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[i习作temp] issue43 [OB小组]第6次作业_stonescj-领导要有高的道德水准 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-7-18 17:08:12 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
43"To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."
1.有了高尚的道德做指导,才能树立良好的形象。
2 由于他们社会地位的特殊性,作为公众人物来说,必须成为别人参照的榜样。
3 但是人无完人,杰出的领导不是道德家moralist,不需要有最高的道德。但总体上要符合大众的标准。
I fundamentally agree the assertion that an outstanding and effective leader should be possess of ethical and moral standards. Nevertheless, it is not the unique ingredient to be a palmary leader and other merits such as insistent and disimpassioned is also indispensably.

To begin with, only guiding with the highly ethical and moral standards can the leaders be more excellent on their position and be respected by ordinary people. The leaders are always the symbol of public departments. As to government, the leaders should be clean-fingered, upright and fair-minded. As to academic institutes, the leaders should be studious, modest and cautious. As to business realm, the leaders should keep the peace and possess with high credit standing. All of these characteristics are partial of ethical and moral virtue that an excellent leader should be made of. As the most rich business man Bill Gates once said (I paraphrase),” A gentleman love the fortune, but get it in valid ways, and all the wealth I have created is aim at benefit for all the people.” What he said has actualized in his commonweal cause. Gates would budget portion   finance to the establishment of Gate’s Foundation which is to support the difficult people.

Furthermore, because of the outstanding leaders' especial social status, they should maintain high ethical and moral virtue to build consummate model in civilization's hearts. No one can ignorance the basic fact that the figures of public leaders influent all walks of society especially youth. Take Mr. Zhou who is one of the most famous premiers in China for example, he came from a poor farmer family and has taste the difficulties and sufferings of common people, so he is thrifty to himself but generous to other people, 80% of his salary is contribute to help the children who unable to go to school. The high noble-minded morality has influenced nearly all the people at his in-service time. Almost all the people involve into distress when heard his died news, even the UN lowered the flag to honor such a prominent leader. Nowadays, many people are taken him as a consummate model all the same. In my opinion, the leader who is well-beloved by the common people is a successful leader.

Admittedly, nobody is ideal without any defect, and an excellent leader is anything but a moralist. In addition, an outstanding leader should possess other merits at the same time. We should estimate the leader with his achievements and put up with some shortcomings. To illustrate this clearly, let's see one of the prevenient Presidents of USA-Bill Clinton, once he was notorious for the sexy scandal with Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern. Under high publicly pressure, he was disimpassioned continues to work and manages state affairs, and then he gained strong political support from the public approval of what he had done. Subsequently, he maintained extraordinarily high approval ratings for the job he was doing as President. Howbeit, Clinton would be more palmary in his president period and gained more respect from public if he possesses high ethical and moral merits.

To sum up, in order to manage from an entire country to a small company, it is inevitable to be appraised by common people from various aspects. So the leaders should be provided with not only high noble-minded ethical and moral traits but also other necessary merits.
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沙发
发表于 2007-7-18 17:31:21 |只看该作者
To begin with, only guiding with the highly ethical and moral standards can the leaders be more excellent on their position and be respected by ordinary people. The leaders are always the symbol of public departments. As to government, the leaders should be clean-fingered, upright and fair-minded. As to academic institutes, the leaders should be studious, modest and cautious. As to business realm, the leaders should keep the peace and possess with high credit standing. All of these characteristics are partial of ethical and moral virtue that an excellent leader should be made of. As the most rich business man Bill Gates once said (I paraphrase),” A gentleman love the fortune, but get it in valid ways, and all the wealth I have created is aim at benefit for all the people.” What he said has actualized in his commonweal cause. Gates would budget portion   finance to the establishment of Gate’s Foundation which is to support the difficult people.

Furthermore, because of the outstanding leaders' especial social status, they should maintain high ethical and moral virtue to build consummate model in civilization's hearts. No one can ignorance the basic fact that the figures of public leaders influent all walks of society especially youth. Take Mr. Zhou who is one of the most famous premiers in China for example, he came from a poor farmer family and has taste the difficulties and sufferings of common people, so he is thrifty to himself but generous to other people, 80% of his salary is contribute[contributed] to help the children who unable to go to school. The high noble-minded morality has influenced nearly all the people at his in-service time. Almost all the people involve into distress when heard his died news, even the UN lowered the flag to honor such a prominent leader. Nowadays, many people are taken him as a consummate model all the same. In my opinion, the leader who is well-beloved by the common people is a successful leader.

Admittedly, nobody is ideal without any defect, and an excellent leader is anything but a moralist. In addition, an outstanding leader should possess other merits at the same time. We should estimate the leader with his achievements and put up with some shortcomings. To illustrate this clearly, let's see one of the prevenient Presidents of USA-Bill Clinton, once he was notorious for the sexy scandal with Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern. Under high publicly pressure, he was disimpassioned continues to work and manages state affairs, and then he gained strong political support from the public approval of what he had done. Subsequently, he maintained extraordinarily high approval ratings for the job he was doing as President. Howbeit, Clinton would be more palmary in his president period and gained more respect from public if he possesses high ethical and moral merits.

