进军美利坚作文10.16

shirley072UID：2712200

10.16 years from now, people will have more leisure time



    According to theleaped progression made in science and technology, productivity is lifted tosuch a high extent, which releases considerable labour force or converts themfrom the traditional handcraft industry to high-tech concentrated fields. Sincewe could accomplish the task efficiently with advanced work environments ordevices, not mention to the possible exceeding achievements beyond thatexpected, we deserve more leisure time for relax.

However, with accelerated worldwide development, increasing competition between companies act as a major impulsefactor, steering entrepreneurs to put up with various projects and measurescontaining more tasks, in order to help the companies stay in the proceedingrank. For most employees, more work contents are related to pressure. Here goesa saying, temperate pressure will give you a motivity. What if the pressuregoes so far? Have you ever seen that someone cannot bear the pressure any more?Let's take a look at the electrical filed, some people in HuaWei company choseto suicide by jumping from the high building, that is because they haveconstantly exposed to an intense settings with anxieties, pressure andwhatsoever upset emotions for a long time, which easily leaded to some terriblepsychiatric problems. So people should get more leisure time, with which theycould adjust themselves, deal with the emerging mental problems, enjoywonderful times without pressure. In addition, get a release from time to timewill keep your brain clearly, and be able to help you promote the workefficiency.

Lastly, I want to emphasis, somequarrels may break out between family members because of less leisure timespent together. You know that less time means less communication, which apt toresult to decreasing concern about each other, eventually, marriages slip todanger and divorces may happen. More leisure time is indeed needed!

shiwei83UID：2680950

Frankly speaking, both types of  movies attract me. Which one will be my first choice depends on my moods （最好删去that moment）. So, I probably select a comedic movie just for fun, and 删去the other side, may pick up a meaningful one to see through the world or humanity.（用词意思不清楚），

Along with the development of modern society, people get even harder work task, that means they opt easily to(同义重复) be tired. Worry, anxiety, tension influence people and torture their nerves. Then, what's a perfect way to release these pressure? Nowadays, most people prefer to go to movies to amuse themselves. In this situation, a movie which designed only for entertain is a wonderful choice. The key point is that the funny movie makes you laugh, and forget all the troublesome things even for a little while.

In the other word, movie is considered as an art work which originates from our life, and reflect our behavior. Watching a serious movie will make us concentrate, and provoke our similar or potential feelings. Take the movie, Crash, as an example. The main two characters with color bias perform two different ways in treating various emergency. This make us think about the deeper level of the personalities, and teach us that a man who superficially being kind is not always be a good guy when getting in trouble. Looking into the human history, thinking make us grow up and better in handling problems.

Finally, I want to emphasis that both movie are necessary because funny movies make us for free, and serious ones make us see throughourselves. I will choose to see either one suiting my feelings.

主要问题：
1.文章篇幅有些短，最好能300词以上
2.一般情况下，最好不要用折中的观点，因为这样会使你的写作重点不突出，可以参考一下范文，多用“一边倒”的写法。
3.你的文章结构不错，但是简单句居多，单词和句式还缺少变化。

yuminjiaUID：2659628

48# shirley072
12.23 Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?It’s better to watch serious movies that help people think than towatch movies that couldamuse and entertain people.3 x8 V) v3 k5 z) A

Frankly speaking, both types of  movies attract me. Which one will be my first choice depends on my moods that moment. So, I probably select a comedic movie just for fun, on the other side, and pick up a meaningful one to see through the world or humanity.

`Along with the development of modern society, people get even harder work task, which means they opt easily to be tired. Worry, anxiety, tension influence people and torture their nerves. Then, what's a perfect way to release these pressures? Nowadays, most people prefer to go to movies to amuse themselves. In this situation, a movie designed only for entertainment is a wonderful choice. The key point is that the funny movie makes you laugh and forget all the troublesome things even for a little while.

