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发表于 2009-7-21 02:20:11 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
题目：ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
字数：457          用时：00:27:20          日期：2009-7-21 2:18:18
In this argument, the author conclude that deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across frozen sea cause the decline in arctic deer populations. To support this conclusion, the author cites the results from reports from local hunters as basis to claims that the deer populations are declining. Also, the author provides that recent global warming trends caused the sea ice to melt to strength the author's assumption. It seems that those evidences could support the conclusion strongly, however, after careful examination in those evidences, reveals it tends little cridible and convincing.
First of all, the accuracy of the reports from local hunters could be cast doubt on. The author cites the results from those reports as basis to support his conclusion, but the author didn't provide any detail information about those reports like where the hunters find out that deer populations are decreasing. It is highly possibility that in some place the populations of deers are declining surely and in other area, it was increasing. In this sight, the results from those reports make the conclusion groundless and unconvincing.
Secondly, the global warming trends may have no influence on the specific region mentioned by the author. In this argument, the author just cites that some reports show that global warming trends would cause the sea ice to melt, but the author didn't provide any evidences that global warming would effect on the areas where the arcitc deer lived. In this matter, we couldn't assert that the globals warming would cause the decreasing of the deer populations indirectly.
Thirdly, the change in climate patterns does not necessarily lead to the decline in deer population, deer may adapt themselves to the new weather by certain means. We knows that one of animals' abilites is that they can adapt themselves to the new enviroments when the enviroment was changed. Also, the author could provide any information about whether the deer adapted the new weather or not. So that we could conclude the deer populations was decreasing because they couldn't adapt the new weather.
Finally, even if the populations of deers was decreasing, however, it may be caused by other factors, not because the global warming trends. As we know, the populations of animals was decreasing could be caused by the food, natural enemy and so on. Maybe those things could casue the same results. It makes the conclusion little credible and founded.
To sum up, the conclusion lack credibility because those evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author claims. To strength the argument, the author should provide more information about whether the local hunters' reports is accuately or not and whether the deer would adapt the new weather or not.
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发表于 2009-7-21 06:46:56 |只看该作者
题目：ARGUMENT238 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.

"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."
字数：468          用时：00:24:17          日期：2009-7-21 6:46:01

In this argument, the author claims that the Mira Vista College should offer more business courses and job conunselors so that they could help  their graduates find employment. To support this conclusion, the author provide that the nearby Creen Mountain College, which has more business courses and job conunselors, made their more graduates had job offers. It seems like those evidence could support the conclusion strongly and founded, however, after careful examination in this arugment, reveals it was less credible and convincing.

First of all , the author didn't provide any detail information about the graduates of the two college. It is highly doubte that the graduates from the Green Mountain College could have more business offers than those from the Mira Vista College. Perhaps, graduates from the Mira Vista College was more than those from the Green Mountain College, in this sight, we couldn't conclude that 90 percent of graduating seniors from the Grren Mountain College had more job offers. It is highly possible that the number of graduates from the Mira Vista College was much more than the Green Mountain College graduates, so that 70 percent of the seniors' job offers also may more than the 90 percent of the seniors' job offers. So that it makes the argument groundless and incredibility.

Secondly, the author fails to consider the different between the Mira Vista College and the Green Mountain College. Even if the graduates from those two college, however, there are also other factors could cause the same results. For example, the Green Mountain College could be more famous than the Mira Vista College, in this sight, it is surely that employers perfer the seniors graduated from the Green Mountain College more than the Mira Vista College. So that, we couldn't assert that the different numbers of the job offers just depending on the Green Mountain College have more bussiness courses and more job counselors.

Finally, the author fails to establish the relationship between the Green Mountain College have more business courses and job counselors and the Green Mountain College have more job offers than the Mira Vista College. It is highly doubt that other courses could influence the number of the job offers, like management courses. Grounding on the author didn't provide any information about other courses, we couldn't conclude that the number of the job offers have relationship with the business courses and job counselors.