To sum up, in order to manage from an entire country to a small company, it is inevitable to be appraised by common people from various aspects. So the leaders should be provided with not only high noble-minded ethical and moral traits but also other necessary merits.

例子用的比较生动,但感觉还没能完全展开题目的层次
用词造句都很精彩,佩服!

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板凳
发表于 2007-7-18 20:49:22 |只看该作者
I fundamentally agree the assertion that an outstanding and effective leader should be possess of ethical and moral standards. Nevertheless, it is not the unique ingredient to be a palmary leader and other merits such as insistent and disimpassioned is also indispensably.

To begin with, only guiding with the highly ethical and moral standards can the leaders be more excellent on their position and be respected by ordinary people. 石头的倒装句总是写的比较好The leaders are always the symbol of public departments. As to government, the leaders should be clean-fingered, upright and fair-minded. As to academic institutes, the leaders should be studious, modest and cautious. As to business realm, the leaders should keep the peace and possess with high credit standing. (我的理解是public official专指政府官员,official金山辞典上是公务员的意思,我觉得应该局限于政府官员说事。)All of these characteristics are partial of ethical and moral virtue that an excellent leader should be made of. As the most rich business man Bill Gates once said (I paraphrase),” A gentleman love the fortune, but get it in valid ways, and all the wealth I have created is aim at benefit for all the people.” What he said has actualized in his commonweal cause. Gates would budget portion   finance to the establishment of Gate’s Foundation which is to support the difficult people.

Furthermore, because of the outstanding leaders' especial social status, they should maintain high ethical and moral virtue to build consummate model in civilization's hearts. No one can ignorance the basic fact that the figures of public leaders influent all walks of society especially youth. (主题句说到影响,后面应该呼应一下,如总理的行为影响大家,跟他学习之类)Take Mr. Zhou who is one of the most famous premiers in China for example, he came from a poor farmer family and has(had) tasted the difficulties and sufferings of common people, so he is (was) thrifty to himself but generous to other people, 80% of his salary is contribute to help the children who unable to go to school. The high noble-minded morality has influenced nearly all the people at his in-service time. Almost all the people involve into distress when heard his died news, even the UN lowered the flag to honor such a prominent leader. Nowadays, many people are taken him as a consummate model all the same. In my opinion, the leader who is well-beloved by the common people is a successful leader.

Admittedly, nobody is ideal without any defect, and an excellent leader is anything but a moralist. In addition, an outstanding leader should possess other merits at the same time. We should estimate the leader with his achievements and put up with some shortcomings. To illustrate this clearly, let's see one of the prevenient Presidents of USA-Bill Clinton, once he was notorious for the sexy scandal with Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern. Under high publicly pressure, he was disimpassioned continues to work and manages state affairs, and then he gained strong political support from the public approval of what he had done. Subsequently, he maintained extraordinarily high approval ratings for the job he was doing as President. Howbeit, Clinton would be more palmary in his president period and gained more respect from public if he possesses high ethical and moral merits.(这句话说他要是没有绯闻会更好,这不是和主题句矛盾了吗?主题句说领导不是道德家,那么好像是允许犯点无关大雅的小错,这样看来最后一句改成他的绯闻没有影响到他的效率和成绩,是不是更好点。)

To sum up, in order to manage from an entire country to a small company, it is inevitable to be appraised by common people from various aspects. So the leaders should be provided with not only high noble-minded ethical and moral traits but also other necessary merits.(总觉得other应该单独一段展开一下)

关于破题的想法,我也在探索中:我觉得题目的重点在于,领导人是不是需要最高的道德标准而不是“最高道德标准够不够成为一个好领导”这个问题上
但是,我又看过很多人的提纲在这种论题上都写过类似的方向,所以我也拿不准这样写到底偏不偏题。
2.关于文章的结构,这样调整一下好不好:道德重要;但是领导不是道学家,允许犯错;另外,只有道德是不够的。   (这样感觉重点依然在道德上)
当然这个和我的习惯思维有关系hoho

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地板
发表于 2007-7-18 22:01:16 |只看该作者

I fundamentally agree the assertion that an outstanding and effective leader should be[删?] possess of ethical and moral standards. Nevertheless, it is not the unique ingredient to be a palmary leader and other merits such as insistent and disimpassioned [用名词]is also indispensably.
观点不错


To begin with, only guiding with the highly ethical and moral standards can the leaders be more excellent on their position and be respected by ordinary people
. The leaders are always the symbol of public departments. As to government, the leaders should be clean-fingered, upright and fair-minded. As to academic institutes, the leaders should be studious, modest and cautious. As to business realm, the leaders should keep the peace and possess with high credit standing. All of these characteristics are partial of ethical and moral virtue that an excellent leader should be made of. As the most richest business man Bill Gates once said (I paraphrase),” A gentleman loves the fortune, but get it in valid ways, and all the wealth I have created is aim at benefit for all the people.” What he said has actualized in his commonweal cause. Gates would budget portion   finance to the establishment of Gate’s Foundation which is to support the difficult people.

