Argument147 总算限时成功了一篇Argument

菲子UID??2311527

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 479          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-8-8

The arguer claimed that the sales of Whirlwind would not declined in the future, but he did not provide enough information that people 10 to 25 years old favorite the lifelike graphics best and they would buy many such video games from the Whirlwind video.

Although the recent survey showed that the players preferred games that provide lifelike graphics, it is still hasty to say that people 10 to 25 years old prefer the lifelike graphics best. For the first reason, it is possible that there are not many people invited to the survey. If the sample of the survey is only 10 players, even if 8 of them prefer the games that provide the lifelike graphics, it does not mean that all players prefer that. Secondly, it is equally possible that people 10 to 25 are not invited to the survey, since there is no information of the sample. Given that most people of 10 to 25 years old are not be invited to the survey, the result can not be believed.

Even if people 10 to 25 years old like this kind of video games, there is no guarantee that they will like the video games from the Whirlwind. As it is known, there are many other aspects of video games that should be considered, such as the quality, the theme, the story and the characteristics of the figure. Given that the Whirlwind Company cannot make video games good enough, the graphics and the sound are in bad quality, the customers might not choose the Whirlwind video game. Besides, if the story of the game is not appealing, the players may find it boring, no matter how lifelike the graphics are. It is equally possible that some competitors of Whirlwind are making the video games with lifelike graphics at the same time, and their games are much more interesting, so that the players may buy the video games from other companies. Without the information of other aspects of the video games, and the information of other Video game companies, the arguer can not say that the Whirlwind video games will stop declining.

Further, the arguer failed to consider the economic situation in the country. It is possible that the sales of Whirlwind video games declined not because the players did not like the games, but because they could not afford to play many games, since the prices of some interesting games are high. More over, people 10 to 25 years old more unlikely did not get enough money to buy video games. In that case, if the economic situation in the country did not turn up, the sales of the Whirlwind video may still decline.

The arguer is so hasty to make the conclusion that the sales will increase without provide more information of the survey. Besides, s/he did not mention other aspects of video games and the information of the competitors.

ghost33UID??2267869

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine."Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

WORDS: 479          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-8-8

The arguer claimed that the sales of Whirlwind would not declined in the future, but he did not provide enough information that people 10 to 25 years old favorite the lifelike graphics best and they would buy many such video games from the Whirlwind video.Although the recent survey showed that the players preferred games that provide lifelike graphics, it is still hasty to say that people 10 to 25 years old prefer the lifelike graphics best. For the first reason, it is possible that there are not many people invited to the survey. If the sample of the survey is only 10 players, even if 8 of them prefer the games that provide the lifelike graphics, it does not mean that all players prefer that.

Secondly, it is equally possible that people 10 to 25 are not invited to the survey, since there is no information of the sample. Given that most people of 10 to 25 years old are not be[这里注意一下吧，在你的issue里面也有类似的问题。把be去掉] invited to the survey, the result can not be believed.[这个不能被相信不是很好，感觉很别扭的。不如is unconvincing] Even if people 10 to 25 years old like this kind of video games, there is no guarantee that they will like the video games from the Whirlwind. As it is known, there are many other aspects of video games that should be considered, such as the quality, the theme, the story and the characteristics of the figure. Given that the Whirlwind Company cannot make video games good enough, the graphics and the sound are in bad quality, the customers might not choose the Whirlwind video game. Besides, if the story of the game is not appealing, the players may find it boring, no matter how lifelike the graphics are. It is equally possible that some competitors of Whirlwind are making the video games with lifelike graphics at the same time, and their games are much more interesting, so that the players may buy the video games from other companies. Without the information of other aspects of the video games, and the information of other Video game companies, the arguer can not say that the Whirlwind video games will stop declining.这段精彩！！！

Further,[建议把这一二句调一下顺序吧，第二句做论点比较舒服。] the arguer failed to consider the economic situation in the country. It is possible that the sales of Whirlwind video games declined not because the players did not like the games, but because they could not afford to play many games, since the prices of some interesting games are high. More over, people 10 to 25 years old more unlikely did not get enough money to buy video games. In that case, if the economic situation in the country did not turn up, the sales of the Whirlwind video may still decline.

The arguer is so hasty to make the conclusion that the sales will increase without provide more information of the survey. Besides, s/he did not mention other aspects of video games and the information of the competitors.这个结尾和开头长得有点象。不如还是模版套路提个小建议啥的。

限时作文写得这么棒，狂羡慕中~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ 本帖最后由 ghost33 于 2007-8-10 12:22 编辑 ]