To sum up, the conclusion lack credibility because those evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author claims. To strength the argument, the author should provide more information about those two colleges. like the number of the seniors who was graduated. Also, the author should provide some evidences to support the business courses and job counselors could increase the number of job offers.
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发表于 2009-7-21 20:55:05 |只看该作者
题目：ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
字数：457          用时：00:27:20          日期：2009-7-21 2:18:18
In this argument, the author concludes that arctic deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across frozen sea cause the decline in arctic deer its populations. To support this conclusion, the author cites the results from reports from local hunters as basis to claim that the deer populations are declining. Also, the author provides that the recent global warming trends which caused the sea ice melting to strength the author's his assumption. It seems that those evidences could support the conclusion strongly, however, after careful examination in those evidences, reveals it tends little credible and convincing. 【开头太笨重了，严重有凑字的嫌疑，而且句子有点生硬，赤果果模板的痕迹】

First of all,【虽然这个用法没错，但是老是first、second、third，能不能对rater有那么一点点同情心？】 the accuracy of the reports from local hunters could be cast doubt on. 【这个似乎一直是主动语态的，不知道对不对>.<】The author cites the results from those reports as basis to support his conclusion, but the author didn't provide any detailed information about those reports like where the hunters find out that deer populations are decreasing. It is highly possible that in some place the populations of deers are declining surely but in other areas are increasing. In this sight, the results from those reports make the conclusion groundless and unconvincing.【关于批survey的，我个人还是比较感冒，所以这段我持保留意见，感觉有点牵强】

Secondly, the global warming trends may have no influence on the specific region mentioned by the author. In this argument, 【这个词组出现的频率太欠抽打了，严重凑字】the author just cites that some reports show that global warming trends would cause the sea ice to melt, but the author didn't provide any evidences that global warming would effect on the areas where the arcitc deer lived. In this matter, we couldn't assert that the globals warming would cause the decreasing of the deer populations indirectly.

Thirdly, the change in climate patterns does not necessarily lead to the decline in deer population, deer may adapt themselves to the new weather by certain means. 【Chiglish】We all know that one of animals' abilites is that they can adapt themselves to the new enviroments when the enviroment is changed. Also,【开头用过了。。用besides吧】 the author couldn't provide any information about whether the deer adapted the new weather or not, or we could conclude the deer populations were decreasing because they couldn't adapt the new weather.

Finally, even if the populations of deers were decreasing, however, it may be caused by other factors, not because the global warming trends. 【Chiglish】As we known, the populations of animals were decreasing could be caused by the food, natural enemy and so on. Maybe those things could casue the same results. It makes the conclusion little credible and founded.

To sum up, the conclusion lack credibility because those evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author claims. To strength the argument, the author should provide more information about whether the local hunters' reports is accuately or not and whether the deer would adapt the new weather or not.
Believe your believes, that's it.

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地板
发表于 2009-7-21 20:58:35 |只看该作者
okay，这个题挺难的，小C你等等，我理个逻辑链给你
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发表于 2009-7-22 08:21:17 |只看该作者
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发表于 2009-7-22 15:59:50 |只看该作者
题目：ARGUMENT203 - The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.

"At the small, nonprofit hospital in the town of Saluda, the average length of a patient's stay is two days; at the large, for-profit hospital in the nearby city of Megaville, the average patient stay is six days. Also, the cure rate among patients in the Saluda hospital is about twice that of the Megaville hospital. The Saluda hospital has more employees per patient than the hospital in Megaville, and there are few complaints about service at the local hospital. Such data indicate that treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospitals is more economical and of better quality than treatment in larger, for-profit hospitals."
字数：476          用时：00:29:28          日期：2009/7/22 15:59:35

Grounding on compare a small, nonprofit hospital which is locate in the town of Saluda, with the Megaville hospital, which is large and for profit, the author claims that treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospitals is more economical and of better quality than in larger, for-profit hospitals. In addition, the author provides the Saluda hospital has more employees per patient and less complaints about the service. It seems that those evidence could support the conclusion strongly and cogently, however, after careful examination, I have to say those evidences could support little credbile and convincing to the conclusion.

