寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托学术类备考版 › GRE作文互动版 › 作文版回收站 › issue 177 要考了，才有点时间来联系，但是人好象都走了 ...

返回列表

查看: 2159|回复: 7

[同主题temp] issue 177 要考了，才有点时间来联系，但是人好象都走了安？？？ [复制链接]

aaaty
UID：163868

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 1109
注册时间: 2004-5-10
精华: 0
帖子: 0

楼主

发表于 2004-9-3 17:19:29 |只看该作者

issue 177 要考了，才有点时间来联系，但是人好象都走了安？？？

177"The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes."

Do people change their way they perceive the world after studying an academic discipline? Some people assert that the we look at the samw world with different eyes after the study of an academic discipline. In my point of view, I strongly agree with this assertion. To support my point, I will present several examples involving education.

First, we must understand why an academic discipline has so strong power to alter our way of perceiving the world. When born, our mind is simple and pure. We look at the world, passively, absorbing never-before-seen things that are happening, thus changing our understanding of the world. We grow up, year by year, accumulating knowledges not only academic but mostly common sense. We never look at water as something cold and no taste any more, but something composed of hydrogen and oxygen that can drown us. It is the knowledges that reconstruct our brains, and assist them to think and react in better ways. As we know, knowledge is something that how we think the world is, how to recognize it and how to understand it. So knowledge, especially acquired by studying an academic discpline will significantly lift us to a higher level.

One good example in point is that what biology can change a child's attitude toward animals like ants. Ants may only mean black moving little countless creatures that are interesting. They move in lines and carry food with their jaws and they can kill caterpillars. However, all these impression are superficial. But situation is different for a child who read biological books about ants and other social insects. They will have respect to this amazing society structure of ants, which may be the second complex society on earth, running after human's. And they know why they can kill caterpillars which is much bigger in size: ants have poison in their jaws and they hunt in groups, seems quite intellectual. Child like this looks at the ants in eyes different from that who didn't read.

Any specialist has a thorough mastery of a specific discipline, and they look at their field of work in eyes that are different from people who never studied the discipline. A painter, who usually has studied courses like the principles of colors and the principles of lines, look at every ordinary scene different from ordinary people. To them, what they see is colors and lines only, and to others, apple is apple, woman is woman. Composers are another example. Music to them is a colorful picture consisted of lively notes jumping around the five lines while listeners simply appreciate the melody. It is the academic training of art and music that makes them different.

There are still many examples to go. Physics changes our ideas about forces. Astronomy stopped us from considering the earth as the center of the universe, and so on and on.

Admittedly, this assertion only works when one really put his heart in studying; one can forget or disagree with what he was taught. Obviously, this such situation, studying an academic discipline does not have visible influence on the way people look at the world.

In sum, an academic discipline not only alter our way of perceiving the world, but give us new eyes as well. Academic discplines had changed human society in a great extent and are the source of progress. Nowadays, human perceive the world in ways so much different from stone age, and with the emerging of new academic disciplines, we will go through a deeper change of ways of our looking at the world. What's more, that's why education is important.

===================================

给点意见吧~13号就考了，无助中

Linux rules OS world.

使用道具举报

undersea
UID：158944

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 0
寄托币: 1239
注册时间: 2004-3-20
精华: 1
帖子: 3

沙发

发表于 2004-9-3 17:57:16 |只看该作者

我也13号考，我来给你改

177"The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes."

