issue144(sally组）

48778UID: 209221

TOPIC：ISSUE 144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
WORDS：502          TIME：0:45:00          DATE：2005-12-16

The speaker concludes that the artist gives society something of lasting value. As far as I am concerned that the artist creates the value for the human beings, however the critic analyzes the masterpieces in an objective way and tells other individuals how to understand them, which make the work of art more valuable.聚集欣赏

To begin with, the work of art, on which the value is aggregated, is created by the artist. That is to say that the genuine value of a craft belongs to the artist who works the beautiful craft to serve the human. His works help us to understand the world or other things which can not be known by our banal thoughts. For instance, a drawing depicts a beautiful place where somebody can enjoy the nature. Through the drawing we can escape from the busy lives and have a rest. So it bring relax to us and we can obtain the value which is only belonged to the artist before.

However, some works of the art can not be easily understood by every individual. In fact the critics can help us to know it and understand how to appreciate it. Then we can obtain the true value of these works. As case in point is the work of Picasso. In the whole life of the Picasso he created large numbers of pictures which come in all forms, but in the beginning his drawings can not be accepted by the public. After some critics who appreciate his works in a untraditional way recognized the value of his works and explained them to the public, so more and more people begin to involve these works in a friendly way and understand them at last. So his drawings last for so long time that we still have the chance to appreciate them and the critics make it possible.

In addition, the critics can find some faults of the work of art and propose them. So these works can be appreciated by the public in a proper way and can be revised by the artists or other artists who devote to this kind of art. Every thing is not always perfect. The work of the art is no exception. Due to the complexion of the art not everyone can fully understand it, let alone find faults and revise them. The critics who study the works of the field not only can identify the true value, but also can find the faults, so they can instruct us the work in an objective way and the lasting and true value of the works can be handed down from generation to generation.

In sum, given the above offered reasons which analyze the contribution of the critics and artists to the human beings it is comfortable to reach the conclusion that the work created by the artists can be understood by the public only after explanation of the critics and these critics make the value which is belonged to few people before last for ever.

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

issue144(sally组）
建议作者下次最好写个中文的提纲，这样修改的人也好有个清晰的脉络把握。当然，你要限时的话可以写了提纲再算时间。

TOPIC：ISSUE 144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
WORDS：502          TIME：0:45:00          DATE：2005-12-16

The speaker concludes that the artist gives society something of lasting value. As far as I am concerned that the artist creates the value for the human beings, however the critic analyzes the masterpieces in an objective way and tells other individuals how to understand them, which make the work of art more valuable.聚集欣赏
不错的开头，简单但清晰。

To begin with, the work of art, on which the value is aggregated,觉得这句不是很地道，表达可以稍微再注意下，首先，句型不是很地道of which is better than on which，再次，aggregrated 这个词显得你的观点太极端了，个人觉得appreciated更恰当。 is created by the artist. That is to say that the genuine value of a craft belongs to the artist who works on the beautiful craft to serve the human. His works help us to understand the world or other things which can not be known by our banal thoughts. For instance, a drawing depicts a beautiful place where somebody can enjoy the nature. Through the drawing we can escape from the busy lives here should be life and have a rest. So it bring relax to us and we can obtain the value which is only belonged to the artist before.
观点和思考的觉得很好，但觉得例子稍微浅了点，要不然把例子分析透点，要不再加上一个例子使更有力支持观点，

However, some works of the art can not be easily understood by every individual. In fact the critics can help us to know it and understand how to appreciate it. Then we can obtain the true value of these works. As case in point is the work of Picasso. In the whole life of the Picasso he created large numbers of pictures which come in all forms, but in the beginning his drawings can not be accepted by the public. After some critics who appreciate his works in a untraditional way recognized the value of his works and explained them to the public, so 最好不要 more and more people begin to involve 这个词语再斟酌下吧these works in a friendly way and understand them at last. So his drawings last for so long time such a long time applies better here  that we still have the chance to appreciate them and and is not the apt word to connect two parts here, becasue may make the sentence more logical  the critics make it possible.

In addition, the critics can find some faults of the work of art and propose them. 这里不要断句吧，用逗号旧好。So these works can be appreciated by the public in a proper way and can be revised by the artists or other artists who devote to devised may be better than devote to  here this kind of art. Every thing is not always perfect. The work of the art is no exception. Due to the complexion of the art not everyone can fully understand it, let alone find faults and revise them. The critics who study the works of the field not only can identify the true value, but also can find the faults, so they can instruct us the work in an objective way and the lasting and true value of the works can be handed down from generation to generation.

In sum, given the above offered reasons which analyze the contribution of the critics and artists to the human beings it is comfortable to reach the conclusion that the work created by the artists can be understood by the public only after explanation of the critics and these critics make the value which is belonged 不要用被动to few people before last for ever.

作者的逻辑很清晰，选择的分析点非常不错，但若语言能再润色就更好了。

48778UID: 209221

其实和argument一样,我的分析很不到位,就是点一下.这个问题确实其他网友也给我提出好多次,还有句子之间的语言过渡也是个大问题.组长修改的特别细,太感谢了.我努力从这几方面改进.