issue同主题写作第五类 8月20-21日

战G进行时UID: 3727585

Leadership
issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
In any field, there are a few people standing on the peak and controlling the power. Some socialists claim that those powerful people should be replaced every five years. In my opinion, in business and politics, the people in power should be kept in their position if they do not make great mistakes, while the chairman in education should step down after five years.  
主题句1 In business, it is better for the corporation not to replace those in power every five years.
具体例子或细节
Example 1: managers are intangible assets for a corporation. It takes years to cultivate a good manager.

主题句2 Similarly, powerful people in government should not step down after five years.
具体例子或细节
Example 1: keep the sustainability of policies.

主题句3 It is helpful for the promotion of education quality to replace the president of a school especially a university or a college.   
具体例子或细节
Example 1: infuse new blood to the education


中间段写作分析
“In literary field, the advancement of literary works is inseparable from precedent achievements. For instance, Nietzsche, the well-known philosopher and critic, proposes his famous theory of tragedy based on comprehensive analysis of Greek culture, especially its tragedies. He uses Dionysus and Apollo in Greek myths to name his philosophical concepts, the former meaning catharsis and the latter symbolizing temperance. It is also true when it comes to literary works that past achievements are necessary to promote the development in certain field. John Bunyan is famous for his allegory The Pilgrims Progress, in which the vanity fair is an important scene where everything can be transacted. Thackeray borrows the name of “Vanity Fair” from Bunyan’s work as the title of his work, which perfectly suits the theme of his novel. Therefore, the past achievements in literary works is beneficial to the flourishment of literature.”
当时自己写的这一段以举例为主，逻辑性相对没有那么强。

Model Paragraph Analysis



点评9楼

1）提纲的框架是否合理？
框架很清楚，很合理。

2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
很合适，很有说服力

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
基本不存在问题，框架结构比较成熟

ChiuChiKwanUID: 3828648

62.Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Frame: leaders are created by demands of era, leader’s ability and leaders’ own personality.

TS:  As an old saying goes, a hero is nothing but a product of his time. However, is a leader determined by the demands that are placed on her or him completely? As far as I am concerned, the appearance of leaders not only depends on the demands that are places on them,  which is called external condition, but also their ability and personalities, which means their personal charm or internal condition.

TS1: Demands of environment on leaders are the driving force of their existence.
Sun Yat-sen, who fought against the Qing dynasty, is a great leader. In his era, most of nations were going to develop capitalism while China still sticked to feudal system, which is out of date. As we know, those who submit will prosper, those who resist shall perish. Thus, he led people to fight for new China and ousted the monarch.



TS2: On top of external factor, the internal factors are essential as well. One factor is ability. A society without a talented leader is acephalous.
As we know, a president is selected by people. But why people choose him? Because they trust the leader have ability to lead them to build a better nation and a better society.  



TS3: Another in need is personality. A leader not only have the ability to lead people to complete big tasks, but also have personality to  unite people and make the team or community more coherent.

In the period of Zhenguan, the reign of Tang dynasty, emperor Tangtaizong not only have ability to rule the nation, but also have great personality. He was willing to listen to others, especially loyal and wise secretries, such as WeiZheng, Zhangsun Wuji and so on.

连贯性分析TS1:
       Demands of environment on leaders are the driving force of their existence. With the demands and pressure from environment, someone need to stand out to lead people to finish the task. Otherwise, the only consequence is doom.Take Sun Yat-sen as an illustration, chances are that if he lived in a peaceful era, he would be an excellent doctor but not a great leader. It is the era and people that need him, call him and drive him a great leader. As we know, those who submit will prosper, those who resist shall perish.  Only revolution and reform took place could China develop. Thus he followed the trend of times and led people to fought against the Qing dynasty, which ended the period of feudal system in China. Thus, it is the demands of environment produce heroes.



文章分析
         Will UN sanctions have any real effect on N.Korea?（节选）
   
The 15-member UN Security Council unanimously approved new sanctions against North Korea on August 5, the seventh set of UN sanctions imposed on the country since it conducted its first nuclear test in 2006. The latest sanction measures include banning exports of coal, iron, lead and seafood products, which are reported to represent one-third of the country's total exports.

