Issue53-If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.

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王老师好，我分了战争、和平经商、和平政治三个方面讨论，写了以下提纲，还请评点，多谢！

53. If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

TS (pt1, pt2, pt3): Some assert that people should achieve their own valuable goals via any method, yet the credo expressed in their statement is only applicable during the wartime. When human beings want to peacefully do business one another and realize their political aims, they must not be too unscrupulous.

你把别人的观点和自己的观点放在一句话里用yet隔开有点不清晰
credo这个词好像不太合适
with one another
realize和aim搭配有问题


ts (pt1): First of all, since war itself is the most ruthless and brutal way to deal with the conflicts among countries or groups of people, the triumph over the enemies can justify any measures adopted to attain it.  在战争中人类是疯狂的，为了获得战争的胜利，人们可以运用一切手段。例如，欺诈向来为人们所不齿，然而Operation Mincemeat, launched in 1943, was one of the most successful wartime deceptions ever attempted. Masterminded by Charles Cholmondeley and Ewen Montagu, the plan involved the dead body of a tramp and a plethora of faked documents. By convincing the Germans that the Allies planned to attack Greece instead of Sicily, they helped change the course of World War Two.在反法西斯战争中，英国人的这次欺诈却被人津津乐道，因为不骗纳粹德国，英国战败也许导致后来整个自由世界的沦陷，各国人民都会生活在纳粹的铁蹄之下。由此可见，在战争当中题目的观点可行。



ts (pt2): However, once an individual or a company want to make profits in the age of peace, she or it needs to obey certain rules and to abandon some means. 在和平年代，个人与公司都有盈利的目的，大笔的收益对他们来说绝对是值得的。然而他们得文明地按规矩办事，否则相关法规会让他们事与愿违。比如台湾地沟油丑闻里的那些企业主，为了省成本用了地沟油来加工食品，一时间达到了提高利润的目的，可当东窗事发之日，一个个被判刑入狱，还交了大笔罚金，得不偿失。那么在人类正常的商业运转里，不能不择手段。



ts (pt3): Furthermore, some methods themselves may impair the achieving of a group or an organization’s political goals, so the group or organization cannot unscrupulously pursue its aim. 比如FBI官员认为“生态恐怖主义”对美国的威胁犹胜当年本拉登。一些环保组织，像Greenpeace等，为了保护环境，促进和平，采取了焚毁转基因试验田、冲撞捕鱼船等暴力手段，这些手段本身就违背了和平的原则，因此他们的目的就难以达到。反之，例如The Burmese Peace Prize Laureate Aung San Suu Kyi，她想促进缅甸的民主进步，就用民主进步的文明和平方式，就算缅甸现在还没有彻底民主，但对和平理性的追求已经深入人心，为以后的民主铺好了路。所以，在和平政治当中，就需要用和平手段，而非一切手段。


method后面跟反身代词有点不恰当
第三个点涉及的范畴没有说清楚
缅甸领袖的例子有点离题
感觉你第二点的主要干货是违法的事不能做  但第三点就没有干货了

总的来说 框架结构挺好

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王老师好，我按照您的意见修改了一下自己的大纲，分战争、商业、国家建设三个方面讨论，请再次评点，多谢！

53. If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

TS (pt1, pt2, pt3): Some assert that people should achieve their own valuable goals via any method. However, the principle expressed in their statement is only applicable during the wartime. When human beings want to peacefully do business with one another and succeed in their national economic construction, they must not be too unscrupulous.

national economic construction表达有问题
总的来说我对你的第一段不是很满意 感觉你的paraphrase离题目距离有点远
If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.

The statement proposes a pragmatic approach to solving problems in different areas. I believe that in most endeavours such as running for-profit businesses and making economic policies, only ethically acceptable and politically sensible means should be adopted.  In exceptional circumstances such as warfare, one may take any measures that are necessary to achieve the goals.

我倾向将战争放到最后讲 因为这属于特例或例外 是你的观点中不那么重要的部分


ts (pt1): First of all, since war itself is the most ruthless and brutal way to deal with the conflicts among countries or groups of people, the triumph over the enemies can justify any measures adopted to attain it.  在战争中人类是疯狂的，为了获得战争的胜利，人们可以运用一切手段。例如，欺诈向来为人们所不齿，然而Operation Mincemeat, launched in 1943, was one of the most successful wartime deceptions ever attempted. Masterminded by Charles Cholmondeley and Ewen Montagu, the plan involved the dead body of a tramp and a plethora of faked documents. By convincing the Germans that the Allies planned to attack Greece instead of Sicily, they helped change the course of World War Two.在反法西斯战争中，英国人的这次欺诈却被人津津乐道，因为不骗纳粹德国，英国战败也许导致后来整个自由世界的沦陷，各国人民都会生活在纳粹的铁蹄之下。由此可见，在战争当中题目的观点可行。

ts (pt2): However, once an individual or a company want to make profits in the age of peace, she or it needs to obey certain rules and to abandon some means. 在和平年代，个人与公司都有盈利的目的，大笔的收益对他们来说绝对是值得的。然而他们得文明地按规矩办事，否则相关法规会让他们事与愿违。比如台湾地沟油丑闻里的那些企业主，为了省成本用了地沟油来加工食品，一时间达到了提高利润的目的，可当东窗事发之日，一个个被判刑入狱，还交了大笔罚金，得不偿失。那么在人类正常的商业运转里，不能不择手段。



ts (pt3): Furthermore, some means may impede the process of promoting economic development, so a government cannot unscrupulously pursue its aim of economic construction. One of the most relevant instances conjured up in my mind is the "Great Leap Forward" project in China. From 1958, Chinese Chairman Mao Zedong launched this movement in order to accelerate the pace of industrialization in China. The People’s Republic of China then was an economy mainly pillared by agriculture, and thus to industrialize it was a worthy goal. Nevertheless, the chairman motivated all residents of mainland China to participate in the campaign, and even sacrificed the agriculture to promote industry. As a result, his decision immediately led to shortage of grains at the end of 1959, and the next three years witnessed the starvation of thirty million of Chinese. Therefore, we can recognize that to employ certain methods for the goal of economic development is likely to be counterproductive and the policy maker needs to think twice about how to accomplish the goals of construction.

这个例子不合适
题目的意思是未达目的不择手段 潜台词是这个手段是可行的 能达到目的 但是这个手段存在道德伦理等方面的问题
而大跃进根本就是失败的手段

或许一胎制可以写一下