Argument154 模考~

so猫UID：148633

Argument154
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：29分20秒     513 words
从2005年2月19日10时5分到2005年2月19日10时29分
------题目------
The following appeared in the editorial section of a health and fitness magazine.
'In a study of the effects of exercise on longevity, medical researchers tracked 500 middle-aged men over a 20-year period. The subjects represented a variety of occupations in several different parts of the country and responded to an annual survey in which they were asked: How often and how strenuously do you exercise? Of those who responded, the men who reported that they engaged in vigorous outdoor exercise nearly every day lived longer than the men who reported that they exercised mildly only once or twice a week. Given the clear link that this study establishes between longevity and exercise, doctors should not recommend moderate exercise to their patients but should instead encourage vigorous outdoor exercise on a daily basis.'
------正文------
The argument is well-organized, but poorly-reasoned. There are several facets above are problematic. First of all, the argument is based on a survey lack of reliability and generalizability. In addition, the argument arbitrarily assumes the correlation accounts for a causal relationship. Eventually the argument overlooks the specific situation of individual patients who should be treated differently. I will discuss each of them in the following paragraph.

In evaluating the argument, the speaker refers a survey as the foundation of his/her conclusion; however, the survey lacks evidence to prove its authenticity and objectivity. First of all, the 500 middle-aged men, as the argument refers above, may be not randomly chosen. In addition, as we know, middle-aged men cannot represent the general situation for most people, such as the women, the children and the senior citizens. Also the whole argument is based on the respond from the people that no sufficient evidence is given to show that they are not lying or offering the respond with the expected answers. From this point of view, weakpoints in the survey determines that the utilization of the survey is presumptuous and out of careful consideration.

Even if the survey are reliable and true, the argument cannot arbitrarily draw the deduction that the correlation of the exercise and longevity is a causal one. It may be true that when people take out-door exercise they also take healthy diet, and abandon some bad habits for instance the drunk and smoking. It may also be the case that people who choose to take out-door exercise and live longer have better healthy condition than the one who have to stay indoor and cannot do sports, such as the heart-disease patients. No evidence has been offered to persuade people that the causal relationship really exists. What the argument above actually refers is that the longevity and exercise happens one after another in the time sequence.

Granted that the links between longevity and exercise is proven to be a causal relationship, it is dangerous for doctors to recommend patient moderate exercise instead of vigorous exercise on a daily basis. As we know, the patients with different disease vary in physical conditions. Some may be restricted from exercise, even moderate one since any improper movement may kill them instead of save their lives. Some should be suggested to exercise to intense degree and exercise outdoors, such as the patients who have troubles of obesity and some disease concerning breathing system. Thus the doctors have to examine the situation of every patient to give the most suitable advice on exercise.

In conclusion, the argument although at the first glance to be sound and persuasive, commits several serious logical fallacies. The speaker should provide more evidence proving the survey could represent the general opinions of most people. Also more detailed evidence should be offered to persuade people that the correlation between the violent exercise and longevity is really a causal one.

早上的ISSUE写砸了就不放上来了~

lingli_xiaoaiUID：172506

it is dangerous for doctors to recommend patient moderate exercise instead of vigorous exercise on a daily basis. 这句话是不是说反了?
有点困惑

athiferUID：199136

The argument is well-organized, but poorly-reasoned. There are several facets above are problematic. First of all, the argument is based on a survey lack of reliability and generalizability. In addition, the argument arbitrarily assumes the correlation accounts ?accounted for a causal relationship. Eventually the argument overlooks the specific situation of individual patients patient who should be treated differently distinctively. I will discuss each of them in the following paragraphs.

In evaluating the argument, the speaker refers a survey as the foundation of his/her conclusion; however, the survey lacks evidence to prove its authenticity and objectivity. First of all, the 500 middle-aged men, as the argument refers above, may be not randomly chosen. In addition, as we know, middle-aged men cannot represent the general situation for most people, such as the women, the children and the senior citizens. Also the whole argument is based on the respond from the people that no sufficient evidence is given to show that they are not lying or offering the respond with the expected answers. From this point of view, weakpoints weak points in the survey determines that the utilization of the survey is presumptuous and out of careful consideration.

