Argument147 0606G-kito小组leedgen习作，来拍砖啊，谢谢大家

leedgenUID: 160823

147 The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'

提纲
1. 调查对象的可信性
2. 调查结果和销售的关系
3. Whirlwind引进了这种游戏，未必能调高销售额，要考虑其它因素的影响

Depending on the result of a recent survey of video-game players, the arguer unfairly draws the conclusion that the sales of whirlwind video games will possibly rise dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer provide the information that Whirlwind has recently introduced several video-games which have exactly the features that video-game players prefer as is shown in the survey. However, a careful examination of this argument would reveal how groundless it is.

The first salient flaw in this argument is the validity of the survey in video-game players. In this argument the speaker provides little information about the respondents. Are these respondents is the representatives of all the video-players? Are they truly familiar with the video-games? Or it is highly possible that these people are not randomly chosen for the survey. Still we need information about the number of those who are surveyed and the number of respondents, without which it is impossible to access the validity of the results. In short, lacking such evidences about this survey, the conclusion about the preference of video-games players would be highly suspected.

Another patent fallacy lies in that the speaker mishandles with the relationship between the result of a survey and the practical sales of the video-games. Granted that the result of this survey is valid, there is still no good reason to assume that the sales of lifelike video-games is going to rise. As is said in this argument, the video-game, having lifelike graphics, requires the most up-to-date computers which many people do not own currently. It is also likely that these people might not be willing to replace their computers in the next few months and this might lead to the fact that they will be reluctant to buy those games with lifelike graphics. So in a word, the speaker bases his conclusion on the weak connection between the result of the survey and the sales of the video-games, unfortunately such conclusion is certainly not convincing as it stands.

Furthermore, the speaker fails to take other factors into account when he concludes that the sales of Whirlwind will surge in the following few months. It is quite possible that there are several other firms selling this kind of video-games and providing further services to the games while Whirlwind might have none of these services. This assumption certainly will have an impact on the sales of the video-games. Without ruling out other impacts on the sales of video-games of Whirlwind, it would be presumptuous to allege that the sales of Whirlwind will increase distinctly.

To sum up, basing on the mere fact that video-games players prefer lifelike graphics and Whirlwind has just introduced such games, the arguer is unwarranted to make rash conclusion that Whirlwind is likely to gain a rising sales of video-games. More detailed survey of other essential issues should be taken.

[ Last edited by leedgen on 2005-12-14 at 22:37 ]

[ 本帖最后由 lastangel 于 2007-3-28 09:36 编辑 ]

kito9695UID: 209685

According to a recent research, parents and communities involvement in schools improves students achievements. Professional educators, parents and communities are interwoven in the system of education; therefore, to reach at their potential, students need their parents and the communities to take an active role in the school education.

OneOn the one hand, parents’ role in education are of such importance that they should be involved in the local schools. There are several reasons to show this is the caseThere are several reasons to show the case. Most important of all, parents’ involvement in education can improve children’s academic achievements. Children will do better in school when parents talk oftenoften talk with teachers and become involved in the school. Besides, by participating in the work of professional educators and the local schools, parents can help teachers better understand their children and how they support the education of their children. Better understanding and communication between teachers and parents will eventually help the children. Furthermore, parent-child relationship will be improved to some extent if parents often take part in activities in the local schools. Although it is not always for parents to find time and energy to become involved to coordinate with schedules for school events, parents should make it as possible as they can, for their children can feel their care and the position in their parents’ heart. The last but not least reasonlast but not least一般都直接用，不用作形容词吧 is that parent’s involvement in schools helps parents develop positive attitudes toward schools and better understanding of the school process. By this means parents can do much good to their children’s education and will not leave the total responsibility to athe group of professional educators.

One the other hand, communities can also contribute to the education of children by involving in the local schools. The first conspicuous point is that communities and school can establish school-business partnerships which are apparently a better way than simply financing the schools. By this cooperation school as well as students can apply good ideas and new views to these firms in practices. The second salient issue is that some organizations or people in communities can contribute to the school education along with the professional educators. For instance, social service workers can meet with the school counselors, and medical organizations can provide instruments needed by the school health center. A special group of people, retiree, has so much to contribute to the education. Schools can recruit retirees to volunteer in the education, sharing their experiences and expertise on relevant topics. The third significant reason why communities should be involved in the local schools is that communities and schools are a complete unity and interact on many aspects. That is to say, events in communities will finally influence the local schools and the opposite is also right. In a word, local schools is connected with communities and this tie should not be cut out which is beneficial to the education of children.

In conclusion, both parents and communities involvement in the local schools can contribute much to the education of the children. The more parents and communities are involved in the school education, the more those professional educators can help the children to improve their achievements.

leedgen写得很好啊，好多句子，用词都值得我学习，句子结构也很清晰。每个段落里的层次也很好，麻烦leedgen 把段内层义也写在提纲里，给大家参考.
呵呵，可以用作优秀习作了。

kito9695UID: 209685

刚看了你给智恩的修改，加上professional educator的重要性的却可能完整一些。嗯，leedgen写得太好了，没改很多，请见谅。

leedgenUID: 160823

Originally posted by kito9695 at 2005-12-15 09:40
刚看了你给智恩的修改，加上professional educator的重要性的却可能完整一些。嗯，leedgen写得太好了，没改很多，请见谅。

谢谢kito帮我修改哟，不过位子贴错了，应该贴到issue 154那个贴里，嘻嘻

我可是花了2个多小时才凑出来的，没那么好啦，一会我把issue的提纲再改改

kito9695UID: 209685

看到了,呵呵，早上太急了，重贴一下

kito9695UID: 209685

Depending on the result of a recent survey of video-game players, the arguer unfairly draws the conclusion that the sales of whirlwind video games will possibly rise dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer provideprovides the information that Whirlwind has recently introduced several video-games which have exactly the features that video-game players prefer as is shown in the survey. However, a careful examination of this argument would revealwill reveal或者reveals how groundless it is.