The resolution is "the single largest economic package ever" imposed on North Korea, and also "the most stringent set of sanctions on any country in a generation," according to US Ambassador to the UN Nikki Haley. According to the US, North Korea's nuclear program requires a huge amount of resources, so in the past the country failed to use its export revenues to improve people's lives. In this sense, the tough sanctions on North Korea will restrain it from obtaining resources, creating economic pressure to force it to give up the nuclear program.

Nevertheless, it remains unknown what the actual impact of the new sanctions will be and whether they can achieve the desired results. Moreover, North Korea's economic development over the past few years indicates that its economy seems to have changed, showing relatively strong economic resilience and a certain degree of "endogenous" momentum.




点评5楼同学的提纲
      Frame 不错啊！但是仔细想了之后，觉得是不是人民的要求和环境的要求会有重复之处呢？从连贯性的角度来说，运用了承上启下（external 和 internal）也用了第三种方法，不断地用不同的词来解释同一个意思，整体还是很棒的！值得学习！

RACHanonymUID: 3536975

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Keyword: unquestioningly
I chose the second method to consider the issue in different contexts.
TS:
A government official who takes people’s will into action without doubt is not a wise one. The first thing that government officials ought to conduct is to learn what their people truly want. After that, officials can start to analyze how the status quo would be improved regarding people’s will. Knowing what to change and how to act, officials evaluate the worth of enacting new policies depending on their judgments, which is the decisive point of serving citizens well.

ts 1:
It is fundamental for government officials to establish a pool of problems bothering people to be solved.
e.g. : I want to use a principal serving students as an example. The principal of a secondary school has a mailbox for collecting students’ voices such as the cutting lunch costs, raising funds for a club, and reporting misbehaviors of a teacher. To serve students better, he first realizes what they need.

ts 2:
Considering problems above the table, government officials should think about ways of dealing with the issues.
e.g. : President Trump, after knowing that the rate of unemployment is rising up, drafted strategies to create massive job openings by moving manufacture factory back to the states.

ts 3:
These two steps are not enough for government officials. The most crucial step is making decisions whether to change or not hinging on pros and cons of enacting policies. Officials with critical thinking can have reasonable evaluations.
e.g. : If government officials are unquestioningly obedient to people, they would be regarded as good officials in people’s eye but not wise. A government has its annual budget and plan. If officials always stick to carry out people’s will, they would do poorly in controlling budgets in human resources and financial costs, which ultimately harms the future of the government and people.

中间段分析：
<How to stop neo-Nazis from mobilizing on the street: lessons from Europe>
That said, it can be particularly difficult to distinguish between fascists and non-fascists, as there are growing ranks of online provocateurs who claim to flirt with fascist ideology in an ironic manner. But this ambiguity dissipates as neo-Nazi groups organize onto the street. It’s easy to spot a neo-Nazi, when they shout Nazi slogans, deny the Holocaust, and carry Nazi insignia—as they did in Charlottesville.

点评31楼：
1）提纲的框架是否合理？
合理，有分类的讨论。建议：第二点是不是可以更递进一些？

2）提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适 可以再多一些描述

3）开头段语言方面有哪些问题？
很直白 没有问题

Joker—XYZUID: 3508086

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第3种，分类讨论，具体来说：1.民众正确 2.民众不客观3.民众角度 经验有限

我的提纲如下

开头段全文：
The relationship between government officials and people they serve is a hot topic. It is argue that government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve. In my opinion,citizens' practical experience can helps to solve some problems, but sometimes they may be blind because their own interests or points,government officials still need to have their own judgments to find the best solution.


主题句1
Sometimes citizens have a better solution for practical problems in daily life.
example:Chinese government canceled roaming charges for cellphones because citizens' opposition.

主题句2
However,citizens naturally analyze problems from their own point of view,in contrast,government officials can consider the problems impartially.  

example: Some people blame doctors for failures of operations even though the doctors had tried their best and the diseases were out of control.

主题句3
In addition,citizens may only get solutions from individual views ,government officials can consider problems from society aspect.
example:Graduates are struggling to find a job,government promotes starting up business to release the employment pressure.