Do people change their way they perceive the world after studying an academic discipline? Some people assert that the we look at the samw world with different eyes after the study of an academic discipline. In my point of view, I strongly agree with this assertion. To support my point, I will present several examples involving education. 开头清晰明了

First, we must understand why an academic discipline has so strong power to alter our way of perceiving the world. When born, our mind is simple and pure. We look at the world, passively, absorbing never-before-seen things that are happening, thus changing our understanding of the world. We grow up, year by year, accumulating knowledges not only academic but mostly common sense. We never look at water as something cold and no taste any more, but something composed of hydrogen and oxygen that can drown us. 这个例子很好It is the knowledges that reconstruct our brains, and assist them to think and react in better ways. As we know, knowledge is something that how we think the world is, how to recognize it and how to understand it. So knowledge, especially acquired by studying an academic discpline will significantly lift us to a higher level. 这一段点出学习给人带来的影响

One good example in point is that what biology can change a child's attitude toward animals like ants. Ants may only mean black moving little countless creatures that are interesting. They move in lines and carry food with their jaws and they can kill caterpillars. However, all these impression are superficial. But situation is different for a child who read biological books about ants and other social insects. They will have respect to this amazing society structure of ants, which may be the second complex society on earth, running after human's. And they know why they can kill caterpillars which is much bigger in size: ants have poison in their jaws and they hunt in groups, seems quite intellectual. Child like this looks at the ants in eyes different from that who didn't read. 这个例子也不错

Any specialist has a thorough mastery of a specific discipline, and they look at their field of work in eyes that are different from people who never studied the discipline. A painter, who usually has studied courses like the principles of colors and the principles of lines, look at every ordinary scene different from ordinary people. To them, what they see is colors and lines only, and to others, apple is apple, woman is woman. Composers are another example. Music to them is a colorful picture consisted of lively notes jumping around the five lines while listeners simply appreciate the melody. It is the academic training of art and music that makes them different.

There are still many examples to go. Physics changes our ideas about forces. Astronomy stopped us from considering the earth as the center of the universe, and so on and on.

Admittedly, this assertion only works when one really put his heart in studying; one can forget or disagree with what he was taught. Obviously, this such situation, 加一个in this situation才对studying an academic discipline does not have visible influence on the way people look at the world.

In sum, an academic discipline not only alter our way of perceiving the world, but give us new eyes as well. Academic discplines had changed human society in a great extent and are the source of progress. Nowadays, human perceive the world in ways so much different from stone age, and with the emerging of new academic disciplines, we will go through a deeper change of ways of our looking at the world. What's more, that's why education is important.
楼主的思路很开阔啊，举的例子都挺不错，很充分，这一点要向你学习
没什么语法错误，语言质量也可以
这类文章主要就是以例证为主，要用分析推理是很难的。但例证的话就要注意不要太松散，每段例子都要和主题相扣，要点题

帮我也看看
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=219084

使用道具举报

Manhattan
UID：174671

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 138
注册时间: 2004-8-15
精华: 0
帖子: 0

板凳

发表于 2004-9-3 20:45:34 |只看该作者

177"The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes."

Do people change their way they perceive the world after studying an academic discipline? Some people assert that the we look at the samw world with different eyes after the study of an academic discipline. In my point of view, I strongly agree with this assertion. To support my point, I will present several examples involving education.

First, we must understand why an academic discipline has so(such?) strong power to alter our way of perceiving the world. When born, our mind is simple and pure. We look at the world, passively, absorbing never-before-seen things that are happening（absorb?? 这个句子结构总觉得怪怪的）, thus changing our understanding of the world. We grow up, year by year, accumulating knowledges not only academic but mostly common sense. We never look at water as something cold and no taste any more, but something composed of hydrogen and oxygen that can drown us. It is the knowledges that reconstruct our brains(brain是个物理的东西，reconstruct不来滴，有点chingish了), and assist them to think and react in better ways. As we know, knowledge is something that how we think the world is, how to recognize it and how to understand it. （how to recognize it and how to understand it. 也是knowledge的定义？）So knowledge, especially acquired by studying an academic discpline will significantly lift us to a higher level.

