Issue93 问题文章详细点评 by imong

hattyUID：141246

Issue93"The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making."

The concept of ‘individual responsibility’ has been emphasized by our society, and has even become an indication of people’s maturation. Ever since childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood, people have been taken all kinds of individual responsibilities. The speaker assert that the concept of ‘individual responsibility’ is a nessary fiction, however, I believe though there do exist lots of restraints that can influence people’s behavior, people’s actions are primarily determined by themselves, according to their individual responsibilities, which are necessary to every single human being and the whole society. 2:45

It is human’s nature to lead a unserious life and treat things at one’s pleasure. That is why ‘individual responsibility’ is a necessity concept which involves both the liability to be acquired to give account, as of one’s action or of the discharge of a duty or trust and the answerableness for one’s behavior. The absence of either part in people’s deep heart will reduce them to deal with their work with ease. Moreover, when they encounter some difficulties, they will give up the unsolved problems and turn to something easier. As a result, without ‘individual responsibility’ people will become aimless and the society will come into a state of chaos. So the society should emphasize the concept and hold individuals accoutable for their own actions.

Obviously,(Admittedly?) our goal can not always be obtained merely with full consciousness of individual responsibility. Another thing has to be taken into consideration, that is the exterior situation. Exterior situations, among which some even appear as preconditions, can strongly influence people’s deed. For one example, poverty is a crucial factor that may keep many poor children from school, and may lead to their loss of the opportunity of getting formal education, which is a disvantage for their future career. For another example, a good hearing ability is almost essential to a composure who exerts his/her talent to produce pieces of pleasant melody. Such forces may often influence people’s behavior and need to be taken into consideration when people carry on everyday agendas.

However, while exterior situations can wield some influence, with many people following their inclinations, there also exist lots of people who behave regardless of the outsides. And many of them even become very successful. What are their secret weapons? Individual responsibility. Individual responsibilities serve as impetus and motivations  for people to carve out, to conquer the possible difficulties and make progress. Moreover, it is people’s ‘individual responsibility’ that determines people’s behavior. Due to their diverse extent of individual responsibilities held in their hearts, different people may act variously when facing the same conditions. Forces from outside which seem strong can only give mediocrities the excuse for ordinary life and cover up the kernal of the issue. Does poverty can impede all people from accomplishment in their future ? Lincoln, who only received up to one year’s school education because of poverty, hold individual responsibility himself and taught himself knowledge. He had led the civil way of the war between the states to emamcipate the slave, and at last become the 16th President of the United State.  Beethoven, the famous composure, even after lost of his precious hearing ability, had conquered many difficulties and created the glorious and outstanding symphonies of the Hero, Fate. So there is no such insurmountable difficultity and so called forces that determine people’s behavior. The way ahead looks so winding, the circumstances seems so complex, even intricate, that one can only be determined by the individual responsibility, not only in oneself, but also in the meaning and importance of one’s career.

In sum, forces for outside can exert influence on people’s behavior, but it is individual responsibility that determines it. The concept of individual responsibility is necessary for the progress of oneself and the whole society, and should be propagandized throughout the world.

各位看官多给意见建议，任何写的不好和想的不恰当的地方，望大家狠狠的拍～～

另外，谁有什么现成的翻译好的语言也好的例子，可以往文章中直接用的呢？我实在是对着小山似的中文例子没有办法翻译了。。。

谢谢各位xdjm！～

hattyUID：141246

终于,我的第三篇问世了,呵呵,一个月一篇的速度,让不少xdjm替偶捏把汗…而我自己倒是不慌不忙,昨天下午和晚上出去疯玩到夜里12点50才到宿舍,又bbs上水了一把,才在2点钟收拾停当,睡觉…

然而，心理压力却大的很,毕竟,这次是最后的机会,如果我不想浪费一年时间毕业以后还考GRE的话。我不能拿自己的青春和在学校很好的机会当玩笑。但是,我玩起来还是什么都不想,而且对于玩,基本来者不拒.矛盾~~疑惑~~可能真是好朋友说的那样吧,自己喜欢搞科研,却耐不住寂寞,真是很大的矛盾。。。

hatty努力想办法调和矛盾～～

anyway，第三篇还是写的很认真，从8月31日开题，想提纲，不断的改，今天上午10点半起来后把例子加进去，过了十几天了。其实，我不太会写例子，这几个例子因为找不到合适的语言，所以一直没有把文章写好发上来，又借机多玩了几天。今天不管了，随便涂几笔，凑上例子。again，各位看官多给意见建议，还有有没有什么现成的翻译好的语言也好的例子，可以往文章中直接用的呢？我实在是对着小山似的中文例子没有办法翻译了。。。

另外，上一次，关于文章逻辑，行文和论述重点的问题，我又仔细想了很久imong和鬼谷子等等的意见，感觉收获很大，这次这方面我很努力的改了改，不知道现在怎么样了？

不多说了，先看文章吧～～～ :p

hattyUID：141246

先谢谢pooh和lake的仔细批改！～

我先把提纲放上来吧——
观点：部分同意，个人责任是necessary的，但是不是fiction。个人责任可以决定个人行为。

b1，是必须的，人在社会上必须有责任感。对个人，对社会。
b2，外力太大，所以现实条件下实现不了，所以seem  一个fiction， 比如贫穷，比如一些外界的条件某种程度上影响人们的行为。
b3，人是很强的，不应该屈服外力。本质上，根本上不是由于外力大，而是由于我们自身弱小。所以个人责任可以决定个人行为。面对贫穷，贫穷也可以成就坚韧的个性，塑造伟人。。。

结论，我们应该结合实际，让条件为我所用，充分发挥责任。（但是，我实在写不下去了，所以结尾没有怎么写）


讨论：pooh，1，according to 我想表述的“根据”这样的意思，或者说我的观点就是个人责任可以决定个人行为，那么这样用可以么？
2 b1开始，我想说‘不负责任，随心所欲干事情’，于是查字典， at one’s pleasure＝随心所欲。。。而下一句liability以后都是抄金山糍粑的定义，汗～～
3

这段缺少实例，整篇晦涩的解释，不如加一个确切的例子说明你的意思。我认为如果你把重点放在个人不负责任导致的社会不安上更好

我就是愁举例子,sigh~~怎么解决呢?pooh有没有好点的办法?
4 后面的贝多芬什么的例子,我凑出来的,汗again~~开始还想同b2形成照应的那种很cool的结果...但是写出来就变了味

lake:
个人认为责任不是为了激励而是为了限制。责任不是成功的一种手段。
你这个理解...我开始没有想清楚,好像的确比我的好很多啊!
2 moreover以后是TS,你看这样好么?
3 看来你是同意原题前半句做个基础，再来论述个人责任决定人们行为？？
是的,我开始想这样写的,提纲见上.
4 如果你的作文在习作区里有的话,我搜着看看~~

again,谢谢pooh和lake!~

hattyUID：141246

555~~我上来了。。。

要不是大家的提醒，我还觉得这篇写的不错呢。。。

sigh～～研究研究。。。希望来得及 :p