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gtjohn
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2010-7-9 20:16:07 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 gtjohn 于 2010-7-10 20:54 编辑

7月10日，20点之前上交ISSUE212, Argument241，作文直接跟帖，修改直接跟帖，不用另开新帖~
注意每篇issue和argument最好附上简要提纲

212"If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."

241The following appeared in a memo at the XYZ company.

"When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating resumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less-expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine."

Argument, Issue, 作文小组

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cynthiasmile
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沙发

发表于 2010-7-10 17:13:23 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 cynthiasmile 于 2010-7-12 04:17 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."
1.全国调查不能代表地方
2.杂志售罄不代表人们会种蔬菜
3.扩大种子种类不代表增加利润

In this memo, the author recommends that Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds stocked for gardeners this coming spring. To support this recommendation, the author cites a national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets, also the fact that the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at Village News stand three months in a row. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.
A threshold problem with the argument involves that it assumes the nationwide statistics about many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets applies equally to the local consumers in this suburban town. Common sense tells us that it is of great possibility that in a suburban town there can be more green vegetable bases where most people use natural organic fertilizer which can improve both the growth and the quality of the vegetables much better than those using mechanized planting then send into supermarkets in cities. The cleaner air and water condition may also contribute to the satisfactory of the vegetables from the local people. Unless the author can cite in a survey which is the representative of all suburban town residents, any conclusion we drawn may be unwarranted.
Yet another problem with the argument involves that the mere fact that the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village New stand three months in a row hardly suffices to prove that local residents would love to grow vegetables themselves. First, maybe after months‘ poor sales of this magazine, the owners of the Village News stand started to reduce the number of copies they purchase three months ago which leads to the sold out of this magazine. Second, it sounds like Great Gardens not only focuses on the vegetable growing methods but also plants and flowers in gardens. The sold-out situation could come from many other reasons such as the upsurge of growing a kind of flowers which appears in a hot TV series often so that many people began to love that. Without better evidence, the assertion that more people will grow vegetable themselves still remains unconvincing.
Last but not the least, even if the author can substantiate all of the forgoing assumption that people's interest in growing vegetable they really grows, the author's assertion that greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds this coming spring so as to increase profits is still unwarranted. To evaluate the profitability of this method we should consider both revenue and expense. First, the author fails to provide evidence that the variety of vegetable seeds at the moment can`t meet the growing demands in future. Maybe the eating habits in this suburban town lead to the fact that people here only favors in certain kinds of vegetables, which the store already has the seeds of. What’s more, expanding the variety of vegetable seeds can increase costs because they may have to build new relationship with new suppliers. Second, expanding the variety of vegetable seeds without evaluating the market demand may also result in poor sales later or even bankrupt of this gardening center. In short, without considering seriously about such possibilities of increasing costs and poor sales, it is still hard to draw the conclusion.
To sum up, the author cannot justify his or her recommendation that Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds they stock for gardeners this coming spring on the basis of the scant evidence provide in the nationwide survey and the sold-out situation in the local Village News stand.

补交第一次ISSUE 拍啊拍啊
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1121441&extra=

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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cynthiasmile
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板凳

发表于 2010-7-10 17:26:04 |只看该作者

才发现写成了………………明天的argu题…………
错了…………
好抱歉…………

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gtjohn
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地板

发表于 2010-7-10 17:55:14 |只看该作者

3# cynthiasmile
额，不要紧吧
我argument写好了，issue写得惨不忍睹...

先吃饭了，吃好修改下发上来

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gtjohn
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5楼

发表于 2010-7-10 18:58:34 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 gtjohn 于 2010-7-10 20:24 编辑

TOPIC:ARGUMENT241
1.  8年前不好不代表现在也不好
2.  员工多，分支机构多不代表就好
3.  找工作时间短不代表找的工作就好，也不能完全说明是Delany的功劳

In this argument, the author concludes that replacing Delany Personnel Firm with cheaper Walsh would be a mistake. To sustain this conclusion, the arguer points out the evidence that eight years ago the company was using Walsh, and the effect was not sound. In addition, he indicates that Delany is better when compared the number of staff and branch offices with Walsh. Furthermore, he cites the result of a recent survey in support of the conclusion. At first glance, the argument appears to be compelling, but further discussion reveals that this argument fails to provide convincing support to justify the conclusion.

