[作文] 作文修改，求大神指导 [复制链接]

darkboy1989
UID：3444646

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 60
寄托币: 155
注册时间: 2013-6-11
精华: 0
帖子: 29

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2013-8-19 11:01:06 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

刚刚写了一篇作文，求大神指导，从写作思路，结构，语法错误之类的指出错误之处，谢谢啦。
剑8 test1
some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society.others,however,believe that school is the place to learn this.discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

下边是我写的。

In terms of children education, there has been a heated discussion about, for the youth’s sake, whether parents or schools should take responsibility in educating the next generation, which divides people into two opposing groups.

Some people hold that parents are supposed to be responsible for teaching their children how to behave properly and what role they are expected to play when they grow up. As people always say, parents are children’s first tutor, which means parenting education is superior to schooling and exerts much more influence on the youth. Therefore, on all occasions parents should cultivate their children to be an active and able member of the society.

However, others think otherwise. Essential as the parenting seems, it lacks the education system as the school does. Children will gain a wealth of knowledge, which they may utilize later in life, from their teachers, such as chemistry, physics, history, philosophy, etc. Besides, compared to warm home, a child has more peers at school, where they can learn mutually and compete with each other to foster their maturity. Take the sports for example, through playing basketball or football, the young can be physically strong and develop teamwork spirit. Consequently, some people claim that schooling is more beneficial to the next generation education than parenting.

As for me, there is no denying that a well-rounded young generation is expected to be physically strong, spiritually noble and intellectually well-educated(learned). Therefore, only with schooling or only with parenting, children education cannot be healthy as well as sustainable in the long run. The best solution to the problem may be the thorough cooperation between the parents and schools.