: beener322 时间: 2017-8-22 10:01:37

提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

作者: flhope 时间: 2017-8-22 10:23:19

50) Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

开头段：
The Government responsible for maintaining the development and harmony of society is required to make decisions and focus policies mainly on three aspects—namely foreign affairs, resources distribution and livelihood issues. Given the fact that people do not have a comprehensive and profound understanding about the first two cases and sometimes they cannot reach a consensus even on livelihood issues which they are closely associated with, I agree that government officials should make a final decision based on their own judgment instead of blindly follow the will of the public who are likely to lack long-term vision.

Ts1
Foreign affairs are inevitable for a country to face, which is so crucial that the Government need to depend on their own judgement with long-term vison rather than refer to the people unquestioningly.
e.g. sovereignty issues; international affairs such as economic cooperation and cultural interaction
Ts2
In addition to the politic issue, resources distribution is likewise of paramount importance and it is well-qualified officials of the government but the public who can consider it holistically.
e.g. funding distribution for researches; educational resources distribution; natural resources allocation
Ts3
While decision-makers are obliged to consider properly the voice of the public who are directly associated with livelihood issues, they should still take it as reference and rely on their own judgement to make a sagacious decision instead of blindly adopting people’s diverse and inconsistent advice.
e.g. rich people want more private clinics regardless of cost, while indigent ones desire public hospital and well-covered health insurance; similar conflict between public & private school; house issues

作者: 遠子w 时间: 2017-8-22 11:04:02

In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

It is always argued that importing new blood into the top management level is essential to ensure the prosperity of any enterprise in any field. And one way to do it is to limit the term of office of those leaders in power to ensure leadership replacement. The stipulated terms should run off in few years, for example, five years. While I agree that revitalization in the top management level might be important to an enterprise, we should also take potential costs and risks into consideration. In business and educational field, stability and experience are more important than revitalization; so I do not think that the term of office in these fields should be limited to few years. However, in the political field, the term of office indeed should be restricted not only to revitalize the enterprise but also to prevent power abuse and corruption.

TS1
In the business and educational field, stability within the management level is a great consideration. In the business world, leaders usually serve for copious amount of time, sometimes their whole life. Change of leadership in top management level may imply a change in the direction of business strategy and focus. Without severe problems in top management level, constant alteration in the leadership is usually not necessary. New leadership may bring significant risk to the company, for example, severe loss due to leaders’ inexperience or strategic incoherence. Therefore, frequent changes in the leadership may bring instability and additional risk to the company. Moreover, in the educational field, the experience is an influential factor that affects leadership. Any recreation within the educational system should be based on empirical experiences of those in power. For example, department heads usually discover problems within the department and adjust the course structure based on their long-term observation. Therefore, revitalization within education is not based on constant change of leadership but observation and experience.

TS2
The situation in the political field, however, is different from that in business and educational field. In many developed countries such as the United States, presidents or senators should step down after four years in service to ensure democracy and prevent power abuse. Reelections are held every four years. We often observe constant changes in the leadership of political field. In the real world, limited term in office is stipulated not only due to the need for adjusting national policies but more importantly due to the fear of power abuse and corruption. Power abuse and corruption can bring significant consequences such as misuse of the resources of the whole society, drain of government fund, and social inequality. The amount and scale of misuse can be considerable since government controls nationally wide resources. Therefore, taking account of the significant cost, shortening the term of office of those in power is an indispensable step to control their power.

TS3
One may argue that political leaders also need to build their experience and reputation. Indeed, to serve in the government, one needs political experience in order to succeed. However, in the political field, one’s career is more flexible and dynamic, and job usually is short-term in nature. Political professions can serve as different positions in the field to culminate their experience and gain their reputations. In a word, they can better build their experience by exploring different positions in the political field, rather than serving a long-term position.

In conclusion, when considering the ideal term of office of those in power, we need to study the situations in different fields. In business or educational field, those in power should serve in long-term due to risk consideration. And stockholders or an independent educational committee can supervise their use of power. However, in the political field, it is necessary to restrict the term of service of powerful individuals and control their power.

分析coherence：
Consider the leadership in business world first. With the separation of ownership and management in modern corporations, it is important for the stockholders to trust the managers of the businesses. But to earn the trust of the stockholders often takes a relatively long period of time. The managers will need to demonstrate their competence as leaders through years of services and accumulate more experience while working with the staff to develop the best strategic plans for the long-term development of a company. Once the manager reaches the top management, s/he will become a valuable asset that the company cannot afford to lose. If s/he has to leave the position in five years, the company will have to start over the process of cultivating a leader all over again. Therefore, to save money for the investors of the company, this rule should not apply.