First the arguer points out that they had used Walsh eight years ago, and at that time the performance of Walsh was not well. Although this is entirely possible, the author offers no evidence to confirm the assumption. For example, if the industry was suffering a finial crisis, as a result many companies laid off employees and cut off job openings. The situation was very bad to find a job. On the other hand, during the past eight years, a lot of improvement may happen to Walsh through such effective methods to enhance their competency as hiring more professional people or building favorable connections to some factories. Therefore, it is unreasonable to rule out Walsh due to what happened in eight years ago.

Another flaw that weakens the logic of this argument is that the arguer think Delany is better just because of their bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. Nevertheless, there is no evidence to show that Delany would be more efficient than Walsh. Oppositely, with more staff and larger branches, Delany may be less efficient and has higher cost due to the overstaff organization. For example, a laid-off employee maybe has to submit more tables and wait for more days before the staffs begin to settle their problems. Bigger firms often have more clients while they do not have sufficient staffs although the number of staff seems bigger. A staff in Delany maybe handles three or more cases at one time while the Walsh's staff has fewer clients in hand and could provide more direct and instant response.

Finally, even if the survey presenting Delany took less time to help their clients to find jobs than Walsh does turns out to support that Delany is more efficient, it does not prove that Delany is effective when taking further reflection. The time spent on finding a job to large extent depends on the employee's personal competence, working experience, and anticipated goal. It is possible that clients of Delany are often competitive than clients of Walsh. Moreover, spending less time to find a job does not mean it could find a good job. It would be worthwhile if Walsh could help the laid-off employees to find better jobs and charge less though it would take more time.

The author cannot justify the recommendation merely based on the unfounded and dubious evidence. To support the argument, further investigation and analysis with regard to the effectiveness of Delany and Walsh are needed.

第一篇阿狗，用了好多模板句型额。。。

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dingjunyuan
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6楼

发表于 2010-7-10 19:02:43 |只看该作者

TOPIC:argument241
1.8年前与现在的两个公司没有可比性，情况变化
2.对顾客的情况没有说明，可能找工作的标准不同
3.更多的员工和更多的分支机构并不能说明效率高，可能恰恰相反
Merely based on unfounded assumption and dubious evidence,the statement draws a conclusion that it's unwise to use the les-expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany.To substantiate the conclution,the arguer points out evidence that Delany has bigger staff and larger number of branch officers than Walsh Personnel.In addition,he instates that the laid-off employees who used Delanny found jobs more quikly than those who use Walsh last year and those who used neither.At first glance,the arthors argument appears to be somewhat convincving,but further reflection reveals that it omits som substantial concerns that should be addressed to substantiate the argument.In my points of view,this argument suffers from several logical flaws.
  First,the author claims that Delany is better than Walsh,because Walsh made only half of the workers they laid off find jobs within a year eight years ago.The author assumes that without justification that the background condition have remained the same at different time.the assumption is unwarranted because things rarely remain the same over extended periods of time.There are likely all kinds of differences within eight years' time.For instance,perhaps the laid-off standard today is no so strict as it is eight years ago.Only workers who long been absent were fired at that time while those who make a little mistake undiliberately have to leave under the fierce commercial competetion.Any of these scenaries,if true,would serve to undermine the claim that the shorter time the lid-offs take to find a job is contributed to Delany.
  Second,there's no complete information about what job the laid-offs are finding for or whether thay are satisfied with their new job.It is likely that those who went to Delany had stronger urge to get a job than those who did not turn to a personnel firm,no matter what the job is,while the later have a higher job standard.The memo also provide no exact data about how quicker those who used Delany found job than those who did not.So it is reliable to say that the laid-off employees benefits from Delany.
  Third,the recommendation depends on the additional insubstantial assumption that Delany's bigger staff and larger number of branch offices will necessary result in a superior efficiency.And the difference that last year Detanny's clients took an average of six months to find jobs and Walsh's clients took nine is insignificant with no further information about the client's condition.Lacking evidence it is equally possible that the larger scare just prove the inefficiency ,poor management and high cost of Delany.In short,unless the memo can show that the clients of Delany is more satisfacted with the job and the time is markedly short,I can not accept the recommendation.
  To sum up,this arguer fails to substantiate his claim that XYZ company should pays Delany Personnel Firm,because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains.To make the argument more convincing,the arguer would have to provide more information with regard to the client's job standard,qualities and satisfaction now and beight years ago.Additionally,he would have to demonstrate that bigger staff and more branch offices would bring superior efficiency than Walsh.Therefore,if the argument had included the given factors discussed above,it would have been more thorough and logically acceptibale.