In general, the shorter average length of patient's stay  and the higher cure rate couldn't indicate that the quality of treatment in Saluda hospital would better than the Megaville hospital. The author fails to consider other factors would inflence the average length of patient's stay and the cure rate. Like the author provides, the Saluda hospital is a small and nonprofit hospital, we could assume that the Saluda hospital could be able to cure those simply disease like cold or cough, it couldn't heal some complex illness like cancer which is lower cure rate and should cost the patient's more days to stay in the hospital. In this sight, we couldn't assert that the Saluda hospital could heal us in lower times and high cure rate. So that, it makes the conclusion groundless and unfounded.

Secondly, more employees per patient and fewer complaints couldn't indicate that the treatment in the Saluda hospital is better than that in Megavill hospital. The author provides that the Saluda hospital have more employees per patient, in other word, it reveals that the Saluda hospital cure people in  inefficiency ways. Beside, the evidence of lower complaints couldn't indicate anything. Maybe most patient didn't compaint any thing in public ways, who knows? Without any detail information the patients who were cured, we couldn't assert that those low complaints could repersentative to the all patient are satisfy the Saluda hospital's service.

Finally, the author fails to provide the actual expenditures of patients in the two hospitals, thus the assumption that treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospital is more economical is unwarranted. It is surely that cure some simply illness in the Saluda would cost fewer than in the Megaville hospital, however, other illness which is not simple, would cost more than in the Megaville hospital. Without any information about the actual expenditures of patients with different illness, we couldn't consider that treat in smaller and nonprofits hospital would more economical.

To sum up, the conclusion lack credibility because those evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author conclude. To strength the argument, the author should provide more information about the difference between those two kind of hospital. Also, the author should consider the disimilarity of the way to heal the different illness.
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发表于 2009-7-22 16:50:02 |只看该作者
题目：ARGUMENT37 - Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been unique to the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could only have crossed it by boat, but there is no evidence that the Paleans had boats. And boats capable of carrying groups of people and cargo were not developed until thousands of years after the Palean people disappeared. Moreover, Paleans would have had no need to cross the river-the woods around Palea are full of nuts, berries, and small game. It follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not unique to Palea.
字数：571          用时：00:28:13          日期：2009/7/22 16:49:52

Grounding on archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Pales recently and the Brim River is too deep and broad to the ancient Paleans crossed it by boat, the author concluded that the so-called Palean baskets were not unique to Palea. In addition, the author provide that no evidece that the Paleans had boats to strength the conclusion. It seems that those evidences could support the conclusion strongly and cogently, however, after careful examination, I find out that those evidences support little credible and unconvincing.

First of all, the author fails to consider that the Palean basket would arravied in Lithos through other means. We know that ancient human beings often trade in different place, in this sight, it is highly possible that the Palean basket was founded in the Lithos just because the Palean people use it to trade with the Lithos' residents. Beside, the Lithos' residents could also gain the Palean basket in other ways, like war. Without any information about the Palea and the Lithos in trade and war, we couldn't assert that the Palean basket, which was found in the Lithos, was made by the Lithos' residents.

Secondly, the Brim River is very deep and broad couldn't indicate that this river was deep and broad in the ancient age. It is highly possible that the Brim River was not deep and broad in the ancient age, in this matter, the Palean could cross the river without boat and brought the Palean baskets to the Lithos. Without any inforamtion about the river in the ancient times, we couldn't assumes that the river was deep and broad as same as the modern times.

Thirdly, even if the Brim River was very deep and broad in ancient times and no evidence could support that the Paleans had boat to cross the river, however, we could assert the Paleans surely had no technology to build boat and use those boats to cross the river. As the author provides, archaeologists just didn't find out any evidences to support the Paleans had boat. It doesn't indicate that the Paleans had no boat, maybe they had boat and cross the river to trade or war with the Lithos, who knows? Without any evidences could support the Paleans surely had no boat, we couldn't assert that Paleans couldn't cross the river.

Finally, the author fails to establish the relationships between the Palea place full of nuts, berries and small game with the Paleans would have no need to cross the river. It is turely that the place of the Palea could make the Paleans lived well, but the author didn't provide any evidences to support that Paleans could live just depending on those nuts, berries and small games. Maybe they need another tings which the place of the Palea didn't had, they have to cross the river and use the Palean basket to trade with Lithos. So that it makes the conclusion groudless and unfounded.

