GRE作文6分教学博客

tesolchinaUID：2191404

锤先森G330 发表于 2015-8-29 13:18
老师我觉得您这里说捐款这个因素不太合适于这个题目。因为题目一开始已经指出了the majority of money sp ...

In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend—the city-run public schools—comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools—even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.

你要注意这道题最终的结论是什么
Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do.
这里关注的是当地居民对公立教育的重视程度
原文的假设是政府投入越多越能体现重视 但是居民未必能左右政府的投入 以及 居民可能通过其他形式来支持教育 这里的其他形式可以包括捐款 和 义工
这里的重点不在于钱的多少而是在于态度 态度是可以通过捐款的踊跃程度和数量看出来的  

tesolchinaUID：2191404

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1878406-1-1.html

家住GALLIFERY

四分小白也不好说什么啦
1.用过《新GRE5.5》《作文大讲堂》《拯救我的GRE ISSUE》《拯救我的GRE argument》都觉得挺坑的，他们都没有严格按照作文的instruction来写提纲，所以可以用来作参考，但是并不适合直接用。
2.看完这些书其实并不知道AW到底怎么写，直到看到了寄托作文板块里面王老师的6分作文教学博客才茅塞顿开。老师的范文也要认真看，严格按照Instruction来写的而且并没有佶屈聱牙的句子，很平易近人。强烈推荐！！！一定要看！！

tesolchinaUID：2191404

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1876939-1-3.html

94阿童木

回忆一下AW提分的原因吧
虽然我感觉自己这次二战作文没付出多少（相比V），但是也是下了一定功夫的，再加上楼主作文底子还凑合吧不需要解决句子语法这种基础问题（小小的自恋一下大神绕行……四级583，六级554，去年8月一战托福裸考作文25）AW4.0也许不是偶然。

首先，我很认真地读了sherry版主的这篇帖子
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... st%3D1%26digest%3D1
这个帖子很大程度上鼓舞了我，让我深深地相信短时间内提高AW不是梦！
另外，https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1073950-1-1.html
这篇也是我的一颗定心丸！让我深深意识到好好准备Argument还有阅读OG范文的重要性。

看完鸡汤，我开始行动了。
1.读完OG Argument 3-6分的范文和评语，每一篇都认真做了分析
QQ截图20150901124945.png

2.把高频的issue和argument挑出来，一篇一篇看Simon老师的范文！不得不说老师真的很赞！虽然没有参加simon老师的小组，但是我们都是看Simon范文长大的孩子 能考出AW4.0老师范文功不可没！！
【强推教学博客】https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1777232-1-1.html（可能很多人都知道了）
看范文的时候我也是把文章粘贴到印象笔记里，一篇一篇像上面那样分析结构，有时候还会自己去总结老师的行文思路写在旁边。
好文章看多了心里大概就明白是怎么回事了。我把好文章概括为清晰的思路+严谨的逻辑+合适的例子。

3.看了20篇文章之后，我开始自己写提纲了，issue是分类挑出高频的写，考前把每个分类的高频作文思路都整理在一个文档里。argument是根据simon老师范文的常用结构按照不同的instruction，我结合自己的一些想法总结出自己的argument模板。简单粗暴~

tesolchinaUID：2191404

wuhanlin21 发表于 2015-9-8 16:48
老师，我是来感谢一下的！虽然没有很明显的向你讨教，但是我花了半个月每天四五个小时看你写的这些文章和范 ...

感谢鼓励
我的GRE作文书争取明年能面世
主要是方便大家看我的范文  

tesolchinaUID：2191404

Talagh 发表于 2015-9-4 22:45
老师，题目好像是达成了自己的目标才算成功，不是符合社会需求才算成功吧

所以我的观点是不同意啊

tesolchinaUID：2191404

昨天教师节在微信群里收到好多寄托同学的祝福，好开心。恰好昨天开始试用workflowy，一种简易的列表工具，有兴趣的同学可以试试，https://workflowy.com/invite/3147a9d6.emlx  
利益相关：点击以上链接并注册可帮助自己和我获得额外的容量。  

tesolchinaUID：2191404

Argument177) The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.

"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers.”  