In the other word, movie is considered as an art work which originates from our life, and reflect our behavior. Watching a serious movie will make us concentrate, and provoke our similar or potential feelings. Take the movie, Crash, as an example. The main two characters with color bias perform two different ways in treating various emergencies. This make us think about the deeper level of the personalities, and teach us that a man who is a superficially being kind is not always (be) a good guy while getting in trouble. Looking into the human history, thinking makes us grow up faster and better in handling problems.# B% z. I, ~7 j# X

Finally, I want to emphasis that both movies are necessary because funny movies make us for free, and serious ones make us see through ourselves. I will choose to see either one suiting my feelings.

楼主底子不错,写的时候注意些小的语法错误,单复数一致

shirley072UID：2712200

12.23 Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?It’s better to watch serious movies that help people think than towatch movies that couldamuse and entertain people.

Frankly speaking, both types of  movies attract me. Which one will be my first choice dependson my moods that moment. So, I probably select a comedic movie just for fun,and the other side, pick up a meaningful one to see through the world or humanity.

Along with the development of modern society, people geteven harder work task, that means they opt easily to be tired. Worry, anxiety,tension influence people and torture their nerves. Then, what's a perfect wayto release these pressure? Nowadays, most people prefer to go to movies toamuse themselves. In this situation, a movie which designed only for entertainis a wonderful choice. The key point is that the funny movie makes you laugh,and forget all the troublesome things even for a little while.

In the other word, movie is considered as an art work whichoriginates from our life, and reflect our behavior. Watching a serious moviewill make us concentrate, and provoke our similar or potential feelings. Takethe movie, Crash, as an example. The main two characters with color bias performtwo different ways in treating various emergency. This make us think about thedeeper level of the personalities, and teach us that a man who superficiallybeing kind is not always be a good guy when getting in trouble. Looking intothe human history, thinking make us grow up and better in handling problems.

Finally, I want to emphasis that both movie are necessarybecause funny movies make us for free, and serious ones make us see throughourselves. I will choose to see either one suiting my feelings.

shirley072UID：2712200

Take a look at our courses in college, basic science is considered as an important part constituted to the whole learning schedule.For nearly every college regards these basic science related courses as the compulsive ones and makes us to learn them before our professional courses, I believe and approve that it is necessary for us to learn the basic science ahead of ourspecialty knowledge.


First and foremost, basic science courses act as the basis for our better appreciation of specialty. Accompanying with the development of science and technology, brand new skills or breakthrough request intense cooperation of different fields. Take my major, biology, as an example,in the past years, people have done a great assignment of unveiling the life secrets, like the mechanism of cell division. However, for most people who converge on the micro-scale level, traditional biological methods are not sufficient any more, they turn to a new way by merge merits of chemistry and biology, and found a fresh subject: biochemistry. The major characteristic of biochemistry is applying some chemical methods to investigate cell division, like injecting small chemical molecular into cells. If we never had chemistry, a basic science course, we would have no idea about the common sense of this new conception of biochemistry, not mention to apply the chemical method. Then our research might probably stall. Since the cross-discipline become a main trend nowadays, owinga basic knowledge of science is crucial. And learning the basic science courses in the college is a appropriate way for us the command the knowledge.


Additionally, our development is not limited in the relative field by choosing our specialty, that means, we should prepare fully for the future job. As we all know, numerous people's work are not the extent of their research in college. For instance, most large corporations provide with lots of jobs without major limitation. They favor people with logical and critical thinking, integrated skills. As for us, solely focusing on our specialty seems not to be a good idea to suit for the request of these corporations.Since we can't avoid the situation of working in another field several years after, the realistic solution is that learning every course well, and we can't neglect the basic science courses. Besides, basic science courses assist to constitute our logical capacity.


