issue43 砖头，你砸吧！

lightineyeUID：2231481

TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."
WORDS: 503          TIME: 0:55:00          DATE: 2006-7-18

提纲：
1．高尚的道德和伦理标准可以使领导者赢得人民的信任
2．我们应该对于领导人的那些不影响大局的道德上的小缺点表示宽容
3.  但是，并不代表我们可以纵容那些会损害人民利益的道德问题

斑斑，辛苦了~~先谢谢啦~~
顺便帮我打个分吧？呵呵，快要考了....

When we judge a leader, the effectiveness in carrying out policies that favor the population and the profound perspective about what is going on in the world should be put in the limelight. As to his ethical and moral standards, we should put more tolerance to the shortcomings that do not have a significant descending effect on the achievements.

High in ethical and moral standards, a leader is more likely to win hearts of the general population. With justifiable means of competing with other countries, open ways of disseminating ideas or values and legitimate approaches in daily life, a leader is able to naturally set an example in the hearts of people and receive lasting credibility and widespread tributes. A telling example is Martin Luther King who strived for civil rights for the African Americans in nonviolent means. His notable speech "I have a dream" is like a gorgeous light in myriads of people's heart, thus adding to King's prevailing reputation. As you can see, it is the high position in ethical and moral standards that enables a leader to impress profoundly on the population and consequently achieves attainments in spiritual phase.

Yet, just like a sweet apple may have a spot on its skin, a leader may also have some deficiencies in terms of ethical and moral standards. The demerits should not be paid too much attention to, or what is worse, aggrandized to a fault unless they have degrading effects on the holistic benefits of the general people. Clinton's sex scandal and the marital discretions of President Kennedy are apt cases in point. The blemishes in ethical and moral standards are neglectable regarding the two presidents’ marvelous achievements in politics which have pushed America forward to a large extent. Accordingly, only when we place our emphasis on a leader's contributions instead of those flaws that do not matter much, can we correctly judge a leader from an all-round angle.

Admittedly, we still do not permit severe flaws in moral standards for a leader. Granting that a leader need not rank highest in ethical and moral standards is not equal to the indication that he is allowed flaws that tarnish his integrity and imperil people's or even a country's benefits.  Specifically, Watergate, which culminated in the first resignation of a US president, is an apt illustration. President Richard M. Nixon and his supporters carried out a variety of illegal acts to win in the reelection campaign. Such ill means of competing in election amount to nothing but blemish in terms of ethical and moral standards that can never be erased. Thus, even if it is not a must for a leader to be second to none in ethical and moral standards, flaws that are disadvantageous to catholic interests should still be shut out of the door.

To sum up, more tolerance should be applied to a leader in ethical and moral standards, however, complete indulging is not permitted, or the country is likely to be bogged down by blunders people themselves construct.

runningpiggyUID：194977

占座。。。

runningpiggyUID：194977

When we judge a leader, the effectiveness in carrying out policies that favor the population and the profound perspective about what is going on in the world should be put in the limelight.[第一句就让人眼前一亮] As to his[or her] ethical and moral standards, we should put more tolerance to the shortcomings that do not have a significant descending effect on the achievements. [看了这么多天，这篇的开头写得最好，没什么好挑的]

High in ethical and moral standards, a leader is more likely to win hearts[这个词好像用单数比较对头，然后前面加个the] of the general population.[很清楚的TS] With justifiable means of competing with other countries[怎么会说跟别的countries的竞争？似乎做leader不一定就是国家领导人吧？], open ways of disseminating ideas or values and legitimate approaches in daily life, a leader is able to naturally set an example in the hearts of people and receive lasting credibility and widespread tributes. A telling example is Martin Luther King who strived for civil rights for the African Americans[Afro-americans] in[by] nonviolent means. His notable speech "I have a dream" is[was] like[我觉得用as if来写这句更好] a gorgeous light in myriads of people's heart, thus adding to King's prevailing reputation. As you can see,[这句多余] it is the high position in ethical and moral standards that enables a leader to impress profoundly on the population and consequently achieves attainments in spiritual phase. [可以看出整段的用词或是句式都非常地好，不过有点缺乏的是段落的篇幅太短，写完King这个例子之后缺乏应有的分析。而且除了win人民的信任，比较高的ethical和moral standards也能赢得subordinates的信任吧，可以在文章加上，显出自己思考的广度]

Yet, just like a sweet apple may have a spot on its skin, a leader may also have some deficiencies in terms of ethical and moral standards.[这个是你的分论点么？我觉得你的分论点应该是这些deficiencies对leader的effectiveness没有影响吧] The demerits should not be paid too much attention to, or what is worse, aggrandized to a fault unless they have degrading effects on the holistic benefits of the general people. Clinton's sex scandal and the marital discretions of President Kennedy are apt cases in point. The blemishes in ethical and moral standards are neglectable regarding the two presidents’ marvelous achievements in politics[Clinton的贡献应该说是经济上吧] which have pushed America forward to a large extent. Accordingly, only when we place our emphasis on a leader's contributions instead of those flaws that do not matter much,[这个逗号多余] can we correctly judge a leader from an all-round angle. [说实在话，看这篇文章很舒服，不过你似乎过于依靠例子的力量了，两段都是只有四句话，其中一句说例子，这样的论证会失分的，更多地进行各式各样的论证才是正道，比如正反对比地论述，对issue中某些关键词进行定义，引用名人名言，对要证明的观点进行推理，演绎，进行类比，正如这段最开头的那句，可惜写出了类比却没有好好写清楚。并不是你写出了这样的类比，大家就明白你的意思的，你需要写得更清楚些，为什么这两东西可以类比。还有例子写完了，写清楚为什么这例子可以证明观点等等]

Admittedly, we still do not permit severe flaws in moral standards for a leader. Granting that a leader need not rank highest in ethical and moral standards is not equal to the indication that he[or her] is allowed flaws that tarnish his integrity and imperil people's or even a country's benefits.[看完这段就有点糊涂了，怎么这段跟第一个TS写的东西是在一边，第二个TS写的东西又是另一边，是不是应该把这些段落的位置调整一下？] Specifically, Watergate, which culminated in the first resignation of a US president, is an apt illustration. President Richard M. Nixon and his supporters carried out a variety of illegal acts to win in the reelection campaign. Such ill means of competing in election amount to nothing but blemish in terms of ethical and moral standards that can never be erased. Thus, even if it is not a must for a leader to be second to none in ethical and moral standards, flaws that are disadvantageous to catholic interests should still be shut out of the door. [感觉用语都很地道。不过开头的TS写得怪怪的，没有个TS的样子，后面的论证跟前面两段问题类似]

To sum up, more tolerance should be applied to a leader in ethical and moral standards, however, complete indulging is not permitted, or the country is likely to be bogged down by blunders people themselves construct. [很不俗的结尾]


[应该说，文章的基本的东西都表达出来了，可是问题还是有，这三个段落的分布感觉就有点问题，段落内部的论证也需要加强。不过需要称赞的是语言实在是好，很流畅，很简洁。继续努力吧，把论述搞好，应该不会低分的]