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[作文] 【独立写作】Darren的作业贴 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-10-23 10:53:33 |只看该作者
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发表于 2012-10-23 14:09:51 |只看该作者
1022已改



为梦想加油!
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发表于 2012-10-23 16:14:47 |只看该作者
elisawuliang 发表于 2012-10-23 10:53
修改好了。

亲···没看到附件啊·····

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发表于 2012-10-23 17:04:49 |只看该作者
feihong76 发表于 2012-10-23 14:09
1022已改

好像是有好几种写法,其中一种是空4~5个空格,顶格写的也有

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发表于 2012-10-23 17:15:23 |只看该作者
Darren_Van 发表于 2012-10-23 17:04
好像是有好几种写法,其中一种是空4~5个空格,顶格写的也有

哦.

我看TPO阅读里的都是顶格写的.

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发表于 2012-10-23 17:24:29 |只看该作者
feihong76 发表于 2012-10-23 17:15
哦.

我看TPO阅读里的都是顶格写的.

soga···反正我上次考试就是空4个空格,有的作文书也降了这个格式问题~嗯嗯

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备考先锋

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发表于 2012-10-26 09:01:23 |只看该作者
加油
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美版2016offer达人 IBT Zeal IBT Smart IBT Elegance 2016 US-applicant

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发表于 2012-10-28 23:03:15 |只看该作者
10.16

Which of the following three factors contributes to an enjoyable vacation most? A good food. B.good location. C good friends with you.

Among all these three significant factors, I think a good friend will play a crucial role in an unforgettable vacation.


      Admittedly, delicious food and a special location can bring us unique experience and joy. Take myself as example, just like most of the young, I regard eating the local food as one of the things that must be done in a strange place. As for the location, no one can deny that a suitable location can give you quite different feelings or help you relax yourself. However, when it comes to the most important factor during a vacation, I cannot agree more with the opinion that good friends should be taken into account firstly.


    To begin with, a friend who has a variety of knowledge can help you understand the food you eat and the interesting of places you visit. Such a friend can act as an inductor (I don't know where you got this word from but it now commonly means 'an electrical component, usually shaped like a coil, that introduces induction', rather than 'instructor'..) for you. I still remember when I visited mountain Huang, which is famous for its beautiful scenery and unique stones. I almost knew nothing about various stones. But my friend, who is good at this filed (Do you mean 'field'?) offered me lots of assistances. He explained how the mountain came into being and taught me how to clarify (You 'clarify' something obscure like doubts and questions, but you 'differentiate' or 'tell apart' physical things from one another.) different stones. It is not only the beautiful scenery but also the knowledge that leads to a meaningful trip.


    In addition, humorous friends make your trip colorful. The example of my trip to the Sichuan province proves my view perfectly. I traveled to Sichuan accompanied by my best friend and he is a funny person. During the 25 hours in the train, he told jokes to me and played cards with me. I cannot imagine without him, how boring my trip would have been. After we arrived in Chengdu, the capital city of Sichuan, we spent our time in enjoying some delicate snacks. It is not the food itself but my friend that gave me a wonderful time.


Taking all these factors into account, it is apparent that a good friend contributes to an enjoyable vacation the most. Every one needs to be accompanied and understood all the time. Together with a bona fide friend, our vacation will be more enjoyable.

总结:

说理论述很好。请特别注意长句中容易忽略的小语法点,单复啊,时态啊,第三人称啊,甚至拼写。。还有就是can的否定形式cannot是一个词,中间没有空格。。中间有空格的can not的意思和cannot的意思是不一样的。。


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发表于 2012-10-29 18:58:12 |只看该作者
已改,加油
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发表于 2012-10-31 19:54:34 |只看该作者

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发表于 2012-10-31 20:14:38 |只看该作者
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发表于 2012-10-31 22:21:57 |只看该作者
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发表于 2012-10-31 23:13:40 |只看该作者
1026 不好意思 改晚了 哥们儿 你水平太高了
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美版2016offer达人 IBT Zeal IBT Smart IBT Elegance 2016 US-applicant

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发表于 2012-11-1 07:59:27 |只看该作者
     10.24 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important characteristic for politics is to accept responsibility for mistake. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

When it comes to the most crucial element of politics, it is no exaggeration to say that ten people will hold ten different opinions. In this day and age, there is a view that we should give priority to the characteristic that politics should accept responsibility for mistakes. Speaking for myself, I agree with the statement with certain qualifications.
     Admittedly, having the courage to shoulder the responsibility for the mistake(s) you have made is one of the fundamental factors of politics. Once a politician brings any negative effect to the society, no matter who you (You started the sentence with 'a politician', which is in 3rd person. And here you switch into 2nd person 'you'. This is not consistent, and the meaning of your sentence is thus twisted.) are, you must explain it to the public and dedicate yourself to tackle these problems. A politician may not gain people's understanding and support otherwise. Nevertheless, we cannot overstate the significance of this kind of duty but neglect other pivotal characteristics.   
    For example, the wisdom of politicians plays an essential role in their work. The leader of one country, who is confronted with increasing challenges, needs the wisdom. Hu jingtao, the president of China, is just stuck in a complex situation. The economic environment around the world is disappointing, so is China's (This construct is in fact a parallel sentence: 'the…environment around the world is disappointing, China's environment is disappointing too'.). The president and his assistants have to make new plans and find out the efficient methods. It is a really tough task for common citizens. However, as the most powerful leader of China, Hu must think out the functional plan based on his team's wisdom. This example illustrates my opinion that intelligence is also one of the cornerstones of the politics.
    Another significant characteristic is the honesty. No matter how clever and how courageous a politician is, he/she is likely to become the "enemy" of the public if he/she is dishonest. Countless leaders pretend to be honest and warm-hearted when they face the public but do many illegal things behind us. Imagine this, if a person like that is voted by the public and become an office staff, how will our city or even the whole country will be? (This is a genuine question sentence, so you need to inverse the subject and the modal verb.) We can conclude from the analysis that honesty is one of the characteristics that we must take into account first.
Taking all these factors into account, it is apparent that plenty of characteristics, including the one that is being responsible for the mistakes, are necessary for the politics. It is quite hard to determine which one is the most crucial element on earth considering all of them are important and without any one, the politics may become deformed and unreliable.(True, but you didn't really make direct comparisons between intelligence, honesty and responsibility, or state very clearly that it's very hard to compare them in terms of absolute importance. So I can only agree that there are more than 1 important elements in politics, but I can't say I 100% agree with 'it's hard to determine which one is the most crucial', since you didn't really make a comparison in the essay.)

总结:

感觉政治题材比较不拿手啊~请注意语法和表达的准确~另外就是这个问题是比较型题目所以我喜欢多一些比较。。你要证明A不是最大的,你现在的写法是说因为A很大,B很大,C也很大,所以很难说A是不是最大的,但是严格地说,你应该还要说出ABC之间没有办法比较绝对大小,或者在不同的情况下ABC之间的大小关系不固定,所以无法判断A是否最大。。

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发表于 2012-11-1 09:47:56 |只看该作者
elisawuliang 发表于 2012-10-31 22:21
改好,不好意思,前两天独立写得疲劳了,一时忘记给你修改了,抱歉抱歉。

我最近在写综合,感觉真心不容 ...

好啊~你是拿TPO做的吗?我打算可能从明天开始两天一次吧?你怎么计划的?

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RE: 【独立写作】Darren的作业贴 [修改]
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