作文思考：科技与生活

bqianaUID：193168

学生：以下是篇习作，请各位指教，打分。

我一边写，一边在思考是否走题？因为我并没有明确的概念什么是 earlier technology ，中国的四大发明是 earlier technology ，但电话，冰箱，飞机就不是 earlier technology 吗？这个相对的时间点题目没明确，我也就认为它是较早的技术了。但我太没把握。-----请各位老师及同学指教！不胜感谢。

Some people think that the earlier technology has changed our life more than the recent technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is a trend that the development of technology has been rapidly. New inventions have been gradually growing. As a result, some people may say that the recent technology has changed our life more than the earlier one. Personally, I doubt whether the argument can hold water. I am in support of the opinion that the earlier technology has changed our life more than the recent one.

On the one hand, to the large amount of people, the earlier technology has brought huge influence. It is much more convenient for lots of people to use those earlier inventions, including but not limited the fridge and telephone, to operate their routine life. To put price and popularity into perspective, the price of the earlier technology tends to be cheaper, comparing to the new production of the recent technology. Consequently, the popularity is higher. That is to say, it is the lives of more people that have been changed by the earlier technology. Moreover, some recent technologies are not connected with host of people, for example, the invention of airplane, which be regarded as the recent technology, indeed only benefits some people, but not the large amounts of people.

On the other hand, the earlier technologies, from the utility of fire to the discovery of agriculture farming to the making tools with copper and other metal materials, make the huge progress of human being itself. The earlier technology is the base of most of the recent one. The aims of several recent technologies are to make the original even much faster, larger. From this point of view, their power of influence toward human being is less than the earlier technology, which is brand-new and revolutionary.

Taking into consideration what I have mentioned above, it can easier to come to the conclusion that it is the earlier technology, rather other the recent one, that contributes to our life.

bqiana：

一边倒的很厉害啊，题目的观点其实说的很含糊，earlier的定义是什么，recent的定义又是什么？

客观分析，凡是技术发明，在任何历史时期，都对人类产生深远的影响，从四大发明，到互联网，克隆...

一定要打破写作一边倒的思维惯性，从自己的生活中找寻答案，而不是为了写作而写作，跳出框架，这样行文才更有力，更有写的激情

用词用句还是不错的，虽然套话用的多了些，细察高手写的英文原版，发现是不太用‘首先，其次’‘一方面，另一方面’的。6分是有的！继续努力！

学生： Many thanks.

I still have a question.向这种Do you agree or disagree? 的题型，我们不是一般可以写成I agree 或I do not agree吗？这样一定就是一边到了，不能脚踩两只船啊。我仔细体味您的指点，领悟到可以写两边都写好的只要在最后一段写明自己的观点即可。----心得可否正确？

By the way, I noticed it is you who have answered my questions several times.Again, many thanks for  your time and help.

Lucyzq2002:

是否一般倒,我这里有个帖子,类似的问题供你参考

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 1%26filter%3Ddigest

用词不错.有一些语法错误和表达有误.(on one hand ,on the other hand等,楼主第一句就有问题,恕不穷举.)

感觉楼主文章的内容,没怎么出来.如果符以适当举例,可以更加饱满些.无论何时的发明,都有其利弊.发明给社会带来的效用,不是以时间作为划分的.

学生：感激不尽。

我也发现了我第一句的问题。我听说第一句有语法问题，平分是6分往下。能否进一步赐教关于on the one hand ,on the other hand的表达有误问题，我知道这种表达是臭了街的，俗不可耐，但好象在语法上还好了

bqiana：

On one hand, On the other hand
本身没有问题，多读写原版的文章就知道如何使用了

[ Last edited by bqiana on 2005-5-17 at 21:50 ]

julliarUID：2102623

Haha! you post my essay here. That is fine. By the way, I register for this website just because I find you are here!
How about my another eaasy? By the way, my examination date is coming, 21st May.

julliarUID：2102623

对了，我还发现我最后一句有中式英语倾向！改成：It is 21st May for me to take part in the IELTS exam.是不是好点？？？？？？

bqianaUID：193168

Welcome aboard!

'By the way, my examination date is coming, on May 21st.' is good enough.

julliarUID：2102623

THANKS!

lucy_zq2002UID：177408

加油!ms这个帖子我刚才转重复了,抱歉!大家还是看这个把

zmdtkUID：198059

写到这样的行文，还只是6分的水准啊，那我只有5分的可能了，5555555，大哭，伤心。

我感觉作者主体不错啊，就是on the hand...还有最后一句，这样的架构挺像套了模板的