作者: RazorLX 时间: 2017-8-22 11:36:04

Coherence Analysis
issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

In a democratic society, government officials are often held responsible for their decisions related to their office duty. If they failed to perform their duties and satisfy their constituencies, they may lose the next election. Therefore, some people believe that government officials should make their decisions according to the will of the people instead of making their own judgements over different issues. In my opinion, government officials should always consult the public opinions when formulating important policies. Nevertheless, it is not reasonable to carry people’s will unquestioningly because over important issues people are often divided and poorly informed. Therefore, government officials should do their jobs by taking into account various factors and let the people decide if they did a satisfactory job overall in the next election.

作者: gre满分周 时间: 2017-8-22 11:52:08

To begin with, I strongly believe that government officials should consult the public frequently and systematically before introducing important policies. For one thing, the government officials should always take into account the people’s opinions when developing relevant policies in order to better meet the needs of the people.  For example, before the Hong Kong government decides to tighten the ban on smoking in public space, it has run a public consultation for over 3 months to collect people’s opinions on this issue.  A better understanding of what people think about the issue can inform the policy-making process.  In addition, hearing people’s voices on the proposed policy will further legitimize the policy and make it easy for the government to later enforce the policy.  The ban of smoking, for example, would be much easier if the society has reached a consensus about the issue.  

123)The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

开头段
After undergoing a marathon journey from primary school to entering the society, we are always be taught to cooperate and compete with others.Meanwhile, there is a dilemma that between cooperation and competition which is more important when the youth is a potential leader. While at first glance it may seem appealing to emphasize building the youngster’s competition ability, I remain doubtful of such a proposal. If we hastily carry out the advice, it would probably jeopardize the stabilization of stripling’s lead.

TS1
Advocates of this claim will reject my position. They argue that competition enable young people reach their peak of career for contending with others will definitely incur the youth’s victory centre. However, a convinced leader should collaborate people rather than contend with his colleagues.

TS2
Opposition to my argument also comes from through compete with others, the stripling will improve his capabilities in their work for only exceed most of peers can he obtain success in his enterprise. Nevertheless, competing means that nearly all of the time he to fight alone but collaborating will help the youth gain some new technique in a short time.

TS3
Although I maintain that work together with other person is especially significant for a future leader for serving the government which capability is not the most vital key, some people may dispute my position.

Eg. Jared Kushner not so good at study how to cooperate

作者: gre满分周 时间: 2017-8-22 11:54:47

To begin with, I strongly believe that government officials should consult the public frequently and systematically before introducing important policies.  For one thing, the government officials should always take into account the people’s opinions when developing relevant policies in order to better meet the needs of the people.  For example, before the Hong Kong government decides to tighten the ban on smoking in public space, it has run a public consultation for over 3 months to collect people’s opinions on this issue.  A better understanding of what people think about the issue can inform the policy-making process.  In addition, hearing people’s voices on the proposed policy will further legitimize the policy and make it easy for the government to later enforce the policy.  The ban of smoking, for example, would be much easier if the society has reached a consensus about the issue.  

123)The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

开头段
After undergoing a marathon journey from primary school to entering the society, we are always be taught to cooperate and compete with others.Meanwhile, there is a dilemma that between cooperation and competition which is more important when the youth is a potential leader. While at first glance it may seem appealing to emphasize building the youngster’s competition ability, I remain doubtful of such a proposal. If we hastily carry out the advice, it would probably jeopardize the stabilization of stripling’s lead.

TS1
Advocates of this claim will reject my position. They argue that competition enable young people reach their peak of career for contending with others will definitely incur the youth’s victory centre. However, a convinced leader should collaborate people rather than contend with his colleagues.

TS2
Opposition to my argument also comes from through compete with others, the stripling will improve his capabilities in their work for only exceed most of peers can he obtain success in his enterprise. Nevertheless, competing means that nearly all of the time he to fight alone but collaborating will help the youth gain some new technique in a short time.

TS3
Although I maintain that work together with other person is especially significant for a future leader for serving the government which capability is not the most vital key, some people may dispute my position.