The first salient flaw in this argument is the validity of the survey in video-game players. In this argument the speaker provides little information about the respondents. Are these respondents is the representatives of all the video-players? Are they truly familiar with the video-games? Or it is highly possible that these people are not randomly chosen for the survey. Still we need information about the number of those who are surveyed and the number of respondents, without which it is impossible to access the validity of the results. In short, lacking such evidences about this survey, the conclusion about the preference of video-games players would be highly suspected.
我想到的其他与调查有关的漏洞：整体推局部——10-25岁的人不一定和调查结果一致也喜欢画面感强的游戏

Another patent fallacy lies in that the speaker mishandles with the relationship between the result of a survey and the practical sales of the video-games. Granted that the result of this survey is valid, there is still no good reason to assume that the sales of lifelike video-games is going to rise. As is said in this argument, the video-game, having lifelike graphics, requires the most up-to-date computers which many people do not own currently. It is also likely that these people might not be willing to replace their computers in the next few months and this might lead to the fact that they will be reluctant to buy those games with lifelike graphics. So in a word, the speaker bases his conclusion on the weak connection between the result of the survey and the sales of the video-games, unfortunately such conclusion is certainly not convincing as it stands. 这个分句前面缺连词

Furthermore, the speaker fails to take other factors into account when he concludes that the sales of Whirlwind will surge in the following few months. It is quite possible that there are several other firms selling this kind of video-games and providing further services to the games while Whirlwind might have none of these services. This assumption去掉assumption吧，是上述情况会影响销量，而不是假设影响销量 certainly will have an impact on the sales of the video-games. Without ruling out other impacts on the sales of video-games of Whirlwind, it would be presumptuous to allege that the sales of Whirlwind will increase distinctly这个时态感觉用的不太对，但我也不确定正确地用法.

To sum up, basing on the mere fact that video-games players prefer lifelike graphics and Whirlwind has just introduced such games, the arguer is unwarranted to make therash conclusion that Whirlwind is likely to gain a rising sales of video-games. More detailed survey of other essential issues should be taken.

leedgen用词都很地道，句式富于变化，逻辑也很清楚，值得学习！

feixiaUID: 2238080

Argument 147 The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.
分析：
背景：两年来销售量下降
目的：销售量猛增
手段：推出逼真画面的游戏；针对10－25（最可能玩游戏）广泛宣传
理由：玩家认为画面逼真最重要（需要新式电脑）
错误：
理由不足以支持手段：玩家认为某因素最重要和最终选择是两码事，最终选择考虑的是各种因素的综合结果(分两部分)
销售量下降的原因可能有其他：竞争因素（新对手加入，产品类似，服务更好）

From 20:55 to 22:10

In order to reverse the declining sales, Whirlwind carried out actually two policies: introducing video games with lifelike graphics and advertising their products to people 10 to 25 years old. Since the survey result that players prefer such games superficially support the strategy, and its advertising objects are the most likely consumer group, the arguer draw the conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are possible to increase dramatically in the next few months.

In the author’s line of reasoning, there exists a latent assumption that consumers would choose the product that own his favorite quality regardless other elements, which is controversial at least in two aspects, as far as I’m concerned.

First of all, there are a great many qualities, other than mere graphics to be considered when people choose video games. The sinuosity of its plot, and whether it’s convenient to operate and so forth, may also be important elements, though they are less emphasized than lifelike graphics by players. Admittedly, there would be no alternatives when comparing several video games among which one is superior than any other one in terms of all these elements. However, in most cases things would be quite different, usually with several products providing their advantages in distinct qualities. So from this point, making a decision between a video game with highly lifelike graphics but an insipid story and one providing good lifelike graphics and also a good plot might be a dilemma. Nobody could assure that consumers would always choose the former, and for me, I’m more likely to get the latter one.

Secondly, if we put aside the products’ various quality elements aside, another apparent fallacy shows up. That is, another considerable restriction, the conditions of computers, was neglected. As is known to us all, the more realistic the graphic is, the higher standard of a computer would be needed. Consumers are confronted with the balance between playing a video game and replacing their computers to more up-to-date ones. Even if they determine to renew their computers for the sake of trying the game finally after suffering consideration, the process of realizing the plan is rather troublesome. Since most of our consumers are youngsters of 10 to 25, a great majority of whom get financial aids from their parents, the excuse of changing computers so as to enjoy a video game sounds a little ridiculous to parents. Thus, considering all the above situations, to buy the game, or not, remains a problem.

Furthermore, there would be other causation of the sales declination of Whirlwind during the past two years, for instance, competitive factors and other outside ingredients. Maybe, some more similar companies crowded in the market of Whirlwind, whose products are quite the same or even better, and whose after-sale services are more human and welcomed, and so forth.

In sum, merely basing on the result of a survey to verdict whether these policies would be efficient is unadvisable, at least the possible situations mentioned should be involved in the process of analytic reasoning.

这两天课程作业之类的太多了，很对不起大家，提纲和修改一定尽快补上。

feixiaUID: 2238080

对不起啊，发错地方了呵呵