To sum up, the conclusion lack credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author conclude. To strength the conclusion, the author should provide some evidences to proof that the Palean had no boat and they didn't trade with the Lithos or war with the Lithos. Also, the author should proof that the Brim River is deep and broad in the ancient times.
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发表于 2009-7-22 16:58:51 |只看该作者
题目：ARGUMENT203 - The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.

"At the small, nonprofit hospital in the town of Saluda, the average length of a patient's stay is two days; at the large, for-profit hospital in the nearby city of Megaville, the average patient stay is six days. Also, the cure rate among patients in the Saluda hospital is about twice that of the Megaville hospital. The Saluda hospital has more employees per patient than the hospital in Megaville, and there are few complaints about service at the local hospital. Such data indicate that treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospitals is more economical and of better quality than treatment in larger, for-profit hospitals."


字数：476          用时：00:29:28          日期：2009/7/22 15:59:35

Grounding on compare a small, nonprofit hospital which is locate in the town of Saluda, with the Megaville hospital, which is large and for profit, the author claims that treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospitals is more economical and of better quality than in larger, for-profit hospitals. 【压缩，信息提炼，开头是展现给rater看你的逻辑组织能力的好地方，不要单纯照搬题干】 In addition, the author provides the Saluda hospital has more employees per patient and less complaints about the service. 【这句话看完有信息断层的感觉，让人很自然的会问，“so what?”这个是不可取的，改掉】It seems that those evidences 【单复数拼写错误很XX，尽量要提醒自己】 could support the conclusion strongly and cogently, however, after careful examination, I have to say those evidences could support 【重复，建议用could lead】little credbile and convincing to the conclusion. 【重复】

In general, the shorter average length of patient's stay  and the higher cure rate couldn't indicate that the quality of treatment in Saluda hospital would better than the Megaville hospital. 【TS一定务必力求做到trenchant！！】The author fails to consider other factors which would influence the average length of patient's stay and the cure rate. Like the author provides【这句再润色一下吧还是觉得好Chiglish额 >.<】, the Saluda hospital is a small and nonprofit hospital, we could assume that the Saluda hospital could be able to cure those simply disease like cold or cough, it couldn't heal some complex illness like cancer which is lower cure rate and should cost the patient's more days to stay in the hospital. 【可以从faculty跟facilities的角度出发，必须交代清楚你的inference过程，不要让rater问why，医院小就不能cure那些复杂的难治愈的diseases，为什么？后面的东西都要写出来的，不要想当然】In this sight, we couldn't assert that the Saluda hospital could heal us in lower times and high cure rate. So that, it makes the conclusion groundless and unfounded.【虽然没错，可是感觉这句话可有可无，建议跟上一句拼成一个长句比较营养】

Secondly, more employees per patient and fewer complaints couldn't indicate that the treatment in the Saluda hospital is better than that in Megavill hospital. 【跟上一段一样的问题】The author provides that the Saluda hospital have more employees per patient, in other words, it reveals that the Saluda hospital cure people in  inefficiency ways. 【请用正常的思维再考虑一遍你自己这句话，如果摆在现实生活中，这话说得讨打伐？】Besides, the evidence of lower complaints couldn't indicate anything.【不要轻易下结论，在你还没有提供任何cogent的evidence之前，这只能暴露你自己的flaws，赤果果地冲上去讨打】 Maybe most patients didn't compaint anything in public ways, who knows? 【不要乱用反问，在你还没有办法熟练驾驭逻辑语言之前】Without any detailed information the patients who were cured, we couldn't assert that those low complaints could repersentative to the all patient are satisfy the Saluda hospital's service.【几个切入点都找到了，语言要重新组织】

Finally, the author fails to provide the actual expenditures of patients in the two hospitals, thus, he assumes that treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospital is more economical is unwarranted. 【这个TS写得很不好，切入点其实也找到了，就是针对同一种病情的收费，我们不知道，无从比较】It is surely 【这个表达很别扭】that cure some simple【注意词性】 illness in the Saluda would cost fewer than in the Megaville hospital, however, other illness which is not simple【complicated不行么？】, would cost more than in the Megaville hospital. Without 【表述单一，换种说法吧】any information about the actual expenditures of patients with different illness, we couldn't consider that treat in smaller and nonprofits hospital would more economical.