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

ground/ data: no hobby shop in the area according to the research
g/d: 88% of those who responded - welcome the opening of a hobby shop
g/d: in the area the hobby business has increased by 300%
g/d: large number of retirees with ample time for hobbies
claim: choose Grilldon as the site

questions about the attitudes of the residents
- response rate (if the rate is low, the attitudes of those who do not respond remain unknown)  
- will they spend money in the hobby shop (welcome <> consume)
- what about residents in adjacent areas (are they interested)  

questions about the hobby business growth in the region
- is the increase related to residents that the proposed hobby shop can serve
- is the business growth related to hobby shops (perhaps the online hobby business is the main driver)
- what was the increase in the past 2-3 years (will the trend continue)  

questions about the retirees
- are the retirees willing to spend money in the hobby shop (perhaps they have other hobbies that do not require a visit to a hobby shop)
- do they really have a lot of spare time (maybe they need to babysit their grandchildren or they attend community colleges for continuing education)
- are they physically fit to visit the shop

tesolchinaUID：2191404

Argument176)The following appeared as part of an article in a Dillton newspaper.
"In an effort to bring new jobs to Dillton and stimulate the city's flagging economy, Dillton's city council voted last year to lower the city's corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, the city began offering generous relocation grants to any company that would move to Dillton. Since these changes went into effect, two new factories have opened in Dillton. Although the two factories employ more than 1,000 people, the unemployment rate in Dillton remains unchanged. The only clear explanation for this is that the new factories are staffed with out-of-town workers rather than Dillton residents."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

fact to be explained: unemployment rate remains unchanged
explanation: new factories hire out-of-town workers  
other facts: corporate tax rate lowered; relocation grants
other alternative explanations

unemployment rate is the number of workers out of job over the total workforce

Job loss due to tax cut  
- as a result of tax cut, the city government may have to reduce its expenditure; as a result, fewer jobs are available in the government and other organisations relying on government funding
- the job loss in public sector may lead to less consumption which reduces the jobs available in the private sector

Job loss due to relocation grants
- relocation grants may attract factories that compete against the local factories for resources, business opportunities and workers
- local factories may have to lay off some workers
- part of the 2000 workers hired by the new factories may come from the local factories

lack of skills of the local workers
- the local workers especially those that are jobless may not have the appropriate skills demanded by the new factories
- which explains why the factories are staffed by out-of-town workers
- hiring out-of-town workers is not the ultimate reason

increasing number of people seeking jobs  
- due to the poor economy, more people seek for jobs
- stay home mums need to work as the husbands could not make enough money  
- students did not get offers to graduate schools and join the workforce  

  

tesolchinaUID：2191404

最近这段时间由于学校的教学和写博士论文任务较重，较少点评版友的作文。https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1873272-1-1.html 这个帖子上的文章我还会抽时间看。其他途径如微信等发给我的习作我可能就没时间看了。最重要的还是看我在论坛上写的范文，从中总结规律和技巧，然后自己模仿。希望发给我的习作是在学习、模仿和思考的基础上完成的。 而不是凭自己的想象写出来的。

tesolchinaUID：2191404

有没有可能建一个wiki的环境进行GRE写作学习？
初步的想法是为每一道issue和argument的题目建一个wiki页面 这个任务可以用程序来完成
然后在针对这道题的页面上可以有一个section链接到范文，包括ETS的，我的还有其他高分版友的
再下一个section就是链接到版友的习作  每一个新建立习作链接都要去编辑反馈上一层的文章
与此同时可以针对不同的写作问题建页面 在反馈的时候可以链接到这个页面去

tesolchinaUID：2191404

bettershady 发表于 2015-9-18 17:14
老师， 能否再写篇文章，对比一下你的方法和那本GRE写作5.5？
很多同学的写作入门书都是那一本，但是也有 ...

谢谢你的建议 我会抽时间再好好看看5.5 希望能客观的指出这本书的价值和不足之处

tesolchinaUID：2191404

fishay 发表于 2015-9-18 21:11
老师你好！我想请教一下，据说新G的ARGU必须写够6个反驳点才能拿6分，是这样吗？可是写6个需要6段吗？一般没 ...

汗 你可以看看我的考场回忆 写4个应该差不多了吧

tesolchinaUID：2191404

晹城 发表于 2015-9-18 13:51
感觉内容和寄托上差不多，用wiki是为了建一个更大的平台吗？
我觉得用wiki的话可以再加入每个题目可用例 ...

我觉得只要是方便修改以及记录修改的内容 目前论坛的界面并不适合修改
我有编辑的权限还好说 其他版友要修改就不太方便  
另外也不方便加tag  
比如在具体楼层加tag

tesolchinaUID：2191404

guxinhui 发表于 2015-9-23 11:49
老师对于这个issue我是这样写的:
TS： Imposing limits will work for certain extent, but a much be ...

你的T1和T2明显矛盾啊

tesolchinaUID：2191404

要求ETS给出issue和argument的具体分数以及返还考场作文是我酝酿多年的想法，这涉及到对考试制度重新认识。考试不仅仅是检测的工具，也应该成为教学的工具。如果认同考试的教学功能，则试题、分数和考场作文都应该公开、透明，这样学生才能从考试中思考、反省、学习、进步。
这里发起的签名活动，尽管目前版友的反应平淡，但是作为一件长远的工程，值得坚持！
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1881747-1-1.html