Issue7 (baxia小组作业)

michelle1021UID: 195011

In our daily life, to leave a good remember of a commemorable occasion, the video camera is sometimes used for taking a whole process of the moment; other times some written records will be taken as the documentation. Some people have the idea that because of the accuracy and the convincing record of the video camera, it is more important to take a record of video camera than to take a written one. However, I believe that although the technology is booming so speedy that the importance of the outcome---the video camera ---has being promoting all the time, it is still impossible for the video camera to preponderate over the written records, and both of the video and the written records are necessary.

The video camera was invented for taking a record vividly, having the past memorable times re-enjoyed, and getting the exact scene at the very spot. We can review our happy times and miserable periods through out of our life times in a bystander’s view which can help us remind our memory of the past. And it can be utilized for public issues. In large supermarkets, video camera can be used as a monitor in case of thieves and robbers; in serious examinations, it can be used in case of cheating; and on the road requiring slow speed, it can be used for in case of overspeeding. What is more, movies and teleplays could be screened by video cameras. Without video cameras, the number of violations of the rules and laws may increase and the laughter from comedies and soap operas will be less and less.我觉得的这里你只在说video camera可以用来干什么，但是可以稍微加入些写written records在这方面的劣势

Although so many advantages of the video camera have been unveiled, we still cannot ignore the disadvantages. The cost of a video camera is still considerable for a common person and what the fatal flaw is that the video camera merely photographs the superficial scenes without emotional feelings.我觉得这段可以再写一些，因为比上一段少太多了

However, the written records can record not only events but, which is more important, the feelings on that occasion. For example, memoirists can give a good revision of an important event with the emotion of the writer involved in. And because of the cheapness of paper, it is practical for average person to take written records. In addition, it is still an actuality that it is easier and more convenience for most people to read on paper than on a video machine. Without written records, some of the personal comments or ideas may lose because of no records. But it is easy to see that the written records are not as objective and veracious as the video records.

In sum, the video camera can give a vivid, objective record without the emotion from the video taker, while the written record can provide not only the scene but also the subjective ideas and personal comments which may form a valuable mechanism for the society. If we just emphasize the video camera records but neglect the written records, we will lose a lot of valuable thoughts noted on paper materials.
我觉得整个语言都很流畅，用词也很不错，就是结构还要协调一点比较好

deelee221UID: 2170883

Issue7 (baxia小组作业)

Issue7
"The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."

提纲：
１．        Video camera 和 written records 都是必要的，各有各的好处。
２．        Video camera 的优点，如果没有Video camera 会怎样, 但是它的缺点是什么
３．        Written records的优点，如果没有Written records会怎样，但是它的缺点是什么
４．        两者应该都是必要的. 具体点吧？
(疯了，还是没例子。。。)

In our daily life, to leave a good remember memmory? of a commemorable occasion, the video camera is sometimes used for taking a whole process of the moment; other times some written records will be taken as the documentation. Some people have the idea that because of the accuracy and the convincing record of the video camera, it is more important to take a record of video camera than to take a written one. However, I believe that although the technology is booming so speedy that the importance of the outcome---the video camera ---has being promoting all the time, it is still impossible for the video camera to preponderate over the written records, and both of the video and the written records are necessary.

The video camera was invented for taking a record vividly, having the past memorable times re-enjoyed, and getting the exact scene at the very spot. We can review our happy times and miserable periods through out of our life times in a bystander’s view which can help us remind our memory of the past. And it can be utilized for public issues. In large supermarkets, video camera can be used as a monitor in case of thieves and robbers; in serious examinations, it can be used in case of cheating; and on the road requiring slow speed, it can be used for in case of overspeeding. What is more, movies and teleplays could be screened by video cameras. Without video cameras, the number of violations of the rules and laws may increase and the laughter from comedies and soap operas will be less and less.

Although so many advantages of the video camera have been unveiled, we still cannot ignore the disadvantages. The cost of a video camera is still considerable for a common person and what the fatal flaw is that the video camera merely photographs the superficial scenes without emotional feelings. 单薄

However, the written records can record not only events but, which is more important, the feelings on that occasion. For example, memoirists can give a good revision of an important event with the emotion of the writer involved in. And because of the cheapness of paper, it is practical for average person to take written records. In addition, it is still an actuality that it is easier and more convenience 形容词？ for most people to read on paper than on a video machine. Without written records, some of the personal comments or ideas may lose because of no records. But it is easy to see that the written records are not as objective and veracious as the video records.

In sum, the video camera can give a vivid, objective record without the emotion from the video taker, while the written record can provide not only the scene but also the subjective ideas and personal comments which may form a valuable mechanism for the society. If we just emphasize the video camera records but while neglect the written records, we will lose a lot of valuable thoughts noted on paper materials.  

