0706G同主题写作第三期——Issue177

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

本期同主题写作选取了在2月机井中出现两次的Issue177，此题在2006年9月5日之前的机井中出现过49次，排名13。希望能通过本次同主题写作活动为大家打开思路，在遇到此题时顺利过关。

要求：

1，文章在版面上开新帖子，回帖里面只发文章链接，并且要求附上中英文提纲，至少有中文提纲。发帖格式必须符合要求

2，发作文版友依次修改下一楼层版友的作文，例如：#1修改#2； #2修改#3； #3楼修改#4……遇上版主或者没有发文章的楼层，跳到下一个，其它欢迎版友自行结对子修改

177 "The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes."

翻译：对于一门学科的研究会改变我们对世界的看法。在学习这门学科之后，我们看到的世界一如既往，但是我们本身的角度和眼光已然不同。

Keywords:

perceive

perceive
per.ceive
v.tr.（及物动词）
per.ceived， per.ceiv.ing， per.ceives

1) To become aware of directly through any of the senses, especially sight or hearing.
意识到：通过任何一种感官，尤指视觉或听觉等直接意识到

2) To achieve understanding of; apprehend.See Synonyms at see 1
理解：获得对…的理解；理解参见 see1

因为是通过学习来获得知识，那么这里对于perceive的理解自然就是2）

discipline

discipline
dis.ci.pline

n.（名词）
1) Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.
训练；修养；磨练：为有某一特定性格或行为方式而进行的训练，尤指为在道德和智力上的进步改善而进行的训练

2) Controlled behavior resulting from disciplinary training; self-control.
自制：遵守纪律训练而养成的克制行为；自控

3) Control obtained by enforcing compliance or order.
规律，纪律：由履行命令、依从而形成的克制

4) A systematic method to obtain obedience:
风纪：学会服从的系统方法：
a military discipline.
军纪

5) A state of order based on submission to rules and authority:
秩序：在服从规则、上司的基础上秩序的状态：
a teacher who demanded discipline in the classroom.
一位要求在课堂上遵守纪律的老师

6) Punishment intended to correct or train.
惩罚，处罚：为改正或训练而惩罚

7) A set of rules or methods, as those regulating the practice of a church or monastic order.
教规，戒律：一套规则或做法，如教堂或寺院里规定的教规戒律

8) A branch of knowledge or teaching.
学科；科目：知识或教学的分支

与academic搭配，故为学术学科，这个也没有什么好争议的。

本题的题干结构为Issue常见的论断+补充解释的形式，第一句提出论点，第二句具体化论点的内容，这样可以防止写作者在论证角度上对于perceive the world出现不同的理解。这种结构类似于GRE笔试填空题目中的前后同义近义对应，即“alter the way we perceive the world”和“with different eyes”是同一个意思，而出现这种变化的原因就是study of academic discipline。另外题中还存在了前提，即世界不变，个人知识在变。

"The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes."

在redhobor的分类中，此题归到学习类中，个人认为此题可以认为是学习与哲学话题的结合，因为它以学习为前提，讨论的是认知世界的哲学话题。

可以采用的思路：

此题因为是涉及主观认知的话题，题目提供的观点具有很强的主观性，因此反面观点很难做到自圆其说，需要借助语言文字游戏来达到论证目的。

正面观点：

全盘支持题目论断，个人认为是最好写的观点，不用让步也可以达到很充分的论证。

1，专业学习让认掌握认识世界的技能，从而改变认识世界的方式。（外语，词源学，显微镜，望远镜，碳14测试，射电望远镜，超级计算机）

2，专业学习积累认识世界的理论依据，通过对世界的客观规则做出抽象而改变认识世界的方式。（哲学，心理学，物理学，化学，生物学，社会学）

3，专业学习培养人们的思维能力，从而改变认识世界的方式。（逻辑学，数学）

在这里我所列举的三个方面从具象到抽象，可以做到层层递进，当然缺点是论证范围过大，很难做到点到即止。所以仅供参考。

反面观点：

从前面的列举可以看出，正面观点很容易自圆其说，所以反面观点也就需要选择不同的论证角度和理解方式，还需要对正面观点先进行让步。

反面观点一：
角度在变，世界不变么？唯心主义哲学认为，世界的本源是人的思维。而近代哲学中也将人的认识从客观世界中剥离，认为只有结合人的认识去讨论对世界的认知才有意义（以语言为载体和研究对象，而不是直接讨论世界本身）。因此反面观点的一种思路可以是：
"The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world, and it alters the world itself as well."
这里可以采用一些近代哲学体系中的方法，先说明我们认识世界的目的是为了改变世界为我们创造更好的生活，而不仅仅是改变我们认识世界的手段。

反面观点二：
对于“The way we perceive the word”并没有一个明确的定义，这种理解因为是主观的，精神上的，所以它是否改变并不取决于知识的改变，相反，它却能决定人们接受知识的方式。这里可以采用一种反面观点：
"The study of an academic discipline is determined by the way we perceive the world. Although the discipline can use the knowledge to influence our way to perceive the world, the counteract may be a more important issue."