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7楼

发表于 2010-7-10 20:20:28 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 gtjohn 于 2010-7-11 01:42 编辑

212"If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."

To chase a goal is the basic human right for everyone, although does this means any method is justifiable to achieve the goal if it is worthy? The answer is no.

In the first place, how to define a goal worthy or not? Who are blamed to decide this question? For different person or groups of people, whether a goal is worthy or not to certain extent depends on his or their standards of value which often varies from each other. People tend to value a goal based on their own perspective, thinking mode and benefit-based relationship. In most cases, it may not be the best definition but receivable one to judge a goal as worthy if it is accepted by a majority. Take Chinese students who prepare for GRE and want to apply for further study overseas as example. They believe this goal is worthy, while others may argue that it is unworthy because one is more promising if he stays and pursues his career in China which is under a booming development while America is go through a financial crisis.

In the second place, even if a goal is accepted by most people as a worthy one, the means which is applied to attain the goal is not always justifiable. Since we live in a society which has regulations and rules to ensure its well-sound operation, there are at least the ethical and moral standards we have to obey when targeting the goal. Without these regulations, if everyone in the society tries to attain his worthy goal through any means he deems as justifiable, it would leave us a chaotic and even immoral society. Only through comply these rules can our rights be ensured and we can remain the freedom of chasing our goals. For example, when a student prepares for the AW exam, he can not plagiarize others' essays for the goal of achieving a higher grade which he deems the goal is worthy. In a democratic society, taking violent measures is unjustifiable to attain any so-called worthy goal.

For further discussion, we should never give up the human moral. Surely, if a goal is worthy, we are supposed to try every justifiable means to attain it, rather than say, any means to attain a goal is justifiable. In the path to the noble goal, we could exhaust our minds, weary our bodies and even sacrifice our lives; however we must never abandon our morals and spirits. In history, we could see the respectable nations, whose people were struggling for the freedom and independence, never sacrifice the lives of children and women for the sake of worthy goal. There is no so-called worthy goal can let us trample the fundamental prerequisites for a human.

In conclusion, not every means is justifiable to be taken to achieve the worthy goal. Everyone has to obey the ethical and moral standards what make us human.

1. 一个目标是不是值得取决人判断者的价值标准
2. 即使一个目标被大多数人认为值得，也不是为达目的不择手段
3. 我们不能放弃道德

写的自己都快吐了。。。

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gtjohn
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8楼

发表于 2010-7-10 21:40:57 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 gtjohn 于 2010-7-11 17:09 编辑

Merely based on unfounded assumption and dubious evidence, the statement draws a conclusion that it's unwise to use the les-expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. To substantiate the conclution, the arguer points out evidence that Delany has bigger staff and larger number of branch officers than Walsh Personnel [Firm].In addition, he instates that the laid-off employees who used Delanny found jobs more qui[c]kly than those who use Walsh last year and those who used neither. At first glance, the aruthors[s去掉] argument appears to be somewhat convincv[v去掉]ing, but further reflection reveals that it omits som[e] substantial concerns that should be addressed to substantiate the argument. In my points of view, this argument suffers from several logical flaws.

First, the author claims that Delany is better than Walsh, because Walsh made only half of the workers they laid off find jobs within a year eight years ago. The author assumes that without justification that the background condition have remained the same at different time. t[T]he assumption is unwarranted because things rarely remain the same over extended periods of time. There are likely all kinds of differences within eight years' time. For instance, perhaps the laid-off standard today is no so[as] strict as it is eight years ago. Only workers who [had]long been absent were fired at that time while those who make a little mistake undiliberately[indeliberately] have to leave under the fierce commercial competeition [today]. Any of these scenaries[scenarios], if true, would serve to undermine the claim that the shorter time the lid-offs[laid-offs?] take to find a job is contributed to Delany.