关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑

开头的主旨句是否太啰嗦，用词可能比较简单。

1.conjunction
2.Reference
3.lexical chain
4.Signalling noun
Consider the leadership in business world first. With the separation of ownership and management in modern corporations, it is important for the stockholders to trust the managers of the businesses. But to earn the trust of the stockholders often takes a relatively long period of time. The managers will need to demonstrate their competence as leaders through years of services and accumulate more experience while working with the staff to develop the best strategic plans for the long-term development of a company. Once the manager reaches the top management, s/he will become a valuable asset that the company cannot afford to lose. If s/he has to leave the position in five years, the company will have to start over the process of cultivating a leader all over again. Therefore, to save money for the investors of the company, this rule should not apply.


我来点评其他网友
楼层： 32

1）____网友提纲的框架是否合理？
合理。结构清晰。

2）____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适？
合适。第三个例子可以更具体一点。

3）____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题？

挺好的。

长长的冬瓜糖UID: 3817701

完整题目

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种  分不同情况考虑，在基础设施建设如建博物馆还是playground等问题上应该基于people's will，在指定法律国家发展方针上应该rely on official's judgement,但是official 也不能做的太过，否则会导致支持率下降

开头段全文：Few people can deny the significant role government officials would play in the development of a country and the well-being of the citizens living in it. Then, when these officials have to make major decisions, whether should they do it based on their own judgment or should they unquestioningly carry the will of their citizens? In my opinion, it should be determined on a side-by-side basis. That is, to make decision of the construction of infrastructures in a society, the officials should follow more to citizens' will, while concerning issuing laws, they should rely on their own judgement. However, even in this situation, government officials should not rely on their mind absolutely without hearing the voice from the common

主题句1
Firstly, when comes to the construction of infrastructure, government officials should listen more to citizens' will in order to meet people's need to the most extent.
具体例子或细节
imagine situation: the citizens in one city would prefer playground to do exercise while the government build an art museum only based on their own judement, which would not be favored by people.


主题句2
In other circumstances, such as issuing laws or making strategies for the development of society, government officials should rely more on their own judgement to make a justified one.
具体例子或细节
1. tax law; some people not want to pay tax; cannot carry out this will
2. imagine example: an agricultural society has to change to an industrial one; some people not want to; damage their interests; however, cannot follow their will

主题句3
However, this does not mean that those government officials can make their decisions without hearing people's voice, which might lead to a low government approval rating.
具体例子或细节
罗斯福连任4届都被刺杀了， 别提不听从民意~（这个例子下去查下怎么表达）

长长的冬瓜糖UID: 3817701

完整题目

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种  分不同情况考虑，在基础设施建设如建博物馆还是playground等问题上应该基于people's will，在指定法律国家发展方针上应该rely on official's judgement,但是official 也不能做的太过，否则会导致支持率下降

开头段全文：Few people can deny the significant role government officials would play in the development of a country and the well-being of the citizens living in it. Then, when these officials have to make major decisions, whether should they do it based on their own judgment or should they unquestioningly carry the will of their citizens? In my opinion, it should be determined on a side-by-side basis. That is, to make decision of the construction of infrastructures in a society, the officials should follow more to citizens' will, while concerning issuing laws, they should rely on their own judgement. However, even in this situation, government officials should not rely on their mind absolutely without hearing the voice from the common

主题句1
Firstly, when comes to the construction of infrastructure, government officials should listen more to citizens' will in order to meet people's need to the most extent.
具体例子或细节
imagine situation: the citizens in one city would prefer playground to do exercise while the government build an art museum only based on their own judement, which would not be favored by people.


主题句2
In other circumstances, such as issuing laws or making strategies for the development of society, government officials should rely more on their own judgement to make a justified one.
具体例子或细节
1. tax law; some people not want to pay tax; cannot carry out this will
2. imagine example: an agricultural society has to change to an industrial one; some people not want to; damage their interests; however, cannot follow their will

主题句3
However, this does not mean that those government officials can make their decisions without hearing people's voice, which might lead to a low government approval rating.
具体例子或细节
罗斯福连任4届都被刺杀了， 别提不听从民意~（这个例子下去查下怎么表达）


第一个主体段 （分析连贯性）
Firstly, when comes to the construction of infrastructure, government officials should listen more to citizens' will in order to meet their need to the most extent. It is no secret that the direct beneficiaries of the infrastructures in our society, such as museums, playgrounds and music halls, are residents living in the city. It is those people that know what they really want and what they really need. For example, if the majorities of the people in a city are health-conscious and would do regular exercises each night, what their real demand is a community playground where they can take a walk after a meal, or dance with their peers in leisure time, or run several cycles in order to keep fit. However, if the government officials in this city do not notice this demand and instead invest numerous financial budget into building an art museum for a purported benefit of enriching citizens' life, people would never favor nor really benefit from this construction, which would be a waste of money.

