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johnmclain
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16楼

发表于 2010-9-1 18:04:46 |只看该作者

14# superchaos 我的逻辑结构是这样的

首先，孩子们的课已经很多了。

第二，题目说还要加课。这就减少了他们的课余时间。

第三、我觉得课余时间很重要。

第四、所以不同意题目的说法。

幸福就在身边，一点一滴。

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johnmclain
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17楼

发表于 2010-9-1 18:05:29 |只看该作者

14# superchaos 我文章的第二段是个关键段落。。。。

幸福就在身边，一点一滴。

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johnmclain
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18楼

发表于 2010-9-7 20:18:39 |只看该作者

9月7日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

I partly agree with the statement that parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine the future for their children, with reservations that parents should interfere when necessary.

The ability to decide on one’s own is an indispensible ability for a modern person because in a complex world full of crossings, one can’t always find a universally valid guidance and have to think for their own behalves. So the parents have the responsibility to cultivate the child’s ability to judge and make their own choices. The best way of giving such lessons is to offer adequate space to think and decide. A research showed that when facing difficulties children raised under careful attention are more likely to retreat and call for help before a trial than those who grow up with enough independent space. The latter shows some commendable spirits such as self-confidence and toughness.

However, an attempt to comprehend “leaving enough independent space” as leaving the child alone might be skin-deep. When children are very young, they have little experience to make decisions on their own. When they are in their teens, due to the disability of controlling impulses and a lack of moral concerns, they make mistakes every now and then. I am not meaning that we should prevent our children from making any mistakes. What I meant was that we should stop our children with proper guidance, for example persuading them out of smoking or taking drugs. Moreover, a proper suggestions help bring a family together. When the child’s best friend is moving away, the kid would feel sad for a time. That might be all right for parents to comfort the kid and share their own similar experiences, telling them they still could be best friends through mailing and both of them would run into new friends. In this way, without any interference, parents are helping a child out of depression and at the same time build up a positive way of living.

From what has been stated above, I think the best way to raise a child might be keeping a proper distance, instead of extreme ways of too attentive or leaving children alone.

幸福就在身边，一点一滴。

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primrose0519
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19楼

发表于 2010-9-8 12:03:51 |只看该作者

9月7日
1 a2 O! i' w. T, WDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.
/ J: S! O- M6 P' y; ~3 `* m2 i: `' H2 v% j* |4 k: O1 a; h
I partly agree with the statement that parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine the future[url=] for their children[/url][S1] , with reservations [url=]that parents should interfere when necessary.[/url]" [S2] g/ s$ R7 k! R. R, c2 [

$ Y+ U3 r1 R* O& XThe ability to decide on one’s own is an indispensible ability for a modern person [url=]because[/url][S3] in a complex world full of crossings, one can’t always find a universally valid guidance and have to think for their own behalves. So the parents have the responsibility to cultivate the child’s ability to judge and make their own choices. The best way of giving such lessons is to offer adequate [url=]space[/url][S4] to think and decide. A research showed that when facing difficulties, children raised under careful attention are more likely to retreat and call for help before a trial than those who grow up with enough [url=]independent space[/url][S5] . The latter shows some commendable spirits such as self-confidence and toughness. 9 O5 n2 O) L! s3 A1 J
" G8 g2 V/ p8 `) O- J1 Y; W
However, an attempt to comprehend “leaving enough independent space” as leaving the child alone might be skin-deep. When children are very young, they have little experience to make decisions on their own. When they are in their teens, due to the disability of controlling impulses and a lack of moral concerns, they make mistakes every now and then. I [url=]am not meaning[/url][S6] that we should prevent our children from making any mistakes. What I meant was that we should stop our children with proper guidance, for example persuading them out of smoking or taking drugs. Moreover, a proper suggestions helps bring a family together. When the child’s best friend is moving away, the kid would feel sad for a time. That might be all right for parents to comfort the kid and share their own similar experiences, telling them they still could be best friends through mailing and both of them would run into new friends. In this way, without any interference, parents are helping a child out of depression and at the same time build up a positive way of living.
$ I3 i0 ]. `7 h8 V. e$ ?# g+ Z3 S
3 j x9 p- f8 W1 OFrom what has been stated above, I think the best way to raise a child might be keeping a proper distance, instead of extreme ways of too attentive or leaving children alone.结尾最好用上题目中的关键词显得更加的扣题。
文章总体来说还是很连贯的，词句的变化也很到位，但是注意一下某个词或某个关键短语不能老是重复的使用，一些句子“When children are very young, they have little experience to make decisions on their own. When they are in their teens, due to the disability of controlling impulses and a lack of moral concerns, they make mistakes every now and then.”读起来不够简练；句式也不要重复，因为这里不是排比表达法，后一句可以这样写“as they become adolescents, they still make mistakes every…due to….”
逻辑方面，仅扣文题是很好的，举例可以再详细一些就更好了。
总之，很不错，加油加油！！

[S1]这个删掉,和前面累赘

[S2]这个从句是修饰哪部分的呢,修饰reservations不太对

[S3]Because是连词,应该接从句,这里用for好些

[S4]换成opportunities是否更好呢

[S5]我总觉得space这个词不是很合适，这里可以用independence直接代替

[S6]这个一般不用进行时，说成do not mean 就行了

18# johnmclain

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primrose0519
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20楼

发表于 2010-9-8 12:06:30 |只看该作者

我用word改的，如果需要，可以发给你 18# johnmclain

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johnmclain
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21楼

发表于 2010-9-9 20:34:05 |只看该作者

9月9日作业it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life

The movie is a worthy art style not only because some movies could teach us something about real life, they could also serve as amusements.

Many movies are viewed as classical ones because they are thought provoking and reflect realities of the contempory people. Such as documentaries about important issues, Crashes, Sindeler’s list, the Simpsons and so on. They incite us to think about our real lifes. The Crash, for example, make us aware of cultural shocks. Then we may have a relatively comprehensive understanding about the relations between people from different nations, what others are thinking about cultural shocks, why we should respect each other, how this crashes happen. So movies like Crashes are highly remarked and some people might claim that movies that could not teach us something in life are not worthy of watching.

However, what such a claim has occluded might be the fact that movies could also serve to make funs. With increasing tension of modern society, people are inclined to find some space to release themselves. That is to say, many people are merely watching a film for fun. And movies that show much about real life cause boredom though they are intrinsic. Thus, movies of fictions and amusments have been more popular nowadays. It is a good way to set free oneself after a week of hard work watching a film that is full of excitements.

Classic thought provoking films are really precious artworks. But it dose not mean that movies that aimed at amusment are not worthy because they offer us a way to forget the troubles and tension for a while. Just like we need formal clothes for parties and ceremonies as well as ordinary clothes for everyday life.

幸福就在身边，一点一滴。

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