Second, there's no complete information about what job the laid-offs are finding for or whether thay[they] are satisfied with their new job. It is likely that those who went to Delany had stronger urge to get a job than those who did not turn to a personnel firm, no matter what the job is, while the later have a higher job standard.[later指谁啊] The memo also provide no exact data about how quicker those who used Delany found job than those who did not. So it is reliable to say that the laid-off employees benefits from Delany.[是要说unreliable么？]
[还是觉得对新工作的满意度不能作为标准，把人炒了还花钱找公司来帮人家写简历练习面试在社会主义国家都少见吧，所以让你尽快找到工作就完了，谁管你好坏。。。]

Third, the recommendation depends on the additional insubstantial assumption that Delany's bigger staff and larger number of branch offices will necessary result in a superior efficiency. And the difference that last year Detanny's[这个都拼错啊] clients took an average of six months to find jobs and Walsh's clients took nine is insignificant with no further information about the client's condition. Lacking evidence it is equally possible that the larger scare[啥意思?] just prove the inefficiency, poor management and high cost of Delany. In short, unless the memo can show that the clients of Delany is more satisfacted with the job and the time is markedly short, I can not accept the recommendation.[好像尽量避免主观意见]

To sum up, this arguer fails to substantiate his claim that XYZ company should pays Delany Personnel Firm, because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to provide more information with regard to the client's job standard, qualities and satisfaction now and beight[eight] years ago. Additionally, he would have to demonstrate that bigger staff and more branch offices would bring superior efficiency than Walsh. Therefore, if the argument had included the given factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and logically acceptibale[acceptable].

[发上来前先去word里把简单错误改了。里面的内容在别人提纲里都提到过，我也是参考之后照着自己想法写的。阿狗才开始写，不是太有感觉，先写一点想法，等有提高了再帮你看看。。。囧啊]

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gtjohn
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9楼

发表于 2010-7-11 01:05:01 |只看该作者

用的修改工具，不知道为什么会出现多余格式啊。。。

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dingjunyuan
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10楼

发表于 2010-7-11 01:26:12 |只看该作者

"If a goal is worthy,then any means taken to attain it is true."
提纲：
1。难以判断一个目标是否值得，有利有弊
2。目标值得追求。紧急时尽管一些平时看来不合适的方法也可以一用。
3。不能违反原则，应该避免不正当竞争。

How could a mother know her good-to-excellent care for her baby will pretect it from the outcome injuries,or indulge the child to be a jerk?Which one would a soldier choose when he is in a dilemma whether to tell his elderly sick mother that his brother fell in battle or to conceal the facts in order not to hurt her feelings?And what a school should be definite as,a place you can learn some thing you need or a tool you can use with deception and cheating to get a high position in the society?As we grow up,fair or unfair processes came to our eyes that aimed at a certain goal.Then the speaker assets it is justifiable to take any means to attain a worthy goal.
In the first place,it is absolutely entangling to judge whether a goal is worthy or not,no matter from individual or social perspectives.For instance,the development of industries provide more revenus,job opportunities,living convinience and,at the same time,the impetus for the development of economics.Yet someone would be skeptical about the effects of industrial expansion considering the environmental pollution that caused by industries is far beyond the new controlling technology.Similar case is the presidential campaign,Is it really valuable to cost money,time and manpower to reach a party or the government's goal?Is it virtually meaningful to excecute one of the regulations that may totally for the leader's mind,not the people's.And its value is also depend on one's age and social experiences.it varies from ech other.
Provided that a goal is worthy,it is true that some means taken to attain it is justifiable,although under some other conditions is improper.To guid a team of explorers to subsit and get out of a dessert,one would disguise his companion that there's a oasis that not far in front of them.To maintain the social steady,the government may conceal the military intelligence.And to fight for the independece and emancipatory,the leader may sacrifice some soldier's life for the happiness of the other people.In short,some seemingly improper ways to gain a predicted result is necessary under a certain condition,especially in emergency.
However,although these goals are worthy indeed,there are certain disciplines or bottom line one should obey in the process to attain it.Industry construction is necessary indeed,while it is true that environmental protection should be always in concern.If we only go after the industrial development regardless of the high price of recovering waste airand water pollution,the terrible environment may also have negative impact in some way on the realization of the goal.To maximising the profit is undoubtly the purpose of an enterprise,but if the enterprise achieve it buy cheating clients and monopolisation,the market must be a chaos and commercial activities no longer run nomally.When it comes to writing a treatise,nobody can justify the means of copying,fabricating and other unfair ways to attain it.
In sum, a goal's worth is hard to determine.Given that the goal is worthy,we should still persisting the disciplines except for some special moment to achieve it.That is justifiable.