还不错啦，呵呵，感觉和我的差不多。。

forevercocoUID: 149574

１．        Video camera 和 written records 都是必要的，各有各的好处。
２．        Video camera 的优点，如果没有Video camera 会怎样, 但是它的缺点是什么
３．        Written records的优点，如果没有Written records会怎样，但是它的缺点是什么
４．        两者应该都是必要的.
[先说说对提纲的看法，要论述的应该是重要性而不是必要性哦，没有..会怎样，会不会偏题？继续看……]
In our daily life, to leave a good remember[memory] of a commemorable occasion, the video camera is sometimes used for taking a whole process of the moment; other times some written records will be taken as the documentation. [ms有问题，你这句话的意思是，video record不是documentation?] Some people have the idea that because of the accuracy and the convincing record of the video camera, it is more important to take a record of video camera than to take a written one. However, I believe that although the technology is booming so speedy that the importance of the outcome---the video camera ---has being promoting all the time, it is still impossible for the video camera to preponderate over the written records, and both of the video and the written records are necessary.
[从篇幅上来说，第一段太长了。只保留some people之后的部分就可以]

The video camera was invented for taking a record vividly, having the past memorable times re-enjoyed[有这个词？可以用replay], and getting the exact scene at the very spot. We can review our happy times and miserable periods through out of our life times in a bystander’s view which can help us remind our memory of the past[remind us of the memories]. And it can be utilized for public issues. In large supermarkets, video camera can be used as a monitor in case of [as a monitor in case of改成to monitor,感觉用in case of 好像有点问题] thieves and robbers; in serious examinations, it can be used in case of cheating; and on the road requiring slow speed, it can be used for in case of overspeeding. What is more, movies and teleplays could be screened by video cameras. Without video cameras, the number of violations of the rules and laws may increase and the laughter from comedies and soap operas will be less and less.[will be less就可以把，less and less是表示趋势的。还有一个问题，我觉得在法律上vc的作用主要是举证，或者是对犯罪分子有震慑作用，如果说减少guilt的话，还是缺乏依据的]

Although so many advantages of the video camera have been unveiled, we still cannot ignore the disadvantages. The cost of a video camera is still considerable for a common person and what the fatal flaw is that the video camera merely photographs the superficial scenes without emotional feelings.
[video camera merely photographs the superficial scenes without emotional feelings. 这个观点很好，完全可以加个例子的]

However, the written records can record not only events but, which is more important, the feelings on that occasion. For example, memoirists can give a good revision of an important event with the emotion of the writer involved in. And because of the cheapness of paper, it is practical for average person to take written records. In addition, it is still an actuality that it is easier and more convenience for most people to read on paper than on a video machine. Without written records, some of the personal comments or ideas may lose[be lost] because of no records.[ because of no records可以去掉]But it is easy to see that the written records are not as objective and veracious as the video records.
[这段写到了人们的惯性，也比较好。结尾和TS矛盾了啊]

In sum, the video camera can give a vivid, objective record without the emotion from the video taker, while the written record can provide not only the scene but also the subjective ideas and personal comments which may form a valuable mechanism for the society. If we just emphasize the video camera records but neglect the written records, we will lose a lot of valuable thoughts noted on paper materials.

[同样结尾很好，可以写一个关于valuable thoughts 的例子，比如说哲学，是任何video record都无法表述的抽象概念，恰恰是这些抽象的概念是我们对社会发展有着深刻的了解云云，我表达的也不是很清楚，5555]

freud5027UID: 2165870

In our daily life, to leave a good remember of a commemorable occasion, the video camera is sometimes used for taking a whole process of the moment; other times some written records will be taken as the documentation. Some people have the idea that because of the accuracy and the convincing record of the video camera, it is more important to take a record of video camera than to take a written one. However, I believe that although the technology is booming so speedy that the importance of the outcome---the video camera ---has being promoting all the time, it is still impossible for the video camera to preponderate over the written records, and both of the video and the written records are necessary.

The video camera was invented for taking a record vividly, having the past memorable times re-enjoyed, and getting the exact scene at the very spot. We can review our happy times and miserable periods through out of our life times in a bystander’s view which can help us remind our memory of the past. And it can be utilized for public issues. In large supermarkets, video camera can be used as a monitor in case of thieves and robbers; in serious examinations, it can be used in case of cheating; and on the road requiring slow speed, it can be used for in case of overspeeding. What is more, movies and teleplays could be screened by video cameras. Without video cameras, the number of violations of the rules and laws may increase and the laughter from comedies and soap operas will be less and less.

Although so many advantages of the video camera have been unveiled, we still cannot ignore the disadvantages. The cost of a video camera is still considerable for a common person and what the fatal flaw is that the video camera merely photographs the superficial scenes without emotional feelings. <没有情感我觉得未必，情感有很多方面，从儿童时期的录像可以感受父母的爱，从一些纪录片也能反映人们对社会的不满。主观抑或客观，取决于拍摄的人本身的想法、他如何看待video camera这样一个工具，也取决于观众的心境吧。>

However, the written records can record not only events but, which is more important, the feelings on that occasion. For example, memoirists can give a good revision of an important event with the emotion of the writer involved in. And because of the cheapness of paper<书好像没你说得这么便宜的>, it is practical for average person to take written records. In addition, it is still an actuality that it is easier and more convenience for most people to read on paper than on a video machine. Without written records, some of the personal comments or ideas may lose because of no records. <思想流传的方式有很多，口述、戏剧等，应该说written records是一种相对比较好的记录方式而已>But it is easy to see that the written records are not as objective and veracious as the video records.

In sum, the video camera can give a vivid, objective record without the emotion from the video taker, while the written record can provide not only the scene but also the subjective ideas and personal comments which may form a valuable mechanism for the society. If we just emphasize the video camera records but neglect the written records, we will lose a lot of valuable thoughts noted on paper materials.

总体可以，语言方面比我强多了，有些细节还可以想得深点。