I hold that basic science courses are important. We can't neglect them.

cindynanaUID：2630679

12.10 孩子应该是玩和学习还是做家务household chores？% P8 o, i- ?; C* n! W1 n% g/ w

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Many people believe that children should realize the hard aspect of their lives as early as possible by doing (the) household chores. However, considering the instinctive nature( 私以为有点重复，还是有固定搭配？)of children and increasing competence in the future, I hold（good） that children should prefer to(weird a little) play for fun and study in order to prepare well for the future.; }. X/ y& |$ V/ y  N4 Z. i
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When I was a child several years before, the most excited-exciting thing attracts me is to play with my friends. Childhood is regarded to be a happy and airy(又学会了一个小词) time in our life, because child is so young to figure out the running rules（pretty） of the world, not mention to worry about some （fact] problems like wearing and eating--surviving. They are just getting start to touch the world, before the time they have to work-strive for life, they deserve enjoying themselves. And an appropriate way for children to have fun is playing. In contrast, doing household chores is possible to make children feel tired and break their beautiful expects or imaginations of life. In addition, never account on children to do the household chores well, that means parents should spend more time to redo the works.

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Nevertheless, accompanying with the increasing fierce competence—建议换词有重复, the future life will become harder and harder. Many parents have realize this point now, so they work industriously to give their children a better circumstance in order to—建议换句型，重复 make them starting at/with a higher level. For instance, they carefully choose the educational place for children from kindergarten to primitive-primary school, and also some special classes like piano-teaching which is also on the list. A better school always means a heavy burden and more learning tasks. In order to—第三次出现 finish the assignment, children would spare more time to study. Furthermore, doing household chores will definitely occupy the studying time, leading to low efficiency in learning knowledge. After all, learning earlier benefits children in accumulating knowledge which will play an important role in the future competence.& n* c% v+ }0 d1 _0 P  F& b( J9 y8 g


Finally, playing in childhood will make-create a wonderful memory, in the other hand, studying when we were little children may provide us an elevated starting stage. So, I deem that playing and studying should be children's first choice instead of household chores

总的来说，给人的印象很好，尤其是语感，相当严谨。几乎没有语法错误，词用得很恰当，但是希望能再大胆一点。楼主的词汇量不少，可以多用一些可以替换的词避免重复。
在结构上，楼主同意玩和学习反对做家务。第一BODY段，从正面说，第二个从逻辑的思维上给与一定的矫正，这个非常好。但我认为说理的成分有点多，加些其他的论证方法会更好。

谢谢楼主的点评，很入骨~~我也觉得我第一段那句话说的很纠结。智力的那个例子是因为写着写着就写high了，忘了。。。要是像楼主一样严谨就好了。。

shirley072UID：2712200

12.10 孩子应该是玩和学习还是做家务household chores？


Many people believe that children should realize the hard aspect of their lives as early as possible by doing the household chores.However, considering the instinctive nature of children and increasing competence in the future, I hold that children should prefer to play for fun and study in order to prepare well for the future.


When I was a child several years before, the most excited thing attracts me is to play with my friends. Childhood is regarded to be a happy and airy time in our life, because child is so young to figure out the running rules of the world, not mention to worry about some fact problems like wearing and eating. They are just getting start to touch the world, before the time they have to work for life, they deserve enjoying themselves. And an appropriate way for children to have fun is playing. In contrast, doing household chores is possible to make children feel tired and break their beautiful expects or imaginations of life. In addition, never accounton children to do the household chores well, that means parents should spend more time to redo the works.


Nevertheless, accompanying with the increasing fierce competence, the future life will become harder and harder. Many parents have realize this point now, so they work industriously to give their children a better circumstance in order to make them starting at a higher level. For instance, they carefully choose the educational place for children from kindergarten to primitive school,and also some special class like piano-teaching which is also on the list. A better school always means a heavy burden and more learning task. In order to finish the assignment, children should spare more time to study. Furthermore, doing household chores will definitely occupy the studying time, leading to low efficiency in learning knowledge. After all, learning earlier benefits childrenin accumulating knowledge which will play an important role in the future competence.


Finally,playing in childhood will make a wonderful memory, in the other hand, studying when we were little children may provide us an elevated starting stage. So, I deem that playing and studying should be children's first choice instead of household chores.

SilentScorpiusUID：2686998

When I was a student, I had met a lot of teachers bearing different personalities. Some of them were strict and the others might be humorous and easygoing. Honestly, teachers with sense of humor are always popular among the students for they seem to easily get along(with). However, I still hold that a serious and strict teacher will be more effective than a humorous one.