Even if the survey are is reliable and true, the argument cannot arbitrarily draw the deduction that the correlation of the exercise and longevity is a causal one. It may be true that when people take out-door exercise they also take healthy diet, and abandon some bad habits for instance the drunk and smoking. It may also be the case that people who choose to take out-door exercise and live longer have better healthy condition than the one who have to stay indoor and cannot do sports, such as the heart-disease patients. No evidence has been offered to persuade people that the causal relationship really exists. What the argument above actually refers is that the longevity and exercise happens one after another in the time sequence.

Granted that the links between longevity and exercise is proven to be a causal relationship, it is dangerous for doctors to recommend patient moderate exercise instead of vigorous exercise on a daily basis. 说反了 As we know, the patients with different disease vary in physical conditions. Some may be restricted from exercise, even moderate one since any improper movement may kill them instead of save their lives. Some should be suggested to exercise to intense degree and exercise outdoors, such as the patients who have troubles of obesity and some disease concerning breathing system. Thus the doctors have to examine the situation of every patient to give the most suitable advice on exercise. 觉得可以在it is dangerous之前强调一下常人和病人在运动和长寿问题上的的区别，呼应前文并明确指出这个false analogy

In conclusion, the argument although at the first glance to be sound and persuasive, commits several serious logical fallacies. The speaker should provide more evidence proving the survey could represent the general opinions of most people. Also more detailed evidence should be offered to persuade people that the correlation between the violent exercise and longevity is really a causal one.

说理说得很清晰了，向楼主学习

mondiaUID：193825

No.1 Argument154 模考~
Argument154
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：29分20秒 513 words
从2005年2月19日10时5分到2005年2月19日10时29分
------题目------
The following appeared in the editorial section of a health and fitness magazine.
'In a study of the effects of exercise on longevity, medical researchers tracked 500 middle-aged men over a 20-year period. The subjects represented a variety of occupations in several different parts of the country and responded to an annual survey in which they were asked: How often and how strenuously do you exercise? Of those who responded, the men who reported that they engaged in vigorous outdoor exercise nearly every day lived longer than the men who reported that they exercised mildly only once or twice a week. Given the clear link that this study establishes between longevity and exercise, doctors should not recommend moderate exercise to their patients but should instead encourage vigorous outdoor exercise on a daily basis.'
------正文------
The argument is well-organized, but poorly-reasoned. There are several facets above are problematic.别扭，结构有问题吧 First of all, the argument is based on a survey lack of reliability and generalizability. generalization？  In addition, the argument arbitrarily assumes the correlation accounts for a causal relationship. Eventually the argument overlooks the specific situation of individual patients who should be treated differently. I will discuss each of them in the following paragraph.

In evaluating the argument, the speaker refers a survey as the foundation of his/her conclusion; however, the survey lacks evidence to prove its authenticity and objectivity. First of all, the 500 middle-aged men, as the argument refers above, may be not randomly chosen. In addition, as we know, middle-aged men cannot represent the general situation for most people, such as the women, the children and the senior citizens. Also the whole argument is based on the respond from the people that no sufficient evidence is given to show that they are not lying 这个词有点过了吧or offering the respond with the expected answers. From this point of view, weakpoints in the survey determines that the utilization of the survey is presumptuous and out of careful consideration.是不是可以although一下这片作者"比较"正规一点的调查(比有些一个survey完事的调查好多了)

Even if the survey are reliable and true, the argument cannot arbitrarily draw the deduction that the correlation of the exercise and longevity is a causal one. It may be true that when people take out-door exercise they also take healthy diet, and abandon some bad habits for instance the drunk and smoking. It may also be the case that people who choose to take out-door exercise and live longer have better healthy condition than the one who have to stay indoor and cannot do sports, such as the heart-disease patients. No evidence has been offered to persuade people that the causal relationship really exists. What the argument above actually refers is that the longevity and exercise happens one after another in the time sequence.感觉都是点到即止了，是不是可以抓一个重点，晓之以情，动之以理，让人看来是"necessary"的；比方举邻居家的例子就有杀伤力了

Granted that the links between longevity and exercise is proven to be a causal relationship, it is dangerous for doctors to recommend patient moderate exercise instead of vigorous exercise on a daily basis. As we know, the patients with different disease vary in physical conditions. Some may be restricted from exercise, even moderate one since any improper movement may kill them instead of save their lives. Some should be suggested to exercise to intense degree and exercise outdoors, such as the patients who have troubles of obesity and some disease concerning breathing system. Thus the doctors have to examine the situation of every patient to give the most suitable advice on exercise.