Eg. Jared Kushner not so good at study how to cooperate

作者: Ibelieving 时间: 2017-8-22 12:51:27

本帖最后由 Ibelieving 于 2017-8-22 12:53 编辑

ISSUE 111

In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.（8,111,149）

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

提纲：

Intro: Whether or not should those in power in any vocations quit from their position after several years largely depends on what kind of profession is. I strongly agree to the advice that government official step down after being in power for a period of time to prevent power abuse, while this policy should not be applied on business and education, as it demands a long time for a leading figure to accumulate their experience in the specific field and earn trust and reputation from other persons,especially key people.

中间段1：

Firstly, consider the situation in business world. with the separation of ownership and management in modern corporations, it’s important for the stockholders to trust the managers of the companies. But to earn the trust from stockholder calls for struggling hard to demonstrate their competence as a leader. It will take managers a long time develop the best strategic plan for long-term development of the company, during which they gradually become experienced and skillful. Such a manager is a definitely great treasure that a company cannot afford to lose. If s/he leave the position after just five years, the company will have to start over the process cultivating a leader all over again.\

[attach]644580[/attach]

作者: youzi42 时间: 2017-8-22 14:48:57

issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种按照题目给出的profession细化职业

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
The statement that those in power in any profession, such as the important person in business, politics, education, government, should step down after five years. To some extent, this statement indeed make sense in some fields--business ,education and gorvernment for example-- for by this way, the newcomer who take place of processer, can make the specific field work more well, by infusing more strenghth and reforming. On the contrary, there are some occupacions that should not require too much change, such as the politics, a stable band of menbers would benefits this better. Thus, to judge the statement, we should comprehensive take the applicable professions , such as the master of the school, company or gorvernment, and the less viable occupations, such as the diplomat, or the ambassador.

主题句1
The administrators of education or gorverment are necessary to be changed after five years.For the reason that, the gorverning tasks, once effective methods applied, the administartors can work fairly easy. However, it not a easy task to come up some innovative and viable ideas especially when one is gradually accostomed to the formal ways in dealing issues.
具体例子或细节
very few candicats who used to be the major chairman seldom lucky enough to sustain his term
原因
they are not sufficent to make enough reform to help the government more powerful and less vulnerable

主题句2
A bussinessman is recommend to retire after his intatement five years ago , since the intense workload may harm his health and the ability to make wise judgement if continuing his work.
具体例子或细节
increaing reports on the young manager of stock
原因
they are under severe stress every day , very few can endure the tensifying work load . Thus, a change every five years whould do good to both the development of stock market and the efficiency of the brokedealer

主题句3
Given the benefits of the five year's step-down, however , there are some occupations which require stableness, such as the diplomat, or the ambassador.
具体例子或细节
diplomat,ambassador.
原因
work abroad,thus need stableness ;more familier with how to solving problems ; the longer they work , the more skilled they would be

关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
现在写开头没有以前那么难了。

分析文章：
Leadership is vital for the success of any enterprises, whether it is in the field of business, education or public administration. It is argued that, in order to prevent power abuse and revitalize the organizations,those in the leadership positions should quit their jobs after a certain number of years. I think this proposal will not benefit businesses and educational institutions as leaders in these fields need many years to build their reputation and earn trust from the stakeholders. Nevertheless, it is important for government officials to serve for a limited number of years only.

Consider the leadership in business world first. With the separation of ownership and management in modern corporations, it is important for the stockholders to trust the managers of the businesses. But to earn the trust of the stockholders often takes a relatively long period of time. The managers will need to demonstrate their competence as leaders through years of services and accumulate more experience while working with the staff to develop the best strategic plans for the long-term development of a company. Once the manager reaches the top management, s/he will become a valuable asset that the company cannot afford to lose. If s/he has to leave the position in five years, the company will have to start over the process of cultivating a leader all over again. Therefore, to save money for the investors of the company, this rule should not apply.

With the increasing corporatization of higher education, the same logic also applied to the leadership of universities. As a president of a university, one has to spend years developing intimate knowledge about the industry of higher education and building his/her network with the key people in the circle. S/he will need to promote the university aggressively at a global scale and raise money for different projects and programs that can help the university to stay competitive. This is a very challenging job and if a university is lucky enough to find someone who can do the job well, it makes little sense to let him/her go in 5 years. This is why the leaders of universities often hold their positions for years.