安歌UID: 3662922

128) Some people argue that successful leaders in government, industry, or other fields must be highly competitive. Other people claim that in order to be successful, a leader must be willing and able to cooperate with others.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

While craftsmanship requires traits such as diligence and determination, leadership, is an art that require the ability of cooperation. Leaders, whether in government, industry or in other fields like public institutions, should be able to unify team members by working along harmoniously with them and by means of which, creates an environment of cooperation among members of the team.
Leaders in government should be willing to cooperate with others. As head of the state, government leaders are responsible for attending to various state issues. In order to carry out certain policies successfully, s/he must work along with heads of departments including department of finance, public health, security, etc. In circumstances when head of governments cannot cooperate well with other officials or institutions, not only will the public watch an amusing fight between these public figures, but the policies or regulations cannot be put into operation as well, making the society take the loss.
Leaders in business must be willing and be able to cooperate with others. A good business leader is an expert at setting up connections. To run a successful business, leaders should be able to make use of various resources. This requires them to cooperate with others, including other companies or institutions. In addition, a good business leader should be able to make the best of his/her employees. Finding the most suitable person for certain position, s/he must cooperate with his/her staffs in order to make good performances. …
Leaders in other fields including public institutions must be able to cooperate. NGOs such as Grass and Roots need to cooperate with governments and industries in order to promote their green ideas and to improve the environment by encouraging broad participation. …
In conclusion, as for leaders, no matter in government, industry or other fields, those who are willing and be able to cooperate can be successful.
分析连贯性
Consider the leadership in business world first. With the separation of ownership and management in modern corporations, it is important for the stockholders to trust the managers of the businesses.  But to earn the trust of the stockholders often takes a relatively long period of time.  The managers will need to demonstrate their competence as leaders through years of services and accumulate more experience while working with the staff to develop the best strategic plans for the long-term development of a company.  Once the manager reaches the top management, s/he will become a valuable asset that the company cannot afford to lose.  If s/he has to leave the position in five years, the company will have to start over the process of cultivating a leader all over again.  Therefore, to save money for the investors of the company, this rule should not apply.  

keaixiaotangUID: 3248795

16.Some people believe that in order to be effective, political leaders must yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise. Others believe that the most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented

Before the political leaders make a decision, it’s wise for them to listen to the public at first and collect their opinions. Because the objection of the government is to serve the people. They need to analyze different groups’ profits and make a good balance between them. However, when making a decision, the political leaders should commit to a particular principle and objective instead of yielding to public opinion and abandoning principle just for the sake of compromise. Because by doing that, it’s not only more effective to deal with one thing, but also make the political leaders more authoritative. What’s more, if the political leaders do a good job using that way, it will make them more reliable and then improve their authority.

Democracy is very important in a country. If the political leaders do a good job in democracy, it will help them to implement the policy. Listening to public opinion before making a decision is necessary.
Eg. In order to improve the traffic jam, Beijing make a vehicle restriction rule which sets that a car with a particular license number can not be driven out in a particular area. Before implementing that rule, the political leaders listened to the public.

If political leaders yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise every time. Their authority will be diminished. It is not helpful for them to implement the policy. By doing that, maybe it is effective to deal with one thing. But the results will not necessarily good for the public. Because there are different groups who represent different profits which might be contradict with each other. Then the political leaders should yield to which group? Yielding to one group, and then changing to another? There will be a chaos.

Political leaders are people who have been chosen out of outstanding people. We should believe their ability to make a right decision. It will be more effective for them to collect the public’s opinion and then make a decision which committed to a principle and objectives. That’s what they are working for. If they actually do a good job, that will help improve the mutual-trust between them and the public。


王老师范文找cohesion

In democratic society, government officials are often held responsible for their decisions related to their office duty. If they failed to perform their duties and satisfy their constituencies, they may lose the next election. Therefore, some people believe that government officials should make their decisions according to the will of the people
instead of making their own judgments over different issues. In my opinion, government officials should always consult the public opinions when formulating important policies. Nevertheless, it is not reasonable to carry people’s will unquestioningly because over important issues people are often divided and poorly informed. Therefore, government officials should do their jobs by taking into account various factors and let the people decide if they did a satisfactory job overall in the next election。

困惑：1.找不到素材例子怎么办？2.老师您这次所讲的cohesion 是不是也是同义指代的一种？

A.E.extrovertUID: 3808015

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.


