Argument145 第1篇 严重超时，希望大家不要忽视Argument。（一定回拍，请留下链

chenh1207UID：182826

Argument145  第1篇 严重超时，希望大家不要忽视Argument。（一定回拍，请留下链接）
题目：
A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.

The arguer claims that by eating less than average and exercise more, a snoring man can lose his weight. There seem to be something correlation between the weight and personal lifestyle. Nevertheless, when I consider some other possibilities and alternatives, this conclusion may be poor-reasoned and illogical for the snoring people to follow.

Firstly, the method to conduct this study is probably fallacious. It is possible that the questionnaire is designed by some amateurs, not professions. For example, a statistical expert may ask such question related to the privacy indirectly and deliberated designed, while a green hand of the statistic would rudely require the respondents to fill the blanks, such as age or weight which are rejected by respondents. So the qualify of the study will not be assured. Secondly, the result of the study could be not representative, according to the prejudice and preference of this study. And also the persons who conduct this study could have possessed some inclinations to draw the above conclusion before the study, so they are more likely to ask the fat men whether they are snoring and meanwhile select the slim people to answer the questionnaires. All of these two faults can cause the incorrect and unbelievable conclusion about the methods for the snoring people to lose their weight.

Secondly, the people who are trapped in sleep apnea can not become less weight, even though the method of the study is credible. The arguer assumes that people who snore at night can lose their weight by eating less. But whether this assumption is a science and trustworthy is still doubtful. People who snore at night could not be suitable for using this method because of their illness. As a case in point, when these people try to eat less, they may be much likely to have sleep apnea and even endanger their lives by more frequencies to stop breathing. So eating less is probably not  for this situation.

In addition, the argument persuades the snoring people to exercise more and by consuming their energy they can keep fit. It sounds great in theory only when we talk about the normal person. The snoring people maybe have already exercised much in day and night but they still can not lose their weight. It may be contributed to the fact that the amount of energy by exercising is equal or less than the amount of the energy that they actually eat. So the net energy is positive. Even though they exercise more, the result is expected to hold the previous status, or even increase the weight day by day.

Finally, when the above methods of eating less and exercising more are efficient, we still need other factors to accompany and combine with. For instance, the snoring people would need some special medicines to relieve their symptoms and must hold some positive and bright attitude towards this illness. Through taking some pills before sleep, they can stop breathing less and waking less so that these people can save enough energy for tomorrow's exercise and do eat less. Furthermore when they have a light mood, they will be able to avoid the difficulty of snoring and be easily to have a sound sleep which leads a beneficial circle between weight and sleep.

To sum up, the doubtful method to conduct this study, the wrong assumption of eating less loses weight, the cause-and-effect problem between exercise and weight and the sufficient flaw without considering other alternatives, all of these can damage the logic and reasoning of this argument. So we should rectify these fallacies to conclude a well-reasoned method to lose the weight for the snoring people.

bablUID：190621

A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.

The arguer claims that by eating less than average and exercise more, a snoring man can lose his weight. There seem to be something correlation between the weight and personal lifestyle. Nevertheless, when I consider some other possibilities and alternatives, this conclusion may be poor-reasoned and illogical for the snoring people to follow.

Firstly, the method to conduct this study is probably fallacious. It is possible that the questionnaire is designed by some amateurs, not professions. For example, a statistical expert may ask such question related to the privacy indirectly and deliberated designed, while a green hand of the statistic would rudely require the respondents to fill the blanks, such as age or weight which are rejected by respondents. So the qualify of the study will not be assured. Secondly, the result of the study could be not representative, according to the prejudice and preference of this study. And also the persons who conduct this study could have possessed some inclinations to draw the above conclusion before the study, so they are more likely to ask the fat men whether they are snoring and meanwhile select the slim people to answer the questionnaires. All of these two faults can cause the incorrect and unbelievable conclusion about the methods for the snoring people to lose their weight.个人感觉除非攻击点非常少或者的情况下还是不要去攻击survey的conductor，survey里最常用的还是sample方面的一些 fallacy

Secondly, the people who are trapped in sleep apnea can not become less weight, even though the method of the study is credible. The arguer assumes that people who snore at night can lose their weight by eating less. But whether this assumption is a science and trustworthy is still doubtful. People who snore at night could not be suitable for using this method because of their illness.这几句话感觉有些冗长，没有说到点子上，有利的论述应该是举出其他的possibilities As a case in point, when these people try to eat less, they may be much likely to have sleep apnea and even endanger their lives by more frequencies to stop breathing. So eating less is probably not for this situation.

In addition, the argument persuades the snoring people to exercise more and by consuming their energy they can keep fit. It sounds great in theory only when we talk about the normal person. The snoring people maybe have already exercised much in day and night but they still can not lose their weight. It may be contributed to the fact that the amount of energy by exercising is equal or less than the amount of the energy that they actually eat. So the net energy is positive. Even though they exercise more, the result is expected to hold the previous status, or even increase the weight day by day.没有攻击到点子上

Finally, when the above methods of eating less and exercising more are efficient, we still need other factors to accompany and combine with. For instance, the snoring people would need some special medicines to relieve their symptoms and must hold some positive and bright attitude towards this illness. Through taking some pills before sleep, they can stop breathing less and waking less so that these people can save enough energy for tomorrow's exercise and do eat less. Furthermore when they have a light mood, they will be able to avoid the difficulty of snoring and be easily to have a sound sleep which leads a beneficial circle between weight and sleep.

To sum up, the doubtful method to conduct this study, the wrong assumption of eating less loses weight, the cause-and-effect problem between exercise and weight and the sufficient flaw without considering other alternatives, all of these can damage the logic and reasoning of this argument. So we should rectify these fallacies to conclude a well-reasoned method to lose the weight for the snoring people.
总体感觉这篇augument逻辑有点乱，可能是刚开始写的缘故，建议可以先看一些范文组织一个模板，同时多扫扫题锻炼找fallacy的能力。
我对这篇argument的理解和你稍有不同，下面是我的理解和提纲，希望可以给你一些参考：

由于snore对健康有害（sleep apnea），同时snore可以导致肥胖，所以减肥可以预防snore。而通过少吃和多运动可以达到减肥的目的。

1、snore不一定导致严重的健康问题：仅仅是感觉累，并且不是所有打鼾的人都会sleep apnea

2、即使snore有害健康，也未必是肥胖的缘故：首先调查的样本可能没有代表性，其次有其他原因会导致snore

3、即使肥胖导致snore，作者提出的减肥方法不够科学

我的issue185和87的链接：
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=256128
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=256445
欢迎有空拍砖

chenh1207UID：182826

谢谢你的建议！我会仔细试考的！
我在写这片文章的时候，也分析他的逻辑结构，其中尤其注意避免evidence和argument的区别。
对于你的提纲的二，三点，我表示赞同，
可对于第一点“仅仅是感觉累，并且不是所有打鼾的人都会sleep apnea”，我觉得这是个事实（即不需要反驳）。
希望听到你的看法，谢谢！

bablUID：190621

关于sleep apnea的那段描述确实是事实，但是我觉得作者提出观点的基础就在于snore是有害健康的，但是没有说明sleep apnea除了会让人很累之外有没有进一步的影响。
另外结论是“Anyone who snores应该……”，所以我觉得应该指出并非所有打鼾的人都会sleep apnea

我的一点看法，希望有帮助

911tgUID：172901

要考了没时间帮你改了，谁帮我看看啊，不胜感激 !!!!!!
同题目
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=256773