Daily Writing - xieqy0326

xieqy0326UID: 2653877

新手上路，留个脚印！

wilsonchen2011UID: 3137568

wilsonchen2011修改，希望对你有帮助！

幕阳素素UID: 3025800

不好意思，这么才回复，希望不要介意啊，我很认真的额改的啊

xieqy0326UID: 2653877

4# 幕阳素素
恩，谢谢你哈！很好的建议，加油~~

Fruit~UID: 2559265

2# xieqy0326

第2段, IN CONTRAST这句语法错.

Fruit~UID: 2559265

2# xieqy0326


for the health of the trees in the long run instead of "for the longer time health of forest".

Fruit~UID: 2559265

用词上还不是很地道, 不知道练了多久了.

xieqy0326UID: 2653877

9# Fruit~
才开始，哈哈。建议很好，加油~~

lisq9989UID: 2110509

给你改好啦

8.2 xieqy0326独立 -放飞的小鸟修改.doc (34 KB, 下载次数: 17)

2011-8-3 13:21:06 上传

下载次数: 17

after90sundaeUID: 3132327

改好了

xieqy0326UID: 2653877

非常感谢  after90sundae和fyxloveu(F君)，你们给我的建议很好。

bill5865UID: 3109557

8月2号得文章，做了一些修改，期待一起讨论
20090807NA Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than help determine children's future.

When it comes to the issue of whether (that) parents should determine the children’s future or not, there is no doubt that parents should not substitute their children to make choices. On the other hand, it is necessary for parents to help their children to make a good decision, because of children being lack of experience.

In the first place, only in the way (that )children’s own decisions (that) could make them the host of their life. that 放在这里减少歧义 Nowadays many parents would sent their children to different kinds of classes, such as painting, piano or others, and also (push) force? the kids to get a good result in (the) school. We can image that there are several possibilities: for instance, the first one is that the kids could not undertake so much work; the other is that he(they) would do a good job in class but lose their own time with other kids. Then the kids will not know how to communicate with each other effectively. It is crucial to make the kids recognize it is their own responsibility to make a decision. In this way, children could figure out what is the important thing in that moment.

Unfortunately, many parents put their own dreams which not come true on their offspring. It is very common that parents determine their children’s future in the modern life. This behavior should be criticized, even through parents may be unconscious. In this way, the kids will lose themselves, and children’s life will be the second life of parents. It is unfair to deprive (children of their) children’s opportunities to live their own life.

In my opinion, parents should assist their kids to make a suitable decision, but not determine their future. I claim that parents play an important part in children’s life. They could give kids crucial advice which could ensure kids make the right decision. To pay more attention to their children’s future is indispensable.

byebyehakuUID: 3124349

开始写作不久  昨天的作文延误到现在真的很抱歉
byebye一会儿下下来 明早贴上改过的
请勿嫌弃~~！！
这个是byebye的作文 欢迎批改~！
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1292096-1-1.html

wendychuengUID: 2811319

来了~ 8.5 独立 xieqy0326---revised by wendy .doc (18.5 KB, 下载次数: 7)

2011-8-6 22:56:15 上传

下载次数: 7