21号第一次考雅思。求各位大牛帮忙改一下。随便提点具体的意见啊、很急谢啦~

sky念柒UID：3283803

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowdays,a increasing number of people concern more about the education of universities.Some of them think that the numbers of female students should equal to their male competitors in any subject of colleges.They are all a essential part of our society,so we should treat them equally in every espect,including in choosing any subject of universities.

At the same time,students may behave better in their courses with their heterosexual companies.In the equal numbers of male anf female students in the same class,students will become more incentive and active when they help with each other.Because of the different ways of thinking about things,they can learn something different from other hererosexual friends,which will be beneficial to their progression and improvement.

On the other hand,there are various aspects against these argument,Not all subjects are suitable for both boys and girls,we should dicide the amount of male and female students according to the economic realities and the need of society.For instance,some courses,such as Mechanical Manufacture and Automation  and Mining,need more labours to complish in the real practise.It may be a big challenge for girls to do,while their competitors will do it well.But for other subjuet,such as nursing,girls will have relative merits because of their patience and carefulness by nature.If we must require the same numbers in the whole subjects established in our colleges,it may be inefficient and will gradually lose the competitiveness in the repid develop world since we do not take full advantage of everyone`s talent and ability.

In conlusion,not each subject contains an equal numbers of male and female students.The amount of students should depend on what the subject is,who it need and whether it can boost the certain indusity`s development,Only have these aspects considered can our society more effective and productive.

bqianaUID：193168

6-6.5

sky念柒UID：3283803

6-6.5
bqiana 发表于 2012-4-4 14:30

谢谢版主啦。。
能给说下具体有哪些不足吗，我一直都不敢动笔些，真心感谢啦。。

sky念柒UID：3283803

6-6.5
bqiana 发表于 2012-4-4 14:30

谢谢版主啦。。
能给说下具体有哪些不足吗，我一直都不敢动笔些，真心感谢啦。。

leivs88UID：3172580

2# bqiana


I support universities should enroll both genders in every subject but it is hard to calculate equal numbers.

It sounds ridiculous, if every subject does not have equal numbers in men and women, will it be canceled? Everyone has different interests in diverse areas. Suppose that universities only open classes when they have equal numbers, someone must sacrifice their interests and devote lots time and money, which seems unfair. It is reported that men are good at science and math while women are more likely to be experts in language and literature. We should teach students in accordance with aptitude, not quantity but quality. Those who lose confidence in what they want to learn. As a consequence, they will skip the class, plagiarize dissertations and so forth. They will bring some unstable factors to the society, maybe the school crime rate will increase. When they graduate, they will stay at home rather than find a job.  On contrast, universities need numerous students which indicate its difficult circumstance like lack of money. Excellent universities are never afraid of saying no students coming. There is no evidence in the world which can clearly define how many men and women should stay together in a subject.

I advocate that women should be encouraged to take part in science and politics which are considered as a man's profession. In the last century, the woman's movement has received huge success in history. Women have the freedom to go to schools, have vote, even to be a prime minister. Also I deem that men should be engaged in nurse course. According to a report from WHO, we need 100 million men around the wrold.


Therefore, I would argue that it is not a good idea to force universities to accept equal numbers of male and female students on each course. I believe that it is far better to let people choose which courses they preferred to allow universities to accept based on their merits.

bqianaUID：193168

少用‘高级’词汇