One good example in point is that what biology can change a child's attitude toward animals like ants. Ants may only mean black moving little countless creatures that are interesting. They move in lines and carry food with their jaws and they can kill caterpillars. However, all these impression are superficial. But situation is different for a child who read biological books about ants and other social insects. They will have respect to this amazing society structure of ants, which may be the second complex society on earth, running after human's. And they know why they can kill caterpillars which is much bigger in size: ants have poison in their jaws and they hunt in groups, seems quite intellectual.（seems....我不知道这么口语化的句子结构会不会造成损害，不过实在是有点friends里聊天的味道） Child like this looks at the ants in eyes different from that who didn't read.

Any specialist has a thorough mastery of a specific discipline, and they look at their field of work in eyes that are different from people who never studied the discipline. A painter, who usually has studied courses like the principles of colors and the principles of lines, look at every ordinary scene different from ordinary people. To them, what they see is colors and lines only, and to others, apple is apple, woman is woman. Composers are another example. Music to them is a colorful picture consisted of lively notes jumping around the five lines while listeners simply appreciate the melody. It is the academic training of art and music that makes them different. (这层是更深入论证么？那么缺乏清晰的TS。首句究竟想说明什么？我想是要说更深如的学习使人的视角更加不同吧)

There are still many examples to go. Physics changes our ideas about forces. Astronomy stopped us from considering the earth as the center of the universe, and so on and on. (结构偏松散，有堆砌感，却缺乏层次感)

Admittedly, this assertion only works when one really put his heart in studying; one can forget or disagree with what he was taught. Obviously, this such situation, studying an academic discipline does not have visible influence on the way people look at the world.

In sum, an academic discipline not only alter our way of perceiving the world, but give us new eyes as well.（这个not only... but also实际上没有递进吧，前后说得不是一回事么？） Academic discplines had changed human society in a great extent and are the source of progress. Nowadays, human perceive the world in ways so much different from stone age, and with the emerging of new academic disciplines, we will go through a deeper change of ways of our looking at the world. What's more, that's why education is important.

本文主要是例证，但个人觉得例子举得有点乱。一会儿一个一会儿两个，建议按层进的方式来举会比较好。

呵呵，我也很菜啦，如果说错就请包含了

有什么快乐，更甚于好友失而复得呢？

我的I & A，欢迎大家看看啊...

ISSUE51 关于教育的效率

ISSUE159 人脑和机器对比

Issue153 学生要持怀疑态度

ARGUMENT6 关于开个Jazz club 赚不赚钱

ARGUMENT144 关于捐款

ARGUMENT186 supervisor对新老员工的影响以及应该hire谁

使用道具举报

aaaty
UID：163868

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 1109
注册时间: 2004-5-10
精华: 0
帖子: 0

地板

发表于 2004-9-3 22:34:19 |只看该作者

多谢大家的修改。

我实在是改进自己的语言，使它更加书面化。但是时间实在不等人，现在提高这方面可能来不及了。我想我可能还是流畅一点，花太多时间注意措辞和句式可能会消耗过多时间，影响思维发散。

反正新的评分标准降低了语言的要求啊。

知识我认为包括认识世界的方法。比如认识论等啊，也是知识啊。

brain哪里是有点问题，当时我本来用的mind，不知道怎么改成brain了：)

not only...as well那里确实不是佷恰当，以后要注意。

”It is the academic training of art and music that makes them different.“ 这里确实不是佷清晰。
different我本来就指前面说到的不同，但是我想如果写成 ..that confer them the insight of painting and music. 可能要好一些。

举例子是我觉得这个话题我只有用举例的方式来论证
空论证我实在不知道怎么写。。。

Linux rules OS world.