Nevertheless, the proposed rule should apply to government officials who do need to leave their jobs after certain years. One may argue that just like corporate CEOs and university presidents, it also takes years for a government official to learn to do his/her job well and build his/her reputation. This is true to some extent. But it is important to bear in mind that “government, even in its best form, is a necessary evil” as it takes away certain amount of freedom from the citizens in order to preserve peace and order. As a result, the power of the government officials have to be limited through the institutional arrangement that any officials, no matter how competent or reputable they are, have to step down after a certain number of years. The risk of having a dictator justifies the cost of reducing the tenure of a capable leader.

In conclusion, I believe that the proposed rule should not be applied to the fields of business and higher education. But for the government leaders, they should definitely leave their positions after a certain number of years.

作者: 丽丽酱香饼 时间: 2017-8-22 14:51:57

长长的冬瓜糖发表于 2017-8-21 21:13
同学请问你是看的什么素材呢？感觉现在列提纲没思路然后有了一个思路想不到具体可以支撑的例子~谢谢！~

厚谢抬爱~
我积累的也不多，常常无话可说，所以写这个issue的时候我就查了一些相关的资料，读了几篇范文~
百度了美国的政治制度啊，公认的最好的总统呀~感觉长了一些知识(*^▽^*)
读了老师的范文，也对比着阅读了《GRE作文大讲堂》，感觉这书还行，里面有一些素材可以积累一下，思路跟老师不一样，可以互相参考~
才疏学浅姑妄言之

作者: liwenhao19 时间: 2017-8-22 14:57:44

50) Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
1357
Should government officials take actions based on their own judgment or just act according to people’s will? In my opinions, government officials should use their own judgment to guide their decision-making, for the general public can be divided on important issues. And even if in cases that they have almost uniform opinions about the issue, their opinions can be biased because they are ill informed about the issues, or because they are short-sighted. So instead of just carrying out the people’s will blindly, I suggest that officials should base their decisions on their own judgment.

First off, the general public is divided about important issues. This is especially true when it comes to economic policies like the design of tax system. Some people especially the poor people would prefer a progressive tax system, since they have fewer tax duties under a progressive tax system and government could use this tax income to help them; While those wealthy people do not like the idea of a progressive tax system, since they share the most tax burden under such system. In cases like these, there is just no people’s will to carry out, since people themselves do not agree with each other on the issue, so the government officials can only rely on their own judgment.

In addition, the general public is usually ill informed about important issues than government officials. This is especially true when it comes to science and technology. Due to their ignorance, people are terrified by the potential disaster outcomes once the station used to create nuclear energy explode. However, modern science teaches us that such events are almost impossible to happen if those stations are built and operated properly. Moreover, nuclear energy is actually more clear and cost-effective that traditional way of producing energy, and is believed to have great potentials to save the human being from the destiny of pollution and energy deficiency. It would be a grave mistake if government officials were swayed by those ill- informed voter and force to give up this more advanced way of producing energy.

Finally, the general public can be short-sighted on important social issues. The most vivid case of this is the environmental problems in developing countries. In those countries, in order to earn more money, people cut down forests and build factories that pollute the neighborhood they live. However, although they see the immediate benefit of high income, they are short-sighted to care about the long-term consequences of a polluted environment, which may be a price too high to pay for them. In such cases, the governments cannot rely on the will of people, since they are shorted sighted and biased by the immediate economic benefit, instead the officials should rely on their own judgment, the resist the pressures from the people who complains about unemployment to protect the environment, otherwise the environment will be polluted and everyone will suffer.

In sum, people’s will is not a sound resort for government officials when it comes to policy-making, since the general public is often divided on important issues, and in additions, they may not be able to make good choices as they are ill informed and short sighted. As a result， it makes more sense for those officials to rely on their own judgment when making important decisions.
1450

作者: Margueritexy 时间: 2017-8-22 15:17:53

issue 104/107
To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
我选择用第二种方式构建框架，从不同角度说明。

