Issue128 追星剑特训2.1作业 必回拍

linakUID: 155465

Issue128. It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. In reality, however, formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
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As we know, it is the purpose of education that frees the mind and the spirit as the author asserted. However, since the education is always considered as a compulsive proceed that all the students should accomplish the works as the educators tell, the author got the conclusion that education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. I disagree with this conclusion for the reasons lie bellow.

On the one hand, education is proceed in which students can learn the ability of reasoning and logical thinking and how to deal with their own emotions, a proceed which broaden students' thought and free their mind accordingly. With the study of the aspects of science, a student can learn how to ratiocinate and cultivate the ability of logical thinking and origination, all of which make his thought more broad thus free his mind; while after the discussing the aspects of humanity with his teacher, he can know much better about the history of human beings. With the knowledge of science and society, students can free themselves from the superstitions and make more scientific and reasonable thinking. For supporting this assertion one only need to see the ancient people in Copernicus' times who believed that earth is the center of universe. Therefore, education teaches students the knowledge both in aspects of science and society, with which they free their mind and spirit.

On the other hand, students should be taught much basic knowledge that seems to be very dull, yet it is necessary for the purpose of freeing their mind and spirits. Many people may consider the basic knowledge to be dull and boring. It is compulsive to learn some basic knowledge before everyone learns more profound and original thoughts, thus some people may think that this will tie students' mind for the reason that everyone learns the same boring thing. However, as the framework of our building of knowledge, the basics are necessary that profound and original thoughts are derived from them; since learning is proceed of accumulating knowledge step by step. If students do not study the basics how can they learn much more just as reasoning or logical thinking? Therefore, learning basic knowledge that seems to be boring will also free students' mind and spirits instead of restraining them.

Admittedly, education has also some flaws that are not reasonable and will restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. One compelling example is today's emphasis on grades. Now many students in school pursuit a higher grades rather than learning of knowledge, which will restrain their mind and spirits. There must be some amelioration that makes education better free students' mind and spirits.

To sum up, it is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit; and formal education does this function though teaching students both the basic knowledge and knowledge of reasoning and humanity, although it has some flaws.

翦瞳UID: 184872

我也想参加追星剑特训，怎么报名阿？

翦瞳UID: 184872

As we know, it is the purpose of education that frees the mind and the spirit as the author asserted. However, since the education is always considered as a compulsive proceed [proceeding]that all the students should accomplish the works as the educators tell, the author got the conclusion that education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. I disagree with this conclusion for the reasons lie bellow.

On the one hand, education is proceed [the process]in which students can learn the ability of reasoning and logical thinking and how to deal with their own emotions, a proceed which broaden students' thought and free their mind accordingly. With the study of the aspects of science, a student can learn how to ratiocinate and cultivate the ability of logical thinking and origination, all of which make his thought more broad thus free his mind; while after the discussing the aspects of humanity with his teacher, he can know much better about the history of human beings. With the knowledge of science and society, students can free themselves from the superstitions and make more scientific and reasonable thinking. For supporting this assertion one only need to see the ancient people in Copernicus' times who believed that earth is the center of universe. Therefore, education teaches students the knowledge both in aspects of science and society, with which they free their mind and spirit.有一点重复，是不是可以考虑一下，加一点例子，或者用aphorism
On the other hand, students should be taught much basic knowledge that seems to be very dull, yet it is necessary for the purpose of freeing their mind and spirits. Many people may consider the basic knowledge to be dull and boring. It is compulsive to learn some basic knowledge before everyone learns more profound and original thoughts, thus some people may think that this will tie students' mind for the reason that everyone learns the same boring thing. However, as the framework of our building of knowledge, the basics are necessary that profound and original thoughts are derived from them; since learning is proceed of accumulating knowledge step by step. If students do not study the basics how can they learn much more just as reasoning or logical thinking? Therefore, learning basic knowledge that seems to be boring will also free students' mind and spirits instead of restraining them.仍然觉得有一点verbose,建议用盖茨的例子，说明基础教育的必需。
Admittedly, education has also some flaws that are not reasonable and [to some extent]will restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. 有一点矛盾One compelling example is today's emphasis on grades. Now many students in school pursuit a higher grades rather than learning of knowledge,[是否可以展开一下，举个例子] which will restrain their mind and spirits同样一句话可以换个说法. There must be some amelioration that makes education better free students' mind and spirits.