在这里提供这些思路的目的是为了强调，ISSUE是开放式题目，写成什么样子都可以，这三条思路各有优点，侧重点也各不相同，同样的，对于academic discipline，different eyes都可以展开正反的理解，从而得到个性化的观点，而了解了题目之后，展开有效的论述才是最重要的环节。需要说明的是，反面观点由于需要对词语本身的解释进行讨论，很容易写得晦涩，这种情况需要尽量避免。


总体而言这道题并不是很难，考虑到之前的同主题活动并没做过这道题，而这个月的JJ出现了两次，所以把此题拿来给大家热身。


对于具体的论述我将选取回贴中的一篇习作进行批改后更新在二楼中，以个案的方式来讨论这道题具体论证中可能出现的问题。


参考资料：

对于perceive the world一些浅层次的分类，帮助大家来理解这个词：
http://home.cogeco.ca/~fherel/a_perceive.htm


一篇有关哲学如何改变人们认识世界方式的文章，语言和观点都可以参考：
http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/2006/05.25/03-siegel.html

对于认知人类学的介绍，可以作为一个比较有深度的论据：
http://www.mnsu.edu/emuseum/cultural/anthropology/Cognitive%20Anthropology.html


YAHOO上有关语言影响认知的讨论（底下那些讨论比较有技术含量，可以参考）：
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070205102337AAEMvMt



PS: 对于本主题中观点有异议的，欢迎讨论，也欢迎各位贴自己的习作，但记得帮别人改文章，这是个互惠互助的过程。请不要占座，灌水或者发布其它与本活动无关的内容，我会监督本贴的回帖质量。谢谢合作。

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

正面观点文章示例
红色为原文有问题的地方
蓝色为我的批注
原贴地址：http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-605185-1-1.html
习作作者：alive1986

Anyone has his or her own extent to perceive the world, deep or surface, vague or explicit. The views about the world (Such views 与前文衔接，简洁为好) are based on their own knowledge about academic disciplines, people with more knowledge may understand the world more clearly.(这里的因果关系并不强烈, 前面在说不同的人知识不同而眼光不同, 后面却直接跳到了同一人知识不同眼光不同, 对于"studying academic disciplines"这个概念并没有突出, 由于你重复的部分还是作者用了比喻的那句, 所以这种关系就更加隐晦了. 主题句中需要加入从句对"different eyes"进行解释.) So I strongly agree with the author's point of view that through studying academic disciplines, we can see the same world with different eyes. Before we study academic discipline(s), we can only see the phenomena (what phenomena?) just on surface, but after learning such discipline, we have the ability to understand the principle(what principle? reason? relation? 具体解释) of the phenomena and can see things deeply.(作为主题句而言缺乏补充, 直接从论点跳到论据, 缺少了论证, 这样不利于别人了解你这个论点的出发点, 为什么只能看到表面现象? 学术知识如何让我们看到深层次? 应该说明: 学术知识的研究范围, 没有学术知识的人认识世界的方式等等) For example, without the knowledge about the law of relative motion, hardly can we sense that how funny (这词用得不太妥当, 后面也看不出是funny, 只是错误而已) we had thought before. Formerly, when we were in a car and saw things out of the window were moving, we might consider that they were really motive. Yet now, we are finally wise up the fact that the things moving is just because the car moving, we put the car as the reference. With this law, motion and quiescence are contacted together, moreover, from this theory, Marx summarized an important philosophical principle, which can help people to realize the world and human more explicit. (划线这句过于泛泛, 运动定律的好处解释得并不完全, 特别是没有对应到surface, deep, alter the way, perceive the world这些关键词上, 故显得缺乏说服力.) And the study of an academic discipline not only can deep our thoughts, but also has the ability to alter our angle of seeing the same case, and in this way, to be helpful for the society.(前后逻辑关系不明, 前面在说视角, 后面跳到了因无知而恐惧, 这二者得关系是?) Sometimes, we are afraid of something just for our ignorance.(对于主题句展开得不够而且不恰当, 什么视角? 它们与深度的区别是什么? 跟无知造成恐惧又有什么关系? 都缺乏说明, 这时引用例子, 例子也会显得支持点不明而无所适从.) Here we can cite a normal phenomenon as an example. Many people fear death, as for them, that is inacceptable. Actually, people who have studied principle of biology are able to know that death is merely a usual thing of the nature, just as an ordinary flu for people. In this case, with the academic disciplines, we can see death in a completely different angle (what angle? 这里说得并不明确, 也看不出和deep and surface的区别) and solve many problems existing in the society, such as finding a kind of medicine which can make people live forever (这个能算是solve social problems么? 人都不死了恐怕社会问题才会更加严重吧...). People's opinions are the signal about the standard of society (这句太晦涩了, signal指什么? standard是指什么? 跟之前的角度又有什么关系?), if all people have a calm and scientific attitude for anything, it is possible for the society to develop with a rapid pace. (总的来说这段的定位不够明确, 因为采用什么样的角度跟认识到怎样的深度严格来讲并没有太明显的差异, 论证的时候需要小心区分, 结果你却没有区分开来, 所以这段的论述就显得没有方向, 到最后又说到态度上去了. 这段与body第一段可以说是内容有所重叠, 我们可以说, 从学术的角度来认识事物就是把事物认识得更深入更正确才对.) In addition, it is likely for us to foresee the trend of development in the field of such discipline correctly due to plenty information about it. The earth has developed from only a planet (现在就不是a planet了么? 从后面写的来看这里应该是uncivilized planet) to today's beautiful hometown, including many creations and inventions (发生创造? 跟美丽家园又有什么关系? 所指不清, 用manmade wonders and implements这种具象的词指代会比较好). Such creations and inventions must base on the study of relative academic discipline. Such as with the physical knowledge about the air, we could invent plane; with the chemic information about the nuclear, we had the ability to invent nuclear weapon.(主题句与例证不对应. 主题句在说我们可以预知未来的发展, 例子却在说新发明新创造, 这是在改变而不是预知, 二者的逻辑关系断裂. 对于例证的事物也缺乏分析, plane如何改变世界, nuclear weapon如何改变世界, 用一两句同位语就可以说清楚) So everything in the modern world should inspire by the knowledge of relative discipline, with such discipline, we can see the same world with a long view or plan.(这段的论点比较独立, 但内部的论证却显得很凌乱, 论点得不到有力的支持, 也缺乏具体的解释.) Above all, academic disciplines are just like a key, to open the scientific gate and bring us a brighter world. With studying of academic disciplines, we can see the world deeply and explicitly, which is beneficial for us to understand and develop our society. And at the same time, we can use a scientific eye to measure existed deed, which may give us a healthier and better mood.