I totally agree that a public official leader who wants to be effective needs to maintain the highest ethical and moral standards. People having high moral and ethical standards tend to be more successful and disciplinary because when considering about something, there always are doctrines of humanity and disciplines of working knock them to plan and arrange anything in order and in a justified way. Moreover, sticking to high ethical and moral standards help them in their private life.
TS1：It’s the key that maintaining the highest ethical and moral standards to prevent the public official from corruption, reducing much unnecessary trouble.
e.g. Chief Xi in China takes many measures to beat the corruption and is strict with officials, especially those officials who have strong power. And after his striking on corruption and power using, the whole system of China improves in implements of policy and development of economy.
TS2: Those leader officials with high standards for themselves can set a good example for their subordinates.
e.g. A group is like a tree, the leader is trunk and the workers are branches. Only the leader has a good disciplines to correct and regulate their own leadership, the core strength can be strong and gather the group towards a clear direction to make achievements. Subordinates can learn from their leader as an example so that they can be of unity.
TS3: People always follow the high criterions to work are likely to treat their life strictly and principled.
e.g My mentor is a woman who makes an importance both on efficiency and quality in researches and study. After I know more about her life, I recognize that she is a principle person in everything and she put anything whatever is about work or life in order, which, helps her do anything effectively.

范文连贯性分析
Without being tested by demands for leadership, people often assume leadership positions by demonstrating strong communication skills that are important for dealing with situations in which they have to lead others to solve problems. In the field of academic researches, for example, senior researchers have to communicate their research findings and the vision about how the discipline would advance clearly and persuasively to the fellow researchers in order to take up leadership positions such as editors of top journals and chairpersons of the academic societies. They also need to demonstrate their willingness to listen to other members of the research community and understand their ideas and concerns about the field. Such strong communication skills would enable them to become leaders in the field and help others to meet the challenges.

点评46楼

1）提纲的框架是否合理？
合理
2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
第二个点下边的例子我没有看太懂，我能大概猜到你的意思。但是我觉得可能不是很好地支持论点。
3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
没有

作者: xiulin2015 时间: 2017-8-22 16:03:32

Angelyyy 发表于 2017-8-20 23:01
03/03/2014
The Embargo of Cuba: Time to Go- Becker
The US embargo of Cuba began in 1960, a year af ...

TS: How to maintain a relatively high effect for leaders is a debatable ( and challenging) issue. Especially for the political leaders, they should consider about how to ensure the overall stability of the society. As far as I am concerned,on the cases related close to the happiness and daily lives of people, effective leaders should are persuaded to listen the advice from the public.When it comes to the executives ( execution) of the law,leaders must be solid and impassive and persist to their principles.
( comments: 我觉得该题目的难点是对 principles and objectives的解释，什么是有效领导者在具体工作中应该坚持的原则和追寻的目标。你用了happinesee and daily lives并且在下文做了诠释，公共设施如何考虑残障人士出行青少年犯罪将不同经济阶层家庭一视同仁弱势群体的资源保障和创造教育机会；都点题并呼应了你的主题观点，我觉得将happiness改为wellbeing可能更有概括性；另外好的领导者也是创造和引导一个社会正确价值观的重要人物，他所追寻的principles and objectives可以由此定义。) （通过改你的文章，好好思考了一下如何写issue, 收获很大，我们继续结伴努力）
ts1: For the first part,let me explain why I think it is dispensable ( dispensable means not essential or necessary; it should be “ why I think it is essentially important )  for the leaders to make compromises to their people. As for the work really close to the people’s daily lives,leaders should listen to them and make promotions.( As for the leaders’ work keeping abreast with people’s daily life, listening to public opinions and making adjustments are very significant.)
-For example,public equipment is always being revised and the designers tried their best to provide the convenience for the public.( Effective leaders should be open to public utilities’ adaptation to the public convenice.) I remember once at the subway in Beijin,I saw the introduction of the newest lower-path designed especially for the disabled people,which is constructed after a series of suggestions of the citizens,received compliments mostly. ( For instance, Beijing’s subway is a good example. The installation of the most advanced lower-path decker for the disabled is actually an adoption of public opinions)  However,the design before which are condemned for the most time,built only by the isolated purpose.( However , the facilities used to separate the handicapped people but not enable them to move easily as others. It has been criticized by public for a long time and finally leaders adopt the opinion and adjust the utilizes to accommodate the needs and win the compliments from the residents.) Thus,the leaders are persuaded to listen the suggestions from the people when it comes to the decisions related very close to their daily lives. ( As such, effective leaders must listen to the public opinion with regard to their daily life to strengthen the governance and leadership)

