[i习作temp] 第二篇 issue11，翘首期盼各位给点建议哦~~ [复制链接]

zhuangjmolly
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-2-24 11:02:10 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 liyue24 于 2009-2-25 00:03 编辑

还是严重超时。。。

11"All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

This position seems to be so attracting at first glance, since the world’s most persistent social problems, existing no shorter than human history itself, remain obviously unsolved without cooperation between nations. This kind of global university, if combining world’s most intelligent and talented students in terms of internationally issues, would undoubtedly contribute to satisfy the anticipations that the world imposes on them. Some social problems might be attached with fresh ideas after weeks or months of exploring and discussing from that school, which could be expected to hit the whole world. But in the long run, no one can ensure this issue-concentrated school wouldn’t go to extremes and become another battlefield beyond people’s initial intention, thus produces more persistent social problems.

As for students themselves, being members of such a specialized school would by no means be a carefree paradise for good. Too much exposure to complicated and tangly issues all days leaves them no luxury but pressure and sometimes powerless sense. Admittedly, those issues, much of which involve sorts of evils indeed, do harm to any researchers psychologically, let alone teenagers. Common sense tells us high IQers are proved to be more vulnerable than normal towards emotional attacks, which congest their everyday approaches. Besides intelligence quotient, and emotion quotient, another newly born term, called A.Q. (adversity quotient) would not be shown so optimistic as what we conceive, on account of their capability to solve problems are often reflected on papers, far from practical, which would ultimately misleading them that any adversities remain out of the real life, only if discussing or calculating can lead to perfect results.

This top group of students gathered at the highlight of whole world would be easily taken advantage of by illegal communities who intend to corrupt the world. For instance, terrorism expands all over the world at a historical high pace recent years. Under the existing global stable conditions, terrorists have few ways to deteriorate most destinations for the reason that they have been carefully preserved by governments or international organizations. But visualizing an ignorable distinguished school, holding much authorities to determine social issues, have been controlled by the terrorists in an arm way, what should we do? Compromising the principle of safeguarding a peaceful and a healthy world to protects the students precious lives, or ignoring those talented students and let them be victims of platitudes? It is of course a dilemma. Even though we choose the former this time, defending for human’s rights, could we persuade students to continue researching? Could we trust in their determinations and positions in the future?

Any specialized associations’ birth is hard to evaluate, unless we accumulate as many resources and hearing from all kinds of voices in a large scale, so does a social-problems-concerning university. Glorious but crisis-ridden, this agenda in any case shouldn’t be designed to experiment on teenagers initially, especially on those promising students who have had sufficient potentials to stand out in other fields. Teenagers have their rights to access large quantities of different information, which helps them enjoy the world’s various fascination, excitements within their own ages. Time flows and never turns back. It is always the duty of adult to deal with the hardest and most serious problems, and to explain to the young generation that the commitment they are bearing are very likely to be that of youths after growing up, and leave those essential problems to the future naturally.

Issue, 建议, 翘首

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sony5650
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沙发

发表于 2009-2-25 00:02:30 |只看该作者

11"All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

我也差不多多新手，一点个人意见：

This position seems to be so attracting at first glance, since the world’s most persistent social problems, existing no shorter than human history itself, remain obviously unsolved without cooperation between nations. This kind of global university, if combining world’s most intelligent and talented students in terms of internationally issues, would undoubtedly contribute to satisfy the anticipations that the world imposes on them. Some social problems might be attached with fresh ideas after weeks or months of exploring and discussing from that school, which could be expected to hit the whole world. But in the long run, no one can ensure this issue-concentrated school wouldn’t go to extremes and become another battlefield beyond people’s initial intention, thus produces more persistent social problems.（感觉开头观点应该更鲜明点，一句话总结）

As for students themselves, being members of such a specialized school would by no means be a carefree paradise for good. Too much exposure to complicated and tangly issues all days leaves them no luxury but pressure and sometimes powerless sense. Admittedly, those issues, much of which involve sorts of evils indeed, do harm to any researchers psychologically, let alone teenagers. （这里感觉有点逻辑上的不连续，一下子就出来high IQers??）Common sense tells us high IQers are proved to be more vulnerable than normal towards emotional attacks, which congest their everyday approaches. Besides intelligence quotient, and emotion quotient, another newly born term, called A.Q. (adversity quotient) would not be shown so optimistic as what we conceive, on account of their capability to solve problems are often reflected on papers, far from practical, which would ultimately misleading them that any adversities remain out of the real life, only if discussing or calculating can lead to perfect results.(感觉例子跟TS论证连接的不是很好)

This top group of students gathered at the highlight of whole world would be easily taken advantage of by illegal communities who intend to corrupt the world. （这里与上一段的过渡不好，逻辑不连续）For instance, terrorism expands all over the world at a historical high pace recent years. Under the existing global stable conditions, terrorists have few ways to deteriorate most destinations for the reason that they have been carefully preserved by governments or international organizations. But visualizing an ignorable distinguished school, holding many authorities to determine social issues, have been controlled by the terrorists in an arm way, what should we do? (晕，这个例子很有创意，但是……感觉很感性化，不理性！说服力不强)Compromising the principle of safeguarding a peaceful and a healthy world to protects the students precious lives, or ignoring those talented students and let them be victims of platitudes? It is of course a dilemma. Even though we choose the former this time, defending for human’s rights, could we persuade students to continue researching? Could we trust in their determinations and positions in the future?

Any specialized associations’ birth is hard to evaluate, unless we accumulate as many resources and hearing from all kinds of voices in a large scale, so does a social-problems-concerning university. Glorious but crisis-ridden, this agenda in any case shouldn’t be designed to experiment on teenagers initially, especially on those promising students who have had sufficient potentials to stand out in other fields. （感觉句的概念又很突然的冒出来，我理解题目没有说一定要teenager来上大学。）Teenagers have their rights to access large quantities of different information, which helps them enjoy the world’s various fascination, excitements within their own ages. Time flows and never turns back. It is always the duty of adult to deal with the hardest and most serious problems, and to explain to the young generation that the commitment they are bearing are very likely to be that of youths after growing up, and leave those essential problems to the future naturally.（对开头的升华还不是很好）
一点点小意见，语言上没法改，我的语言功底不是特别好，不过有几个小错误，我就没有画出来。回拍我吧，感觉我的Issue还没入门，很多题拿了不知该怎么写！

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