To sum up, it is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit; and formal education does this function though teaching students both the basic knowledge and knowledge of reasoning and humanity, although it has some flaws.

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

As we know, it is the purpose of education that frees the mind and the spirit as the author asserted. However, since the education is always considered as a compulsive proceed that all the students should accomplish the works as the educators tell, the author got the conclusion that education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. I disagree with this conclusion for the reasons lie bellow.开头有进步,表扬!!!!:kiss:

On the one hand, education is a proceed in which students can learn the ability 搭配不当of reasoning and logical thinking and how to deal with their own emotions, a proceed which broaden students' thought and free their mind accordingly. With the study of the aspects of science, a student can learn how to ratiocinate and cultivate the ability of logical thinking and origination, all of which make his thought more broadbroader? thus free his mind; while after the discussing the aspects of humanity with his teacher, he can know much better about the history of human beings. With the knowledge of science and society, students can free themselves from the superstitions 好论点,可惜一个and淡化了,要围绕这个说,不要一笔带过.and make more scientific and reasonable thinking. For supporting this assertion one only need to see the ancient people in Copernicus' times who believed that earth is the center of universe. Therefore, education teaches students the knowledge both in aspects of science and society, with which they free their mind and spirit.

两个毛病.一,你得中心句写得是emotion,后面论证只字未提.是硬伤.二,要正面解释什么是free,也就是你得理解,比如这里提到free from superstition是个很好论点. 如果这个问题不解决,文章就像一盘散沙

On the other hand, students should be taught much basic knowledge that seems to be very dull, yet it is necessary for the purpose of freeing their mind and spirits. Many people may consider the basic knowledge to be dull and boring. It is compulsive to learn some basic knowledge before everyone learns more profound and original thoughts, thus some people may think that this will tie students' mind for the reason that everyone learns the same boring thing. However, as the framework of our building of knowledge, the basics are necessary that profound and original thoughts are derived from them; since learning is proceed of accumulating knowledge step by step. If students do not study the basics how can they learn much more just as reasoning or logical thinking? Therefore, learning basic knowledge that seems to be boring will also free students' mind and spirits instead of restraining them.

我得建议:这一段应当放到前面.即论证:理论基础和框架是获得知识的前提,没有这个free是虚设的(当然你要根据自己定义的free来说)
另外,你文章的重点应当是说教育如何能free人的mind.所以第一段是重点.可以根据free的几个方面分而论证.
issue还是要立论为主

Admittedly, education has also some flaws that are not reasonable and will restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free. One compelling example is today's emphasis on grades. Now many students in school pursuit a higher grades rather than learning of knowledge, which will restrain their mind and spirits. There must be some amelioration that makes education better free students' mind and spirits.
鸡肋段,没必要向老外展示你思考的全面性.

To sum up, it is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit; and formal education does this function though teaching students both the basic knowledge and knowledge of reasoning and humanity, although it has some flaws.

[ Last edited by 乒乓球爱上九月 on 2005-7-7 at 09:32 ]

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

困了 明天来.

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

总结一下:文章闪现的好观点,自己总是不知道.总是爱写admit段,鄙视一下.
你是要说服别人的,不要总是那么小心翼翼,观点要再清晰一点.

over

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

Originally posted by 翦瞳 at 2005-7-5 16:20
我也想参加追星剑特训，怎么报名阿？

直接反映在标题上.不用报名.