ts2 On the other hand,people would challenge if all the things should be discussed with the public,how to ensure the efficiency as well as the stableness of society?（ on the other hand, people..challenge how to ensure the efficiency as well as the stableness of society if it is not possible for the leaders to discuss everything with the public. (There no doubt that when it comes to the laws,leader should be as impartial as possible and stick to the principles. ( There is no doubt the effective leaders should be as impartial as possible and stick to the principles when making the policies and implementing the lasws in practice.)
-Take the case of education of example（Take the case of juvenile delinquence as an example） ,if both children at the same age,but one comes from a decent family with power and pecuniary advantages,the other comes from an totally impoverished family( There are two children at the same age but coming from one decent family with… and one from an impoverished family respectively) .They involved in an crime case and both were arrested,however,as for the venality,the one from the better family received less punishment.If the equality of law reflected like this,I don’t think there is any need to have it.As a result,the leader should persist to their principles and be solid impartial to the executives of the law.
( 这个分析有失焦点，如何体现public opinion，两个家庭是小众个别并非集体意识，也许在这个事情上，公众舆论就是严惩失害者的富贵子弟，议论的焦点就不清晰了；但如果再改动下栗子，就是两个家庭中，家庭优渥的并非是施害者，而是被家庭贫穷的孩子逼迫去做的且自身已受到伤害，即便公众的呼声是对富贵与贫穷阶级的孩子不应当有区分，作为公正的领导者则应深入事件本身，为富贵的孩子酌情处分并安排心理治疗，而不会被社会仇富心态所影响。
ts3 Last but not least,I’d like to qualify my explanation.Even though stick to the principle of law is of advantage of the most time,there are exceptional cases.For example,the resource of people is not always equal,actually,is not equal for most time.To be specific,the chances for people vary a lot.Unfortunately,when the inequality caused a poor boy to defend himself by attacking the one who bullied him.This situation,for the sake of the ethos,we need to give a chance to him,instead of escaping the penalty,but less.
Principle不一定僅限於Law，可以是價值觀可以是信條。比如最近的blockbuster战狼，当华工要撤离非洲时，有限的救援力量只能支持中国公民时，好的政治领袖就会看到中国公民不是单个个体，而是与非洲当地人结婚生子，如果撤离，那么所有的华工及非洲家属同胞都要撤离，这实际上是做出有违常理或公众舆论的判断，但坚持了作为一个领袖的领导原则，反对种族歧视的价值选择。虽然是一步电影，但是被公众大为推崇，領導力的體現。。。。（可以写成英文但怕我說的不清楚）

作者: taylor1995 时间: 2017-8-22 23:05:14

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Intro
In democratic society, the government is responsible for the public. The government makes decisions through their own judgments instead of the will of people. Nevertheless, the government and people are restricting each other. The decisions only depend on the government are lopsided, which won’t show the interests of the people. Therefore, the most effective way of government to make decisions of development is, considering various factors, combining their own judgment and some common opinion from the public.

Middle
There is no denying that politicians and other government experts are more informed and thus have better judgment and perspective than do the general public. For example, in late 1920s, the economic crisis exploded in America which dragged the financial situation and deprived many American’s right to enjoy sufficient life and many people lost their jobs. The whole country was in a state of chaos. After four years, the new president of America Franklin took a series of policies for reform, recovery and relief. His prescription began with rectifying finance. Then, the reform was extended to agriculture field and industry. Roosevelt’s “New Deal” ensured the stable development of the economy. It’ s obvious to show that the government’ reformation help people get rid of predicament.

However, the government is subject to the people. Only based on the government, the decisions-making will be out of balance, which is harmful to political democracy and socialism. Then the country will become despotic. An salient example is the colonial period of China. In 1900s, the Qing government ignored people’s voice, eventually leading to pay indemnities and cede territory. On the countrary, western countries follow the principles of equality. In 1900s, after the two industrial revolutions, they got great development in economy, industry and culture. Thus, listen the public’s will is essential to develop our society.

On the other hand, it is not enough to only focus on the public. The development of society is determined by many factors, not just the government and the people.

作者: 长长的冬瓜糖 时间: 2017-8-23 09:05:54

丽丽酱香饼发表于 2017-8-22 14:51
厚谢抬爱~
我积累的也不多，常常无话可说，所以写这个issue的时候我就查了一些相关的资料，读了几篇范 ...

