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[作文] Daily Writing - xieqy0326 [复制链接]

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楼主
发表于 2011-7-25 22:40:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
新手上路,留个脚印!
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沙发
发表于 2011-7-27 14:25:50 |只看该作者
wilsonchen2011修改,希望对你有帮助!
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不要丝毫懈怠!

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板凳
发表于 2011-7-29 21:52:20 |只看该作者
不好意思,这么才回复,希望不要介意啊,我很认真的额改的啊
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地板
发表于 2011-7-30 02:36:26 |只看该作者
4# 幕阳素素
恩,谢谢你哈!很好的建议,加油~~

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发表于 2011-8-3 05:01:37 |只看该作者
2# xieqy0326

第2段, IN CONTRAST这句语法错.

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发表于 2011-8-3 05:02:50 |只看该作者
2# xieqy0326


for the health of the trees in the long run instead of "for the longer time health of forest".

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发表于 2011-8-3 05:05:43 |只看该作者
用词上还不是很地道, 不知道练了多久了.

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发表于 2011-8-3 07:50:32 |只看该作者
9# Fruit~
才开始,哈哈。建议很好,加油~~

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发表于 2011-8-3 13:21:06 |只看该作者
给你改好啦

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发表于 2011-8-4 11:01:08 |只看该作者
改好了
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发表于 2011-8-4 14:01:52 |只看该作者
提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽
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发表于 2011-8-4 20:29:43 |只看该作者
非常感谢  after90sundae和fyxloveu(F君),你们给我的建议很好。

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发表于 2011-8-4 21:12:48 |只看该作者


8月2号得文章,做了一些修改,期待一起讨论
20090807NA Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than help determine children's future.

When it comes to the issue of whether (that) parents should determine the children’s future or not, there is no doubt that parents should not substitute their children to make choices. On the other hand, it is necessary for parents to help their children to make a good decision, because of children being lack of experience.

In the first place, only in the way (that )children’s own decisions (that) could make them the host of their life. that 放在这里减少歧义 Nowadays many parents would sent their children to different kinds of classes, such as painting, piano or others, and also (push) force? the kids to get a good result in (the) school. We can image that there are several possibilities: for instance, the first one is that the kids could not undertake so much work; the other is that he(they) would do a good job in class but lose their own time with other kids. Then the kids will not know how to communicate with each other effectively. It is crucial to make the kids recognize it is their own responsibility to make a decision. In this way, children could figure out what is the important thing in that moment.

Unfortunately, many parents put their own dreams which not come true on their offspring. It is very common that parents determine their children’s future in the modern life. This behavior should be criticized, even through parents may be unconscious. In this way, the kids will lose themselves, and children’s life will be the second life of parents. It is unfair to deprive (children of their) children’s opportunities to live their own life.

In my opinion, parents should assist their kids to make a suitable decision, but not determine their future. I claim that parents play an important part in children’s life. They could give kids crucial advice which could ensure kids make the right decision. To pay more attention to their children’s future is indispensable.

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发表于 2011-8-6 22:20:28 |只看该作者
开始写作不久  昨天的作文延误到现在真的很抱歉
byebye一会儿下下来 明早贴上改过的
请勿嫌弃~~!!
这个是byebye的作文 欢迎批改~!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1292096-1-1.html
冷暖自知,童话换一个角度发生

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发表于 2011-8-6 22:56:15 |只看该作者
来了~
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[fly]路一直都在 [/fly]

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RE: Daily Writing - xieqy0326 [修改]
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