    First of all, we should notice that the major job of (a)teacher is teaching us knowledge, and what he's done will possibly influence our impression of the subject. Since learning knowledge is a serious and precise work, we should treat with the studying carefully and respectfully.Imagining that one humorous historical teacher always tries to make jokes about the events or our heroes by making up some legends, then, it is probably that all we remember clearly are the stories that maybe never and even exist(never ever existed?). In contrast, a serious teacher who often complies with the original facts from the book. Assuming we can recite the same length of contents, the facts will be our first choice(不是很明显的指代) instead of funning jokes through a serious and strict teacher.(这个句子需要重新组织下)
   To some extent, an easygoing teacher may give out a false illusion that the subject is also easy to learn, and the humorous traitis opt to make students not taking the subject seriously. As we know, jokes make people laugh and the same time release the pressure. However, it is pressure which make people (to)strive for(learning). And a strict teacher impress us with a serious attitude, making us fell a little worried or even scared if we don't finish the work. Then, keep indulge(indulging) in this mold, we have to do our best to study. In this way, we have a chance to learn more effectively.
    Finally,some student may argue that the strict teacher seems to be a little dull. Yes,it's true. But think about our main task and goal when studying in schools,that is learning knowledge. (dull=studying...米国人估计不懂)As far as I am concerned, the most effective way to learn is under guide of strict and serious teachers.

LZ说明了Effective的原因，这点比我的作文好多了...不过有些句子需要重新组织，例子也可以更具体一点，使逻辑更加明显.

shirley072UID：2712200

实际上不太理解题目到底什么是more effective。。。


12.9 Do you agree or disagree teacher who is aserious and strict person more effective than a teacher is humor and iseasygoing person.


When I was a student, I had met a lot of teachers bearing different personalities. Some of them were strict and the others might be humorous and easygoing. Honestly, teachers with sense of humor are always popular among the students for they seem to easily get along. However, I still hold that a serious and strict teacher will be more effective than a humorous one.


First of all, we should notice that the major job of teacher is teaching us knowledge, and what he's done will possibly influence our impression of the subject. Since learning knowledge is a serious and precise work, we should treat with the studying carefully and respectfully.Imagining that one humorous historical teacher always tries to make jokes about the events or our heroes by making up some legends, then, it is probably that all we remember clearly are the stories that maybe never and even exist. In contrast, a serious teacher who often complies with the original facts from the book. Assuming we can recite the same length of contents, the facts will be our first choice instead of funning jokes through a serious and strict teacher.


To some extent, an easygoing teacher may give out a false illusion that the subject is also easy to learn, and the humorous traitis opt to make students not taking the subject seriously. As we know, jokes make people laugh and the same time release the pressure. However, it is pressure which make people strive for. And a strict teacher impress us with a serious attitude, making us fell a little worried or even scared if we don't finish the work. Then, keep indulge in this mold, we have to do our best to study. In this way, we have a chance to learn more effectively.


Finally,some student may argue that the strict teacher seems to be a little dull. Yes,it's true. But think about our main task and goal when studying in schools,that is learning knowledge. As far as I am concerned, the most effective way to learn is under guide of strict and serious teachers.

sosodiuUID：2731702

12.8 printed book have had greater effects on society than television has?
"