To sum up, the conclusion lack credibility because those evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author conclude. To strength the argument, the author should provide more information about the difference between those two kind of hospital. Also, the author should consider the disimilarity of the way to heal the different illness.
Believe your believes, that's it.

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发表于 2009-7-22 23:18:26 |只看该作者
题目：ISSUE88 - "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
字数：525          用时：00:38:49          日期：2009/7/22 23:17:11

With the technology and science rapidly and enormously developing, world has been changed and made our life become more and more conveniently than before. We also witness the transformation in custom of community and the ethics of epoch dissimilated from the past. Is that difference was caused just by technologies? Admittedly, to some extent, maybe yes, however, development of technology not only influence and determine the social custom and ethics but also be affected and decided by them both.

To begin with, the development of techonlogy brings us great benefits and cause large changes to our traditional custom at the same time. Take a look back at how can we get the news. At an earlier time, we should wait for newspapers have been published and sold. Also we could watch TV or listen to the radio to get the news, however, because the print of newspaper and creating the video or voice need cost times, we couldn't get the fresh news. Nowadays, no matter where the event happen, the detail information will appear in the Internet rapidly and speedy. There are many methods which we could use to gain the information like the Twitter, Facebook, Google Reader and so on. Even the tradtional news corporations begin to creat a window in the Twitter, which is the biggest mirco-blog website in the world, as their official speaker to broadcast the breaking news. For example, when the Iranian presidential election was processing, the Twitter reported this election rapidly and timely and made many people paid attention to it. In short, the development of technology change our life and customs.

Moreover, our social ethics would also be influenced by the development of techonlogy more or less. As we know, the development of technology not only change our material world but also the our mental world. Like in the Middle Age, people didn't have enough knowledge about human's body and they believe only the God have ability to create, distory the human's body, so that the research in human's body by our human beings was forbidden by the government. But nowadays, with the medicinal techonlogy developming, all we know the structure of human's body, we also understand that remains would helpful to some uncured people, so that remains donation is regard as the embodiment of admirable and respectable. In this sight, we would find out that the technology make our ethics become dissimilarity than before.

In addtion, the development of techonlogy also would be effect, controled and restricted by our custom and ethics. In our history, we would find many researches were determined by the social custom and ethics. Like the technology of cloning, people afraid that when a cloned man depend on someone's DNA, the relationship between the prototype and the cloned would sink into chaos. In this matter, our society would become instability, for keeping our society orderly, people restrict the way we use the clone techonlogy by social ethics and customs.

In sum, both the techonlogies, the social custom and the social ethics would influence and determine by each other. We should find a balance way amony them and make human civilization improve and harmonize.
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发表于 2009-7-22 23:26:44 |只看该作者
疯狂模考的某只。。。给你UP一下。。。睡觉去了。。。。倒塌。。。
Believe your believes, that's it.

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apolo
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11楼
发表于 2009-7-22 23:51:15 |只看该作者
突然发现这几篇A的写作时间都不在常人活动的时间……

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12楼
发表于 2009-7-23 00:27:45 |只看该作者
题目：ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
字数：619          用时：00:43:42          日期：2009/7/23 0:27:32

With the techonolgy and science making our civilization and society change rapidly and enormously, humans and societies have become more and more complex and difference than before. Can we recognize human's attitude and interests through their look, dress and act, even cognize the society depending on observe the appearance and behavior of its people? Admittedly, to some degree, maybe yes, we could recoginze humans or society just based on their external appearance and behavior, however, those observations couldn't reflect the real people and society.