Should government officials rely on their own judgment or unquestioningly carry out people’s will ? From my points of view, the answer of the question should depend on what kinds of problem they are concerning about. For the problem referring to the whole national interest, the government should take the main responsibility to make the decision while in the terms of some livelihood issue, government officials’ judgments should fully rely on the will of people.Besides, the government and the public can also discuss and deal with problems together.

The government officials have their own idea when the issue refer to the whole national profits.The public sometimes can not be rational, irritate by media or some other institute with harmful idea to the society
E.g. Brexit vote, war decision

Also the government should give fully respective to people’s will when the problem closely related to livelihood of ordinary people as the officials may can not experience the life that people are going through.
E.g.The price of electricity, daily resources consumption.

However, as for some polity implements, the government and public can handle it together ensuring the right and suitable choose are decided.
E.g. president vote.environment protection.

Example:
Nevertheless, it is unrealistic to expect the government officials to follow people’s will blindly because people are often divided over important social issues.  For example, gay and lesbian marriage has been a hot issue in the United States in recent years.  While more and more Americans have become tolerant of homosexual couples, there are still a significant group of conservatives who oppose fiercely the idea of gay and lesbian marriage.  Given the deep disputes over the issue, it is not possible for the government to “carry out people’s will” because there is no consensus in the society on this issue.  The government will always be against certain people’s will no matter what it does.  Ultimately, the government officials have to make their own judgments taking into the account the public opinions, the laws as well as the overall public interests

天地1沙鸥UID: 3654706

issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

方法1和3
Step down means to relinquish their power and we should view from different perspectives scientists/ politicians/ merchants


我的提纲如下
TP：
With the increasing popularity of a superior series showed on TV, the House of Cards, where the actors behave viciously abusing the political power. Here comes a heated debate on whether those who are in power should step down after certain years? As far as I am concerned, sharing the power of the dominating people alternatively after several years deed makes senses in some areas like politics. While in the contrary， the power should not transfer in some other areas like science, business.

TS1
First of all, it is absolutely indispensable for politicians to follow the rules that changing the dominating people after certain years to keep the governments from corruption and bribes.
Example:  the president of USA, must obey the basic rule that could not be in position over 8 years to forbid them foster their own organizations to interfere the democratic decisions.
Reason: if sufficient flexibility exists in the politics, especially for changing the positions of the leaders, the dictatorship could be escaped and then the chances for corruption could also be avoided as a result.

Cohension红色同类词蓝色为逻辑词
First of all, it is absolutely indispensable for politicians to follow the rules that changing the dominating people after certain years to keep the governments from corruption and bribes. As we all know, those bureaucrats who master a certain area or aspects over a long period would be likely to foster the monarch. Under this circumstance, there is a larger chance of creating the ground of bribes as the inferior bureaucrats tend to cater to the leaders. On the contrary, if sufficient flexibility exists in the politics, especially for changing the positions of the leaders, the dictatorship could be escaped and then the chances for corruption could also be avoided as a result. For example, the president of USA, must obey the basic rule that could not be in position over 8 years to forbid them foster their own organizations to interfere the democratic decisions.

TS2  
However, the reality is that those who are in power to constanly dominate the science area may be more benefical.
Example: Enstain had long been the 权威 in physics, who contributes alot to the physics improvement       
Reason: Because the science outcomes are based on the former foundation, therefore those who are the leaders is more likely to find out the larger breakthrough and then rapidden the progress of science.

TS3   
In addition, there is an indispensible need for the experienced dominating people to last their power in businesses.
Example: the Apple company, which repalce the original CEO Jobs by others, suffer a hard time.
Reason: Companies should keep a consistent style over a long period and avoid sharp change to escape from disturbing the customers
感觉还是需要对逻辑连接词进行进一步强化，不是很明显

芸乔UID: 3596115

issue 8/111/149
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Intro
In regard to the power, the tenure and the corruption, the vitalization are usually related. The statement assigns that leaders should not be in his/her tenure for more than five years in the field of business, education and government. However, I tend to argue that the limited tenure in the government is essential while the requirement of the period of tenure should be more flexible.