In conclusion, the argument although at the first glance to be sound and persuasive, commits several serious logical fallacies. The speaker should provide more evidence proving the survey could represent the general opinions of most people. Also more detailed evidence should be offered to persuade people that the correlation between the violent exercise and longevity is really a causal one.

个人喜欢那种"although"一下作者良好初衷的结尾，感觉不是那么"仗势欺人"
早上的ISSUE写砸了就不放上来了~


有个想法，
写这种医疗之类的，关于健康的，是不是可以有点感情色彩，比方将自己设为一个和蔼慈祥的老医生，或者善良的邻家女孩（邻居有未生病的老爷爷），陪病人在看这份杂志。。。
希望不要被骂迂腐  :(

鬼谷子UID：159645

Argument154
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间：29分20秒 513 words
从2005年2月19日10时5分到2005年2月19日10时29分
------题目------
The following appeared in the editorial section of a health and fitness magazine.
'In a study of the effects of exercise on longevity, medical researchers tracked 500 middle-aged men over a 20-year period. The subjects represented a variety of occupations in several different parts of the country and responded to an annual survey in which they were asked: How often and how strenuously do you exercise? Of those who responded, the men who reported that they engaged in vigorous outdoor exercise nearly every day lived longer than the men who reported that they exercised mildly only once or twice a week. Given the clear link that this study establishes between longevity and exercise, doctors should not recommend moderate exercise to their patients but should instead encourage vigorous outdoor exercise on a daily basis.'
------正文------
The argument is well-organized, but poorly-reasoned. There are several facets above are problematic. First of all, the argument is based on a survey lack of reliability and generalizability. In addition, the argument arbitrarily assumes the correlation accounts for a causal relationship. Eventually the argument overlooks the specific situation of individual patients who should be treated differently. I will discuss each of them in the following paragraph. 【形成风格了，很好】

In evaluating the argument, the speaker refers a survey as the foundation of his/her conclusion; however, the survey lacks evidence to prove its authenticity and objectivity. First of all, the 500 middle-aged men, as the argument refers above, may be not randomly chosen. In addition, as we know, middle-aged men cannot represent the general situation for most people, such as the women, the children and the senior citizens. Also the whole argument is based on the respond from the people that no sufficient evidence is given to show that they are not lying or offering the respond with the expected answers. From this point of view, weakpoints in the survey determines that the utilization of the survey is presumptuous and out of careful consideration. 【survey的真实性，广泛性，随机性都考虑到了】

Even if the survey are reliable and true, the argument cannot arbitrarily draw the deduction that the correlation of the exercise and longevity is a causal one. It may be true that when people take out-door exercise they also take healthy diet, and abandon some bad habits for instance the drunk and smoking. It may also be the case that people who choose to take out-door exercise and live longer have better healthy condition than the one who have to stay indoor and cannot do sports, such as the heart-disease patients. No evidence has been offered to persuade people that the causal relationship really exists. What the argument above actually refers is that the longevity and exercise happens one after another in the time sequence.

Granted that the links between longevity and exercise is proven to be a causal relationship, it is dangerous for doctors to recommend patient moderate exercise instead of vigorous exercise on a daily basis. As we know, the patients with different disease vary in physical conditions. Some may be restricted from exercise, even moderate one since any improper movement may kill them instead of save their lives. Some should be suggested to exercise to intense degree and exercise outdoors, such as the patients who have troubles of obesity and some disease concerning breathing system. Thus the doctors have to examine the situation of every patient to give the most suitable advice on exercise.

In conclusion, the argument although at the first glance to be sound and persuasive, commits several serious logical fallacies. The speaker should provide more evidence proving the survey could represent the general opinions of most people. Also more detailed evidence should be offered to persuade people that the correlation between the violent exercise and longevity is really a causal one.
【这篇argu算是比较成功的。基本的错误都反驳了，分析的也比较到位，语言也是很好的。加油！】