哦哦，谢谢！~

作者: ning97 时间: 2017-8-23 23:54:22

本帖最后由 ning97 于 2017-8-23 23:58 编辑

issue 62 leaders are created by demands

Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Intro:
When it comes to the leadership, some people hold the view that leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them since there is a proverb, saying "A hero is known in the times of misfortune." As far as I am concerned, no one is born to be leaders. They come from the demands from themselves, others, and the society situation.
TS1:
From the childship, children's characters gradually get in many disparate ways. Some are extrovert and some are introversive. Sooner or later, some children are more sociable, appealing and organizing than the others. These personalities may came from their parents influences, or the way they were raised, so-called familly demands. As the leadership conscious become apparent, they will persist in setting demands for themselves, pursue more opportunity to be the pacemakers learning from the practice and eventually grow up to responsible leaders.
TS2:
As they set demands for themselves, others may pay more attention and expections for them, too. Back in school, when group discussing or anytime a leader is needed, students tend to seek from the experienced leaders rather than the neophytes. So the one used to be the leaders are more likely going to be the leaders with the demands of the other people in the group. It is the same way with the president.
TS3:
Based on their experienced leadership from the adolescent to the work, the leaders will also faced more demands from the situations. It is these demands that make them better leaders.

关于cohesion，之前只是想到过连词、过渡句，没有从替代词的使用这些方向去考虑。
Maybe best to begin with Robbins himself. （衔接上文的为什么）An English PhD who mostly eschews traditional academic scholarship, he’s the author of two collections of poems, （PhD身份同位语介绍Robbin 同时联系到上文的两首诗）“Alien vs. Predator” and “The Second Sex.” You may have noticed that both titles （诗的名字）are borrowed. The original “Alien vs. Predator” （再次提到诗的名字）was a movie, the first installment in what became a very bad and successful franchise, though the word “original” is a bit fraught（上文的orginal） here since the film is itself a mash-up of two older sci-fi franchises that each started strong then devolved into badness. Before “The Second Sex” was Robbins’ book of cantankerous, hilarious and densely allusive poems (with titles cadged from Warren Zevon and the Grateful Dead), it was a foundational piece of feminist criticism published by Simone de Beauvoir in 1949. 替换词比较少，但是因为只说了一件事，彼此衔接性还是挺好的

作者: sofresh666888 时间: 2017-8-24 00:26:16

50)Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Intro
Government is the authority which works for its own citizens to formulate policies, regulations, law and other rules to ensure and guide people’s living. It makes decisions for its citizen and the country. Since citizen are made of different type of people, from farmer and teachers to lawyers and white collars from different education, background, living hood and society. It is very difficult for individuals who hold different perspective of views reach to an agreement. Therefore, in some ways of policies making government might not need to get all the citizen’s votes.

Ts1
Government should in charge of some main decisions of the long term development for the country, under the guidance of proper analyzing and predicting by related fields scholars and exerts.
Such as, infrastructure building, 5/10/15 years plan, oil field.

Ts2
By complete the education system, instead of listening to people’s willing for education reform who are from different racists, major and background, government should more focus on overall balanced education system development. All nationalities’ opinions are very much appreciated, thus still need to summary a complete education policy which will be suitable for every one.

Ts3
Economic decision needs to make with the finance minister and related supervisory system of the country. Most of the citizen’s knowledge of economy might be very general. However, what is needed for the country’s decisions are from both macro economy and micro economy’s perspective, which non-professional finance citizen will not be aware of.

分析段：
范文16<50, 86, 114, 115, 139>,

Another reason why the government officials should not make decisions solely based on people’s will is that the members of the public are often notoriously ill-informed on some important issues, especially when it comes to science and technology. For example, despite the advance of genetic engineering in the past decades, the public has harbored a general fear of genetically modified food. If policies are to be made according to people’s opinions, no GM food would be allowed in the market in order to please the people who are ignorant of the science behind GM food. But GM food is arguably one of the most important inventions in late 20th century, which has to the potential to address many problems such as environemental pollution, food crisis in the developing world and energy crisis. Prohibiting GM food would be a grave mistake of any governments despite the public skepticism and misgivings.

作者: LynnHan 时间: 2017-8-24 17:24:17

全文Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

Having the aspiration to cultivate talents with comprehensive knowledge and competence,some universities implement rules that every students are required to take so-called optional courses.It is undeniable that a wide scope of knowledge and skills contribute to individuals’ academic performances in their own field of research or future possibilities.Consequently,I agree with this claim to some extent,but what matter most is whether the rules applied properly and timely in specific scenarios.

