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kidlove
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-1-28 19:52:51 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 kidlove 于 2011-1-29 14:03 编辑

Cherish的, 貌似写的有点太多了...改着改着改不动了....其实有些例子很废的...大家看看吧...多多提意见~~~
辛苦给我改的人了~咔咔~

ISSUE 69. "Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"

WORDS:695 TIME: 17:35--19:00 DATE: 28/01/2011

In the statement, the author addresses a question on whether scientific researches and development should be restricted or not. In my perspective, emerge a question: when should government practice restriction and what kind of restriction would like to be implemented. Well, the answer is dependent.

For generations, every step of the development in human society is contributed by bit and bit of progress in science, including medical, technological, astronomy, transportations, etc. There are thousands of scientific inventions leading us into a daily-new society that we can never live without. For instance, the most renowned and frequently mentioned example of Edison's bulb. It is Edison, who had brought us light and hope, save us from darkness of night enlightened us to absorb knowledge even in freezing cold night. Toilet, although no one can think of it until they are in needed. It's an essential of our life: when we suffer from stomachache, going to the toilet might be the first thought than seeking a doctor. Things as small as mobile phone contribute enormously in our daily life. Cellphones greatly abrige the distance among people and make conversation much easier and approacheable almost in anywhere. Recently, we cannot be too surprised that Steve Jobs with his group have made video conversation possible, which only can be seen in scientific movies years ago. Automobiles, trains, planes, and other means of transportations are as well fastening our life and development of the society. We are glad to see ships containing tons of goods and machines porting in the ports as a part of this fast progressing phenonmenom of globalization.

Every coin has two sides, while bring us convinience, science may also play the role as fountain of evil and controverses. The most famous case should be the atomic weapon discovered by Einstein. We should all recognize that Einstein was a genius that he researched his most famous work the theory of Relativity. Modern nuclear physics has developed on the basis of Einstein's law of Relativity. At first when Einstein invented atomic bomb, he was frirhgtened and deeply regreted for creating such a threat to human beings. Admittedly, atomic bomb and nuclear weapon have always being a danger and threat between nations and once war started between nuclear weapon-owned countries, the result will be unimaginable. Several years ago, when Dolly, the first cloned mammal was presented in public, globe-wide debate took place in everywhere. Some said it was due to development of science and might someday cure diseases that human were not able to deal with at that moment. On the contrary, others thought that clone as a new technology, would result in moral problem and endanger the purity of human beings.

Peace now plays an important role in our societies, everyone cherishes peace but meanwhile is afraid of it being destroyed by possible causes. Take the most dangerous one-nuclear weapon in North Korea and Iran-as example. Some countries in the world have discovered and possess nuclear weapons since long, but a contract of limiting nuclear weapons have reached among those countries. For some unknown or complicated reasons, North Korea and Iran are making effort to produce nuclear weapons in disregard of oppositions from all over the world. Some great countries thus, in thinking of peace and safty of the world are trying to concile with those two between benefit and security of both side. Since the industrial revolution, factories and companies have almost dominated every part of the world, in need of develop, many factories only see their own profit by ignoring the destructive affect they have caused. Global warming, water and air pollution, animal destinction, humans are putting themselves into a place that no one will be able to live in. Fortunately, there are more and more people started to realize that and some remedies have taken place, governments established regulations to prevent our ambient from becoming worse and worse while NGOs too, are playing an indispensable part in making a better place for us.

Development in science and technology is borderless and infinite, but should be rooted in the benifit and security of people, who is the origin of inspiration and motivation of scientific research and development.

Issue69

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沙发

发表于 2011-1-28 20:35:12 |只看该作者

那个银素偶。。。。。

你要静候再静候 @3.1AW6G

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板凳

发表于 2011-1-29 13:13:55 |只看该作者

哇咔咔~~mua~辛苦你啦~

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地板

发表于 2011-1-29 13:59:27 |只看该作者

In the statement, the author addresses a question on whether scientific researches and development should be restricted or not（既然转述题目，就要把题目的条件都列出来，防止自己跑题，也表明自己审题严明，应该把由政府列出来）. In my perspective, （这里的主语应该不能省吧）emerge a question: when should government practice restriction and what kind of restriction would like to be（我觉得应该是should be，would like一般带有感情色彩，主语一般为有感情的事物吧） implemented. Well, the answer is dependent.

For generations, every step of the development in human society is contributed by bit and bit of progress in science（表达有点儿怪异，考虑一下progress achieved bit by bit）, including(你这里是要列举，所以最好还是用such as吧) medical, technological, astronomy, transportations, etc. There are thousands of scientific inventions leading us into a daily-new society that we can never live without.（好好检查一下这一句）For instance, the most renowned and frequently mentioned example of Edison's bulb（这句缺谓语）. It is Edison, who had（这已经是历史事实，用一般现在时陈述就可以了）brought us light and hope, save us from darkness of night （，）enlightened（这个词的意思你在揣摩一下，我不知道是不是我理解错了你的本意，要是你想表达保证等类似意思，这个词儿不恰当） us to absorb knowledge even in freezing cold night. Toilet, although no one can think of it until they are（这种错误不要犯了） in needed（直接needed不就可以了吗？）. It's an essential of our life: when we suffer from stomachache, going to the toilet might be the first thought（这个词的意思相当正规，是指仔细思考后的想法，上个厕所范不着仔细思考吧） than seeking a doctor. Things as small as mobile phone contribute enormously in our daily life. Cellphones greatly abrige（难道是abridge？） the distance among（借此用的不好，你听过“在。。。中的距离”这种表达吗） people and make conversation much easier and approacheable（平行结构的强度要一致，你前面比较级，后面怎么又是原形） almost in anywhere. Recently, we cannot be too surprised that Steve Jobs with his group have made video conversation possible（你仔细读一下这句是不是你想表达的意思）, which only can be seen in scientific movies years ago. Automobiles, trains, planes, and other means of transportations are as well fastening（你想表达拉近我们生活的距离吗，这个词儿可不合适。） our life and development of the society（同样缺谓语）. We are glad to see ships containing（用的不好） tons of goods and machines porting in the ports as a part of this fast progressing phenonmenom（phenomenon） of globalization.

就看这两段吧，介意LZ回去恶补语法吧，你对词义的把握也有待提高，你的逻辑我就不做评述了，因为太多的错误严重影响对文章的理解。不过看你举了那么多例子，却没有展开一个去具体说，我估计你在逻辑方面也有不少的辛苦要下。

仅发表个人意见。

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