Furthermore, because of the outstanding leaders' especial social status, they should maintain high ethical and moral virtue to build consummate model in civilization's hearts. No one can
ignorance the basic fact that the figures of public leaders influent [influence] all walks of society especially youth. Take Mr. Zhou who is one of the most famous premiers in China for example, he came from a poor farmer family and hashad tasted the difficulties and sufferings of common people, so he is (was) thrifty to himself but generous to other people, 80% of his salary is contribute to help the children who unable to go to school. The high noble-minded morality has influenced nearly all the people at his in-service time. Almost all the people involve into distress when heard his died news [news of his death], even the UN lowered the flag to honor such a prominent leader. Nowadays, many people are taken him as a consummate model all the same. In my opinion, the leader who is well-beloved by the common people is a successful leader.

Admittedly, nobody is ideal without any defect, and an excellent leader is anything but a moralist. In addition, an outstanding leader should possess other merits at the same time. We should estimate the leader with his achievements and put up with some shortcomings. To illustrate this clearly, let's see one of the prevenient
[former] Presidents of USA-Bill Clinton, once he was notorious for the sexy scandal with Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern. Under high publicly pressure, he was disimpassioned continues to work and manages state affairs, and then he gained strong political support from the public approval of what he had done. Subsequently, he maintained extraordinarily high approval ratings for the job he was doing as President. Howbeit, Clinton would be more palmary in his president period and gained more respect from public if he possesses high ethical and moral merits.
To sum up, in order to manage from an entire country to a small company, it is inevitable to be appraised by common people from various aspects. So the leaders should be provided with not only high noble-minded ethical and moral traits but also
other necessary merits.

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Golden Apple

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发表于 2007-7-19 15:41:42 |只看该作者
I fundamentally agree the assertion that an outstanding and effective leader should be possess of ethical and moral standards. Nevertheless, it is not the unique ingredient to be a palmary leader and other merits such as insistent and disimpassioned is also indispensably.开头很简洁,赞!

To begin with, only guiding with the highly ethical and moral standards can the leaders be more excellent on their position and be respected by ordinary people. The leaders are always the symbol of public departments. As to government, the leaders should be clean-fingered, upright and fair-minded. As to academic institutes, the leaders should be studious, modest and cautious. As to business realm, the leaders should keep the peace and possess with high credit standing. All of these characteristics are partial of ethical and moral virtue that an excellent leader should be made of. As the most rich business man Bill Gates once said (I paraphrase),” A gentleman love the fortune, but get it in valid ways, and all the wealth I have created is aim at benefit for all the people.” What he said has actualized in his commonweal cause. Gates would budget portion   finance to the establishment of Gate’s Foundation which is to support the difficult people. 论述的很不错,就是有一点。题目中是说:public official, 我个人理解这个专门指代的是官员,在government里的那种,而非各种领域的领袖

Furthermore, because of the outstanding leaders' especial social status, they should maintain high ethical and moral virtue to build consummate model in civilization's hearts. No one can ignorance the basic fact that the figures of public leaders influent all walks of society especially youth. Take Mr. Zhou who is one of the most famous premiers in China for example, he came from a poor farmer family and has taste the difficulties and sufferings of common people, so he is thrifty to himself but generous to other people, 80% of his salary is contribute to help the children who unable to go to school.【缺少动词吧】The high noble-minded morality has influenced nearly all the people at his in-service time. Almost all the people involve into distress when heard his died news, even the UN lowered the flag to honor such a prominent leader. Nowadays, many people are taken him as a consummate model all the same. In my opinion, the leader who is well-beloved by the common people is a successful leader.

Admittedly, nobody is ideal without any defect, and an excellent leader is anything but a moralist. 【表述的不好】In addition, an outstanding leader should possess other merits at the same time. We should estimate the leader with his achievements and put up with some shortcomings. To illustrate this clearly, let's see one of the prevenient Presidents of USA-Bill Clinton, once he was notorious for the sexy scandal with Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern. Under high publicly pressure, he was disimpassioned continues to work and manages state affairs, and then he gained strong political support from the public approval of what he had done. Subsequently, he maintained extraordinarily high approval ratings for the job he was doing as President. Howbeit, Clinton would be more palmary in his president period and gained more respect from public if he possesses high ethical and moral merits.我觉得你的立论和你下面的论述有些跑题了。你开头主要说的是领导要有其他好的素质,但是后面主要谈克林顿的事情,这个例子不是支持你的topic sentence的

To sum up, in order to manage from an entire country to a small company, it is inevitable to be appraised by common people from various aspects. So the leaders should be provided with not only high noble-minded ethical and moral traits but also other necessary merits.
  
小结:
总来说,结构不错,举例也很充分,就是有时候在论述的时候没有依照自己前面的topic sentence来论述,这个要注意的




[ 本帖最后由 Orange&Blue 于 2007-7-19 15:53 编辑 ]

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发表于 2007-7-19 16:53:20 |只看该作者
嗯,上面几位都说到相同的问题了,我要好好改改了:)

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RE: issue43 [OB小组]第6次作业_stonescj-领导要有高的道德水准 [修改]

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