Along with the invention of television many years ago, our world was paint with the colorful tones and our life became abundant. It is also a great process in human's history. But when it comes to the effects on our life, television can not take place of the printed book, which still hold the greater influence on society.
First of all, we should notice that printed books are the necessities when we get to study in the school, it is the book teaching us knowledge, leading us to see the world. So far, I haven't found the television teaching being the first choice to conveying the knowledge. We keep continuously accumulate knowledge through reading a large number of books, no matter where we are. As we know, behaviors(behavior应该是不可属的 human behavior是一个词组应该指人类的活动~而写成behavior of human的话 感觉语义上有一点点不明确了) of human are considered as the most (是否应该加个adj. ~ 用most 形容key point吗？ )key point in shaping the world. And the knowledge we learned from the book is definitely the main source to guide our actions. Television acts more like an amusement tool for fun. For example, increasing people especially the young incline to imitate the hairstyles showed up in television. Actually, the phenomenon like this is prevalent on society, but after all, changing hairstyle is only a minor trend influencing a few people. Compare to the emerging of computer, which result from some people's hard working through learning and applying exist knowledge present on the printed books, you will find it easily that printed books bring in more important consequence on human society.
（提点小小建议~这一段我个人觉得整体到后半段结构有点散 可能是因为那个haircut的例子有些些不适当~导致有些runaway的感觉~因为这一段你所给的主题句应该是书本带给我们知识、拓宽视野，而haircut这个例子用来例证amusement tool已经有些牵强了，对于整段的论点帮助就更小了~其实最后那个computer那的例子我觉得很好喔也能正面例证你前文的观点~~可以考虑下~）
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Additionally, considering basic characteristics of the book and television, the latter one has a limitation to make more influence on society. Technically speaking, the book wins for it contains more information. Even we can produce many TV programs, but it is hard for us to make a program prevail （prevail 貌似是个不及物动词~）the books in detail and depth, not mention to the length. A book could contain thousands of pages to elaborate one high-tech skill thoroughly, but a program has the time limitation to describe the same skill. Obviously the clearer one will be from the books, then, when we have to use this skill, we turn to printed book but not （rather than）television. Printed book recorded and now records explosive knowledge and extraordinary found in human society, and these information will help people to make world a better place in turn.
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Finally, television has its own advantage to conveying information, for instance, television is fast in transporting news among nations. So I think television is an accessory way to make effects on society. In all, as far as I am concerned, printed book have(has) had greater effects on society.

文章句式丰富~词汇丰富（好羡慕~~~~~~~） 而且我觉得你有一个很大的优点就是段落的末尾都有一定的深化收尾 不过就要谨慎些收尾的地方 哈哈 因为很容易扯进新的东西  很多词的用法我不是特别清楚~（原谅我初中水平单词量）~  改错的地方大家一起探讨探讨

素怿UID：2630430

Along with the invention of television many years ago, our world was paint with the colorful tones and our life became abundant. It is also a great process in human's history. But（改成However，比较好吧） when it comes to the effects on our life, television can not take place of the printed book, which still hold the greater influence on society.

First of all, we should notice that printed books are the necessities when we get to study in the school, it is the book teaching us knowledge, leading us to see the world.（厄，这个句子看着有些奇怪，是不是book后面加that 后面的动词去ing比较好？要是我说错了，别见怪哈） So far, I haven't found the television teaching being the first choice to conveying the knowledge. We keep continuously accumulate knowledge through reading a large number of books, no matter where we are. As we know, behaviors（behavior这里应该是不可数名词吧） of human are considered as the most key point in shaping the world. And the knowledge we learned from the book is definitely the main source to guide our actions. Television acts more like an amusement tool for fun. For example, increasing people especially the young incline to imitate the hairstyles showed up in television. Actually, the phenomenon like this is prevalent on society, but after all, （这个貌似不能连用吧）changing hairstyle is only a minor trend influencing a few people. Compare to the emerging of computer, which result from some people's hard working through learning and applying exist knowledge present on the printed books, you will find it easily that printed books bring in more important consequence on human society. . \  L/ j3 h, g3 I' y
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Additionally, considering basic characteristics of the book and television, the latter one has a limitation to make more influence on society. Technically speaking, the book wins for it contains more information. Even we can produce many TV programs, but it is hard for us to make a program prevail the books in detail and depth, not mention to the length. A book could contain thousands of pages to elaborate one high-tech skill thoroughly, but a program has the time limitation to describe the same skill. Obviously the clearer one will be from the books, then, when we have to use this skill, we turn to printed book but not television. Printed book recorded and now records explosive knowledge and extraordinary found in human society, and these information will help people to make world a better place in turn.0 n' V. ^; e. z1 C7 e$ x" S

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Finally, television has its own advantage to conveying information, for instance, television is fast in transporting news among nations. So I think television is an accessory way to make effects on society. In all, as far as I am concerned, （这两个词组连用有点点奇怪）printed book have had greater effects on society.
楼主的文字驾驭能力很好哇，例子的阐述得都很清楚，还有一些词组的运用，都值得我学习~~
没有什么意见可以给的，所以改的都是一些小地方，要是有说错的地方楼主不要介意哈~~
Ps：谢谢你给我提的建议，很有道理的说~~~

shirley072UID：2712200

12.8 printed book have had greater effects onsociety than television has?