TS1
In the field of business, some of the leaders have tightly connected with the name or brand of the company, and it would be arbitrary to demand he/she to quit after five years. In this case, the change of leadership may raise doubts as to the new leaders reliability and capability.
Eg. Steve Jobs & Apple, Bill Gates & Microsoft, Jack Ma & Alibaba
Insights and experience

TS2
If we switch our attention to the field of education, the compulsory period of leadership is not advisable.
Eg. time for a reasonable educational system

TS3
Nevertheless, in the world of politics, the proposed argument should apply to the government officials.
Compelling reason: policies not consistent
Eg. avoid corruptions, revitalization


不知道例子是否得当，一些短语的用法是否正确


分析老师范文issue 50
Nevertheless, it is unrealistic to expect the government officials to follow people’s will blindly because people are often divided over important social issues.  For example, gay and lesbian marriage has been a hot issue in the United States in recent years.  While more and more Americans have become tolerant of homosexual couples, there are still a significant group of conservatives who oppose fiercely the idea of gay and lesbian marriage.  Given the deep disputes over the issue, it is not possible for the government to “carry out people’s will” because there is no consensus in the society on this issue.  The government will always be against certain people’s will no matter what it does.  Ultimately, the government officials have to make their own judgments taking into the account the public opinions, the laws as well as the overall public interests.

分析自己的段落：
If we switch our attention to the field of education, the compulsory period of leadership is not advisable. Principals, responsible for the development of the university, ought to have enough experience in building up a sounded educational system. In order to promise the smooth operation of a system, he/she has to spend years in raising money, attracting celebrated scholars, applying to an advanced educational system and modifying it, which takes much longer than five years. If an ambitious principal is demanded to leave his/her position in five years, many ideas would not be systematically and effectively implemented. Therefore, if the leaders of the university are insightful, the tenure should be extended for the better development of the university.


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点评21楼：
Issue 104/107
To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.

整体结构很好，有一些用词可以润色，显得更正式一点。
开头段不说了，写得挺明确的。

中间段：
TS1.最后一句：If a political official is accepted by the citizens, their political goals are more likely to get.
Goals 可以用 achieve 或attain

TS2.However, the high moral standards does(改为do) not guarantee the effectiveness of a leader, in the same way, the non-possession of high moral is not undoubtedly relate to incompetent. (relate不用被动) 最后应该是名词incompetence?
例子里面提到秦始皇是winner of all these wars，但是上文没提到是哪些war，估计阅卷人也不懂，这个例子可以写得更好一些。

后面两个例子没有太多建议。层主对罗斯福很了解啊~例子都用得挺不错的~~

xiulin2015UID: 3609356

Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

In my opinion, government officials must contemplate over the will of people who consists of the society and makes contributions to the community when making the policies and its implementation. Ignoring the will of people and relying on government officials’ own judgement would usually lead to the perfidy to governance. It would be worse if government acts against the will of people for the sake of their own interests and the conflict between government and its people would come up with an unstable economic and political situation. Even when government needs to sacrifice people's short-term interests to secure national security and ensure the nation's long-term goal, it is necessary to negotiate with interest bodies of the society and seek for the common standings.  
T1 The loyalty to government is established on the mutual grounds with its people. Ignoring the will of people but replying on officials’ own judgement would usually result in the perfidy  to the governance. If we look into current Trump government, the citizens in United States are very disappointed to its lacking of common grounds with its people and creating barrier to the nation’s liberal policies such as Mexican Wall. The resentment to the racist and liberalists have been worsened than the previous governments and Trumpism becomes the negative word to its nation and its image as the greatest nation in the world has been deteriorated seriously.   
T2 The disconnection with the people’s wills would come up with unstable economic and political scenario and weaken its sustainability. the cultural revolution in Chinese history is the disaster to the nation’s development.
T3 It is necessary for the people to understand the nation’s long term goal and officials seeking opportunities to talk mutually on the common standings