总评: 文章的语言过关, 层次比较清楚, 但在论证的过程中有很多问题: 1, 段落之间的结构关系不明确, 没有并列, 递进之类的逻辑关系, 也没有相互补充, 深入的联系, 每段与中心论点都缺乏点题的句子, 所以文章整体比较散乱. 2, 段落中的论证, 例证不能很好地发挥作用, 因为对它缺乏分析, 加上有些例子跟主题句本来就对不上, 结果是分论点也缺乏说服力. 3, 出现了很多指代不明的名词和说法, 象social problem, angle, 由于之后的例证也没有把它们说清楚, 所以使文章显得比较空泛.

这篇文章也反映出采用正面观点容易犯的错误:
1, 同总评中的1, 分论点间差异不清晰, 取的论点之间有相互的重合, 导致车轱辘话来回说, 不同的段落在说同一个问题
2, 对于academic descipline缺乏分析, 使文章缺乏深度. 通常情况下对于ISSUE中概念比较明确的元素我们可以采用直接使用的方法来处理, 但对于一些涉及到论证而概念比较庞大的元素, 就需要进行一定分析. 比如这里的academic descipline, 说明了它是干什么的才能论证它怎样改变我们看世界的角度.
3, 对于the same world没有对应, 没有强调认识改变而世界不变的对比. 这样导致的后果就是本文BODY第三部分中那样的例证偏离主题句的问题, 里面已经开始改变世界了, 但中心论点里世界还没变.

感谢alive1986同学的文章, 希望以上做的点评对大家都能有所帮助. 也希望各位看下别人的文章, 有什么优点该怎么学习, 有什么缺点该如何避免, 只有这样才能提高自己的作文水平, 单纯地埋头把习作写出来贴出来是没有什么意义地.

[ 本帖最后由 lastangel 于 2007-2-8 10:37 编辑 ]

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

再留一位好了
一正一反挑两篇

nostrumUID: 2124189

支持使徒版主漂亮的工作

算sofa

恋恋cz1984UID: 2206114

TOPIC: ISSUE177 - "The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes."
WORDS: 438          TIME: 上午 12:51:13          DATE: 2007-2-5
The author claims that the study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world.I agree with the author that after studying the subjects, people see the same world as before, but with different aspects.Truely, studying plays a vital role in the process of people's perceiving the world.

