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10# dingjunyuan
{贴上来之前自己先去word里改改!!至少把拼写错误自己解决掉吧!!
注意标点后的空格,段与段之间空一行}
How could a mother know her good-to-excellent care[无微不至的关怀-_-||学习了] for her baby will pretect[protect] it[it…] from the outcome injuries, or indulge the child to be a jerk?[这反问的也太犀利了吧…] Which one would a soldier choose when he is in a dilemma[加个”?”] whether to tell his elderly sick mother that his brother fell in battle or to conceal the facts in order not to hurt her feelings? And what a school should be definite as, a place you can learn some thing you need or a tool you can use with deception and cheating to get a high position in the society? As we grow up, fair or unfair processes came to our eyes that aimed at a certain goal. Then the speaker assets it is justifiable to take any means to attain a worthy goal.
[最后一段讲到fair or unfair,会是全文的话题么?Then什么意思,speaker提出的这句是在As we grow up…的基础上么?]
[三句反问,联系不是很清楚,没有搞懂你想说什么。。。]
In the first place, it is absolutely entangling[这个词什么意思?] to judge whether a goal is worthy or not, no matter from individual or social perspectives. For instance, the development of industries provide more revenues, job opportunities, living convenience[convenience] and, at the same time, the impetus for the development of economics. Yet someone would be skeptical about the effects of industrial expansion considering the environmental pollution that caused by industries is far beyond the new controlling technology. Similar case is the presidential campaign, is it really valuable to cost money, time and manpower to reach a party or the government's goal? Is it virtually meaningful to excecute[execute] one of the regulations that may totally for the leader's mind, not the people's.[问号吧] And its value is also depend on one's age and social experiences. it varies from ech[each] other.
[只是简单说了不同人和群体对同一个goal的判断是不一样的,那么不一样的原因呢?选举这个不是太明白,连着两个问句的作用是否比较不好,因为你还没把问题讲清楚,如果很明确了,可以用反问加强语气]
Provided that a goal is worthy, it is true that some means taken to attain it is justifiable, although under some other conditions is improper. [some means, some condition,概念比较模糊,一个means既可以justifiable也可以improper?]To guide a team of explorers to subsit{?}and get out of a dessert, one would disguise his companion that there's a oasis that not far in front of them. To maintain the social steady, the government may conceal the military intelligence. And to fight for the independe[n]ce and emancipatory, the leader may sacrifice some soldier's life for the happiness of the other people. In short, some seemingly improper ways to gain a predicted result is necessary under a certain condition, especially in emergency.
[例子比较多,但是感觉说理不深入,例子也没有展开。觉得可以选一个例子,多说一点,为什么要这样,是不是只能这样。而且为什么justifiable呢?他们只是这么做了,但是不能解释为什么就认为是justifiable呢?]
However, although these goals are worthy indeed, there are certain disciplines or bottom line one should obey in the process to attain it. [为什么呢?什么是bottom line? 不obey会咋样?obey了目标完不成咋办?下面直接举例了,论证不够。可以把你认为的底线论述出来,这样后面丢三个对应的例子就比较好]Industry construction is necessary indeed, while it is true that environmental protection should be always in concern. If we only go after the industrial development regardless of the high price of recovering waste air and water pollution, the terrible environment may also have negative impact in some way on the realization of the goal. To maximis[z]ing the profit is undoubtly the purpose of an enterprise, but if the enterprise achieve it buy cheating clients and monopolis[z]ation, the market must be a chaos and commercial activities no longer run no[r]mally. When it comes to writing a treatise, nobody can justify the means of copying, fabricating and other unfair ways to attain it.
In sum, a goal's worth is hard to determine. Given that the goal is worthy, we should still persisting[persist] the disciplines except for some special moment to achieve it. That is justifiable.[special moment就不要坚持底线了?这样就是justifiable??]
[读完之后的概念是worthy不worthy不是那么好判断的,if worthy了一些方法是justifibale的,一些就improper,完了要有底线。那你认为的in emergency的means到底是不是justifiable呢?那到底要不要底线呢。。。] |
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