Along with the invention of television many years ago, our world was paint with the colorful tones and our life became abundant. It is also a great process in human's history. But when it comes to the effects on our life, television can not take place of the printed book, which still hold the greater influence on society.


First of all, we should notice that printed books are the necessities when we get to study in the school, it is the book teaching us knowledge, leading us to see the world. So far, I haven't found the television teaching being the first choice to conveying the knowledge. We keep continuously accumulate knowledge through reading a large number of books, no matter where we are. As we know, behaviors of human are considered as the most key point in shaping the world. And the knowledge we learned from the book is definitely the main source to guide our actions. Television acts more like an amusement tool for fun. For example, increasing people especially the young incline to imitate the hairstyles showed up in television. Actually, the phenomenon like this is prevalent on society, but after all, changing hairstyle is only a minor trend influencing a few people. Compare to the emerging of computer, which result from some people's hard working through learning and applying exist knowledge present on the printed books, you will find it easily that printed books bring in more important consequence on human society.


Additionally, considering basic characteristics of the book and television, the latter one has a limitation to make more influence on society. Technically speaking, the book wins for it contains more information. Even we can produce many TV programs, but it is hard for us to make a program prevail the books in detail and depth, not mention to the length. A book could contain thousands of pages to elaborate one high-tech skill thoroughly, but a program has the time limitation to describe the same skill. Obviously the clearer one will be from the books, then, when we have to use this skill, we turn to printed book but not television. Printed book recorded and now records explosive knowledge and extraordinary found in human society, and these information will help people to make world a better place in turn.


Finally,television has its own advantage to conveying information, for instance,television is fast in transporting news among nations. So I think television is an accessory way to make effects on society. In all, as far as I am concerned,printed book have had greater effects on society.

林霄麟UID：2645553

Generally speaking, those people who make a great assignment and overweigh the others in a particular field are defined assuccessful[?] men. Thus, in my opinion, only being different from everyone else[个人觉得这里everyone有些绝对，和所有人都不一样是不可能的，改成the other弱化语气好些，当然，个人意见啦~] will provide the chance[more chances] for us to achieve success.

In order to succeed, we should study better than everyone else no matter which method we choose.[这句段首句有些不合适，我觉得，特别是no matter which method we choose] For example, most of us will prefer to go to school attaining[表目的用to do] educations. There, we learned the knowledge for the first time, in a sense, that means we all stand at the same starting line. [时态有点乱]After the sound of gun-shoot, the competence begins. You can imagine that if everyone keeps at the same speed as others, where the gold cup goes to? Once you determine to succeed, what you should consider first is how to be different and brilliant so as to prevail the others. Like in the class, the teacher would probably offer you identity contents, most students could possibly record the teacher's word one by one without further understanding, however, some cleverer ones may absorb the information with their own way by making a little change on the notes. In fact, the latter ones have more chance to get a high score, for what they learn is not only the knowledge, but also the skills to learn more. And the skills will be the key to let you command the necessary information on the road to success.（这个例子蛮好咧~）

Additionally, being successful means bold to creating new things. （好论点）Take a look at the human process nowadays, advancements are often accompanied by the completely new and innovated ideas. This is better embodied in the aspect of science and technology. See, the most famous magazine Science, Nature and Cell collect the extraordinary found in theories. [个人感觉这种举例方法似乎有些生硬...]The successful authors of these articles should form their own perceptions based on the previous experiments on the similar mechanisms which require they abandoning the stereotypes and daring to put up brand new ideas which obviously different but better than anyone else.

