argument4 *自由女神小组第七次作业*

wonderfullnameUID: 2208232

Argument4 Forestville Speed LimitSix months ago the region of Forestville increased the speed limit for vehicles traveling on the region's highways by ten miles per hour.  Since that change took effect, the number of automobile accidents in that region has increased by 15 percent.  But the speed limit in Elmsford, a region neighboring Forestville, remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly during the same six-month period.  Therefore, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region's highways, they should campaign to reduce Forestville's speed limit to what it was before the increase.
Conclusion: Forstville should reduce the speed limit to what it was before the increase, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region’s highways.
1.      提速导致交通事故增多没有直接的因果关系，就像作者提到的Elmsford的限速没有变，交通事故却减少了。
2.      假使提高限速会对交通事故有影响，但是否还有其他的因素导致交通事故增加。（如新手增多，不遵守交通的人增加，而Elmsford，使用交通工具的人减少等）
3.      设想速度对Elmsford的交通事故率有影响，在Forestville是否会产生同样的效果。因为两地区的人口数，司机的水平，路矿也许不一样。

The speaker claims that increasing the speed limit induces to the increasing number of automobile accidents during the last six months, so only through reducing the speed limit to its original level can change the situation.

First, there is no direct cause and effect between speed limit and the number of automobiles accidents considering it is highways which no people walk on it. Moreover, just like the speaker selves said, speed limit in Elmsford remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly. If increasing speed limit increases the number of accidents, equally, keeping the speed limit should make the number of accidents unchanged.

Therefore, the speaker asserted the effect of speed limit without considering any other factor. For instance, the number of green hands may become rising during the six months, large number of people traveled to this region but cannot follow the traffic rules and induce to the traffic accidents, and drivers may become less careful when following the new traffic criterion. However, the situation of Elmsford may be contary, people were likely to stay home and not usually used the traffic transportation during the same time.  

Providing that speed limit has effect in the Elmsford, it can not assert that reducing the speed limit to what it was before will do work in Forestville. Considering the elements of topographic, population, and the level of drivers. Furthermore, why Forestville need reduce the speed to the original speed limit, these is no evidence confirms that original speed limit is the best and most safety one.

Meanwhile, the number of automobile accidents in Forestville has increased by 15 percent which the speaker gives us is very skeptical. Because we can not understand whether the statistic is calculated by scientific method. We should figure out when he or she compared these numbers whether took into consideration the changing number of drivers. If the accidents happened more accompany with the increasing number of drivers, while the increasing rate of accidents less than of drivers, actually, the situation of traffic improved.

To sum up, even if Forestville reduces its speed limit to what it was before the increase, it may have little effect on the reduction of the number of automobile accidents considering the increasing number of green hander or some other changing elements, even the bad weather.

[ 本帖最后由 wonderfullname 于 2007-1-28 23:36 编辑 ]

monkeydluffyUID: 2277631

The speaker claims that increasing the speed limit induces to the increasing number of automobile

accidents during the last six months, so only through reducing the speed limit to its original

level can change the situation.[这里感觉应该把论据和假设列一下，最后再加上一句再加上作者犯了什么

什么错误，可以根据模板来]

First, there is no direct cause and effect between speed limit and the number of

automobiles[automobile] accidents considering it is highways[注意单复数和前面的is应该对应] which

no people walk on it[it which重复的吧，建议改为on which there are no people]. Moreover, just like

the speaker selves [selves？]said, speed limit in Elmsford remained unchanged, and automobile

accidents declined slightly. If increasing speed limit increases the number of accidents,

qually[qually？], keeping the speed limit should make the number of accidents unchanged.[最后一句

感觉不太舒服，建议不要总是用动名词做主语，可以说the increase of speed limit][这一段有个很大的问题

就是你的中心句是不是第一句？如果是的话后面的内容跟中心句无关，要不就是没有中心句。另外，作者不应

该把这种可有可无的错误放在最前面。]

Therefore, the speaker asserted the effect of speed limit without considering any other factor.

For instance, the number of green hands may become rising[去掉become,rising 改为rise] during the

six months, [；]large number of people traveled[时态应该和前面一句对应] to this region but cannot

follow the traffic[不遵守交通规则可以说disobey the rule] rules and [主语呢？]induce to the

traffic accidents, and drivers may become less careful when following the new traffic criterion.[

这句话作者没有说透感觉就是你想当然的] However, the situation of Elmsford may be contary, people

were likely to stay home and not usually used the traffic transportation during the same time.[还

是感觉没有中心句，第一句以therefore 开头，不是表明你第一段根本没说完么？]  

Providing that speed limit has effect in the Elmsford, it can not assert that reducing the speed

limit to what it was before will do work in Forestville. Considering the elements of topographic,

population, and the level of drivers.[要展开说] Furthermore, why Forestville need reduce the

speed to the original speed limit, these[there] is no evidence confirms[confirming] that original

speed limit is the best and most safety one. [最后一句太笼统了，等于没说，而且和本段中心句基本上

没关系]

Meanwhile, the number of automobile accidents in Forestville has increased by 15 percent which

the speaker gives us is very skeptical[这句话有着明显的语法错误]. Because we can not understand

whether the statistic is calculated by scientific method. We should figure out when he or she

compared these numbers whether took into consideration the changing number of drivers. If the

accidents happened more accompany with the increasing number of drivers, while the increasing

rate of accidents less than of drivers, actually, the situation of traffic improved.[这一段得好好

改改，感觉看不懂，而且你不应该怀疑数据的准确性，你要怀疑的是这个数据作为论据是不是够充分，虽然展

开时都会说这个数据到底怎么来的，方法是不是够科学等等问题，但是切入点还是要注意。]

To sum up, even if Forestville reduces its speed limit to what it was before the increase, it may

have little effect on the reduction of the number of automobile accidents considering the

increasing number of green hander or some other changing elements, even the bad weather.[应该加上

建议性的语句，参照摸板]

[作者的思路是清晰的，但是应该把问题阐述地更清晰一些，让人一目了然你攻击的是那几个错误，另外表达上

还需进一步努力，有些地方感觉太chinglish。总之大家一起加油！！！]