quoted from AIdaily on August 21

There is a good reason that liberals focus extra attention on minorities, since they are the most likely to be disenfranchised. But the only way in a democracy to meaningfully assist them — and not just make empty gestures of recognition and "celebration" — is to win elections and exercise power in the long run, at every level of government. And the only way to accomplish that is to have a message that appeals to as many people as possible and pulls them together. Identity liberalism does just the opposite, and reinforces the alt-right’s picture of politics as a war of competing identity groups. ( the cohesion of paragraph is centered on the liberals and identity liberalism and clarification on how liberals and identity liberalism work; the coherence is strengthened by the conjunctions such as since, but, and. Specifically to say, it used the repetition of "the only way” to emphasis and elaborate on the way liberals works and make the “opposite" way to “liberalism". )

powerfulbeanUID: 3829312

issue 62 leaders are created by demands

Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

我采用第三种，从不同角度解释观点的正确性。

Intro
Some people believe that leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them, but this claim should be carefully scrutinized. In most cases, the leaders are selected by others because of their skills, talents, or strong abilities, they are often placed on demands after becoming leaders. Nevertheless, in certain exceptional circumstances, people can become leaders in response to the demands like emergencies.

TS1
In academic field, those who become leaders of certain fields is because of their brilliant achievements of the fields, they have the ability to push the researches ahead.
Eg. In the Computer Science field, many new concepts ,which are not immediately used by others at that time, are found by the researchers following leaders who are fond of developing new theories. To be exactly, Machine Learning is now one of the most popular techniques, but it was actually firstly put forward in last century. The leader of it are not demand by the software industry, but now he becomes one of the most famous masters in Machine Learning.

TS2
In the daily life, such as during the work, the leaders become leaders are because of their professional management skills.
Eg. In the IT industry, a product manager need be familiar with many techniques, including development, test, demand or other things,.
Eg Also, the leader of teachers have more teaching skills.


Ts3
As we all know, when facing problems or emergencies, ordinary people are demanded to be leaders because there are no other choices.



Coherence & Cohesion Analysis
Model Paragraph
In addition to communication skills, leaders also have to receive relevant training to acquire the professional qualifications and expertise that are necessary for the leadership positions. Referring to the examples of leaders in academic research field again, it is clear that anyone interested in joining an editorial board of a top journal or becoming the chairperson of an academic association must, in addition to holding a PhD in relevant fields, have published influential papers in the field and accumulated extensive administrative experiences.  Usually with such publication records and relevant experiences, the person will be able to get the jobs as the leaders. In other words, taking the leadership roles in an institution does not necessarily relate to the demands for leadership.  


Ts3感觉例子没太想好，但是感觉老师的例子很棒。

Dover999UID: 3808377

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

It’s really delighted to see that democracy has replanted monarchy within the past hundreds of years in many places. However, democracy doesn’t mean that the government officials should always obey to the will of people. We know that the government has three branches, namely congress (the legislative system), president (the leader), the courts (the judicial branch). These three branches are relatively independent or we call it shares checks and balances. More specifically, each one of the three branches can’t hold all the power for itself. Hence, it’s is only the public people who determine the future of a state. Let me talk about it in detail.
TS1
The individual or some certain group trends to acts out their own interest. So in this case, usually they neglect the whole interest.
TS2
Besides, the public people sometimes are lack of specific knowledge. Hence, when it comes to decide the oriental of development of science and technology, it is mainly decided by the government officials. For example, the funds are usually decided by the NSF.
TS3
Though the government have enough experience to govern the country, they have to listen to their people for their succession.


This issue seems not difficult to work out in the first sight. However, the supporting examples are not easy to find.

telepathyivanUID: 3790595

issue 16/50/86/114/115/139

issue 50: Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
In regard to constructing a democratic society, government officials are elected to represent and perform people’s will. When it comes to make decisions, they have to balance the proportion of their own judgement and people’s opinion. Some people argue that government officials have to unquestioningly follow the will of people they serve because they become who they are as the result of people’s support and they are just representatives. However, I maintain that government officals should consult people’s opinions and make reasonable judgement, taking many other factors into consideration. Therefore, a stable, democratic and progressive society can be expected.

To begin with, government officals need to consult pulic opinions about things closely related to their everyday life.
Eg.Infrastructure

Moreover, leaders in government should make judgements based on many other aspects like long-term benefits when it comes to direct the future of nation.
Eg. Roosevelt New Deal

In addtion, heads of government should never follow people’s opinions blindly because they are selected not to simply serve as a loud hailer but people who can stand higher to guide others.
Eg. Media manipulate people.
明天补后面的连贯性和他人评价