Firstly and basically, learing expands people's extent of knowledge. Thus study changes the way we observe the world. Study, which is the most vital way to know about the world, and which is the common habit of all the individuals, broadens our eyes. Let me cite an example to illustrate this point of view.Before one studies biology, he may just simply know that all the beings living in the earth are absolutely different from each other. Nevertheless, having learing biology, one may know that each kind of beings own their feature because of their surroundings. As bacon ever asserted that knowledge is power. It is learning that let us perceive the world more deeply and exactly. Imagine that all the study of academic disciplines disappears. How can we get to know the world we live in without study?

Secondly, learning different academic disciplines, people can observe and explore the world in any aspects when they need. When people receive education from all kinds of realms, say chemistry, maths, biology, etc, people get the capability to put all the knowledge together and form their own knowledge system. Because of this, observing the world seems interesting for human beings. Objects appears various when people see them with different eyes. Therefore, for certain phenomena we have different explanation.For example, the law of motion tells us why the apple falls at a changing speed while evolutionism gives the reason why the apple grows into such shape. That is to say, study of various disciplines enrich our world.

In addition, enough emphasis should be put on the study of a subject in order to arouse people's passion for learning. To attract people's attention, the study should avoid being boring. For the educators, the method of teaching calls for revolution. For the reaserchers, they should make sure that most people can understand their authorities. For the learners themselves, a habit of learning requires to be formed. In a word, we need try our best to learn, whenever and whevever we are.

To sum up, study is so crucial that no one can ignore it. I insist that  one should maitain the habit of learning through his life. In my observation, learning in the field of  academic discipline makes great contributions to all the human beings.It is learning that makes our life meaningful and colorful.

merryjeanUID: 2243650

hoho~~~
抢沙发，作文明天发，嘿嘿，等我哦
把我们组的都发一下
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-605185-1-1.html
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=603952&extra=page%3D1
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=605244&page=1&extra=page%3D1#pid1769676655
斑竹介意的不？
呵呵
南智二组滴

请分开发~
小组的帖子让小组成员自己发，因为我们是要按楼层安排大家互改的，不然会造成不方便。谢谢合作！
                                                                                                              ——KITO

[ 本帖最后由 kito9695 于 2007-2-8 10:22 编辑 ]

runningpiggyUID: 194977

UP....

5楼的别把文章发过来, 发链接就好..

kito9695UID: 209685

使徒辛苦了！

frontelf_leeUID: 2196238

我的文章：
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-606044-1-1.html


Outline: 完全赞成
1. Learning the tools to expand our ability of perceiving the world.
2 help us to grasp truth behind some phenomena
3.sharpen our skills of thinking , then we can look deep into the world than before.


期待修改，呵呵～～

[ 本帖最后由 frontelf_lee 于 2007-2-10 09:19 编辑 ]

ffwithggUID: 2298966

第一次发全文,谢谢修改
提纲:1.expands our ken and liberates our minds out of superstition.
2.explore the unknown once they have the opportunities
3.modifies our views of nature that seems changeless
4.value systems, religion, and belief will not be changed
正面观点三方面:破除迷信,探索世界,修正对事物的看法
反面:有些事物是不可能靠知识改变的

http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/viewth ... &extra=page%3D1

:loveliness:

susan8940UID: 160449

up

expire7UID: 2160574

辛苦哈

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

看到现在都是正面观点的
谁写篇反面来看看？

bluecoffeeUID: 2269264

1. The world is complex and full, so it is true that from different perspectives, we can get different cognitions of the same world. Every academic discipline provides a unique way of perceiving the world. By getting in touch with those theories and ideas, we not only understand the world better (clear;comprehensive), but also gain all kinds of knowledge to attain a better life (convenient;comfortable;happy).

2. Different academic disciplines can interact each other, and these interactions may bring about significant value (achievements from cross-disciplines). So by studying one discipline, we can gain fresh ideas from different perspective, and improve the current world.

3. Unavoidable, there are doubts and conflicts when different academic disciplines meet each other. On one hand, we should try to understand and accept other ways to perceive and explain the world, then conduct necessary amendment; On the other hand, we should keep the spirit of suspicion on a particular discipline. (Limitation; can not be perfect.)

把你文章的连接贴过来
                          ——KITO


不好意思啊，我写了提纲以后，觉得似乎是跑题了，想先请高手指点一下。

没有时间写全文了！我3月8号就考了，现在才刚刚开始看题库。
5555，绝望啊

[ 本帖最后由 bluecoffee 于 2007-2-10 22:10 编辑 ]

lictgUID: 2266929

http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/viewth ... &extra=page%3D1

一起努力!:)