As to me, difference always equal to specialty,and being special will make you more competent in the contest. So, in order to succeed, you should do your best in every aspect ensuring that you are preceding the others.
总的来说写的蛮好啦~加油~

枫叶满天UID：2730468

Generally speaking, those people who make a great assignment and overweigh the others in a particular field are defined assuccessful men. Thus, in my opinion, only being different from everyone else will provide the chance for us(people 议论文迫不得已不用第一人称) to achieve success., P1 y6 q  z' F4 N7 F

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In order to succeed, we should study better than everyone else （to be outstanding）no matter which method we choose(个人觉得这样写会实际一点，也和题目观点接近). For example, most of us will prefer to go to school attaining educations(attain educations at school). There, we learned the knowledge for the first time, in a sense, that means we all stand at the same starting line. After the sound of gun-shoot, the competence begins. You can imagine that if everyone keeps at the same speed as others, where the gold cup goes to? Once you (a person) determine(s) to succeed, what you(he) should consider first is how to be different and brilliant so as to prevail the others. Like in the class, the teacher would probably offers yous identity (students identical) contents, most students could possibly record the teacher's word one by one without further understanding, (.)however(However however做副词时不能连接两个独立分句，具体的可以用google搜一下), some cleverer ones may absorb the information with their own way by making a little change on the notes. In fact, the latter ones have more chance to get a high score, for what they learn is not only the knowledge, but also the skills to learn more. And the skills will be the key to let you(him) command the necessary information （and be）on the road to success（succeed）.9 G8 P5 }& z* f6 C* k  J, t; ]  o
这一段展开的非常不错，细节很支持论点，不过美国人习惯在议论人中绝不出现第二人称

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Additionally, being successful means bold to creating new things. Take a look at the human process nowadays, advancements are often accompanied by the completely new and innovated ideas. This is better embodied in the aspect of science and technology. See, the most famous magazine(s) Science, Nature and Cell collect the extraordinary found in theories. The successful authors of these articles should form their own perceptions based on the previous experiments on the similar mechanisms which require they abandoning (我不知道require有没有这样的用法,但是有require sb. should do这样的用法，其中should可以省掉，所以是不是应该改成abandon包括后面的dare) the stereotypes and daring to put up brand new ideas which obviously different but better than anyone else.1 ^  b# K


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As to me, difference always equal(s) to specialty,and being special will make you(people) more competent in the contest. So, in order to succeed, you(people) should do your(their) best in every aspect ensuring(to ensure) that you are preceding the others.

我的批改意见都已经在文章里了，个人觉得写得还不错。

shirley072UID：2712200

12.7 Agree or disagree, in order to succeed, youshould be more like others than be different from everyone else.


Generally speaking, those people who make a great assignment and overweigh the others in a particular field are defined assuccessful men. Thus, in my opinion, only being different from everyone else will provide the chance for us to achieve success.


In order to succeed, we should study better than everyone else no matter which method we choose. For example, most of us will prefer to go to school attaining educations. There, we learned the knowledge for the first time, in a sense, that means we all stand at the same starting line. After the sound of gun-shoot, the competence begins. You can imagine that if everyone keeps at the same speed as others, where the gold cup goes to? Once you determine to succeed, what you should consider first is how to be different and brilliant so as to prevail the others. Like in the class, the teacher would probably offers you identity contents, most students could possibly record the teacher's word one by one without further understanding, however, some cleverer ones may absorb the information with their own way by making a little change on the notes. In fact, the latter ones have more chance to get a high score, for what they learn is not only the knowledge, but also the skills to learn more. And the skills will be the key to let you command the necessary information on the road to success.


Additionally, being successful means bold to creating new things. Take a look at the human process nowadays, advancements are often accompanied by the completely new and innovated ideas. This is better embodied in the aspect of science and technology. See, the most famous magazine Science, Nature and Cell collect the extraordinary found in theories. The successful authors of these articles should form their own perceptions based on the previous experiments on the similar mechanisms which require they abandoning the stereotypes and daring to put up brand new ideas which obviously different but better than anyone else.


As to me, difference always equal to specialty,and being special will make you more competent in the contest. So, in order to succeed, you should do your best in every aspect ensuring that you are preceding the others.