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11楼

发表于 2010-7-11 01:27:14 |只看该作者

谢谢gtjohn啊~那个修改工具还不太熟悉，今晚改吧
大家都还没写Issue吗？

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gtjohn
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12楼

发表于 2010-7-11 01:39:42 |只看该作者

10# dingjunyuan
赞，这么晚了还坚持来交作业

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gtjohn
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13楼

发表于 2010-7-11 01:41:31 |只看该作者

11# dingjunyuan
我的issue交了哈，不过写得太差了，希望大家提点意见，我继续修改
那个工具我也不太会用，之前好好的，这次改你的出来下划线和斜体。。。

我argument刚开始看，感觉不太会帮人改，等我有进展了会回来再给你改次

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14楼

发表于 2010-7-11 17:07:30 |只看该作者

10# dingjunyuan
{贴上来之前自己先去word里改改！！至少把拼写错误自己解决掉吧！！
注意标点后的空格，段与段之间空一行}

How could a mother know her good-to-excellent care[无微不至的关怀-_-||学习了] for her baby will pretect[protect] it[it…] from the outcome injuries, or indulge the child to be a jerk?[这反问的也太犀利了吧…] Which one would a soldier choose when he is in a dilemma[加个”?”] whether to tell his elderly sick mother that his brother fell in battle or to conceal the facts in order not to hurt her feelings? And what a school should be definite as, a place you can learn some thing you need or a tool you can use with deception and cheating to get a high position in the society? As we grow up, fair or unfair processes came to our eyes that aimed at a certain goal. Then the speaker assets it is justifiable to take any means to attain a worthy goal.
[最后一段讲到fair or unfair，会是全文的话题么？Then什么意思，speaker提出的这句是在As we grow up…的基础上么？]
[三句反问，联系不是很清楚，没有搞懂你想说什么。。。]

In the first place, it is absolutely entangling[这个词什么意思？] to judge whether a goal is worthy or not, no matter from individual or social perspectives. For instance, the development of industries provide more revenues, job opportunities, living convenience[convenience] and, at the same time, the impetus for the development of economics. Yet someone would be skeptical about the effects of industrial expansion considering the environmental pollution that caused by industries is far beyond the new controlling technology. Similar case is the presidential campaign, is it really valuable to cost money, time and manpower to reach a party or the government's goal? Is it virtually meaningful to excecute[execute] one of the regulations that may totally for the leader's mind, not the people's.[问号吧] And its value is also depend on one's age and social experiences. it varies from ech[each] other.
[只是简单说了不同人和群体对同一个goal的判断是不一样的，那么不一样的原因呢？选举这个不是太明白，连着两个问句的作用是否比较不好，因为你还没把问题讲清楚，如果很明确了，可以用反问加强语气]

Provided that a goal is worthy, it is true that some means taken to attain it is justifiable, although under some other conditions is improper. [some means, some condition，概念比较模糊，一个means既可以justifiable也可以improper?]To guide a team of explorers to subsit{?}and get out of a dessert, one would disguise his companion that there's a oasis that not far in front of them. To maintain the social steady, the government may conceal the military intelligence. And to fight for the independe[n]ce and emancipatory, the leader may sacrifice some soldier's life for the happiness of the other people. In short, some seemingly improper ways to gain a predicted result is necessary under a certain condition, especially in emergency.
[例子比较多，但是感觉说理不深入，例子也没有展开。觉得可以选一个例子，多说一点，为什么要这样，是不是只能这样。而且为什么justifiable呢？他们只是这么做了，但是不能解释为什么就认为是justifiable呢？]

However, although these goals are worthy indeed, there are certain disciplines or bottom line one should obey in the process to attain it. [为什么呢？什么是bottom line? 不obey会咋样？obey了目标完不成咋办？下面直接举例了，论证不够。可以把你认为的底线论述出来，这样后面丢三个对应的例子就比较好]Industry construction is necessary indeed, while it is true that environmental protection should be always in concern. If we only go after the industrial development regardless of the high price of recovering waste air and water pollution, the terrible environment may also have negative impact in some way on the realization of the goal. To maximis[z]ing the profit is undoubtly the purpose of an enterprise, but if the enterprise achieve it buy cheating clients and monopolis[z]ation, the market must be a chaos and commercial activities no longer run no[r]mally. When it comes to writing a treatise, nobody can justify the means of copying, fabricating and other unfair ways to attain it.

In sum, a goal's worth is hard to determine. Given that the goal is worthy, we should still persisting[persist] the disciplines except for some special moment to achieve it. That is justifiable.[special moment就不要坚持底线了？这样就是justifiable？？]

[读完之后的概念是worthy不worthy不是那么好判断的，if worthy了一些方法是justifibale的，一些就improper，完了要有底线。那你认为的in emergency的means到底是不是justifiable呢？那到底要不要底线呢。。。]

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