To begin with, sometimes, we ofter judge people just depending on the way they look, dress and act, even judge the society in this method. In our mind, we think that the appearance and behavior could reveal the person or society more or less, so that when we in a new society or contact with a stranger, we cognize them by those things frequently. For example, when we look at a man, who wears western style suit and leather shoes, we may think that  this man is a gentle man and going for his goals at high level of the society, those kind man would never wear like a beggar. In other hand, when we see a person, who was wearing glasses and bringing a leather pack, we may consider that this man is a college professor and knowledgeable. It is the reason why the First Impression becom more and more improtant in our contemporary world. Similarly, society consists of human beings, we could also initially recognize the society throught its individual's behavior and appearances more or less. Like we often cognize that the northern USA society was hate the black people before the 1890s because its residents hate and persecute the black people in that time.

However, because we couldn't recognize people or society objectively and more or less with some our own attitudes, we couldn't understand the essence of a stranger and new society just throught the appearance and behavior. People cognize the person or soceity with their own ideals and attitudes usually, it would cause that the real person and society is dissimilarity with those we thought. Like the example I mention before, it is highly possible that the man wears western style suit and leather shoes because he has to find a position to make his family have enough money to survive. Also, the man wears a pair of glasses doesn't mean anything, just because he has eye illness. Who knows? Without communicating with others deeply, we couldn't know their real attitudes, thoughts and ideals even cognize them in wrong ways. For example, someone hate a man who wears fashion clothes, he may thought that a fashionable man is ignorant, when he has to contact a man who wears fashionable, he would feel uncomfortable and hate even cognize this person is ignorant firstly. But it is highly doubt that this fashionable person was an honest and brave man. As same as we recognize people, society also couldn't be defined only by its external appearance and its individual's behavior, for example, it is truly that before the 1860s, the society of the south USA lokked like very hate the black people, but we know that a huge part of citizen of the south society had help many black people escape to the north secretly.

Thus, if we want to recognize the essence of a person and a society, we should not only throught their external appearance and behavior but also some internal things. Shakespeare once said: there are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes. In this sight, it is hardly to define a person or a society objectively, so that the deeper contact is central and crucial for revealing essences.
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13楼
发表于 2009-7-23 13:20:26 |只看该作者
9# CMGS
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发表于 2009-7-23 14:12:13 |只看该作者
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这篇没怎么改，和上次相比好多了
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15楼
发表于 2009-7-24 00:14:51 |只看该作者
题目：ARGUMENT169 - The following appeared in a letter from a department chairperson to the president of Pierce University.

"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire staff, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannot expect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouses have a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our offers."
字数：408          用时：00:26:15          日期：2009/7/24 0:14:38

In this argument, the author recommends that Pierce University should offer employment to each faculty member's spouse. To support this recommendation, the author cites the results from some studies conducted by Bronston College as basis to claims that the professors both male and female would be happier living in small town if their spouses were also have a job in the same town. It seems that those evidences could support the conclusion strongly and cogently, however, after careful examination, I find out that it reveals little credible and convincing.

First of all, the chairperson fails to consider the possible differences between Bronston College and Pierce University, thus merely copying Bronston's activity may not be same effective at Pierce. It is truly that the Broston College is located in a small town as well as the Pierce University, but the author didn't provide any detailed information about those tow place. Maybe the dissimilarity of custom, ethics and environment would make the activity inefficient at Pierce. Therefore, we couldn't assert that the Pierce University take the same activity as the Bronston College would make the same results.

Secondly, even if the Bronston's activity would have same effect in the Pierce University, however, the chairperson fails to consider many other relevant factors that may influence new professors' decision. It is no doubt that the spouse's employment is a very important element for people to consider, we couldn't ignore other factors like wage, insurance, working place and so on would also effect people and those factors may be more improtant. So that it makes the recommendation become groundless and unfounded.

Finally, the chairperson fails to consider if the university has the capability of offering employment to the spouse of every new faculty member. Maybe this activity could attract the most gifted teachers and researchers , whereas it is highly doubt that the Pierce University could support enough employment to their spouses, in this sight, it make that the feasibility of the recommendation become unconvincing.

To sum up,  the recommendation lack credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author recommends. To strength the recommendation, the author should provide some evidences to proof that the Bronston's activity would cause the same results in the Pierce University and the gifed teachers and researches would be happy to accpet their offer. Also, the author should provide that the pierce University could supply enough employment to their spouses.
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