I have to admit,on the one hand,that wide range of courses means more than just abundant knowledge that students can acquire from universities’ teachers and experts.For instance,like I’m studying computer science,taking classes taught by an professor from art department might provides me a chance to view technology in quiet a dissimilar way.Technology means not just 0 or 1 in digital world,by using natural programing language,such as Python and Processing,human beings are able to create intricate pictures with the law of mathematical formula.

However,on the other hand,taking extra courses towards other fields is favorable to some of universities students,but not all.wide range of classes show merits with regard to students studying interdiscipline.By taking diversity courses and absorbing abundant knowledge from relative fields,students tend to view things from several perspectives rather than a limited one.In addition,more opportunities are provided for their future careers if they strive to experience as much as possible to pick a field in which they are passionate.But when issues come to students who major in science related discipline or math deem to be extremely devoted to their own fields of study and research,it would be aimless and futility for them to pick up various kinds of courses,such as art history,music instruments or P.E.Though these subjects might keep them staying healthy both mentally and physically,obligatory courses can distract them for consuming their time and energy to prepare for exams.

What is more,sparing excessive time for courses might not be apropos due to the face that there are alternative options which are more beneficial to students in their campus life.For supporting examples,let us turn to work experiences.Xiaolong Zhang,the founder of the most renowned instant message product: wechat.He took all of his courses within 3 years,while others spent most of their time cramming for exams.Rather,He established a patent of chatting products in his last year of university and founded a start up business.By utilizing the knowledge that he acquire in courses and applying what he had learnt from his working experiences,he managed to turn his concept into a real product that change the way people interact in virtual internet works.Therefore,it is strongly recommended that university students should not merely focusing on their books,or rely heavily on courses taught by experts or professors.Knowledge is the bedrock of career,but it is most valuable once we apply hem into real works ,verifying them and utilizing in order to have a full understanding.

To sum up, taking a variety courses in campus contribute to one’s triumph research or study for many reasons,it is the way how to implement the proposal that should be considered elaborately.Moreover,to make the most advantage of taking courses,students should attach more important to the utilization of knowledge we obtain,rather than focusing just on knowledge itself.

作者: Herio_HKeKe 时间: 2017-8-29 23:39:39

本帖最后由 Herio_HKeKe 于 2017-9-1 03:45 编辑

e.g.
However, this reliance on technology does not necessarily preclude the creativity that marks the human species. The prior examples reveal that technology allows for convenience. The car, computer, and phone all release additional time for people to live more efficiently. This efficiency does not preclude the need for humans to think for themselves. In fact, technology frees people to not only tackle new problems, but may itself create new issues that did not exist without technology. For example, proliferation of automobiles has introduced a need for fuel conservation on a global scales. With increasing energy demand from emerging markets, global warming become a concern inconceivable to the horse-and-buggy generation. Likewise dependence on has created nation-states that are not dependent on taxation, allowing ruling parties to oppress minority groups such as women. Solutions to these complex problems require the unfettered imaginations of maverick scientists and politicians.

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

主要是通过对题目的前提条件进行限定来进行说明
intro:
Someone argues that government's own discretion contains much more professionality and well-directed which should be trusted. But it's hard to say government officials have adequate capability of estimating all circumstances when it comes to populace's gains and losses, so the professionality does not have the necessarity with human's well being. On the contrast, people themselves cannot show more solicitude for their own interests, which means in some specific situations governments need to be obedient to people's will so that they can pursue policies more smoothly, such as labour law or democratic election descipline. So in my opinion, the recommendation should be discussed in different situations.

TS1:
Under the diplomatic condition, some negotiations between countries, there won't be voices of citizens.
- As we all know, diplomatic issues usually involve vital national contracts and communications of economy, politics and culture, way out of personal range of normal cognition.
- When it up to national level, people's will worth few in governments' diplomatic decisions as a country epitomizes whole residents.

TS2:
To enact laws and constitution, aspirations of people need to be adopted partly, as they play the role of audience, by government.
- frame and skeleton of laws rely on people's will
officials formulate them in details
- for example, labour law should show adequate respect to blue-collars demand and take into account realities of employees' markets.
- medical insurance need comprehensive consideration about national economic condition and citizens' financial condition.

TS3:
However, a situation with full respect for populace's will do exist since democracy dominates in many countries.
- presidential election in America
- The house of commons is an elected body

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