使用道具举报

lakeqian
UID：157560

超级会员

Rank: 7 Rank: 7 Rank: 7

声望: 0
寄托币: 11412
注册时间: 2004-3-7
精华: 4
帖子: 19

5楼

发表于 2004-9-4 00:14:55 |只看该作者

楼主区分出了different的两种情况是吧。但是写了那么多段。。。

使用道具举报

Manhattan
UID：174671

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 138
注册时间: 2004-8-15
精华: 0
帖子: 0

6楼

发表于 2004-9-4 00:26:27 |只看该作者

呵呵，原来你是要表达认识论也是知识啊，那我没什么意见。我开始理解错了你的想法啦。

至于论证，我和你刚好相反。我不会例证，总是只有一两个例子一两句话... 所以总觉得自己有时候写的点不少，但都太浅:mad:

比如签名档里那篇153...有空替我看看吧，我挺郁闷的 :(

使用道具举报

genxin_zhang
UID：174485

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 184
注册时间: 2004-8-14
精华: 0
帖子: 0

7楼

发表于 2004-9-4 11:45:59 |只看该作者

Do people change their way they perceive the world after studying an academic discipline? Some people assert that the we look at the samw world with different eyes after the study of an academic discipline. In my point of view, I strongly agree with this assertion. To support my point, I will present several examples involving education.

First, we must understand why an academic discipline has so strong power to alter our way of perceiving the world. When born, our mind is simple and pureAs human being coming to the world, there is nothing in the minds. We look at the world, passively, absorbing never-before-seen things that are happening, thus changing our understanding of the world. We grow upas growing up, year by year, weaccumulating knowledge not only about academic but also mostlywith respect to common sense. We never look at water as something cold and no taste any more, but something composed of hydrogen and oxygen that can drown us.although we just know that the water is potable without taste, it is composed by hydrogen and oxygen. It is the knowledges that reconstruct our brains, and assist them to think and react in better ways. As we know, knowledge is something that how we think the world is, how to recognize it and how to understand it. So knowledge, especially acquired by studying an academic discpline will significantly lift us to a higher level.本段指出人们认识发生变化是由于人们掌握了知识，找到了合理的解释，可否从另一个角度，比如人们在没有掌握知识之前看待自然是reasonable and natural, 没有什么why, 但当人们掌握了该学科的知识就要去知道他的来源

One good example in point is that what biology can change a child's attitude toward animals like ants. in the child’s eyes,Ants may only mean black moving little countless creatures that are interesting. They move in lines and carry food with their jaws and they can kill caterpillarsants just a kind of black moving little creatures, which can carry food with they jaws and kill caterpillars.. However, all these impression are superficial. But× situation is different for a child who read biological books about ants and other social insectsafter they know some knowledge from the biological books about the ants or other gregarious insects,. They will have respect to this amazing society structure of ants, which may be the second complex society on earth, running after human's. And they know why they can kill caterpillars, which is much bigger in size: ants have poison in their jaws and they hunt in groups, seems quite intellectual. Child like this looks at the ants in eyes different from that who didn't read.

Any specialist has a thorough mastery of a specific discipline, and they look at their field of work in eyesthe perspective that are different from people who never studied the discipline. A painter, who usually has studied courses like the principles of colors and the principles of lines, looks at every ordinary scene different from ordinary people. To them, what they see is colors and lines only, and to others, apple is apple, woman is womanin their eye’s, the images are just the lines and colors, while the common people deem it as a masterpiece. are another exampletake composers as another expample. Music to them is a colorful picture consisted of lively notes jumping around the five lines while listeners simply appreciate the melody. It is the academic training of art and music that makes them different.

There are still many examples to go. Physics changes our ideas about forces. Astronomy stopped us from considering the earth as the center of the universe, and so on and on稍微具体点论述一个.

Admittedly, this assertion only works when one really put his heart in studying; one can forget or disagree with what he was taught. Obviously, this such situation, studying an academic discipline does not have visible influence on the way people look at the world.

In sum, an academic discipline not only alter our way of perceiving the world, but give us new eyes as well. Academic discplines had changed human society in a great extent and are the source of progress. Nowadays, human perceive the world in ways so much different from stone age, and with the emerging of new academic disciplines, we will go through a deeper change of ways of our looking at the world. What's more, that's why education is important文中就没有论述这一点.

使用道具举报